The Prodigal Mage Part 8

What did you tell Darran, that you aint told me or your ma? About magic. About feelin things in the earth.

Fright flashed to indignation. That ole fart. That ole trout. He promised hed not tell. Betrayal hooked him like a fish, left him gasping for air.

Da fastened strong fingers to his shoulder. Shaking him a little, his eyes fierce, he scowled. No use fratchin at Darran, Rafe. Hes dead, he aint listenin. And I need to know what happened. When did you come over funny, sprat?

Week afore last, he said, his voice small. Glaring at stone Darran from underneath his lashes. You promised. You promised.

And what were you doing? Were you doing magic?

He had to look at the floor again, afraid his guilty secret would show in his eyes. No, Da. Only working with the blocks.

The blocks Pother Kerril had told him he needed for practise, so his Doranen magic didnt fizz up his blood. Da didnt like it, not one bit, but Kerril said it had to be. Kerril said it was dangerously foolish to go on pretending his magic didnt exist. Hed not said a word, hed been so scared his guilty secret would show then, too. But it didnt. And ever since, for nearly five months, hed practised with the blocks Kerril gave him. She was right. They did help scratch his itches. Butbut Da! he said, his heart jumping. Was itwas it my fault? Did I No! said Da, almost shouting. Aint none of this your fault, sprat.

Giddy with relief, he nearly blurted it all out. Nearly told Da everythingthen swallowed the words just in time. Da could never know. Neither could Mama. Neither of them would ever understand.

Rafe, said Da, gently now. Tell me what you felt. Its all right. You aint in trouble.

Not so long as he kept his secret, he wasnt. I felt a funny skritching, all over.

Like ants havin a picnic neath your shirt and trews?

Dumbly, he nodded.

And then, said Da, a kind of rumble and rollin, like someone put you in a pepper pot and shook you all about?

Aye, Da, he whispered. And then the airthe air Da sighed. It felt like the air got its neck wrung, like a chicken?

A tiny sobbing gasp escaped him. Yes. Did you Aye. Me and your ma. We felt it too. How many other times have you felt it, Rafe?

Once. The day Darran got sick. To his shame, his voice broke. He felt his eyes sting, and his lips quiver. He wanted to bawl like Deenie, left behind because boys dont play with girls.

Da pulled him close in a tight hug. Why didnt you tell me and your ma? Letting go, he sounded hurt. Why did you tell that ole fool Darran and not us?

I never meant to tell him, Da, he said, feeling like hed stuck a knife in Das heart. Only he came looking for you when I was practicing the blocks, and thats when I got the feeling, and he saw. Another hot rush of anger. He said he wouldnt tell.

He only told cause he knew he were dyin, said Da. And he thought we should know. Rafe, whyd you keep it a secret?

He scuffed the floor again. Thought I might be comin down with an ague, he muttered. Thought you might say I couldnt go with Goose and his da to see the brewery in Banting.

And the second time? said Dathen shook his head. I spose, with Darran poorly He nodded. And even though Darran poorly had really been Darran dying, even though they were stood right in front of his coffin, he still felt rankled. Cause Darran had promised.

Rafe, said Da, noticing. The ole trouts dead. You forgive him, eh? Youll feel better if you do.

He wasnt so sure on that, but it was Da asking, so he turned to the coffin and kissed the ole mans stone brow. I forgive you, Darran. Reckon you thought you were doing what was right.

Rafe, said Da, after a moment, sitting himself on the crypts cool floor. You believe me, dont you, that it werent you practisin your blocks as made things go awry? Cause it werent your fault, no more than bein able to do Doranen magic be your fault.

Did this mean they were going to talk about it, at last? Suddenly hopeful, he b.u.mped himself down beside his father. Then why wont you let me learn more magic, Da? If I aint doing anything wrong, why wont you?

Da shook his head again. Cause it aint that simple, sprat. A thing dont have to be wrong for it to be the wrong thing to do. There be a time and a place for you and Doranen magic, but we aint there yet.

But I told you, Rafe. Doranen magic sneaks up on you. And you dont see what it really means until its too b.l.o.o.d.y late.

Da didnt sound hurt any more. Now he sounded angry, like he wanted to take out his magic and punch it.

Da, he said, his voice small. II dont mind it all that much.

You dont? Da said. He sounded almost puzzled. It dont fright you?

He shook his head, feeling bad. As though not hating his magic was the same as not loving Da. No.

Not ever?

Remembering how it felt to crack stones, and dance leaves, and make his bathwater leap into frogs and dogs and horsesremembering all the other wonderful things hed donehe stared at his knees. He could always lie. He could say it did fright him sometimes, and that might make Da feel better. But he didnt want to. He didnt know why, but he knew that would feel even worse than not confessing his terrible secret.

No, Da. It dont fright me. Not even a bit.

Rafe, Rafe, said Da, sighing. What am I sposed to do with you, eh?

More than anything he wanted to say, Let me be a mage. If hed been born Doranen hed be learning Doranen magic. Hed be like Arlin Garrick, magicking all over the place. If he was like Goose, just an ordinary Olken, hed be doing Olken magic and n.o.body would think twice.

But I aint one thing or the other. Same as Da, Im both. And he thinks cause he dont like it then I shouldnt either. And that aint right.

But he couldnt tell Da that. He was just a sprat. He went hot, feeling his p.r.i.c.kly crossness rise.

Rafe, said Da, you got to tell me and your ma if you feel that skritchiness again.

I will, Da. He chewed his lip. Da what does it mean?

Da grabbed hold of King Gars tomb and hauled himself to his feet. The crypts glimfire danced shadows over his face as he walked round and round between the coffins, staring at the peaceful marble people without ever seeing them proper.

I felt it, Da, so you ought should tell me, he said, so daring. n.o.body bossed Da about. Well, n.o.body save Ma. Da shot him a sharp look, but didnt scold him on it. He was scowling, like he did when all his thoughts were tangled. Tell me, Da. Please? I wont tattle, my word, man to man.

Da looked like he wanted to swear. Really swear, lots of bad words, the ones Mama wouldnt let him say. Its complicated, Rafe. You be a spratling, and this aint spratling business.

p.r.i.c.kly cross, p.r.i.c.kly cross. Maybe not, Da. But I felt what you and Mama felt. I never asked to, but I did. It aint fair if you dont tell me.

Da stopped circling the crypt. Halted at King Gars marble feet and brooded into his cold white stone face. It was a nice face. Sad, and understanding. So young. Hard to think of Da that young, the same age as King Gar when he died. He wasnt exactly old now, not as old as Uncle Pellen, say, but he looked old. Not in a wrinkled way. In a sad way. A tired way.

I never saw that before. I never saw he looked tired. I never saw that made him look older than he is.

He felt odd, all of a sudden. Standing on the outside, looking at his da. Thinking these strange thoughts. Noticing things.

I were your age when my ma died, Da said, very quiet. She got sick and no pother could help her. Just like that, I werent a spratling no more. My da were lost without her. My brothers well His face pinched. Werent no love lost there. I learned things, Rafe. I learned em too soon. He nodded at King Gars effigy. So did he. Werent no reason for us to be friends, youd think. He was royalty. I werent. But he learned things young too, and they made him sad. I knew what that felt like. Thats how we were friends. He lived sad, and he died sad. He never had a chance. Rafe, you dont need to know whats going on. Not yet, any road. When you do Ill tell you. My word, man to man. But you stay a sprat for now. Youll grow up soon enough.

Staring at him, Rafel knew hed waste his breath complaining. Just like with his magic, he wasnt allowed a say. All right, if he was honest, the upset in the earth did fright him a tiddy bit. Hed told himself it were nowt, he just had an ague, but down deep hed known different. Down deep hed known something was wrong. And without ever saying so, Da had told him he was right.

He cant pretend Im ordinary forever. One day h.e.l.l have to stop treating me like a sprat.

Rafel, said Da. His voice was stern. It was the voice he used when what he said was as good as a law. His Justice Hall voice. This be serious business. What you felt aint to be talked on. Have you told it to Goose, or any other boy or girl?

Hed been thinking to tell Goose. He told Goose most everything. Hed just been waiting till he felt not so wobbly. No, Da. I only told Darran.

Huh, Da grunted. Thats somethin, any road. So you dont tell Goose, you hear me? No teasin him on what you felt, and no askin if he felt it. You dont tell anyone. I got your word on that?

He nodded, smothering disappointment. He hated keeping secrets from Goose. Aye, Da.

Das face relaxed. I know it dont seem fair, Rafe. I know you be fratched cause you aint got your answer. But youll get it, by and by.

He sighed. His father kept on saying that, but it was getting harder to believe him. Aye, Da.

Good sprat, said Da. Now wed best be on our way, or your ma will be thinkin weve turned to marble in here.

Side by side they left the crypt, the glimfire snapping to darkness behind them, and walked out blinking into the Garden of Remembrance. Every time he came here he stopped to look at the statue of the man he was named for, who died a hero in the war against Morg. He didnt exactly know how it happened. Darran never told him that story. But every time he stood here with Da, and he looked at Das face, he knew it was a sad tale.

Other straggling folk were here and there in the garden, because everyone loved the flowers and the trees, but n.o.body tried to speak to them, on account of the whole City knowing Darran was being put in the crypt today. They got stared at, though. One ole biddy was weepin. Da noticed, but he didnt say a word.

Come on, he said, after theyd stood there a goodly while, looking at the statues of Rafel and Veira and Matt. Therell be supper waitin for us in the Tower, and your ma with a wooden spoon to wallop us cause we aint sat at the table on time.

That made him giggle, even though he was mixed up, p.r.i.c.kly cross and sad. Not you, Da. Mama aint going to wallop you.

Da rolled his eyes. Aint no-one your ma wouldnt wallop, Rafe. She aint got a fear in her, that wench. Make certain sure you find a woman to marry whats like your ma. Lifell be sweet, that road.

He grinned. You called Mama a wench.

Wash out your ears, said Da, grinning back. I did no such thing. Now stir your stumps, sprat. Its time to go.

On a shared smile they turned their backs on the garden and wandered home to the Tower, companionably silent. Overhead a ghost moon winked at the sliding sun, and the waking nightbirds sang in the djelba trees. Nightbirds never stopped singing, and they never sounded sad.

Rafe swallowed a small sigh. Wherever Darran was, he hoped the ole man could hear them.

Naked and sated, Asher smoothed Dathnes tangled hair from her face and kissed the corner of her mouth. Her lips moved beneath his, curving into a smile, and she slapped his a.r.s.e lightly.

Get off me, you lump.

Obliging, he rolled to her side and scooped her against him with one arm. Their skin stuck moistly together; she smelled of roses and apricots. Heaving a contented sigh, his head comfortable on their pillows, he dropped a hand to cover her breast. Her hand covered his, and they lay for some time in sighing silence.

The ole fart reached a goodly age, he said softly, at last. A better age than my da did, Barl rest his bones.

Dathnes fingertips traced idle patterns on his belly. I wondered if youd thought on that. But you never said, and I didnt want to pry.

He snorted. First time for everythin, eh?

Rogue, she said, pinching him. So. You made your peace with the dear old man?

Shed not asked, before. It was one of the many things he loved about her, the way she could sit silent and wait till she knew he were ready to talk on things that mattered.

Aye, he said, feeling again Darrans cold fingers in his hand. We settled things.

Her lips pressed against his chest. Good. You travelled a strange road together, you and that persnickety fellow. You hurt each other on purpose, and not but even so It were funny, how she was so much harder than him but could still easily touch matters close to the heart, when he couldnt.

Dont worry, she added. There was a smile in her voice. I aint about to get maudlin on you, Meister Asher.

He thanked her with another kiss, slow and considering. She laughed, amus.e.m.e.nt whispering, and stroked her hand down his back, fingertips b.u.mping from scar to scar.

You spoke to Rafe? she said, head settling on his shoulder. I hope you did. I took Pellen and Deenie out so youd have a moment with him alone.

Aye, he said. I spoke to him.

And? she prompted, after a moment.

He sighed. And he dont much like bein held back, Dathne.

You think thats news to me? she said. Hes wanted to run before he could walk ever since he snapped his fingers and called glimfire when he was barely a year old. What did you tell him?

I told him not to fret on what he felt. That it were important, but you and me, we were mindin it cause thats our job, not his.

You know The gentle fingers scoring his skin ceased their movement, leaving him bereft. We cant hold him back forever. We dont dare. The power in him will find its way to the surface, no matter how deeply we try to keep it buried.

He felt his heart pound. Felt his hot blood flow cold, thinking on it. I never said forever, Dath. But hes a spratling. Hes ten. Hes got his whole life for magic. It can wait.

Can it? she said, and wriggled until she was up on her elbows looking down at him. Moonlight turned her sharp face to silver, and shone mysterious in her dark, solemn eyes. Asher, you and I, were children of the old kingdom. Hes a child of the new. Magic is his birthright. Its the birthright of every Olken, if they choose to embrace it. And hes made his choice, my love. He wants what he was born with, Olken and Doranen magic both. What we want what you want thats not important. Child or not, we cant ride roughshod over him.

Speak for yself, he retorted. I b.l.o.o.d.y can. Hes my son. Im his father.

She let herself drop back to the feather mattress, and their blankets. When you say things like that, Asher, I think you must sound like your brothers.

The words stung him, as she knew they would. That aint fair, Dath. I aint like Zeth and the rest of em. I dont use my fists, and my belt, and I dont scream at him neither. I dont use him up and spit him out. No, and I aint like my da was, neither. He let grief turn him blind to what were goin on under his nose. But me, I aint blind, Dath. Rafes my life, you b.l.o.o.d.y know that. Aint nowt I wont do for him.

Nowt but let him be himself, she said gently. Asher, hes not you. Hes not Not what? Go on, Dath. Dont say your tongues fallen out now.

She lay quietly beside him, her moonlight face darkened with shadows. Not afraid, she said at last. Not bitter. Hes living his life, not yours. And in his life magics a thing to be celebrated, notnot kicked aside.

Her words stole his breath.

My love, you cant protect him, she said, letting her hand rest atop his busy heart. Not from this. Barl save us, Asher, we tampered with him, and he still felt what we felt. Like it or not, thats the truth we have to swallow once and for all. Rafels a mage of power with Doranen magic in him. And nothing we can do will save him from that.

He closed his eyes. You aint never called me coward before. Not once. Not even at Veiras cottage, and I was frighted to death then. You sayin I be a coward now cause I want to keep my son safe?

Being afraid and being a coward arent the same thing and you know it, she snapped. Dont try to fratch me into a fight, Asher, just so you wont have to talk about this. And hes our son. Not yours alone.

Aye, hes our son, he said, sitting up. Her hand fell away from him but he didnt feel the lack of it. And there aint a body in this kingdom knows better than us what harm being a powerful mage can do. Do you want that for him? After what we lived through? What we dream on, ten years later? Is that what you want for him?

I want what you want, she said. Rafe happy. Lur safe.

He flinched as her warm hand came to rest between his shoulder blades. He reckons hes hard done by, but hes a spratling. He knows nowt. We let him muck about with magic, Dath, h.e.l.l learn quick smart what unhappys about. He will. I swearif I could rip his magic out of him with my bare hands, I would.

A creaking of the bedboards as she sat up beside him. A caress of warmth, as she sighed across his bare skin and slid her arms around his ribs. Oh, Asher.