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He lowered his mouth to hers, pausing just long enough to whisper in her ear.
"No fair peeking inside my head. If you want to know what I'm feeling, just ask me. I'll show you."
"Right now I've got all I can handle feeling my own feelings, thanks," she said faintly.
He laughed against her mouth. "Good. Then feel this."
Chapter 12.
Archer only meant to indulge in his need to taste her before everything changed. He quickly realized he could not control his feelings, just as he realized he didn't give a d.a.m.n. Not this one last time. He shut out Baleweg's dire warnings and predictions and did what he wanted, took what he wanted.
Gave her what she wanted.He would stop, in just one more second. But right at that moment, she was making that soft moaning noise deep in her throat and he swore he felt every vibration of it throughout his entire body. He pulled her closer, groaning in satisfaction when she dug her long fingers into his hair. His hips found hers and his knees actually buckled slightly when she moved against him.
He gripped her tightly and made sure she understood exactly what she was
moving toward."Archer-""Devin," he corrected. For whatever reason, he had a need to set this moment apart from every moment he'd ever shared with anyone else.
"Devin."
d.a.m.n, but just hearing her say it pushed him right to the edge. "I want more."
"So do I, but-"
He pulled her hard against him. "Sweet Christ, Talia, you have me inside out."
"I want you, too." She looked up at him. "What do we do with this, Devin?
There is so much ahead of us, we can't... really shouldn't-""Must," he said, then his mouth was on hers again and she gave herself to him so sweetly, so gloriously, he was already planning where to take her when suddenly she managed to yank herself free.
"I can't think clearly like this." She looked at him, her hair dancing about her
head in the night breeze like a wild fairy halo.
He felt empty with her gone from his arms. Surely if they'd take each other this aching need would dissipate, or at the very least become manageable enough that he could think straight again. "Then let's get this out of our systems. Perhaps we'll both be able to think more clearly then."
She looked away and he actually felt his heart catch a bit. There couldn't be more in this for her than he'd a.s.sumed, could there? No more than there is in this for you, his inner voice mocked him.
She looked back to him. "Baleweg is inside. I don't know where else we can go." She said it calmly, evenly, as if it were merely a physical matter, reducing their needs to animal l.u.s.t, something a good rutting would take care of.
And suddenly he despised himself for making her admit she was willing to take that if it was all he had to offer. But hadn't that been exactly what attracted him to her? That she wanted the same thing, nothing more? So why did he suddenly want to create a bower for her, something filled with rose petals and feather down or some romantic s.h.i.t like that? Jesus, this was getting way too complicated.
And yet he looked at her standing there, wanting him badly enough to take what little he offered, and his need for her almost drove him to his knees. He was willing to give her whatever it took to satisfy her. To make her smile up at
him. To see the satisfied look in her eyes and know he'd been the one to put it there.
G.o.dd.a.m.n, but his head hurt.
"We can't do this," he muttered."What?" She looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. And maybe he had. Because he was actually thinking about doing what he should have done ten minutes ago. Walk away, leave her be. Not... complicating everything. Despite the fact that they both wanted to complicate things so badly that the air all but pulsed with it.
She stepped close to him and he wasn't sure whether to laugh at the fierce determination in her eyes, or rip his hair out because he'd already decided that they couldn't do this. For both their sakes.
"What do you mean we can't do this?"
"We just shouldn't," he said, hating himself. "As you said, this will only
complicate things. It's not because I don't want you. G.o.d knows I'm so hard with wanting you I can barely stand upright."
Her eyes widened and her throat worked and he almost caved in. Having a
conscience was a pain in the a.s.s. Probably why he'd never worked too hard on
developing one. And hadn't he picked a fine time to start?
"If you think I'm going to go attaching all sorts of emotional obligations to this, you're wrong," she said.
Wasn't that what he wanted to hear? So why did it p.i.s.s him off? "I think we
need to focus on what lies ahead for you and not our raging hormones."
"Didn't you tell me that if we finished what we'd started, we could concentrate better? 'Get this out of our systems,' was how you put it."
He winced. Hearing the words tossed back at him only reinforced his decision.
"Which is exactly why we can't do this."
She rubbed her temples. "Okay, I'm confused. I agree with you. No worries.
So what's the big deal?"
Now she was really p.i.s.sing him off. Because she was lying. She wanted more, just as he did.
Whoa, slow down there, mate.
"Fine then. Just d.a.m.n fine," he said abruptly. h.e.l.l, he'd tried, hadn't he? He was no saint and had been a fool to pretend to be one. "If that's all it's to be, then why not, right?" His tone was a tad sharper than he meant it to be, but what the h.e.l.l, right? "Why I was so worried about your delicate sensibilities when you seem to have none, I have no idea." She backed away, but her eyes were riveted to his and, dammit, it wasn't for fear of him he saw, it was antic.i.p.ation of what he might do to her.
d.a.m.n her to h.e.l.l. She'd well and truly done it.
She backed up against the fence and he came up against her. "I'm not so good
at doing right by anyone but myself, Talia," he said, his own breathing labored now as his thundering heartbeat threatened to drown him out.
"So why are you starting now? Especially when I didn't ask for the favor?"
He blew out a deep breath, torn between shaking her and yanking her tightly
against him. He ended up taking her into his arms, surprising even himself with his sudden gentleness. What was it about her anyway? The tougher she talked, the gentler he felt he needed to be with her. He pulled her close, tucking her against his chest and rested his chin on top of her head. "d.a.m.n if I know," he said, exhausted. "d.a.m.n if I know."
He felt her hand creep up to his cheek and the tenderness of the touch undid
him.
"Come here, Devin."
He shifted and looked down into those wise gray eyes of hers. "I don't want to
hurt you." The words just came out, before he even knew he'd thought them.
And he realized he'd never meant anything more.
"I'm used to taking care of my own feelings," she said. "Don't worry about me."
And that was the crux of it right there. The realization hit him like a gazzer set on full blast. He did worry about her. He even liked being the one responsible for her.
Heaven help them both.
But then she was pulling his mouth to hers and he finally, blessedly, let the whole thing go. He did something he'd wanted to do all his life, only he hadn't known it until that very moment. He put his faith and trust in her hands. Trust
that she knew what she was doing and that, somehow, they'd make this all okay afterward. Together. An amazingly freeing idea.
"Just enjoy this, Devin." She smiled up at him and it was so sweet and pure he
swore he felt tears burning in his eyes. "I know I am," she added.
"Yeah," he said, was all he could say. "Show me what you're feeling."
And she did.
In fact, it was she who tore the shirt from the waistband of his pants. She who