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Gradually, Tegan relaxes and eventually takes my hand again. The longer we sit here, the more on the edge of the guys' lives I feel, like a little kid dismissed by his superiors. I never noticed before; Jem's always been a bit of a douche around me and Bryn has his reasons, but Liam and Dylan don't have the time of day. Maybe they're more up their own backsides than I realised.
"You want to sit somewhere else?" I ask Tegan, helping her finish her chips.
"Aren't Will and Nate coming tonight?"
"Nah. They've been in a bar in Pigalle since lunch time; I doubt they'll move from there now." I stroke her hair, willing her to say she'll leave with me because all I want to do is discover if my announcement equals bed.
"You didn't go with them?"
"Oh, yeah. For a couple of hours, but word spread we were there, and I couldn't be a.r.s.ed with the attention."
She stiffens. "Female attention?"
"Media." I pause. "Plus, I wanted to talk to Bryn."
She glances at the others. "Come with me, I want to talk to you."
Tegan leads me to a quiet corner, behind a pillar at the edge of the bar and I carry our drinks over. My experience of figuring out how women's minds work is limited. Who knows if she's happy or not with my decision to announce our hook-up to her brother.
"That was brave of you," she says quietly. "Possibly stupid, but brave."
"Does it change anything?"
Her face softens and she touches my face and I curl my fingers around her hand. "You know that you didn't only tell Bryn, but the whole of the room."
"And? I meant what I said this morning, Tegan. I like you and I don't care who knows." I wrap an arm around her slender waist, eager for her mouth. "Do you?"
"Are you sure about this?" she whispers.
"Do you really need to ask me that question?" I brush my lips against hers and she parts them slightly. "I want you."
In response, Tegan pushes her mouth onto mine, surprising me as she swipes her tongue along my lip. As her curves press into me, the awareness of the rest of the room vanishes. All that exists and matters is the girl in my arms, whose kiss unites me with a part of myself I crave to know better. She tastes of champagne and sweetness, of the girl who's stolen my ability to make rational decisions. Here, with her, is where I want to be. Kissing her wakens the part of me I was killing with random hook-ups, a part of me aching to discover what s.e.x with Tegan would be like.
She gently untangles my fingers from where they're gripping her hair and slides her mouth from mine. The sound around re-enters my awareness, but my focus is on the pink-faced girl looking back at me with darkened eyes.
"We should leave," she says.
"Good idea."
"I'll be back in a few minutes." Her lips briefly meet mine and she weaves her way through the tables, the heat she just ignited growing as I watch her a.s.s in the oh-so-tight jeans of hers.
Bryn approaches and I steel myself. I'm in public; he has to deal with this calmly. I attempt to gauge the thoughts held behind his dark brown eyes as the tall man's physical presence takes up the s.p.a.ce around us.
"How much have you had to drink, Jax?" asks Bryn, indicating my gla.s.s. "That was quite a move you pulled there."
"Just a few this afternoon. About the same number as you, I think."
He pauses long enough for the perspiration to build along my back. "You and Tegan, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." He lowers his voice. "You do realise that if you hurt Tegan things will be very unpleasant for you."
I gesture at the people around. "I shared the fact I'm with a chick, who she is, and that it's exclusive. I wouldn't do that if Tegan wasn't something to me."
Bryn's mouth tips at one corner. "I'd be heavier handed with you, but you're about to learn a valuable lesson on your own."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What you just did? You're public property now, man, and I can't wait to see how Tegan deals with that. You should know by now that she doesn't take s.h.i.t from people. You might be the one getting hurt."
"We don't care what people think!"
"You say that now. I never had as much s.h.i.t from the press as them." He indicates Dylan and Jem. "Early on, when I did stupid c.r.a.p, yeah, but not recently. I'm never under the spotlight, and never hit the headlines. You, my friend, are deep in it."
"Yeah, I get it, I'm on their radar."
Bryn c.o.c.ks a brow. "You're dating the Blue Phoenix drummer's sister. That's quite a story. You know what's a better story?" I shake my head. "You getting caught with someone else and the Blue Phoenix drummer ripping your b.a.l.l.s off."
"I just said -"
He laughs. "That wasn't a threat. Much. It won't be me you need to persuade, Jax. I call bulls.h.i.t on half the things printed about people I know, but Tegan may not. Reckon she can deal with you being randomly linked to other chicks? 'Cause I know her and she won't."
"I appreciate your concern for me, Bryn, but I'm fine." Tegan appears behind him and crosses to me. She cuddles next to me and winds an arm around my waist, placing her hand in the back pocket of my jeans and squeezing. "Jax understands: the first hint he's s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g me around and this is over. Besides, we're not b.l.o.o.d.y getting married, just being exclusive."
"Right." Bryn's voice is as doubtful as his eyes. "Good luck 'cause you're going to need it."
I stare after Bryn as he heads back to his friends. "That it?"
Tegan smiles and nuzzles my neck. "He's right though. I hope you know what you're getting into."
"Well, according to him, I don't."
"You know what we do, Jax?" Tegan slips her hand into my other pocket and pulls out my phone. "We control this. Me and you."
"How?"
"Take a picture of us. Tweet it. Instagram. Everywhere. I'll do the same. That way we'll steal the story before the paparazzi get hold of it. We'll already have given the world pictures they hope to sell. Why should they make money from being bottom feeders?"
"Are you sure you know what you're doing? You're not a PR expert."
"Despite what Tina thinks, I know a h.e.l.l of a lot about how this c.r.a.p works. My brother's job means I have a special interest in the media and fame. I wrote a paper on it for my A Levels and I'm intending to study media."
"Oh. Right. I forget you're smart as well as beautiful," I say and squeeze her a.s.s.
She smiles. "If I'm dating Jax Lewis, the world's going to know, and they should leave us the h.e.l.l alone."
"I don't think they'll want to mess with you!"
"I'd like to see them try."
As we laugh and aim my phone camera at our heads, pose and take pictures, unease edges in. A small voice in my head wonders if this is going to work.
Have I overestimated what I'm capable of?
23.
TEGAN.
Since I arrived on tour with Blue Phoenix and Ruby Riot, my life shifted gear. The world around blurs with the speed things move; my old reality left in the wake. Each day brings a new intensity as normality retreats.
As if life couldn't turn crazier, now I'm dating a rock star.
Jax told the room - and the world - that we're a couple. The thought repeats in my head, the tingling in my chest and stomach a mix of excitement and apprehension. I never believed he would, despite his words this morning, and I didn't expect him to choose to do this here. His words to Bryn sh.e.l.l-shocked me at first until I caught up with what this meant. Jax knocked a hole through my defences and with those words took hold of my heart. I can't deny I've fallen for him anymore.
Keen to ensure he's serious, and to show myself I am too, I suggested we shared a picture across social media. Somebody else in the room will by the end of tonight if we don't. I want a picture with Jax. I want the world to see I'm his and he's mine, and they should keep away.
The desire for Jax pushes through my body; a body that's now aching for his attention and touch. All my words about keeping a physical distance evaporate; each kiss we share harder to pull away from.
How can just a few words spoken by him to somebody else, not me, have such a huge impact?
Following Bryn's interruption, we shifted to a quieter corner near the edge of the bar and now stand with our drinks resting on the high wooden table. Jax has an arm around my waist, stroking my skin with his thumb beneath my t-shirt, and even this chaste touch is leading to distinctly unchaste reactions elsewhere. I have one hand in the back pocket of his jeans. The awareness of the rest of the room retreats with each look or touch and I don't want to let him go.
I bury my face into his shirt and place my lips on the exposed skin at the top of his chest. Closing my eyes, I breathe his scent, the one that evokes memories of our kisses and the promise of more held back each time.
"Are we staying or leaving?" he whispers in my ear.
I place one more kiss and step back. "Leaving to go where?"
"Wherever you want. A different place?" Jax pauses and tugs his bottom lip into his mouth. "Or the hotel?"
I fight a smile. "Oh, tired already?"
"No way. It's just more private there." I open my mouth to respond and he interrupts. "I mean less people around if we wanted to go to the bar - or something."
"Or something?"
Jax brushes his mouth against mine. "Or something."
I wrap myself around Jax, hand still in his back pocket, and crash my mouth on his. I haven't had much to drink, but the situation is intoxicating. I want him. For a few minutes, I forget that we're in public, hands on skin and deep kisses as we tangle our tongues and bodies.
"Whoa, man, how many times have I told you to get a room when you're all over a chick?" asks a voice from behind me.
Will's voice interrupts my moment with an unpleasant reminder and I pull away. When I turn my head to face him, Will's unfocused eyes widen.
"s.h.i.t. Sorry. Didn't realise it was you," he says.
"h.e.l.lo, Will," I say icily.
He continues to stare at us before wiping his jacket sleeve across his face. "I thought she was a secret? Guess it's not anymore!" Will's voice is louder than usual and he steadies himself with a hand on the table next to us.
"No," I reply.
"What does the big man think?" Will angles his head in Bryn's direction.
Jax breaks his silence. "Didn't think you were coming here tonight."
Will pulls a face. "Yeah, my b.l.o.o.d.y brother decided he wanted to. Like, practically dragged me away from the bar. Remember that chick who was there? The one with..." He glances at me. "Yeah. I was in for some fun with her, and Nate f.u.c.king leaves and I had to go after him."
"Poor you," I say.
Will makes a humph noise and looks around. "Wouldn't have bothered, but he's called the Twin Code now."
"Twin Code?" I ask.
"Nate's wasted," Will replies simply. "We look out for each other. Unspoken rule: whatever we're doing, we help each other. I couldn't let him leave on his own."
"One of many weird things about them," says Jax.
Will flicks Jax's nose. "We look after you too. Jesus, I could tell some stories about Jax -"
"Yeah. Okay. Maybe not right now," Jax interrupts.
Will appraises us, grins, and claps Jax on the back. "You and Tegan, huh? Nice job."
"Where's Nate?" I ask.
"Left him over there." He turns unsteadily. "Or he was. f.u.c.k." For a minute, Will stares in drunken confusion at the tables across the room. "Screw it he's probably gone for a p.i.s.s. I'll grab beers."
Unsure if Will's talking to himself or us, I watch as he gives Jax a drunken wink and sidles by.
"You're pink," says Jax in a low voice.
I shift so the light nearby no longer illuminates us. "No, I'm not."
He winds his hands in my hair and pulls my head to his. "I'm fed up of interruptions."
"So we leave?" I run my tongue along his parted lips and he makes a low noise in his throat before closing his lips over mine again.
At this rate, we won't make it back to the hotel.