The Precipice Part 53

"No, Ivan Ivanovich, let it be to-day. I want to know what you have to say to me. I myself wanted to talk to you, but perhaps it is too late for what I have to say. Do you speak," she said, wondering painfully how and where he could have learnt her secret.

"I came here to-day...." he said as they sat down on the bench.

"What have you to say to me? Speak!" she interrupted.

"How can I say it to you now, Vera Va.s.silievna?" said Tushin springing to his feet.

"Do not make me suffer," she murmured.

"I love you...."

"Yes, I know it," she interrupted. "But what have you heard?"

"I have heard nothing," he said, looking round in amazement. He was now for the first time aware of her agitation, and his heart stood still with delight. She has guessed my secret and shares my feelings, he thought, and what she is asking, is for a frank, brief avowal. "You are so n.o.ble, so beautiful, Vera Va.s.silievna, so pure...." An exclamation was wrung from her, and she would have risen, but could not.

"You mock me, you mock me," she said, raising her hands beseechingly.

"You are ill, Vera Va.s.silievna," he said, looking at her in terror.

"Forgive me for having spoken to you at such a time."

"A day earlier or later makes no difference. Say what you have to say, for I also desire to tell you why I have brought you here."

"Is it really true?" he cried, hardly knowing how to contain his delight.

"What is true? You want to say something else, not what I expected," she said. "Speak, and do not prolong my sufferings."

"I love you," he repeated. "If you can grant what I have confessed to you (and I am not worthy of it), if your love is not given elsewhere, then be my forest queen, my wife, and there will be no happier man on earth than I. That is what I have long wished to say to you and have not dared. I should have done it on your nameday but I could no longer endure the suspense, and have come to-day, on the family festival, on your sister's birthday."

"Ivan Ivanovich," she moaned. The thought flashed through his head like lightning that this was no expression of joy, and he felt his hair was beginning to stand on end. He sat down beside her and said, "What is wrong with you, Vera Va.s.silievna? You are either ill, or are bearing a great sorrow."

"Yes, Ivan Ivanovich! I feel that I shall die."

"What is your trouble? For G.o.d's sake, tell me. You said that you had something to confide in me, which means that I must be necessary to you; there is nothing I would not do for you. You have only to command me.

Forgive me my too hasty speech."

"You, too, my poor Ivan Ivanovich! I can find neither prayers nor tears, nor is there any guidance or help for me anywhere."

"What words of despair are these, Vera Va.s.silievna?"

"Do you know _whom_ you love?"

He threw his cloak on the bench, and wiped the sweat from his brow. Her words told him that his hopes were ruined, that her love was given elsewhere. He drew a deep breath, and sat motionless, awaiting her further explanations.

"My poor friend," she said, taking his hand. The simple words filled him with new sorrow; he knew that he was in fact to be pitied.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Forgive me ... I did not know, Vera Va.s.silievna ... I am a fool.... Please forget my declaration. But I should like to help you, since you say yourself you rely on me for a service. I thank you for holding me worthy of that. You stand so high above me; I always feel that you stand so high, Vera Va.s.silievna."

"My poor Ivan Ivanovich, I have fallen from those heights, and no human power can reinstate me," she said, as she led him to the edge of the precipice.

"Do you know this place?" she asked.

"Yes, a suicide is buried there."

"There, in the depths below the precipice, your 'pure' Vera also lies buried," she said with the decision of despair.

"What are you saying? I don't understand. Enlighten me, Vera Va.s.silievna."

Summoning all her strength she bent her head and whispered a few words to him, then returned, and sank down on the bench. Tushin turned pale, swayed, lost his balance, and sat down beside her. Even in the dim light Vera noticed his pallor.

"And I thought," he said, with a strange smile, as if he were ashamed of his weakness, rising to his feet with difficulty, "that only a bear was strong enough to knock me over." Then he stooped to her and whispered, "Who?"

The question sent a shudder through her, but she answered quickly:

"Mark Volokov."

His face twitched ominously. Then he pressed his whip over his knee so that it split in pieces, which he hurled away from him.

"So it will end with him too," he shouted. As he stood trembling before her, stooping forward, with wild eyes, he was like an animal ready to spring on the enemy. "Is he there now?" he cried, pointing with a violent gesture in the direction of the precipice.

She looked at him as if he were a dangerous animal, as he stood there, breathing heavily; then she rose and took refuge behind the bench.

"I am afraid, Ivan Ivanovich! Spare me! Go!" she exclaimed, warding him off with her arms.

"First I will kill him, and then I will go."

"Are you going to do this for my sake, for my peace of mind or for your own sake?"

He kept silence, his eyes fixed on the ground, and then began to walk about in great strides. "What should I do?" he said, still trembling with agitation. "Tell me, Vera Va.s.silievna."

"First of all, calm yourself, and explain to me why you wish to kill him and whether I desire it."

"He is your enemy, consequently also mine."

"Does one kill one's enemies?"

He bent his head and seeing the pieces of the whip lying on the ground he picked them up as if he were ashamed, and put them in his pocket.

"I do not accuse him. I alone bear the blame, and he has justification,"

she said with such bitter misery that Tushin took her hand.

"Vera Va.s.silievna," he said, "you are suffering horribly. I do not understand," he went on, looking at her with sympathy and admiration, "what you mean by saying that he has justification, and that you bring no accusation against him. If that's the case, why did you wish to speak to me and call me here into the avenue?"

"Because I wanted you to know the whole truth."

"Don't leave me in the dark, Vera Va.s.silievna. You must have had some reason for confiding your secret to me."

"You looked at me so strangely to-day that I could not understand your meaning, and thought you must already be informed of all that had happened and could not rest until I knew what was in your mind. I was too hasty, but it comes to the same thing, for sooner or later I should have told you. Sit down, and hear what I have to say, and then have done with me." She explained the situation to him in a few words.

"So you forgive him," he asked, after a moment's thought.