The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D Volume Ii Part 23

[Footnote 3: He was Dean of Windsor, and lord privy seal.]

[Footnote 4: The New Style, which was not adopted in Great Britain and Ireland till it was brought in by Lord Chesterfield in 1752, was then Observed in most parts of Europe. The bishop set out from England the Latter end of December, O. S.; and on his arrival at Utrecht, by the Variation of the style, he found January somewhat advanced.]

[Footnote 5: Alluding to the deanery and bishopric being possessed by the same person, then at Utrecht.]

[Footnote 6: Earl of Nottingham.]

[Footnote 7: Duke of Marlborough.]

[Footnote 8: The treasurer's wand, taken from Harley, whose second t.i.tle was Lord _Mortimer_.]

[Footnote 9: The d.u.c.h.ess of Somerset.[1]]

[Footnote 10: Count Konigsmark.[2]]

[Footnote 11: ANNA.]

[Footnote 12: MASHAM.]

[Footnote 13: Lady Masham's maiden name.]

[embedded footnote 1: She had red hair, _post_, 165. ]

[embedded footnote 2: Or Coningsmark.]

CORINNA,[1] A BALLAD 1711-12

This day (the year I dare not tell) Apollo play'd the midwife's part; Into the world Corinna fell, And he endued her with his art.

But Cupid with a Satyr comes; Both softly to the cradle creep; Both stroke her hands, and rub her gums, While the poor child lay fast asleep.

Then Cupid thus: "This little maid Of love shall always speak and write;"

"And I p.r.o.nounce," the Satyr said, "The world shall feel her scratch and bite."

Her talent she display'd betimes; For in a few revolving moons, She seem'd to laugh and squall in rhymes, And all her gestures were lampoons.

At six years old, the subtle jade Stole to the pantry-door, and found The butler with my lady's maid: And you may swear the tale went round.

She made a song, how little miss Was kiss'd and s...o...b..r'd by a lad: And how, when master went to p--, Miss came, and peep'd at all he had.

At twelve, a wit and a coquette; Marries for love, half wh.o.r.e, half wife; Cuckolds, elopes, and runs in debt; Turns auth.o.r.ess, and is Curll's for life.

Her common-place book all gallant is, Of scandal now a cornucopia; She pours it out in Atalantis Or memoirs of the New Utopia.

[Footnote 1: This ballad refers to some details in the life of Mrs. de la Riviere Manley, a political writer, who was born about 1672, and died in July, 1724. The work by which she became famous was "Secret memoirs and manners of several persons of quality of both s.e.xes, from the New Atalantis." She was Swift's amanuensis and a.s.sistant in "The Examiner,"

and succeeded him as Editor. In his Journal to Stella, Jan. 26, 1711-12, he writes: "Poor Mrs. Manley, the author, is very ill of a dropsy and sore leg; the printer tells me he is afraid she cannot live long. I am heartily sorry for her. She has very generous principles for one of her sort; and a great deal of good sense and invention: She is about forty, very homely and very fat." Swift's subsequent severe attack upon her in these verses can only be accounted for, but cannot be excused by, some change in his political views. See "The Tatler," Nos. 35, 63, _edit.

1786.--W. E. B._]

THE FABLE OF MIDAS.[1] 1711-12

Collated with Stella's copy.--_Forster_.

Midas, we are in story told,[2]

Turn'd every thing he touch'd to gold: He chipp'd his bread; the pieces round Glitter'd like spangles on the ground: A codling, ere it went his lip in, Would straight become a golden pippin.

He call'd for drink; you saw him sup Potable gold in golden cup: His empty paunch that he might fill, He suck'd his victuals thro' a quill.

Untouch'd it pa.s.s'd between his grinders, Or't had been happy for gold-finders: He c.o.c.k'd his hat, you would have said Mambrino's[3] helm adorn'd his head; Whene'er he chanced his hands to lay On magazines of corn or hay, Gold ready coin'd appear'd instead Of paltry provender and bread; Hence, we are by wise farmers told[4]

Old hay is equal to old gold:[5]

And hence a critic deep maintains We learn'd to weigh our gold by grains.

This fool had got a lucky hit; And people fancied he had wit, Two G.o.ds their skill in music tried And both chose Midas to decide: He against Ph[oelig]bus' harp decreed, And gave it for Pan's oaten reed: The G.o.d of wit, to show his grudge, Clapt a.s.ses' ears upon the judge, A goodly pair, erect and wide, Which he could neither gild nor hide.

And now the virtue of his hands Was lost among Pactolus' sands, Against whose torrent while he swims The golden scurf peels off his limbs: Fame spreads the news, and people travel From far, to gather golden gravel; Midas, exposed to all their jeers, Had lost his art, and kept his ears.

This tale inclines the gentle reader To think upon a certain leader; To whom, from Midas down, descends That virtue in the fingers' ends.

What else by perquisites are meant, By pensions, bribes, and three per cent.?

By places and commissions sold, And turning dung itself to gold?

By starving in the midst of store, As t'other Midas did before?

None e'er did modern Midas chuse Subject or patron of his muse, But found him thus their merit scan, That Phoebus must give place to Pan: He values not the poet's praise, Nor will exchange his plums [6] for bays.

To Pan alone rich misers call; And there's the jest, for Pan is ALL.

Here English wits will be to seek, Howe'er, 'tis all one in the Greek.

Besides, it plainly now appears Our Midas, too, has a.s.s's ears: Where every fool his mouth applies, And whispers in a thousand lies; Such gross delusions could not pa.s.s Thro' any ears but of an a.s.s.

But gold defiles with frequent touch, There's nothing fouls the hand so much; And scholars give it for the cause Of British Midas' dirty paws; Which, while the senate strove to scour, They wash'd away the chemic power.[7]

While he his utmost strength applied, To swim against this popular tide, The golden spoils flew off apace, Here fell a pension, there a place: The torrent merciless imbibes Commissions, perquisites, and bribes, By their own weight sunk to the bottom; Much good may't do 'em that have caught 'em!

And Midas now neglected stands, With a.s.s's ears, and dirty hands.

[Footnote 1: This cutting satire upon the Duke of Marlborough was written about the time when he was deprived of his employments. See Journal to Stella, Feb. 14, 1711-12, "Prose Works," ii, 337.]

[Footnote 2: Ovid, "Met.," lib. xi; Hyginus, "Fab." 191.--_W. E. B._]

[Footnote 3: Almonte and Mambrino, two Saracens of great valour, had each a golden helmet. Orlando Furioso took Almonte's, and his friend Rinaldo that of Mambrino. "Orlando Furioso," Canto I, St. 28. And readers of "Don Quixote" may remember how the knight argued with Sancho Panza that the barber's bason was the helmet of Mambrino.--"Don Quixote," pt. I, book 3, ch. 7.--_W. E. B._]

[Footnote 4: Stella.]

[Footnote 5: The Duke of Marlborough was accused of having received large sums, as perquisites, from the contractors, who furnished bread, forage, etc., to the army.--_Scott_.]

[Footnote 6: Scott prints this word "plumes," subst.i.tuting a false meaning for the real point of the poem.--_Forster_.]

[Footnote 7: The result of the investigations of the House of Commons was the removal of the Duke of Marlborough from his command, and all his employments.--_Scott_.]

TOLAND'S INVITATION TO DISMAL[1] TO DINE WITH THE CALVES' HEAD CLUB