The Phoenix Pack: Feral Sins Part 15

"Good," she said as she hopped down from the chair. "That means you'll be a long way away from me because I'm about to leave the room." She picked up the chair and carried it through the tunnel toward the kitchen, deliberately ignoring Trey who was trailing behind her. Tao wasn't far behind him. She returned the chair to the dining table and put the duster back in the cupboard before going to the sink to wash her hands. Noticing there were a few mugs and dishes on the counter, she stacked them into the sink and filled it with hot soapy water.

"What is it, baby? Tell me what's wrong."

That was now the fourth time he had called her 'baby'. Cheeky b.a.s.t.a.r.d. If he thought he could block out her existence but then expect her to still confide in him he was seriously mistaken. Taryn would have told him that, but she didn't want to argue with him, she just wanted him to go back to his hidey hole and leave her to grieve her mother in peace.

Taryn knew that her method of grieving wasn't normal, that shutting off from the world around you while your body went on autopilot and you disappeared in your thoughts and memories was not good. It was the same state she had slipped into when her mom and Joey were in the accident. Although she had eventually dug her way out of it, she always tended to retreat whenever it was the anniversary of their death or either of their birthdays. It was just how she coped. The only way she could cope without screaming.

But having Trey around her someone who frustrated and annoyed the h.e.l.l out of her and had her wolf all messed up was threatening the stability of her seemingly indifferent state. All that frustration and annoyance that she had been shoving aside was at risk of bursting out of her. If that happened, she would break. She couldn't afford to do that.

"Come on, leave those and come sit with me."

Ignoring him in the hope that he would go away, Taryn continued scrubbing the dishes.

"Taryn, you can't tell me you're not upset about something."

Realising he was closer now, she warned in a low voice, "Back off, Trey."

"Back off?"

"Yes."

"You want me to back off?" It was one thing when Trey a.s.sumed she just didn't want to talk about whatever it was that was bugging her, but it was another thing altogether for her to want to freeze him out.

"Yes, I want you to leave me alone. It shouldn't be too hard. You do it easily enough any other time."

"Is that what this is about? You're mad at me for not spending time with you?"

A short humorless laugh escaped her. "Yes because the world revolves around you."

"Then what is it?"

"Like I said, just back off."

"I won't back off. Not until you tell me what's wrong."

Deep breaths, she told herself. And those deep breaths actually worked. The tension didn't leave her body, but it eased a little. Until hands wrapped around her middle as a large body pressed against her back and, making it even worse, he whispered into her ear 'What's wrong, baby?'

There was that word again! Something inside her snapped. Abruptly she spun, splashing water everywhere. Shocked, Trey jumped back out of the way. "Didn't I tell you to back off? I'm pretty sure that's what I said."

He held his hands up in a calming gesture. "Taryn -"

"Just stay away from me. That's all I'm asking you to do. It's something you do every single f.u.c.king day so why on this one day that I really need a little alone time am I suddenly of interest to you?!"

"I just want to know what's wrong."

"Well that's tough s.h.i.t, psycho boy, because I don't want to talk to you!" Seeing that people were starting to gather was only making her worse. She suddenly felt like a cornered animal, like everyone was taking up her breathing s.p.a.ce. Growling, she wiped her hands on the hand towel and then stalked toward the door. The crowd quickly parted, apparently not daring to intervene.

"Where're you going?"

"Away from you!"

Trey jogged down the tunnel after her. "Oh no, you don't get to shut me out like this. You're my mate."

She pivoted on the spot. "No, I'm not."

"What did you just say?" he asked softly but in a very dangerous tone.

"We don't count as mates if you only act like it when it suits you. But, hey, don't get me wrong if putting on act for other people is as far as it goes for you, then that's fine. But don't you dare throw that 'you're my mate' s.h.i.t at me when I won't do what you want!"

He knew she was right, but the denial was automatic. "You are my mate, Taryn."

"Is it fun in La La Land? It must be, because you go there a lot." Out of patience, she spun and began stalking away.

"For G.o.d's sake, Taryn, will you stop walking away from me." Trey honestly wasn't sure what happened...He'd reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder and then next thing he knew he was flat on his back on the ground and Taryn was snarling down at him. d.a.m.n the woman knew some good moves.

"Back. Off," she growled. She looked up at the others who were slowly edging toward them, their expressions unsure. "All of you back off! I want to be alone!" Then she was striding out the main door, down the mountain, across the small open field and into the forest.

Many times she had gone on a leisurely walk or a run through here with Tao, but never had she gone as far as she intended to go today. Plenty of times she had heard the sound of the river in the distance, had known it was there and known that one day she would really need to go there for some alone time.

The River Kids that was what her mom and Joey's mom had called them. Some kids liked beaches, some kids liked swing parks, and she and Joey had liked rivers. No, they'd loved rivers. Loved the sounds, loved the surrounding wildlife, loved paddling in the shallow water and balancing on old tree branches that crossed the expanse of the river. There was something calming about them, she thought. Right now, she needed to calm the h.e.l.l down.

On eventually reaching the river she found a bolder to perch herself on and took a deep, cleansing, calming breath. Again and again she filled her lungs with the fresh crispy forest air, letting it relax her. The familiar smells of wet earth and pine made her wolf ease a little within her. It was amazing how a place could relax you even as a barrage of sad memories. .h.i.t you, mused Taryn.

A familiar guttural 'tock' sound snagged her attention and made her look to the tree beside her. "Hey LJ," she said around the frog in her throat. Why the bird followed her around sometimes she had no idea, but that had been another thing that she and Joey used to marvel at together the way birds were so at ease with her, almost attracted to her.

Hey Joe. I know that I shouldn't always come to you whenever I need to talk to someone, that I should actually try confiding in people who are alive...but they'd be able to tell me to shut up. And in truth, you're all I have.

As much as I really like these people here with the exception of a few, including the evil and very senile version of Yoda I still don't feel like I can really talk to them. Not even to say 'hey I miss my mom'. Actually, no, it's not that I don't feel like I can talk to them, it's that I don't want to start opening up to them and getting too comfortable here. Snort. Not that there's really much chance of me getting comfortable with psycho boy around.

You know, I used to look at mated couples and I'd think how amazing it must be, that once you mated you'd never feel alone ever again because that person would become a part of you. I mean, I know that my mating with Trey doesn't count in an emotional sense, but I still didn't expect this feeling of being...trapped. I'm bound to someone who won't even touch me socially, who deliberately avoids me unless I want to be left alone, apparently I'm interesting to him then and who has my wolf enthralled. And how is it that he's able to get my wolf so enthralled with him anyway? That shouldn't be possible. She's such a traitor sometimes.

It's freaking s.h.i.t, the lot of it. I should be able to turn around to the person I'm mated to, even if it's only temporary, and say 'you know what, it's my mom's birthday today and I miss her', but I don't even feel like I can talk to him like that. See, you really are all I have.

A noise in the distance pulled her from her conversation with Joey. So she hadn't been left alone after all, and they apparently thought she wouldn't realize this. Oh the b.a.s.t.a.r.ds.

So this was what Taryn had been feeling like, mused Trey as he sat at the kitchen table tapping his fingers on the surface. It hadn't occurred to him that by establishing a distance between them it could actually be a bad thing, that it could actually hurt her. But the way Taryn had froze him out, walked away from him, pulled away from his touch...it hurt.

She was his mate. No, not of the soul or heart, but she was still his mate and she had ordered him away from her. She had rejected his comfort. Generally he wasn't a guy who offered comfort, but this was his mate. And she didn't want him. A part of him knew that it shouldn't hurt this much, but he didn't want to think on that or he would have to address the question of why it hurt like this.

What bothered him more than any of that was that she was clearly nursing some sort of emotional ache. One strong enough to make her withdraw from everyone and everything around her. His strong Taryn was close to breaking and he couldn't do a d.a.m.n thing about it. That sense of helplessness was eating at both him and his wolf, increasing his need to find her and soothe her.

Suddenly Tao appeared, panting. "Trey, we got a problem."

Instantly he was on his feet. "What?"

"Taryn. I can't find her."

"What do you mean you can't find her?"

"I did what you said I stayed a good distance away but was close enough to hear if there was a problem. Maybe she heard me and got p.i.s.sed off that someone had followed her, I don't know, but I can't find her."

"s.h.i.t." So a large party of them searched. Searched every single inch of the forest, checked every tree, even the river. But there was no sign of her. It was obvious she had stopped at the river for a while, but then she seemed to have done a runner while covering her tracks. And d.a.m.n if she wasn't good at covering her tracks.

With each minute Trey became more concerned and his wolf grew more restless, understanding that his mate was hurting and missing. For a split second, Trey had wondered if she'd done something stupid while so emotional, but the thought left his head instantly. Taryn would never take the coward's way out of anything.

"Okay," said Dante as they came to a halt outside the forest. "Let's put ourselves in Taryn's shoes. She wanted to be alone. Nothing more than that, right?"

"Yes, so she came out here," said Trick.

"But we wouldn't let her be. And I doubt that while she was in that foul mood she was too pleased about her simple wish being ignored like that."

"Definitely not," agreed Marcus, "but she didn't come and verbally kick our a.s.ses and that doesn't sound like her."

"It's worth pointing out that she wasn't at all herself," said Dominic with a shrug.

"But she will have been utterly p.i.s.sed and insulted by the idea that we thought we could still follow her and think she wouldn't know," said Tao.

"Do you think maybe she's been teaching us a little lesson about how not stupid she is?" asked Ryan.

It fell into place suddenly. Trey smiled. "Something like that. She's been leading us on a merry chase. I know where she is."

Everyone's expressions begged 'Where?'

"She's back inside the caves. I'll put money on it. She'll have known that if she made it look as though she was missing, we'd come out searching for her."

"Leaving the caves empty apart from a few," said Ryan.

"And giving her what she wanted," finished Trey, "the simple chance to be alone." It was a brilliant plan, he had to admit it. She had totally played them, and played them well.

"s.h.i.t," cursed Trick. "I can't believe we've been out here for hours and she's been in the house all along. You're sure?"

"It sounds like something she'd do," said Marcus.

It turned out that it was exactly what she'd done, although at first Trey had wondered if he'd been wrong as she hadn't been in the kitchen or living area or in their bedroom. If he hadn't picked up her scent in the second floor tunnels, he might have ended up back on that merry chase.

Following her scent, he soon found himself outside one of the guest bedrooms not that they ever had guests. There were no sounds coming from inside, but he was certain that she was in there. Slowly and quietly he turned the doork.n.o.b and opened the door. His chest tightened at the sight before him. Taryn was curled up on the bed, asleep, with dried tears on her red cheeks. She was cuddling something, he noticed a few seconds later.

As he carefully closed the door and crept closer he realized that it was a s...o...b..x. One that she had had for a while if the bad state of the cardboard was anything to go by. Curious, he sat beside her and gently took the faded-white box from between her now limp arms. As he removed the lid, his chest tightened again. Inside were nothing more than inconsequential little things like a net-bag of marbles, a large shiny stone, a plastic engagement-type ring, a miniature plush bear, and some homemade Christmas cards and birthday cards and other bits and pieces. But these little things meant everything to Taryn because they had obviously either belonged to her true mate or been given to her by him.

Spotting a little velvet book he flipped it open and realized it was actually a photo alb.u.m. Even as a little girl Taryn's hair had had all those different shades running through it. She looked just as fiery and energetic. The kid who Trey guessed was Joey had clearly been besotted with her. On every picture he was standing protectively close to her, hugging her or holding her hand. Trey wasn't proud of the twinge of jealousy he felt at how the little kid had been more or less born with rights to her.

Inside the final two photo sleeves were small laminated cards. One had a picture of the kid on, along with his date of birth and the date he had died with a small sort of 'rest in peace' type message. On the other was a picture of a woman who looked uncannily like Taryn. Her mom, he quickly realized, noting that the date of her death matched the date of the kid's. And then something else registered in his brain. Her mother's birthday...it would have been today.

Well s.h.i.t. He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut as it dawned on him. She had been grieving her mom today, had been probably screaming inside as the agony tormented her, but instead of coming to him her mate for any kind of comfort or even to just confide in him or cry on his shoulder, she had retreated within herself.

Because she hadn't felt like she could come to him, had probably thought that he wouldn't want her to.

Then when he, like a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, refused to give her the s.p.a.ce she needed, she had finally sought comfort. The fact that the only place she thought she could find it was from a s...o...b..x filled with memories of her dead true mate was like a blow to Trey's gut. A blow he deserved.

Guilt knifed through him as he thought on how much of a p.r.i.c.k he had been to Taryn. Dante was right. Although this mating was temporary it didn't mean that Trey should be able to just cast her aside. She had become his responsibility the second he claimed her, but all he'd done was try to escape that responsibility just because he got a little spooked by his wolf and some primal instincts. He had frozen her out just as she had done to him today. The feelings of rejection, anger and desolation he had experienced earlier were things that she had obviously been suffering with all this time. In total silence.

s.h.i.t, she hadn't deserved that, hadn't deserved his cold shoulder, especially when she was being so loyal to their deal.

It was a wonder that she hadn't left it wasn't as if she couldn't have snuck off. It was clear by the way she had led them on a merry chase and covered her tracks so well that she had the ability to at least try to make a run for it. It wasn't as though fear of him kept her here. She hadn't once expressed any fear of him, not even when his wolf had gone feral. Although Roscoe was dead and she didn't need Trey anymore, she had stayed to fulfil her end of the deal. Even though he'd been a total a.s.s. Even though his grandmother constantly strove to make her feel unwelcome. Even though it meant having to lie to her friends and repeatedly claim that her true mate had been nothing but a good friend.

One thing was for sure she was a better person than he would ever be. She was someone that any male would be proud to have as their mate, temporary or not.

He wished she was his true mate even though that made him an absolute b.a.s.t.a.r.d where his actual true mate was concerned. But she had just been a baby. A tiny screaming baby who had been dumped in his arms while her mom rooted through her handbag for keys. The second she had landed in his arms she had stopped wailing and looked up at him. The next thing he knew, her mom was flapping excitedly saying stuff like 'instant connection' and 'true mate'.

Instead of being happy, he'd been scared. At fourteen years old, it had felt too d.a.m.n weird to him to be told he had a strong bond to a tiny little baby. It had even made him feel a little ill. The fact that he hadn't felt the tug of the bond made the whole thing worse, reminding him just how closed off he actually was. So he had stayed away from her and kept totally quiet about it. Her mom had promised to give him time to get used to the idea before telling anyone. But then two months later she'd fell asleep in her cradle and hadn't woken up.

Unlike Taryn, he'd never had a chance to know his true mate. The only picture he had of her was the one in his mind, and that image was of a little baby with the same baby features that most babies had. He had been disloyal to that little girl from the second he found her. He didn't have anything at all that had once belonged to her, didn't even have any memories of her. Taryn, on the other hand...she had kept her true mate's memory alive as best she could. But for Trey and for the deal she had made with him, she had publically renounced that kid who she'd adored and who had obviously adored her in return.

And Trey had trampled all over her and her feelings, being as neglectful to her as he had been of his true mate.

Well enough of that s.h.i.t. The mating might be temporary but for as long as this female was here she was his to respect and care for and protect especially to protect from him and his a.s.shole ways. It was the least she deserved, but more than that, it was what he wanted. He knew that even if by some miracle he was to mate someone permanently in the future, this temporary mating he had with Taryn would probably be the closest he would ever get to having a true mate, because she was everything he would have wanted and he doubted he would ever meet anyone like her.

Placing the s...o...b..x on the floor, Trey carefully lay down behind her and locked his arm around her waist as he curled his body around hers. His wolf released a rumbly growl of contentedness, but right now Trey wasn't doing this to appease his wolf or feed a hunger. He was doing it because Trey the man wanted to hold her.

If it hadn't been for the hunger pang in her stomach, Taryn probably wouldn't have woken. Not while she was so comfortable and warm and relaxed. And certainly not while her wolf was so at ease having Trey snuggling up to her. Wait, what? Instantly her eyes shot open and she tensed.

"You wouldn't believe how many times I've woke up to find myself curled around you like this."

She would have told him to f.u.c.k off and give her the breathing room she had asked for no, demanded but there was something different about his voice. The gruffness she had gotten used to was gone. There was a new softness to his tone, a tenderness she hadn't heard before. Both of which she had to be imagining along with the hand that was affectionately fondling her hair.

"I'm really sorry about your mom."

She stiffened even more. "You went through the s...o...b..x." Through her very personal things. She was just getting ready to snap at him for it when he surprised her by brushing her hair aside so he could kiss along her neck. d.a.m.n if her neck wasn't hypersensitive.

"You look a lot like her." He kissed his way up the curve of her neck and grazed his teeth over her ear before sucking the lobe into his mouth, eliciting a gasp from her. "I love how responsive you are."

"Okay this is where you explain to me what the h.e.l.l you're doing." She had meant to sound abrupt and firm but the words had come out kind of breathy. "I asked to be alone."

"And I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to be around me either." Wanting her soft and relaxed so that she didn't bolt before he had a chance to talk to her and just because he liked to taste and touch her skin he continue to kiss her neck and ear while at the same time snaking his fingers beneath her sweater to caress her stomach. "You have the softest skin."

"Now I'm really confused. What is this? Your idea of comforting me?" She didn't want him touching her because he felt sorry for her. In fact, she didn't want him touching her at all, or at least that was what she told herself.

"This is me saying I realize I've been a p.r.i.c.k and it's going to stop."

"What?"

As he swiped his tongue over his mark she shuddered, deeply satisfying both him and his wolf. "I shouldn't have kept my distance from you the way I did. I shouldn't have frozen you out."

"No you've been doing the right thing by trying to keep a distance. We don't want to imprint." It was getting hard to follow the conversation now that his touch was becoming less gentle and more seductive.

"Just because we don't want to imprint on each other doesn't mean I should be delegating you to someone else like you're a duty. There is a halfway measure between keeping a distance and imprinting."

"And what's that?"