The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Part 11

For Caesar first Dione does appear, Pallas and Mars with his huge brandisht spear; Phbe and Phbus too for Caesar came, And with Cyllenius, to fill the train, Alcides went, in all his acts the same.

The trumpets sound, when from the Stygian shade Wild Discord raises her disorder'd head; From whose swoln eyes there ran a briny flood, And blood congeal'd otre all her visage stood; Her hideous rows of brazen teeth were furr'd, A filthy gore there issu'd from her tongue, With snaky locks her guarded head was hung; Rent and divided did her garb betray The image of the breast on which it lay; And brandisht flames her trembling hand obey.

Thus from h.e.l.l's deeps she past with dire design, Up to the top of n.o.ble Appennine, From whose proud height she all the world descri'd, Earth, seas, and armies march on every side, And bursting out at length, with fury cry'd, Let murderous rage the world to arms inspire, That every nation may appear a fire: No age or s.e.x shall from the war be free, No subtle fear be a security.

The earth it self shall tremble, and the shock Make mountains cleft against each other knock.

Marcellus guide the laws, Curior the crowd, Let Lentulus inspire the warlike G.o.d.

But why is't Caesar such slow measures takes?

Not scale the walls? Nor force th' aspiring gates, Nor to the town, nor to the treasure makes?

At Rome, if Pompey fears th' approaching foe, Let him to fatal Epid.a.m.num go: Fill all its plains with blood. Thus Discord said, And impious earth her black decrees obey'd."

When Eumolpus, with his usual freedom, had deliver'd himself of this, we arrived at Crotona, where having refresht our selves in a little inn, we took up at the next day, designing an enlargement of our house and fortune, we fell into the company of some parasitical Corbacchio's who immediately enquir'd what we were and whence we came? When, according to our contrivance, prudently advancing our characters, we told the credulous parasites whence we came, and who we were. Upon which, immediately all their fortunes were at Eumolpus's feet, and each, to ingratiate himself into his favour, strove to exceed the rest in presenting him.

While this flood of fortune was for a long time flowing on us, Eumolpus, 'midst his happiness, having lost the memory of his former condition, so boasted his interest, that he affirm'd none in Crotona cou'd resist his desires; and that what e're crime any of us shou'd act, he had friends enough to wipe off the guilt.

But, tho' our daily increasing riches, left my pamper'd body no desire unsatisfy'd; and tho' I flatter'd my self into an opinion that ill fortune had taken her last leave of me, yet not only the thoughts of my present condition, but the means of getting to 't, wou'd oft break in upon my joys, and bitter all the sweet. "And what," said I to myself, "if some one, wiser than the rest, shou'd dispatch a messenger for Africk; shou'd not we soon be discover'd? What if the slave Eumolpus, pickt up, glutted with his present happiness, shou'd betray us to his companions, and maliciously discover the whole cheat? We should then be put upon the strole again, and be oblig'd with shame to renew our former beggary. Heavens, how ill it fares with wicked lives! they ever expect the punishment they deserve."

Going out full of these thoughts to divert my concern, I resolv'd on a walk, but I had scarce got into a publick one, e're a pretty girl made up to me, and calling me Polyaemus, told me her lady wou'd be proud of an opportunity to speak with me.

"You're mistaken, sweet-heart," return'd I, in a little heat, "I'm but a servant, of another country too, and not worthy of so great a favour."

"No, sir," said she, "I have commands to you; but because you know what you can do, you're proud; and if a lady wou'd receive a favour from you, I see she must buy it: For to what end are all those allurements, forsooth? the curl'd hair, the complexion advanc'd by a wash, and the wanton roll of your eyes, the study'd air of your gate?

unless by shewing your parts, to invite a purchaser? For my part I am neither a witch, nor a conjurer, yet can guess at a man by his physiognomy. And when I find a spark walking, I know his contemplation. To be short, sir, if so be you are one of them that sell their ware, I'll procure you a merchant; but if you're a courteous lender, confer the benefit. As for your being a servant, and below, as you say, such a favour, it increases the flames of her that's dying for you. 'Tis the wild extravagance of some women to be in love with filth, nor can be rais'd to an appet.i.te but by the charms, forsooth of some slave or lacquy; some can be pleased with nothing but the strutting of a prize-fighter with a hackt-face, and a red ribbon in his shirt: Or an actor betray'd to prost.i.tute himself on th' stage, by the vanity of showing his pretty shapes there; of this sort is my lady; who indeed," added she, "prefers the paultry lover of the upper gallery, with his dirty face, and oaken staff, to all the fine gentlemen of the boxes, with their patches, gunpowder-spots, and tooth-pickers." When pleas'd with the humour of her talk, "I beseech you, child," said I, "are you the she that's so in love with my person?" Upon which the maid fell into a fit of laughing. "I wou'd not," return'd she, "have you so extreamly flatter your self. I never yet truckl'd to a waiter, nor will Venus allow I shou'd imbrace a gibbet. You must address your self to ladies that kiss the ensigns of slavery; be a.s.sur'd that I, though a servant, have too fine a taste to converse with any below a knight." I was amaz'd at the relation of such unequal pa.s.sions, and thought it miraculous to find a servant, with the scornful pride of a lady, and a lady with the humility of a servant.

Our pleasant discourse continuing, I desir'd her to bring her lady: she readily consented, and taking hold of her petticoats, tript it into a lawrel labyrinth, that border'd on the walk; 'twas not long e're she usher'd her lady to me; a beauty excelling even the flattery of painters; words can't express so perfect a creature; whatever I shou'd say of her wou'd fall short of what she was. Her hair spread all o're her shoulders, and seem'd in easie curls to wanton in the air. Her forehead oval, and that naturally inclin'd the hair to its advantage. The proportion of her eye-brows was most correct. Her eyes eclypst the glory of the brightest star. Her nose had an easie turn, and mouth was such Pragiteless believ'd Venus had. Then her chin, her neck, her arms, and feet, gently girt with embroider'd sandals, to whose whiteness the Parian marble wou'd serve but as a foil. 'Twas then I began to despise my old mistress Doris. And thus broke out:

"Sure amorous Jove's a holy tale above; With fancy'd arts that wait upon his love, When we are blest with such a charm as this, And he no rival of our happiness: How well the bull wou'd now the G.o.d become: Or his grey-hairs to be transform'd to down?

Here's Danae's self, a touch from her wou'd fire And make the G.o.d in liquid joys expire."

She was pleas'd, and smil'd with such an air, that, she seem'd like the moon in all her glories breaking through a cloud, when addressing her self, her pretty fingers humouring the turn of her voice, "If a fine woman, and that but this year, has been acquaint'd with a man,"

said she, "may deserve your love, let me commend a mistress to you. I am sensible you have a comrade already, nor have I thought it below me to inquire it: But why not a mistress too? I enter the list on the same bottom with your comrade; nor do I desire to engross all the caresses; only think me deserving, and confer them as you please."

"Let me beseech you, madam," return'd I, "by all those cupids in your face and meen, not to scorn to admit a stranger into the number of your admirers. You'l find him most religious, if you accept his devotions, and that you shou'd not suspect I believe the way to this heaven, unlike all others, may be trod gratis, I present you with my comrade."

"What?" said she, "do you give him without whom you cou'd not live?

On whose lips your very being hangs? Whom you so love, as I cou'd you." Her words were attended with such a grace at their delivery, and the sweet sound so, charm'd the yielding air, you wou'd have sworne some syren had been breathing melodies. Thus rapt with every thing so amazing, and fancying a glory shin'd in every part, I ventur'd to enquire what name the G.o.ddess own'd? "My maid, I perceive," said she, "has not inform'd you, I am call'd Circe; I would not have you believe tho, I bear that name, that I derive my original from Apollo; nor that my mother, while she lay in the G.o.d's imbraces, held the fiery steeds: Yet I shall know enough of heaven, if fate will give you to my arms. And who knows the dark decrees? Therefore come, my dear, and crown my wishes. Nor need you fear any malicious disturbance of our joys. Your comrade is far enough from hence."

Upon which she threw her downy arms about me, and led me to a plat of ground, the pride of nature, deckt with a gay variety of every pleasing object.

On Ida's top, when Jove his nymph carest, And lawless in open view exprest: His Mother Earth in all her charms was seen, The rose, the violet, the sweet jessamin, And the fair lily smiling on the green.

Such was the plat on which my Venus lay, But secret our love, more glorious the day, When all around was bright, and as the nymph as gay.

Here we prepar'd for battel, and through ten thousand kisses prest to a closer engagement; but a sudden weakness rob'd me of my arms. Thus cheated in her expectations, she highly resenting it, asks whether her lips, her breath, or some ill scent of any part of her, offended me.

Or, if none of those, whether I fear'd Gito?

I was so asham'd of my self, that if there was any spark of the man left in me, I lost it. And finding every part of me feeble, and as it were lifeless: "I beseech you, madam," said I, "don't triumph over my misery; I'm surely bewitcht."

So slight an excuse could not allay her resentment, but giving me a disdainful glance, she turn'd to her maid, and, "I prithee Chrysis,"

said she, "be free with me, don't flatter your mistress. Is there any thing misbecoming or ungentle about me? Or have I us'd art to hide any natural deformity? I don't know how you've drest me to-day."

Upon which, e're Chrysis cou'd make a return, she s.n.a.t.c.ht a pocket-gla.s.s from her, and after she had practis'd all her looks, to try if any appear'd less charming than before, she took hold of her petticoats that were a little rumpled with lying on, and immediately ran to a neighbouring temple dedicated to Venus.

I could not tell what to say or do, but as if I had seen a vision, at last began with horror to consider whether I had been rob'd of any real joy.

So when a dream our wandring eyes betrays, And to our side some hidden gold conveys; Our busie hands the inviting treasure seize, And hid in guilty folds the fancy'd prize.

Sweating we fear lest any conscious spy, Might search our bosom, and the theft descry.

But with our sieep when all our joys are o're, And minds restor'd to what they were before, Concern'd, we wish the fancy'd loss regain'd, And with the image still are entertain'd.

This misfortune might make me justly think it not only a true vision, but real witchcraft; for I had so long lost my strength I cou'd not rise: My mind at last, a little freed, began by degrees to recover its vigour, upon which I went to my lodging, and dissembling a faintness, lay down on the bed. A little after Gito, being inform'd I was ill, came to me, much troubl'd; but to allay his concern, I told him I was only a little weary, and had a mind for a nap. Several things I talkt to him of, but not a word of my last adventure, for I was afraid because I knew he envy'd every one that had a charm for me, and to prevent his suspicion, throwing my arms about him, I endeavour'd to give a proof of my love; but disappointed of the expectation I had rais'd him to, he rose very angry from my side, and accusing my weakness, and strange behaviour to him, told me that of late he had found my chief favours were bestow'd in another's arms.

"My love to you, Gito," said I, "has ever been the same, but now my dancing-days submit to reason."

"Therefore," said he, laughing at me, "in the name of Socrates, I thank you, because like him, you propose to love me: Alcibiades, Encolpius, did not rise a virgin from that philosopher's side."

"Then," added I, "believe me, Gito, I hardly know I've any thing of man about me, how useless lyes the terrible part, where once I was Achilles."

When he found how unfit I was to confer the favours he wanted, and to prevent suspicion, of his privacy with me, he jumpt up and ran to another part of the house.

He was hardly gone, e're Chrysis enter'd my chamber, and gave me a billet from her mistress, in which I found this written:

"Had I rais'd my expectation, I might deceiv'd complain; now I'm obliged to your impotence, that has made me sensible how much too long I have trifl'd with mistaken hopes of pleasure. Tell me, sir, how you design to bestow your self, and whether you dare rashly venture home on your own legs? for no physician ever allow'd it cou'd be done without strength. Let me advise your tender years to beware of a palsie: I never saw any body in such danger before. On my conscience you are just going! and shou'd the same rude chilliness seize your other parts, I might be soon, alas! put upon the severe trial of weeping at your funeral. But if you would not suspect me of not being sincere, tho' my resentment can't equal the injury, yet I shall not envy the cure of a weak unhappy wretch. If you wou'd recover your strength, ask Gito, or rather not ask him for't--I can a.s.sure a return of your vigour if you cou'd sleep three nights alone: As to myself I am not in the least apprehensive of appearing to another less charming than I have to you. I am told neither my gla.s.s nor report does flatter me. Farewell, if you can."

When Chrysis found I had read the reproach, "This is the custom, sir,"

said she, "and chiefly of this city, where the women are skill'd in magick-charms, enough to make the moon confess their power, therefore the recovery of any useful instrument of love becomes their care; 'tis only writing some soft tender things to my lady, and you make her happy in a kind return. For 'tis confest, since her disappointment, she has not been her self." I readily consented, and calling for paper, thus addrest myself:

"'Tis confest, madam, I have often sinned, for I'm not only a man, but a very young one, yet never left the field so dishonourably before.

You have at your feet a confessing criminal, that deserves whatever you inflict: I have cut a throat, betray'd my country, committed sacrilege; if a punishment for any of these will serve, I am ready to receive sentence. If you fancy my death, I wait you with my sword; but if a beating will content you, I fly naked to your arms. Only remember, that 'twas not the workman, but his instruments that fail'd: I was ready to engage, but wanted arms. Who rob'd me of them I know not; perhaps my eager mind outrun my body; or while with an unhappy haste I aim'd at all; I was cheated with abortive joys. I only know I don't know what I've done: You bid me fear a palsie, as if the diseast cou'd do greater that has already rob'd me of that, by which I shou'd have purchas'd you. All I have to say for my self, is this, that I will certainly pay with interest the arrears of love, if you allow me time to repair my misfortune."

Having sent back Chrysis with this answer, to encourage my jaded body after the bath and strengthening oyles, had a little rais'd me, I apply'd my self to strong meats, such as strong broths and eggs, using wine very moderately; upon which to settle my self, I took a little walk, and returning to my chamber, slept that night without Gito; so great was my care to acquit my self honourably with my mistress, that I was afraid he might have tempted my constancy, by tickling my side.

The next day rising without prejudice, either to my body or spirits, I went, tho' I fear'd the place was ominous, to the same walk, and expected Chrysis to conduct me to her mistress; I had not been long there, e're she came to me, and with her a little old woman. After she had saluted me, "What, my nice Sir Courtly," said she, "does your stomach begin to come to you?"

At what time, the old woman, drawing from her bosome, a wreath of many colours, bound my neck; and having mixt spittle and dust, she dipt her finger in't, and markt my fore-head, whether I wou'd or not.

When this part of the charm was over, she made me spit thrice, and as often prest to my bosom enchanted stones, that she had wrapt in purple; Admotisque manibus temptare coepit inguinum vives. Dicto citius nervi paruerunt imperio ma.n.u.sque aniculae ingenti motu repleverunt. At illa gaudio exsultans, "vides," inquit, "Chrysis mea, vides quod aliis leporem excitavi?"

Never despair; Priapus I invoke To help the parts that make his altars smoke.

After this, the old woman presented me to Chrysis; who was very glad she had recover'd her mistress's treasure; and therefore hastening to her, she conducted me to a most pleasant retreat, deckt with all that nature cou'd produce to please the sight.

Where lofty plains o're-spread a summer shade, And well-trimm'd pines their shaking tops display'd, Where Daphne 'midst the cyprus crown'd her head.

Near these, a circling river gently flows, And rolls the pebbles as it murmuring goes; A place design'd for love, the nightingale And other wing'd inhabitants can tell.

That on each bush salute the coming day, And in their orgyes sing its hours away.

She was in an undress, reclining on a flowry bank, and diverting her self with a myrtle branch; as soon as I appear'd, she blusht, as mindful of her disappointment: Chrysis, very prudently withdrew, and when we were left together, I approacht the temptation; at what time, she skreen'd my face with the myrtle, and as if there had been a wall between us, becoming more bold; "what, my chill'd spark," began she, "have you brought all your self to day?"

"Do you ask, madam," I return'd, "rather than try?" And throwing my self to her, that with open arms was eager to receive me, we kist a little age away; when giving the signal to prepare for other joys, she drew me to a more close imbrace; and now, our murmuring kisses their sweet fury tell; now, our twining limbs, try'd each fold of love; now, lockt in each others arms, our bodies and our souls are join'd; but even here, alas! even amidst these sweet beginnings, a sudden chilliness prest upon my joys, and made me leave 'em not compleat.

Circe, enrag'd to be so affronted, had recourse to revenge, and calling the grooms that belong'd to the house, made them give me a warming; nor was she satisfi'd with this, but calling all the servant-wenches, and meanest of the house, she made 'em spit upon me.

I hid my head as well as I cou'd, and, without begging pardon, for I knew what I had deserv'd, am turn'd out of doors, with a large retinue of kicks and spittle: Proselenos, the old woman was turn'd out too, and Chrysis beaten; and the whole family wondering with themselves, enquir'd the cause of their lady's disorder.

I hid my bruises as well as I cou'd, lest my rival Eumolpus might sport with my shame, or Gito be concern'd at it; therefore as the only way to disguise my misfortune, I began to dissemble sickness, and having got in bed, to revenge my self of that part of me, that had been the cause of all my misfortunes; when taking hold of it,