The Pretty Committee Strikes Back Part 10

"Ew, no." Ma.s.sie turned her back on him and rotated the dials on the lock of her sweaters-and-jeans trunk until she had had her combination all lined up, 2-3-2-6, which spelled BEAN on her phone.

A dark shadow was cast over her trunk, blocking her light. She looked up. Alexandra, Carrie, and Livvy were standing over her like three tall pine trees.

"Sowhendowegettherestofourlesson?" Carrie asked.

"What?" Ma.s.sie had no clue what Carrie had just asked but could have guessed if she had to. While Livvy translated, Ma.s.sie tried to accept the fact that she would have to teach another kissing clinic. So what if she had no experience, right? It wasn't like her students would know the difference, because they didn't have any either. The only thing they had ever kissed was Ma.s.sie's b.u.t.t.

Alexandra tapped on her green braces with her long pinky nail and jutted out her hips. "How about this afternoon?"

"How about after dinner," Ma.s.sie countered. "Derrington and I need a little alone time first."

"To get warmed up?" Alexandra's face lit up.

"Ahb-viously." Ma.s.sie rolled her eyes. "Now go spread the word to the rest of my students. And remember, be quiet about it."

The girls hurried off to do as they were told.

Everyone started dragging their suitcases to the closets in the back so they could start to unpack.

Claire unzipped her tattered gray wheelie. It looked like the whole bag was filled with silky bikini briefs.

"Kuh-laire," Alicia gasped. "How much underwear did you pack?"

Claire giggled. "Everything I bought at Victoria's Secret. I wasn't sure which ones I liked best so I brought them all."

"Can I have a pair?" Layne mumbled, under her breath.

"What?" Claire crinkled her pale eyebrows. "Why?"

Layne stuck out her face and squinted her already narrow green eyes. "You know know," she insisted.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Take whatever you need."

"Yeah, while you're at it, I could use a pair myself," Alicia joked.

"No problem." Claire grabbed a fistful of underwear and handed it to Alicia. The price tags dangled off her palm. "Take as many as you want."

Ma.s.sie looked up at Claire, half of her mouth curled up as if to ask what was up with the freebies. Claire widened her blue eyes and shrugged. Suddenly Ma.s.sie got it. It was a guilt giveaway. Claire would continue giving things to Alicia as long as it kept her from connecting her to Josh. But Layne?

A sudden kick at the door gave way to a pack of boys wearing ski caps and Lone Ranger masks, led by Derrington.

"What's up, damsels?" Derrington leapt into the cabin and wiggled his b.u.t.t for the ladies. Josh Hotz sneaked up behind him and yanked on Derrington's board shorts, revealing the top of his b.u.t.t crack.

"That was for you, Ma.s.sie!" Chris Plovert shouted. His cast was wrapped in saran wrap to keep the moisture out.

Derrington turned around and punched his friend in the arm. The two started cracking up and play-fighting.

Claire glanced around the room, ahb-viously to see if Cam was with them. He wasn't. She turned back to her suitcase and continued to unpack.

Ma.s.sie wanted to comfort her but didn't want Derrington to think she was ignoring him.

Merri-Lee raced through the door dressed in head-to-toe fatigues that had DIOR DIOR written across the legs in what was supposed to look like yellow spray paint. "Get the boys fighting and then pan over to the girls' reactions," she demanded. written across the legs in what was supposed to look like yellow spray paint. "Get the boys fighting and then pan over to the girls' reactions," she demanded.

Her camera crew did exactly as they were told.

Mr. Myner politely pulled Merri-Lee aside, and after a very close conversation she smiled at him and told her crew to cut.

"Boys, get back to your cabin!" Mr. Myner shouted.

"There you are." Mr. Dingle pushed his big square bifocals up on his greasy b.u.t.ton nose. "I gave you boys permission to take a quick trip to the bathroom, not to visit the girls."

"The next time you are caught in here you, will be sent home, with a suspension," Mr. Myner said. "You are not to enter the girls' bunk, under any circ.u.mstances. And if any of you decide to take off into the woods again without supervision, you will face expulsion."

"Whoa, dude, no need to use the E E word." Derrington lifted his mask, which made his dirty blond hair poke straight up in the air. "We were just exploring the grounds. You know, taking an interest in the topography." word." Derrington lifted his mask, which made his dirty blond hair poke straight up in the air. "We were just exploring the grounds. You know, taking an interest in the topography."

He made air quotes when he said topography, topography, which made Ma.s.sie smile with pride. They were perfect for each other. which made Ma.s.sie smile with pride. They were perfect for each other.

"I appreciate your integrity, Derrick, but there are bears back there, not to mention hundreds of miles of dense forest, and it would be very easy for you to get lost or killed or worse. And as long as I am responsible for your lives, I am forbidding you to go back there without Mr. Dingle or me.

So consider this a warning. You get no more chances. And that goes for you girls too."

"Puh-lease, like we would even want to look at the trails." Ma.s.sie rolled her eyes.

Mr. Myner opened his mouth, then quickly closed it and shook his head, obviously not knowing how to respond.

"Let's go." Mr. Dingle herded the boys toward the door. Merri-Lee and her crew followed.

"See ya, Block!" Derrington shouted.

"'Bye." Ma.s.sie giggled. All of the girls turned and gazed at her with the twinkle of envy in their eyes. She casually threw open the top of her suitcase, like his visit was no big deal. If only they could hear how hard her heart was pounding.

"Who do you think Josh was here to visit?" Alicia asked anyone who would answer.

Claire stuffed her face as far into her closet as it would possibly go.

"You," they all knew to say.

Alicia still seemed unsure. "You think?"

Ma.s.sie spread her arms as wide as possible and hugged a pile of ultra-soft cashmere sweaters. At first touch they felt odd and slightly gooey. Like someone had sneezed on them. She lifted them up with care and caution, not quite sure what to expect.

"Ehmagawd!" she squealed. Her favorite Tocca dark green double-V-neck sweater looked like a wet poodle.

"What is it?" Mr. Myner raced over to her side.

"My b.u.mble and b.u.mble leave-in conditioner leaked all over my clothes." Ma.s.sie lifted her slick hands in the air as if they were covered in blood. "Call 911. I need a dry cleaner ASAP."

Dylan and Alicia rushed to her side and started rubbing her back.

"Preferably someone who specializes in cashmere and delicates," Alicia barked at Mr. Myner.

Ma.s.sie heard Layne giggle and shot her a You're-so-dead look. Layne popped open a GoGurt and took a hearty sip. Claire backed away.

Mr. Myner took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "I'd like everyone to gather around the fireplace for a quick meeting."

"This can't can't wait." Ma.s.sie could hear the panic rising in her voice. "We need to send for help immediately." wait." Ma.s.sie could hear the panic rising in her voice. "We need to send for help immediately."

"You will need more than help if you don't do what you're told." Mr. Myner no longer sounded like "cool teacher." He had switched into "strict parent" mode right before her eyes.

Ma.s.sie stood. She would have put up a bigger fight if her geography grade didn't already suck so badly, but it did and she needed Mr. Myner on her side. While he led the way to the fireplace, Ma.s.sie quickly zipped up her Tumi and wheeled it with her. She refused to leave her disabled wardrobe in the back of the cabin to die alone.

"Don't worry, you can borrow anything of mine," Claire said to Ma.s.sie when she sat down on a pile of colorful pillows.

Ma.s.sie chuckled, like Claire had actually said something funny.

While Mr. Myner started the fire, everyone offered to share clothes with Ma.s.sie, like she had recently become homeless.

She accepted their charity with grace, but deep down inside, she was still in mourning. Derrington would never get to see the ah-dorable rustic combinations she had dreamt up. Instead he would see Alicia's Sevens or Claire's turtlenecks. Unless ... Kristen would be willing to do a quick shop-and-FedEx run for her. As soon as Myner left she would make the call and place her order.

Mr. Myner lit a match and tossed it on the tower of newspaper and logs he'd built in the middle of the pit. The tiny flame quickly became a crackling fire that shot flecks of orange embers into the air. The girls shuffled across the pillows on their b.u.t.ts until they were close enough to feel the heat on their outstretched hands and feet.

Mr. Myner lifted his leg onto the marble ledge of the fireplace and rested his arm on his bent knee. He looked like he was posing for the cover of Outdoor Life Outdoor Life magazine. magazine.

"I have an exciting few days planned for you girls," he said. "By Wednesday you will know how to read maps, navigate using a compa.s.s, build igloos, and survive on little more than your wits and ripe berries."

Ma.s.sie raised her hand.

"Yes, Ma.s.sie," he said with enthusiasm. Mr. Myner loved it when his students partic.i.p.ated and asked meaningful questions.

"Does FedEx service this area?"

"I believe so," he said, his smile fading. "Why?"

"I'm just trying to solve my clothing crisis," Ma.s.sie said. "Thanks."

Mr. Myner lowered his leg and ran his fingers through his thick black hair. "Which brings me to my next point. You girls packed like you were going away for a year, not three days. And that's not going to fly with me."

Everyone looked at each other, wondering what he could possibly be getting at.

"You are here to learn how to survive in the wild, and the first lesson you are going to learn is called 'living light.'"

"That's the name of my mom's favorite spa in Boca," Alicia announced.

The girls instantly perked up, thinking they were about to spend the day getting spa treatments.

"Well, my version is about doing away with excess," Mr. Myner said. "You'll be surprised by how little you need to live a happy, meaningful life."

"Princ.i.p.al Burns needs to give the poor guy a raise," Dylan whispered to Ma.s.sie.

Ma.s.sie bit her lower lip to keep from laughing.

"So I want each one of you to pick out two pairs of pants, two sweaters, two long-sleeve jerseys, three pairs of underwear, and one pair of boots. The rest of your stuff will be taken away and locked in the bus until it's time to leave. And oh ..." Mr. Myner let out a small smile. "Try to avoid white or anything with stripes, because I'm told they don't look good on camera."

Dylan hid her face in her hands and shook her head.

"Sounds cool!" Strawberry blurted out. Her excited expression changed the instant she realized she was the only one in the room who felt that way.

"No, it doesn't!" Alicia shouted. "Not only are we going to be on TV wearing the same outfits every day, but there are guys guys here. Why should they see us in the same clothes day after day? It's not fair to here. Why should they see us in the same clothes day after day? It's not fair to them them."

"I a.s.sure you, they will be following the same rules," Mr. Myner said.

"This is a Board of Health issue," Dylan protested. "It's not sanitary."

"You will be taught to wash your clothes in the lake with Ivory soap. It's biodegradable, you know." Mr. Myner held up his index finger. "And I a.s.sure you, there is no fresher water source in the entire state."

"Most of my stuff needs to be washed in warm water, and that lake is freezing." Livvy shivered as she bit down on her bottom lip.

"How are we supposed to explain this to the clothes we leave behind?" Olivia asked. "They're going to be so upset."

Everyone giggled.

"What about all the money we spent buying new wardrobes for the trip?" Alexandra asked. "Will we be compensated for that?"

"Your parents got a newsletter that explained all of this." Mr. Myner stroked his mustache.

"Puh-lease, no one reads those." Ma.s.sie rolled her eyes.

The girls nodded in agreement.

"Whatifsomethinggetsstainedorsoiledormuddythenwhat?" Carrie shouted.

"What?" Mr. Myner sounded frustrated. "Ladies, this is a survival trip, not Fashion Week. You'll see it's very liberating. Trust me, at the end of our time here, you'll thank me."

"How does he know about Fashion Week?" Alicia whispered to Ma.s.sie.

"My mom," Dylan suggested.

Layne tore the top off another Go-Gurt. It must have been her fifth one of the day.

"Which reminds me," Mr. Myner said. "I will be collecting your food stashes. Not only does stuff like that attract bears and rodents, but also an endless supply will keep you from feeding off of your existing fat stores in case of a crisis."

"The only fat store I know about is Lane Bryant," Ma.s.sie said.

The whole cla.s.s burst out laughing. Even Mr. Myner smiled.

"Seriously, though," Dylan shouted above the laughter. "What if you don't have any fat stores?"

Ma.s.sie and Alicia rolled their eyes.