The Pomp of Yesterday Part 29

I was silent for a few seconds. I did not want to hinder his recovery, by saying anything which might cause him to despair, but the thing which had been born in his mind seemed so senseless, so hopeless, that I felt it would be cruel on my part to allow him to entertain such a mad feeling.

'Surely you have not considered the impossibility of such a thing,' I said.

'Nothing's impossible,' he cried.

'But do you not see the insuperable barriers in the way?'

'I see the barriers, but they must be swept aside. Why, man!' and his voice became stronger, 'when I awoke a few hours ago, and saw those two doctor chaps, I was first of all bewildered, I could not understand.

Then it suddenly came to me where I was, in whose house I was staying, and in a flash I realized everything. As I said, when I saw her first, I despaired; but no man who believes in G.o.d should despair. I tell you, the thought of it means life, health, strength, to me! I have something great to live for. Why, think, man, think!'

'I am thinking hard,' I replied. 'I need hardly tell you, Edgec.u.mbe, that I am your friend, and that I wish you the best that you can hope for. It seems cruel, too, after what you have gone through, to try to destroy the thought which is evidently dear to you, but I must do it.'

'But I love her, man!' and his voice trembled as he spoke. 'When I saw her standing in the doorway, as we drove up the other night, she was a revelation to me,--she made all the world new. One look into her eyes was like opening the gates of heaven. Do you realize what a pure soul she has?--how beautiful she is? She is a child woman. She has all the innocence, all the artlessness of a child of ten, and all the resolution, and the foresight, and the daring of a woman. She seemed to me like a being from another world, like one sent to tell me what life should be.

She made everything larger, grander, holier, and before I had been in her presence five seconds I knew that I was hers for ever and for ever.'

'It is because she is so pure, and so innocent, that you should give up all such thoughts at once,' I said.

'But why should I? Tell me that.'

'You will not think me harsh or unkind?'

'I shall not think anything wrong,' and he laughed as he spoke. 'I will tell you why. Nothing can destroy my resolve.'

'My dear fellow,' I said, 'evidently you don't realize the situation.'

'Well, help me to realize it; tell me what you have in your mind.'

'First of all, a woman's love may not be won easily,--it may be she cares for some one else.'

'I will make her love me!' he cried; 'she will not be able to help herself. She will see that my love for her fills my whole being, and that I live to serve her, protect her, worship her.'

'Many men have loved in vain,' I replied; 'but, a.s.suming for the moment that you could win her love, your hopes would be still as impossible as ever.'

'Rule out the word impossible. But tell me why you believe it is so.'

'First of all, Lorna Bolivick is a young lady of position, she is a child of an old family, and when she marries she will naturally marry into her own cla.s.s.'

'Naturally; but what of that? Am I not of--of her cla.s.s?'

'Doubtless. But face facts. You have not a penny beyond your pay;--would it be fair, would it be right of you, to go to such a girl as she, reared as she has been, and offer her only poverty?'

'I will make a position,' he cried enthusiastically. 'I'm not a fool!'

'How? When?' I asked.

'For the moment I don't know how, or when,' he replied, 'but it shall be done.'

'Then think again,' I went on, 'you could not marry her without her parents' consent, and if they know your purposes they would close their doors against you. Fancy Sir Thomas Bolivick allowing his daughter to marry a man with only a subaltern's pay!'

'Number two,' he replied with a laugh; 'go on,'--and I could see that he regarded my words as of no more weight than thistledown.

'Yes, that is number two,' I replied. 'Now to come to number three. Do you think that you, alone, are strong enough to match yourself with your rivals?'

'You mean Buller and Springfield? I have told you what I think about Buller; as for Springfield, he's a bad man. Besides, if I am poor, is he not poor, too? He's only a captain.'

'Buller tells me he's the heir to a peerage,' I replied, 'and that when somebody dies he will come into pots of money. And whatever else you may think about him, he is a strong man, capable and determined. If you are right about him, and you think there's going to be a battle royal between you two, you will have a dangerous enemy, an enemy who will stop at nothing. But that is not all. The greatest difficulty has not yet been mentioned.'

'What is that?'

I hesitated before replying. I felt I was going to be cruel, and yet I could not help it.

'You have no right to ask any woman to be your wife,' I urged--'least of all a woman whom you love as you say you love Lorna Bolivick.'

'Why?' and there was a tone of anxiety in his voice.

'Because you don't know who you are, or what you are. You are, I should judge, a man thirty years of age. What your history has been you don't know. Possibly you have a wife somewhere.'

I was sorry the moment I had uttered the words, for he gave a cry almost amounting to agony.

'No, no,' he gasped, 'not that!'

'You don't know,' I said; 'the past is an utter blank to you; you have no recollection of anything which happened before you lost your memory, and----'

'No, no, not that, Lus...o...b... I am sure that if I ever married, if I ever loved a woman, I should know it,--I should feel it instinctively.'

'I am not sure. You say you have no memory of your father or mother; surely if you remembered anything you'd remember them? Now suppose,--of course it is an almost impossible contingency, but suppose you won Lorna Bolivick's consent to be your wife; suppose you obtained a position sufficiently good for Sir Thomas and Lady Bolivick to consent to your marrying her; and then suppose your memory came back, and the whole of your past were made known to you, and you discovered that there was a woman here in England, or somewhere else, whom you married years ago, and whom you loved, and who had been grieving because of your loss? Can't you see the situation?'

I could see I had impressed him. Instead of the light of resolution, there was a haunting fear in his eyes.

'I had not thought of that,' he murmured. 'Of course it is not so,--I am sure it is not so. Still, as you say, it would not be fair to submit her to a suspicion of danger.'

'Then of course you give up the thought?'

'Oh, no,' he replied. 'Of course I must think it out, and I must meet the situation; but I give up nothing--nothing.'

As I rose to leave him, McClure stood in the door of the bedroom and beckoned to me.

'Springfield and Buller are downstairs,' he whispered to me; 'they have come to lunch. Can you manage to get a chat with the fellow? It seems horrible to have such suspicions, but----'

'Yes, I understand,' I replied, noting his hesitation.

'If what is in both our minds has any foundation in fact,' he went on, 'Edgec.u.mbe should be warned. I hate talking like this, and it is just horrible.'

'I know what you feel,' I said, 'but what can we do? As we both have to admit, nothing can be proved, and it would be a crime to accuse an innocent man of such a thing.'

'Yes, I know; but the more I have thought about the matter, the more I am sure that--that--anyhow, get a chat with him. I must get back to Plymouth soon, but before I go you and I must have a further talk. This thing must be bottomed, man, must! I'll be down in a minute.'

I made my way toward the dining-room, forming plans of action as I did so. I had by this time made up my mind concerning Springfield. Whether he were guilty of what Colonel McClure had hinted at, I was not sure, but a thousand things told me that he both feared and hated my friend. How could I pierce his armour, and protect Edgec.u.mbe at the same time?