The Politician Out-Witted Part 22

FRANKTON. Disgusting vanity! [_Aside._]--No, madam,--the number of your admirers is at least equal to that of your acquaintance;--but there is only one, who sincerely _loves_, as well as admires you.

LOVEYET. Come, come, sir; none of your airs, sir:--_love_ her indeed;--why--why, she don't love _you_.

[_Ogling and winking at her, &c._

WORTHNOUGHT. Ha, ha, gudgeons all, demme;--old square toes is cursedly bit; I see that. [_Aside._

MARIA. Mr. Loveyet, I return'd the trunk to your son.

HUMPHRY. His son.--Ha, ha.

LOVEYET. Yes, yes, he told me so just now:--the poor dog was ready to jump out of his skin, when I told him he should have Harriet.

_Enter CANTWELL and HERALD._

WORTHNOUGHT. Oh, the devil!--Now shall I be blown up, like a barrel of gun-powder. [_Aside._

CANTWELL. Servant, gentlemen and ladies.--How is your daughter, Mr.

Trueman? I hope she is likely to do well.

TRUEMAN. I hope she is, madam; it is a match which we all approve.

CANTWELL. No, no, sir; I mean concerning her late affair.

HERALD. Why, young Loveyet certainly would not stoop so low, as to have her now.

TRUEMAN. 'Zounds! Why not, pray?

LOVEYET. What, in the name of ill luck, can they mean!--I hope, I--oh, there they come.

_Enter HARRIET and CHARLES LOVEYET._

CANTWELL. Oh, dear, here they are;--why she don't look as if that was the case. [_To HERALD._

TRUEMAN. I desire, ladies, to know what you mean, by these mysterious whispers.

CANTWELL. La! sir; you only want to put a body to the blush; but if you want an explanation, that gentleman [_Pointing to WORTHNOUGHT._] can give it to you.

CHARLES. The villain! [_Aside._]--I fancy _I_ could explain it as well.

WORTHNOUGHT. Hem, hem,--now comes on my trial. [_Aside._

CHARLES. But first,--your blessing, sir. [_Kneels to his father._

HARRIET. And yours, sir. [_Kneels to TRUEMAN._

LOVEYET. What,--married already!

CHARLES. This ten minutes, sir. [_Rising._

CANTWELL } AND } Married!

HERALD }

WORTHNOUGHT. Then my ill-star'd fortune is decided. [_Aside._

TRUEMAN. Upon my erudition, you have been too precipitate, Harriet; but I have no reason to think, you will repent it; you, therefore, have my sincerest benediction. [_Raising her._

MARIA. I give you joy, my dear. [_To HARRIET._

FRANKTON. Now all my fears have vanished.

[_Aside, and goes to YOUNG LOVEYET._

LOVEYET. By my body, you have made quick work of it, Charles.

CHARLES. For fear of the worst, I have. [_Aside._

LOVEYET. But--but are you in favour of the new Const.i.tution yet?

CHARLES. At present I can think of no Const.i.tution but that of Love and Matrimony, sir.

LOVEYET. And I shall be sorry if your matrimonial Const.i.tution does not prove the better one of the two.--Eigh, Maria?

WORTHNOUGHT. d.i.c.k Worthnought, esquire, thou art an a.s.s and a liar; and, what is worse than both,--as poor as poverty. Oh, Fortune, thou blind disposer of human events, when wilt thou make a man of me?

[_Going angrily._

CHARLES. Stay a little, if you please, sir.--My happiness is too great at present, to let me take that revenge, which the baseness of your conduct deserves: but justice bids me accuse you of having wickedly, and without cause, endeavoured to injure the reputation of this lady, whom it is my highest boast and felicity now to call my wife; my making her such, however, at the very time when the baneful tongue of Slander is so diligent to d.a.m.n her spotless fame,--[_Looking significantly at CANTWELL and HERALD._]--will at once convince the public of her innocence, and the cruelty of her enemies. With her, you have also injured her connexions; but I, for my own part, am fully satisfied with those symptoms of shame and repentance, which you now evince.

TRUEMAN. Upon my education, I did not think him susceptible of either.--A few minutes ago, I received this audacious epistle from him.

"Sir, I have the honour to--acquaint you--that I have an inclination--to marry your daughter,--notwithstanding--the late scandalous--reports that are transpiring to her disadvantage, and (what is still worse) the--comparative meanness--of her fortune to mine."--The comparative meanness of her fortune to mine.

HARRIET, } MARIA, } LOVEYET, } Ha, ha, ha.

CHARLES, } FRANKTON,}

WORTHNOUGHT. Never was put so much to my trumps, 'foregad.

[_Exit._

HERALD. Unmannerly wretches! [_Scornfully, and exit._

CANTWELL. Oh, the wickedness of this wicked world! [_Exit after her._

LOVEYET. Why, this is just as it should be now;--I think business goes on finely.

MARIA. You will not think so, much longer. [_Aside._

LOVEYET. By my body, I am as merry as a cricket;--an't you, Maria? For my part, I feel so well pleased, I could find in my heart to--to do as you have done;--[_To CHARLES._] cou'dn't you, my love? [_To MARIA._