The School for Scandal Part 25

SIR BENJAMIN. Run thro' the Body----

CRABTREE. Shot in the breast----

SIR BENJAMIN. By one Mr. Surface----

CRABTREE. Aye the younger.

SIR OLIVER. Hey! what the plague! you seem to differ strangely in your accounts--however you agree that Sir Peter is dangerously wounded.

SIR BENJAMIN. Oh yes, we agree in that.

CRABTREE. Yes, yes, I believe there can be no doubt in that.

SIR OLIVER. Then, upon my word, for a person in that Situation, he is the most imprudent man alive--For here he comes walking as if nothing at all was the matter.

Enter SIR PETER

Odd's heart, sir Peter! you are come in good time I promise you, for we had just given you over!

SIR BENJAMIN. 'Egad, Uncle this is the most sudden Recovery!

SIR OLIVER. Why, man, what do you do out of Bed with a Small Sword through your Body, and a Bullet lodg'd in your Thorax?

SIR PETER. A Small Sword and a Bullet--

SIR OLIVER. Aye these Gentlemen would have kill'd you without Law or Physic, and wanted to dub me a Doctor to make me an accomplice.

SIR PETER. Why! what is all this?

SIR BENJAMIN. We rejoice, Sir Peter, that the Story of the Duel is not true--and are sincerely sorry for your other Misfortune.

SIR PETER. So--so--all over the Town already! [Aside.]

CRABTREE. Tho', Sir Peter, you were certainly vastly to blame to marry at all at your years.

SIR PETER. Sir, what Business is that of yours?

MRS. CANDOUR. Tho' Indeed, as Sir Peter made so good a Husband, he's very much to be pitied.

SIR PETER. Plague on your pity, Ma'am, I desire none of it.

SIR BENJAMIN. However Sir Peter, you must not mind the Laughing and jests you will meet with on the occasion.

SIR PETER. Sir, I desire to be master in my own house.

CRABTREE. 'Tis no Uncommon Case, that's one comfort.

SIR PETER. I insist on being left to myself, without ceremony,-- I insist on your leaving my house directly!

MRS. CANDOUR. Well, well, we are going and depend on't, we'll make the best report of you we can.

SIR PETER. Leave my house!

CRABTREE. And tell how hardly you have been treated.

SIR PETER. Leave my House--

SIR BENJAMIN. And how patiently you bear it.

SIR PETER. Friends! Vipers! Furies! Oh that their own Venom would choke them!

SIR OLIVER. They are very provoking indeed, Sir Peter.

Enter ROWLEY

ROWLEY. I heard high words: what has ruffled you Sir Peter--

SIR PETER. Pshaw what signifies asking--do I ever pa.s.s a Day without my Vexations?

SIR OLIVER. Well I'm not Inquisitive--I come only to tell you, that I have seen both my Nephews in the manner we proposed.

SIR PETER. A Precious Couple they are!

ROWLEY. Yes and Sir Oliver--is convinced that your judgment was right Sir Peter.

SIR OLIVER. Yes I find Joseph is Indeed the Man after all.

ROWLEY. Aye as Sir Peter says, He's a man of Sentiment.

SIR OLIVER. And acts up to the Sentiments he professes.

ROWLEY. It certainly is Edification to hear him talk.

SIR OLIVER. Oh, He's a model for the young men of the age!

But how's this, Sir Peter? you don't Join us in your Friend Joseph's Praise as I expected.

SIR PETER. Sir Oliver, we live in a d.a.m.ned wicked world, and the fewer we praise the better.

ROWLEY. What do YOU say so, Sir Peter--who were never mistaken in your Life?

SIR PETER. Pshaw--Plague on you both--I see by your sneering you have heard--the whole affair--I shall go mad among you!

ROWLEY. Then to fret you no longer Sir Peter--we are indeed acquainted with it all--I met Lady Teazle coming from Mr. Surface's so humbled, that she deigned to request ME to be her advocate with you--

SIR PETER. And does Sir Oliver know all too?

SIR OLIVER. Every circ.u.mstance!