The Politician Out-Witted Part 17

CHARLES. Indeed, sir, I am not that person.

LOVEYET. How!--Was you not with Harriet Trueman, this morning?

CHARLES. Yes, sir; but I have no intention to supplant your son, I a.s.sure you; on the contrary, it is the supreme wish of my heart, that his love may be rewarded with so rich a treasure as the amiable Harriet.

LOVEYET. He shall be rewarded with a much richer one, if he is wise enough to think so.

CHARLES. If it be wisdom to prefer another to Harriet, then may I ever remain a fool! [_Aside._

LOVEYET. But pray, sir, what is your business with me?

CHARLES. My business is first to know if you have any objection to my marrying Miss Trueman, sir.

LOVEYET. What a paradoxical fellow this is! [_Aside._]--Did not you this minute say, you did not intend to have her?

CHARLES. I did not, sir; I mean to have her if possible, and that without disappointing your son; but I shall explain myself better, by telling you who I am. Look at me well, sir--did you never see such a face before?

LOVEYET. I hope I am not talking to a lunatic! [_Aside._]--Yes, I saw you this morning.

CHARLES. Did you never see me before that, sir?

LOVEYET. [_Looks at him steadfastly._] Yes,--I'm sure I have; and I'm very much mistaken, if--yes, that reconciles all his strange conduct;--it must be so;--it is Charles himself.

CHARLES. My father!

[_Embracing him._

LOVEYET. And are you indeed my son?

CHARLES. I hope I am, sir; and as such, I thus kneel to obtain forgiveness for deceiving you so.

[_Kneels._

LOVEYET. Rise up my lad;--by my body, I am rejoic'd to see you;--you did take your father in a little, to be sure; but never mind it;--I'll take you in another way, perhaps.

CHARLES. I wish you would take me in the matrimonial way, sir;--that would be a most agreeable take in.

LOVEYET. Well, well, we shall not disagree about that:--I am very happy this affair clears up Harriet's conduct so well; she is a fine girl, that's certain; and, if you love her as much as you formerly did, why--I don't know what I may not do.

CHARLES. Oh, sir, you make me unspeakably happy! If my Love is to be the condition of the welcome Bond, I do not care if it is executed to-morrow; for, were the penalty an age of love, I am sure I could pay it.

LOVEYET. By my body, I'll have a wedding soon, and a merry one too:--I'll go and make it up with old Trueman;--but then he must not talk of the Const.i.tution.--That's true, Charles, what government are you for, eigh?--The old or the new?

CHARLES. Sir?

LOVEYET. I say, which Const.i.tution do you like best?

CHARLES. What the mischief shall I say!--Now Love befriend me. [_Aside._]

Since you seem desirous of knowing my opinion on this subject, sir; I must candidly tell you, I am decidedly in favour of the new Const.i.tution.

LOVEYET. Hah--the new Const.i.tution!--A good-for-nothing, corrupted, aristocratic profligate!--But you shall not have her now; that is as fixed as fate.

CHARLES. Oh, cruel event! How soon all my towering hopes fall prostrate in the dust!--Do, sir, try and think better of the matter;--I will promise to make myself think or do anything you please, rather than have the double misfortune to offend my father, and lose my Harriet.

LOVEYET. Base foe to the liberties of his country!

CHARLES. It is very strange, sir, that you should be so violent about such matters, at your time of life.

LOVEYET. Hah! do you dare?--Yes, he wants to provoke me still more;--to talk to me about my time of life! Why, I'm not old enough for your father, you great whelp you:--Ungracious young b.a.s.t.a.r.d,--to have the a.s.surance to ridicule his father!--Out of my house, you 'scape-grace!

CHARLES. Unnatural usage for so trivial an offense!--But I obey you, sir: I'll remain no longer in the house of a father, who is so dest.i.tute of a father's feelings; and since I see you value my happiness so little, sir, I shall not think myself undutiful, if I take some necessary steps to promote it myself.

LOVEYET. Out of my house, I say!--Promote your own happiness, forsooth; did you ever know any one to be happy without money, you fool?--And what will you do, if I don't choose to give you any, eigh?

CHARLES. As well as I can:--I have a few of your unnecessary thousands in my hands, thank fortune;--I'll try if _they_ will not befriend me, if their avaricious owner, and my unnatural parent will not.

[_Aside, and exit._

LOVEYET. My time of life, indeed.--Provoking profligate!--I'll give Miss Airy all I'm worth, if she'll consent to have him;--the graceless fellow has us'd me so ill, that he shall be punish'd for it.

[_Exit._

_End of the Fourth Act._

ACT V.

SCENE I. _A Street._

_Enter YOUNG LOVEYET, HUMPHRY, and a NEGRO with a trunk on his head._

LOVEYET. Did you hear him say so?

HUMPHRY. Yes; he said how he was intend you should have Miss Mary Airy, or Airy Mary, or some such a name.

LOVEYET. Say you so, father?--I believe I shall do myself the pleasure to baulk you. I want you to go a little way with my man; but you will be sure to make no mistake.

HUMPHRY. No, no, never fear me; I an't so apt for to make blunders as you.

LOVEYET. [_Looking at his watch._] 'Sdeath! I should have been with her half an hour ago.--I know I can depend on you. Here, Cuffy, go with this gentleman.

HUMPHRY. Why, if I _am_ a gentleman, Mr. Cuffy needn't give himself the trouble;--I can carry it myself.

CUFFY. Tankee, ma.s.sa buckaraw; you gi me lilly lif, me bery glad;--disa ting damma heby. [_Puts down the trunk._]--An de debelis crooka tone in a treet more worsa naw p.r.i.c.ka pear for poor son a b.i.t.c.h foot; an de cole pinch um so too!--

LOVEYET. No, no, you shall carry it;--your head is harder than his.