The Saracen: The Holy War - novelonlinefull.com
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He kept his face turned. "Yes."
"You did not want me to make love to him."
"Yes."
She stood in the center of the room, about ten paces from him, her hands clasped before her. Her shawl and her gown were cold and wet. A net of small pearls held her hair in place, but her hair, too, was sodden with rain. She felt on the verge of shivering, but she held herself very still.
White light filled the room. David's body jerked, and his lips tightened. A long, rolling peal of thunder followed the lightning, ending in a crash so loud it hurt her head.
He was afraid of thunderstorms. She had noticed that before. There was little rain in the part of the world where he had grown up. He was afraid of nothing else, as far as she could see. There was nothing he would not do, nothing he _could_ not do. If only he were Greek, what a fighter for the Polis he would be.
But when he winced away from the lightning, she wanted to cradle his blond head against her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
The rain beat down on the walls and roof of Ugolini's mansion with redoubled intensity. She saw a small pool of water on the wood floor, rain blown in through the open window.
"I never did make love to him," she said, raising her voice to be heard over the wind and rain.
"I know that." He took a step toward her.
_I am doing worse than that now_, she thought with a stab of guilt. _I am keeping from David something he would badly want to know._
"He put his arms around me and kissed me many times," she said.
David turned fully to look at her, saying nothing.
"Whenever he took me in his arms, I thought of you."
He closed his eyes.
When she was with David she never grieved over the turns her life had taken. She never felt sorry for herself, as she did with Simon, because she had not married and could not marry. Simon had actually said he wanted to marry her, and in the end she had believed him. That seemed like a dream now. A pleasant dream, but an impossible one.
For an instant she tried to picture herself, a woman of Constantinople wed to a Frankish lord and living in a castle in the north of France. If such a preposterous thing should come about, she would be enormously wealthy and powerful--though she had not really thought about that when she was with Simon. She was not herself when she was with Simon. And now, when she _was_ herself and able to see things clearly, the wealth and power still did not matter, because they would give her no pleasure if she had to live among barbarians.
When she was with David she never worried or even thought about her future, what life would be like for her when she was older. With David she thought only of now.
He had opened his eyes and was staring at her. She looked at him, standing tall and fair.
_I love you, David. I want you so._
Why had it not happened? Soon it would be a year since they had met at Lucera, and she had long known that she wanted him, and believed that he wanted her as well. But something had always held him back.
Her body grew warm inside her cold garments.
_It is not because of me that we have waited this long._
There was a question in his eyes, and she felt something inside her pulling her toward him. She took a faltering step across the tile floor.
Then another, surer one.
He held out his arms, his harsh mouth softening as his lips parted slightly.
"Come to me," he said.
He watched her walking toward him one step at a time, and he thought she looked like a woman in a trance. Her head was lifted to receive his kiss.
"How like rose petals your lips are," he said in Greek. He had never spoken Greek to her before. She stopped her slow march toward him and gave a long, shuddering sigh.
Then she ran the last few steps and threw herself into his arms. Joy flooded his chest as he pulled her against him.
_At last, at last, at last!_
He had wanted to hold her like this for so long, and much of the time had not even been aware that he wanted it.
He had not wanted to be aware of it, he thought, knowing that he must use her against his enemy. And how he had hated Simon de Gobignon simply because Simon was to have Sophia.
_I should have known then that my hatred for de Gobignon was a measure of my love for her._
But he had not wanted to know that either, because Blossoming Reed, the daughter of the sultan, awaited him in El Kahira, and he had sworn to be faithful to her all his life.
_Take as many women as you like. But love always and only me._
He felt a chill, and realized that he was feeling cold not merely because of the memory of Blossoming Reed's warning, but because Sophia was rain-wet against him. She had ridden through the storm still thundering away outside, and he felt a cold dampness soaking through his gown.
"Your clothes are wet," he said, continuing to speak Greek.
She rubbed herself against him. "I am wet to the skin. I need to take these clothes off."
"Yes. Why not do that?"
Without hesitation she stepped out of the circle of his arms and undid the brooch that held her printed shawl around her shoulders. She would not be shy, he realized. There had not been time, in the life she had led, for hesitation with men. Only, he hoped that she would not, like some of the experienced women he had known, show little feeling herself while she let him use her in any way that pleased him.
_She is not that sort. I know it._
Foolish of him to even think it. But some part of him needed to doubt.
This moment was too good to be true.
And too frightening. Because what they were about to do was not just satisfy their bodies' hungers; it would seal the bond of love between them. And then he would not be able to send Sophia like a falcon to strike at his enemies. He would not be the same man when he went back to Blossoming Reed. What they were about to do would change both their lives.
Standing in the crumpled heap of orange and green silk that was her shawl, she turned her back to him.
"Help me with the laces," she said. He saw that her gown laced down the back.
"One small moment," he said, running his hand caressingly over her back.
He walked to the door. There was still pain in his right thigh when he moved quickly, but now it was overwhelmed by his body's yearning to have this woman. He felt the swelling and pressure of arousal in his loins.
He opened the door of his room partway and looked up and down the shadowy corridor. There was no one in sight. He closed the door firmly and slid home the heavy iron bolt that would guarantee their privacy.
She was standing where he had left her, watching him, her amber eyes warm. He went quickly to her and untied the knot in the laces at her back, marveling at the slenderness of her neck. She could have unlaced the dress herself, he saw, but she wanted him to.