The Ruby Riot Series: Box Set Part 73

"No?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

Will lies next to me again and pulls me closer, the return of his warmth lulling me towards sleep. "Be part of this. You're in my life; I don't want Ruby Riot Will to be different to your Will."

"Both Wills are the same to me. Really, I'm don't want to go." I yawn. "Sorry."

"Wait backstage. We can do something later."

"Backstage? I definitely don't know whether I want to do that." Nate. Jax. Ruby. People a world away from mine.

"Well, think about it." I wriggle as he smothers my face in kisses. "I want you there."

I push him away and pull the duvet over my head. "Fine! But I'm tired after last night."

Will pulls the duvet down and rests his lips on my forehead before placing the soft material back over me. I snuggle back down; the house is cold and I'm not keen on getting out of bed yet. When I hear my bedroom door close, I'm surprised Will never said goodbye.

Half asleep, I'm aware of movement in the room again. I open an eye when somebody sits on the bed and takes hold of my hand.

"What are you doing?" I ask as Will writes something on my palm.

He doesn't respond and, too tired to move, I allow him. "In case you forget before I see you tonight."

I pull my hand away with a loud sigh. "If I go."

When I wake, Will has left with the part of my heart I gave to him last night. I attempt to push thoughts of us aside; I won't be one of those girls who brood over a guy every minute of every day.

I catch sight of the words on my palm, written in thick black pen and realise how much of his he's given in return.

'I love you.'

I relent. Later that afternoon I shower; my body aches from my night with Will, and arousal streams back through me at the thoughts and images of us together. I soap my hands and guilt washes over me that I'm wiping away Will's words.

Apart from I can't.

I scrub at the words but they stare back at me. Black. Spiked. Will's letters.

As I dress for the night, Will texts me with the time he'll drop by to pick me up. I text him back.

I shake my head, body filling with the already building desire to be back with him. Will is away again next week, already our time is split between his future and mine, but I push away the thought. I'm going to live for now, and see what our future holds.

32.

FLEUR.

Ruby Riot plays an intimate venue tonight, the theatre a similar size to the last time I saw them. This time I'm more nervous because Will insists I join him backstage before the band performs. I'm unsure if I'm ready to become part of his entourage.

Talk about out of my depth.

When we arrive, Jax and Nate are lounging on the sofa, feet on the table drinking beer. I hover in the doorway until Will shoves me into the room. Jax looks up, the startling blue eyes arresting me as they did backstage last time. This man is a publicist's dream, and judging by what Will's told me about his ego, their nightmare too. Jax and the twins' ability to broadcast their raw s.e.xuality leads to a promise, girls fantasise over. A promise I can attest lives up to the hype.

Nate looks at Will's fingers gripping mine, then away, and Jax lifts his bottle in salute. "Hey, Fleur! Will said you were joining us."

"Hey."

Nate mutters a h.e.l.lo too and stands to fetch another beer. "Want one?" he asks us.

"No. Thanks."

Nate throws Will a beer. "Shame Tegan isn't around or you could've watched with her. Someone to talk to."

"She's on her way. Just finished work," says Jax.

I nod and brush my short dress into place. Why do I feel like I'm meeting Will's parents?

"What do you think about the new alb.u.m?" asks Nate.

"I like it."

"Yeah? What's your favourite track?"

"Consume," I shoot back. He's trying to catch me out. "I hope you're playing that one tonight."

"Probably. You staying all night?" asks Nate. "We might be busy later. Me and Will had plans."

"I told you I was out with Fleur tonight."

"Yeah, after we arranged the night at Blue Room."

"You can still go."

"She could come?" Then he looks at me. "Yeah, maybe not."

"What does that mean?" Will asks.

Nate shrugs. "Nothing."

"I'm gonna spend time with Fleur. We haven't seen much of each other recently."

"Sweet," mutters Nate and stands.

He walks to the door and I step to one side as he says, "Don't hold out on him. He won't hang around. I know my brother better than you."

I meet his eyes in challenge, now aware how people who know the twins well could tell them apart before the hairstyle change. Something in Nate's demeanour is distinct. Subtle differences in his expression, how he holds himself.

"Will already changed himself for her!" calls Jax with a laugh. "Look at his hair."

I glance at Will, expecting him to retort, but he rests against the wall, drinking.

As Nate leaves the room, Will follows.

WILL.

"What's your deal, man?" I call after my brother.

Nate halts and turns. "No idea what you mean."

"Fleur. Why are you f.u.c.king rude to her all the time?"

"I'm not."

"Bulls.h.i.t."

Nate scratches the corner of his eye. "I don't think she's good for you. You've nothing in common, and the way you wander around after her all starry-eyed is pathetic. You screwed her yet?"

"None of your business."

Nate snorts. "That's a no? Good luck. Even if she does, bet she won't be enough for you. Has she ever seen a c.o.c.k before?"

"That's out of order, Nate. And what the h.e.l.l does who I screw matter to you, as long as she's not your girl?"

"I don't have a girl."

"Maybe you should."

"Seriously, dude?" He waves his hand around. "This! One by one, you morons are falling into relationships that are bad for you! If she breaks your pathetic, love-struck heart, you won't cope. Seen it before. That s.h.i.t is a waste of energy." He pauses. "This whatever you have with her doesn't suit you."

Realisation crashes through my irritation. "No, it doesn't suit you."

Nate makes a derisive noise. "I don't give a f.u.c.k. Once the novelty is done with, she'll find a squeaky-clean guy to settle down and have her beautiful children with. Someone like her won't put up with someone like you."

"My life. My problem."

"Have you ever stopped to ask yourself the question though?" he asks.

Yeah, I have but why think hard about something? Let life happen. "Is this about Charlotte?"

"Don't mention her f.u.c.king name."

"I thought you were over her?"

"I am. I'm warning you not to get caught up in s.h.i.t with girls and end up treated like c.r.a.p."

"You ended things with Charlotte, not her."

"I had my reasons." Nate's mouth thins. "Enjoy girls, don't stick to one. Believe me, life's better this way."

"I did, I tried. I'm happier with Fleur."

"For now. I thought we were having fun together, man. Living the dream."

"When we were at school, you pretty much kicked me to one side because you spent your whole life with Charlotte!"

"Like I said, I was stupid."

"You were eighteen. We're nearly twenty-two now. Get over this c.r.a.p."

"Whatever. Fleur hated you two months ago. One day she'll wake up and realise how wrong you are for her."

As Nate walks away, I chew my lip. Nate's moodiness p.i.s.ses me off and I've seen this before. He's jealous because I have the shiny thing he wants. Not Fleur, but a loving relationship he denies he does. Since the day he and Charlotte broke up, Nate's never been with a girl longer than five minutes. Sometimes literally.

When they were together, I couldn't understand how he could spend so much time with Charlotte. We were seventeen and he already had his life full of music. Jax didn't like her because she distracted him from the band; and at one point, Nate threatened to leave. I saw Jax's point, Ruby Riot was becoming noticed around the time we left Oxford, and Nate's distraction interfered.

By the time we left for London, it didn't matter. Nate and Charlotte's relationship ended after almost two years and he never mentioned her name again.

My teasing Nate about Charlotte has come full circle, as I have the brunt of his taunts over Fleur now. My teasing back then is also the reason he's never told me what happened, and why we never discuss his dark days in the weeks that followed.

33.

FLEUR.

Sitting alone in the Green Room instead of watching the performance wouldn't be right, and would give Nate some ammunition against me. Despite telling Will I don't like the band, the last time I watched them, I understood the hype and was forced to admit I enjoyed that night. Up until a certain point. The real issue I have is the last time I watched Ruby Riot, I paid more attention to the drummer and this is a reminder of Will's earlier lies.

I push aside the memory and watch from the side seats.

The reason for the band's success is obvious. Concerts I've watched in the past have been stage-managed shows filled with special effects. Costume changes and dance troupes created a spectacle detracting from the musical performance. Ruby Riot doesn't need this. Their raw talent plays out against a backdrop of lighting effects and nothing more.