The School for Scandal Part 11

LADY TEAZLE. I beg your Pardon--my dear Sir Peter--indeed-- you always gave the provocation.

SIR PETER. Now--see, my Love take care--contradicting isn't the way to keep Friends.

LADY TEAZLE. Then don't you begin it my Love!

SIR PETER. There now--you are going on--you don't perceive[,]

my Life, that you are just doing the very thing my Love which you know always makes me angry.

LADY TEAZLE. Nay--you know if you will be angry without any reason-- my Dear----

SIR PETER. There now you want to quarrel again.

LADY TEAZLE. No--I am sure I don't--but if you will be so peevish----

SIR PETER. There--now who begins first?

LADY TEAZLE. Why you to be sure--I said nothing[--]but there's no bearing your Temper.

SIR PETER. No--no--my dear--the fault's in your own temper.

LADY TEAZLE. Aye you are just what my Cousin Sophy said you would be--

SIR PETER. Your Cousin Sophy--is a forward impertinent Gipsey--

LADY TEAZLE. Go you great Bear--how dare you abuse my Relations--

SIR PETER. Now may all the Plagues of marriage be doubled on me, if ever I try to be Friends with you any more----

LADY TEAZLE. So much the Better.

SIR PETER. No--no Madam 'tis evident you never cared a pin for me-- I was a madman to marry you--

LADY TEAZLE. And I am sure I was a Fooll to marry you--an old dangling Batchelor, who was single of [at] fifty--only because He never could meet with any one who would have him.

SIR PETER. Aye--aye--Madam--but you were pleased enough to listen to me--you never had such an offer before--

LADY TEAZLE. No--didn't I refuse Sir Jeremy Terrier--who everybody said would have been a better Match--for his estate is just as good as yours--and he has broke his Neck since we have been married!

SIR PETER. I have done with you Madam! You are an unfeeling-- ungrateful--but there's an end of everything--I believe you capable of anything that's bad--Yes, Madam--I now believe the Reports relative to you and Charles--Madam--yes--Madam--you and Charles are-- not without grounds----

LADY TEAZLE. Take--care Sir Peter--you had better not insinuate any such thing! I'll not be suspected without cause I promise you----

SIR PETER. Very--well--Madam--very well! a separate maintenance-- as soon as you Please. Yes Madam or a Divorce--I'll make an example of myself for the Benefit of all old Batchelors--Let us separate, Madam.

LADY TEAZLE. Agreed--agreed--and now--my dear Sir Peter we are of a mind again, we may be the happiest couple--and never differ again, you know--ha! ha!--Well you are going to be in a Pa.s.sion I see--and I shall only interrupt you--so, bye! bye! hey-- young Jockey try'd and countered.

[Exit.]

SIR PETER. Plagues and tortures! She pretends to keep her temper, can't I make her angry neither! O! I am the miserable fellow!

But I'll not bear her presuming to keep her Temper--No she may break my Heart--but she shan't keep her Temper.

[Exit.]

SCENE II.--At CHARLES's House

Enter TRIP, MOSES, and SIR OLIVER

TRIP. Here Master Moses--if you'll stay a moment--I'll try whether Mr.----what's the Gentleman's Name?

SIR OLIVER. Mr.----Moses--what IS my name----

MOSES. Mr. Premium----

TRIP. Premium--very well.

[Exit TRIP--taking snuff.]

SIR OLIVER. To judge by the Servants--one wouldn't believe the master was ruin'd--but what--sure this was my Brother's House----

MOSES. Yes Sir Mr. Charles bought it of Mr. Joseph with the Furniture, Pictures, &c.--just as the old Gentleman left it-- Sir Peter thought it a great peice of extravagance in him.

SIR OLIVER. In my mind the other's economy in selling it to him was more reprehensible by half.----

Enter TRIP

TRIP. My Master[,] Gentlemen[,] says you must wait, he has company, and can't speak with you yet.

SIR OLIVER. If he knew who it was wanted to see him, perhaps he wouldn't have sent such a Message.

TRIP. Yes--yes--Sir--He knows you are here--I didn't forget little Premium--no--no----

SIR OLIVER. Very well--and pray Sir what may be your Name?

TRIP. Trip Sir--my Name is Trip, at your Service.

SIR OLIVER. Well then Mr. Trip--I presume your master is seldom without company----

TRIP. Very seldom Sir--the world says ill-natured things of him but 'tis all malice--no man was ever better beloved--Sir he seldom sits down to dinner without a dozen particular Friends----

SIR OLIVER. He's very happy indeed--you have a pleasant sort of Place here I guess?

TRIP. Why yes--here are three or four of us pa.s.s our time agreeably enough--but then our wages are sometimes a little in arrear--and not very great either--but fifty Pounds a year and find our own Bags and Bouquets----

SIR OLIVER. Bags and Bouquets!--Halters and Bastinadoes! [Aside.]

TRIP. But a propos Moses--have you been able to get me that little Bill discounted?

SIR OLIVER. Wants to raise money too!--mercy on me! has his distresses, I warrant[,] like a Lord--and affects Creditors and Duns!

[Aside.]