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She flinched. "Nee. No, of course not."
"And I was not being held captive in my bed, at the mercy of Penny Troyer." He ran a hand through his hair, grabbing a chunk and pulling hard. "Where are you coming up with this stuff?"
She flinched again. "Perhaps I misspoke."
"You did more than that," he retorted, still hating, hating the way she'd portrayed Penny. "This is sweet Penny Troyer we're talking about. You know what she's like. I mean, I thought you did."
Beverly stiffened her spine. "I'm not saying that she isn't sweet. But she did, however, overstep her boundaries."
"No she didn't. Penny isn't like that."
"Forgive me, but you don't really know her all that well."
"I know her far better than you do. Beverly, what you walked in on was nothing more than two people talking."
"I'm not blind and I'm not a fool."
He tried again. More softly, he added, "Penny and I are becoming close. What is happening between Penny and me is special. That is what you walked in on."
"She works here."
"She has to work somewhere, Beverly."
Now she looked like the one who wanted to pull out her hair. "You're right. She needed this job. And that is precisely why she should have been more professional." With a sigh, she continued before he could respond to that. "And as far as what you two have being special? Michael, forgive my bluntness, but how could that be? She is a small-town girl who lives in Pinecraft. In a couple of weeks, you'll be back to being who you are."
"And who am I?"
"Don't start playing games. We both know who you are and what you do. It's a fact. It canna be changed. And if you think it can, then you need to consider how it could. One day very soon you will be back on your way and she'll still be here. Pining for you." Her eyes flashed. "Or something worse."
"Worse?"
"Yes, worse. You'll leave behind a vulnerable girl who's a little shy and a little awkward. You'll move on to another city, maybe even another country. A year from now you'll probably have forgotten her name. But Penny won't have forgotten a minute of your time together. She'll have a head and heart filled with regrets. Long after you've forgotten her, she'll be bearing the consequences," she said softly. Then she turned away and walked out his door.
Leaving him staring at the empty chair by his bedside and his empty right hand.
He was so aggravated, he was tempted to raise his hand and shove that whole tray off the table. He was also alone. Unable to go after Penny. Unable to make her any promises.
As much as it pained him to admit it, he knew that some of what Beverly had said was true. He would be moving on, and she would stay here. He was a little more worldly. Okay, he was about a thousand times more worldly than her, but that didn't mean she wasn't perfect the way she was.
Yet, knowing that didn't really matter.
He picked up one of the pillows beside him, closed his right hand in a fist, and punched it hard. It wasn't even close to what he yearned to do, but sometimes a man had to know his limits.
And sometimes a man had to make do with what he had. And at the moment, he was willing to only harm a down pillow in his frustration.
Still, it was better than nothing.
CHAPTER 19.
Fuming and feeling like every step was yet another obstacle, Beverly stormed down the stairs.
She was mad. Mad about what had happened between Penny and Michael.
Mad at the way she'd handled it.
But more than both of those things, she was mad that her little speech had served to remind her of her own pain. It was becoming obvious that she hadn't yet dealt with everything that had happened between her and Marvin.
It was becoming obvious? Even that seemed like an understatement! And what a shame that was.
She was a grown, independent woman in her thirties who operated a successful business. Yet, it seemed she only needed a fresh reminder of how emotions could get the best of a person and then all that awful hurt and betrayal-feelings she'd thought she held firmly at bay-rushed forth as if from a faucet.
When was she going to stop being a jilted bride? When was she going to realize, in her heart, that being betrayed by Marvin and Regina before their marriage had been for the best?
She would not be the same person if she were living back in Sugarcreek as Marvin's wife. Perhaps she wouldn't even be very happy. Looking back on it, it was hard to ignore his selfish ways. When she'd been engaged to him, she'd thought she admired a man who looked out for himself. But then, he really only ever looked out for himself.
Never her.
Beverly stopped at the foot of the stairs, closed her eyes, and asked the Lord for yet more help. More opportunities to grow and strengthen. And, yes, to help her find the right words to apologize to both Penny and Michael. As she stood quietly, praying for help and guidance, she felt the tension ease in her shoulders as a newfound sense of peace surrounded her. She needed to remember to ask for help more often. Nothing good happened when she attempted to fix everything on her own.
Her temper and emotions were much more firmly in check by the time she got to the kitchen. After first wondering where Penny was-after all, she was pretty sure she'd told Penny to wait for her there-Beverly decided to give herself a couple more minutes to cool off and brew a cup of chamomile tea. She knew the soothing properties of the tea, mixed with a couple of her favorite almond shortbread cookies, would settle her spirit and give her just the boost she needed to go back upstairs, apologize to Michael, and then go talk things over with Penny.
"Feeling better?" Eric said.
Beverly jumped a good two inches off the floor. "Eric!" she called out, at last locating him lounging against the counter next to the refrigerator. "You startled me."
He smiled tightly, though his gaze was devoid of any humor. "Looks like it. Sorry, I thought you saw me."
"Obviously, I did not." After catching her breath, she said, "I'm, uh, going to make a cup of tea. Would you like one?" She really hoped he'd say no. He was staring at her with a bit of distaste, almost as if she had a stain across the front of her dress.
"No, thanks."
"All right," she said, growing a little uncomfortable with the way he was still staring at her. "Well . . ."
"The last thing I want right now is a cup of"-he paused to read the label of the tea bag she'd just pulled out of a drawer-"soothing chamomile." His voice was laced with sarcasm.
Beverly really didn't know how to respond. What she wanted-no, needed-was to keep a tight rein on her emotions so she didn't burst into tears in front of her new boss. "Okay."
But unfortunately, her easy acquiescence didn't seem to appease him. His eyes narrowed. "See, I've just spent the last ten minutes attempting to calm Penny down."
Valiantly pretending her cheeks weren't turning beet red, she kept her eye on the kettle. "Oh? Why?"
"You know why, Beverly. Actually, she was so upset I sent her home."
Beverly flinched. She hated that she'd made Penny so upset, but she didn't appreciate that Eric was acting like he had every right to chastise her for behaving badly.
How she ran the inn and talked to her employees wasn't any of his business. Not yet. Right now he was simply a guest at the inn. Happy to watch and observe. He had no desire to help manage things. He'd said so several times. Besides, this was a personal problem, one between her and Penny and Michael. Eric b.u.t.ting in wouldn't help anything.
But when he continued to stare at her, she knew she was going to have to talk to him about Penny whether she wanted to or not. "You're right. I know why Penny was upset."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"Ask you to let me handle it," she replied pertly, still looking at that teakettle. Surely it would start whistling soon. "I made a mistake. I also might have overreacted a bit. I'll talk to her in the morning."
"I doubt that is gonna happen."
His words were so laced with derision, his tone so matter-of-fact, that she lifted her chin and turned to him. "Why is that?"
"Because I'm fairly sure that you embarra.s.sed Penny so much, she isn't going to come back to work," he replied as he folded his arms over his chest. The pale blue T-shirt he was wearing stretched across his shoulders, hinting at the muscles underneath.
She really, really wished she hadn't just noticed that.
"She can't just quit, Eric," Beverly retorted.
His expression turned thunderous. "Sure she can. And once more, I wouldn't blame her." He paused. "You know, it took me forever, but I finally got the gist of what happened from her. Did you really accuse that sweet girl of making a move on one of your guests?"
"It wasn't one of my guests, it was Michael Knoxx."
"So?"
"Eric, you wouldn't understand this, but he is a very handsome young man. Charming, too. It's no wonder that she let down her guard. But she can't do that. She's here to do a job, not flirt with the guests."
"Beverly."
"When I walked in, they were holding hands."
"So this handsome and charming Michael is so helpless that he can't pull his hand away from the conniving and brazen Penny?"
The kettle started whistling. Grabbing a towel, she pulled it from the burner, then filled her mug. Hopefully Eric didn't notice that her hand was shaking. "I don't know what, exactly, is going on between them, but Michael has already given me an earful. I don't need to hear it from you, too."
"I think you do." He shifted, dropping his hands to rest on the counter. She glanced at him again, noticing that his faded jeans were almost the same color as his T-shirt. And that he was barefoot.
"Eric, stay out of this."
"You're going to have to go to her house in the morning and apologize."
"I'm sure Penny will have realized I let my temper get the best of me by tomorrow morning," she replied, trying to remain businesslike but likely failing. She hated what had happened. Hated feeling so guilty. And hated that Eric was now pointing out how badly she'd behaved. "Plus, I know she needs this job. She'll be here."
His expression solemn, Eric shook his head. "I really don't think so." More softly, he added, "I saw how she was with him at the hospital. I heard the doctors and nurses say that he asked for her. Clearly, there's a bit of a romance brewing. What's wrong with that?"
"Everything. Penny works here. Michael is a guest."
"So? People meet everywhere. It's obviously mutual, too. It's not as if she's been entering his room uninvited." When she took a breath to speak, he raised a palm. "And don't start telling me how scandalous hand-holding is. I'm not an idiot, and you're not that sheltered. You run an inn. I'm sure you've seen and heard your fair share of amorous situations."
Beverly couldn't help but smile at that. Yes, the thin walls had sometimes given her a surprise or two.
After taking a fortifying sip of tea, she grabbed a jar of shortbread cookies and sat down at the table. Since this conversation wasn't likely to end anytime soon, she needed cookies. Lots of cookies.
Still eyeing her, Eric shook his head again. "Their hand-holding isn't what's bothering you. What is it?"
"I don't know." Then, knowing she was a liar, she corrected herself. "I mean, I do know. Michael is going to leave when he's healed, Eric."
"And?"
"And he'll likely move on."
"You don't know that. Men don't always do that."
"I know," she said quietly. With a sigh, she said, "The truth is that when I saw them together, Penny so trusting and Michael's future so different from hers, something inside of me snapped. I felt like the jilted bride again. All I could feel was how hurt I'd been when my fiance cheated on me."
Surprise lit his eyes. "That's what happened to you?"
Was it more embarra.s.sing to admit being jilted or to admit it to Eric? "Yes."
He came over and sat across from her. "Not all men are like that," he said quietly.
She scanned his face, noticing the concern in his eyes, the faint stubble on his cheeks. She pretended she didn't notice how handsome he was. "I know."
"And what happened wasn't your fault."
His voice was so suddenly gentle, so surprisingly, well, kind, it enabled her to lift her chin and meet his gaze. "You don't know everything that happened, Eric."
"I know you. I know myself. And I've been around enough to know people. Who knows why this guy decided to cheat on you?" He shrugged. "He was most likely just a jerk."
"He fell in love with my best friend."
To her bemus.e.m.e.nt, he shrugged again. "All right. Who knows why this guy decided to cheat on you with your best friend? All I do know is that most men don't become engaged and then start looking for additional relationships. Excuse me, but this guy was a . . . a piece of work."
Almost against her will, she smiled. "A piece of work?"
He smiled softly as he dipped into her jar and pulled out a cookie. "Obviously, I'm watching my mouth around you. He was worse than that."
"He was." It felt good to be so open and honest. It felt good to not take the high road, to finally admit that she'd held herself at least partially responsible for Marvin straying. Reaching for a cookie of her own, she said, "I'll go speak to Penny tomorrow morning."
"Want me to come with you?"
It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse, but he'd shown a lot of insight, and if Penny had told him what happened, that meant she trusted him. And there was a mighty good chance that Penny didn't exactly trust Beverly at the moment. "Jah," she said. "I'd really appreciate it if you would come with me tomorrow."
His gaze warmed, letting her know that he was glad about that. "What time?"
"We better go early. Seven?"