The Palmy Days of Nance Oldfield Part 5

Charles, stand by me. Must not a man be a vain c.o.xcomb now, to think this creature follow'd one?

"SIR CHARLES. Nothing so plain, my lord.

"FOP. Flattering devil."

_Enter_ LADY BETTY.

"LADY BETTY. Pshah, my Lord Foppington! Pr'ythee don't play the fool now, but give me my snuff-box. Sir Charles, help me to take it from him.

"SIR CHARLES. You know I hate trouble, madame.

"LADY BETTY. Pooh! you'll make me stay still; prayers are half over now.

"FOP. If you'll promise me not to go to church, I'll give it you.

"LADY BETTY. I'll promise nothing at all, for positively I will have it. [_Struggling with him_.

"FOP. Then comparatively I won't part with it, ha! ha!

[_Struggles with her_.

"LADY BETTY. O you devil, you have kill'd my arm! Oh! Well--if you'll let me have it, I'll give you a better.

"MORE. [_Aside to_ SIR CHARLES.] O Charles! that has a view of distant kindness in it.

"FOP. Nay, now I keep it superlatively. I find there's a secret value in it.

"LADY BETTY. O dismal! upon my word, I am only ashamed to give it you.

Do you think I wou'd offer such an odious fancy'd thing to anybody I had the least value for?

"SIR CHARLES. [_Aside to_ LORD MORELOVE.] Now it comes a little nearer, methinks it does not seem to be any kindness at all.

"FOP. Why, really, madame, upon second view, it has not extremely the mode of a lady's utensil: are you sure it never held anything but snuff?

"LADY BETTY. O! you monster!

"FOP. Nay, I only ask because it seems to me to have very much the air and fancy of Monsieur Smoakandfot's tobacco-box.

"MORE. I can bear no more.

"SIR CHARLES. Why don't then; I'll step into the company and return to your relief immediately.

[_Exit_.

"MORE. [_To_ LADY BETTY.] Come, madame, will your ladyship give me leave to end the difference? Since the slightness of the thing may let you bestow it without any mark of favour, shall I beg it of your ladyship?

"LADY BETTY. O my lord, no body sooner. I beg you give it my lord.

[_Looking earnestly on_ LORD FOPPINGTON, _who, smiling, gives it to_ LORD MORELOVE _and then bows gravely to her_].

"MORE. Only to have the honour of restoring it to your lordship; and if there be any other trifle of mine your lordship has a fancy to, tho' it were a mistress, I don't know any person in the world who has so good a claim to my resignation."

In the hands of Powell, Cibber, and Oldfield this scene must have had all the sparkle of champagne; but let us hope, speaking of wine, that the prince of paragons, Morelove, was perfectly sober. Or shall we say comparatively sober?--for when bibulous George had just a dash of spirits within him (and that was nearly always) there came a roseate hue to his acting which rather added to its romantic colour. Sometimes this colour was laid on too garishly, as the supply of fire-water happened to be larger,[A] and Sir John Vanbrugh has himself left it on record that Powell, as Worthy, came well nigh spoiling the original production of the "Relapse." "I own," writes Sir John, "the first night this thing was acted, some indecencies had like to have happened; but it was not my fault. The fine gentleman of the play, drinking his mistress's health in Nantes brandy, from six in the morning to the time he waddled up upon the stage in the evening, had toasted himself up to such a pitch of vigour, I confess I once gave up Amanda for gone; and am since, with all due respect to Mrs. Rogers, very sorry she escaped; for I am confident a certain lady (let no one take it to herself that is handsome) who highly blames the play, for the barrenness of the conclusion, would then have allowed it a very natural close." It should be added that the Mrs. Rogers herein mentioned as playing Amanda was a capable tragic actress whose ambition it was to enact none but virtuous women. Her own virtue--but we are dipping into scandal.[B]

[Footnote A: To the folly of intoxication he added the horrors of debt, and was so hunted by the sheriffs' officers that he usually walked the streets with a sword (sheathed) in his hand; and if he saw any of them at a distance, he would roar out, "Get on the other side of the way, you dog!" The bailiff, who knew his old customer, would obligingly answer, "We do not want you _now_, Master Powell." EDMUND BELLCHAMBERS.]

[Footnote B: Her fondness for virtue on the stage she began to think might persuade the world that it had made an impression on her private life; and the appearance of it actually went so far that, in an epilogue to an obscure play, the profits of which were given to her, and wherein she acted a part of impregnable chast.i.ty, she bespoke the favour of the ladies by a protestation that in honour of their goodness and virtue she would dedicate her unblemished life to their example. Part of this vestal vow, I remember, was contained in the following verse:--

"Study to live the character I play."

But alas! how weak are the strongest works of art when Nature besieges it.--CIBBER.]

As for the "Careless Husband," the more one reads from it the more cause is there to regret the utter hopelessness of reviving a play so honeycombed by inuendo. How delightfully, for instance, would some of the badinage between Morelove and the spirited Lady Betty have been treated in the earlier days of the Daly Company, with John Drew and Miss Rehan as the lovers. We can picture the two, as they would have given the following lines, the one gentlemanly and effective, the other imperious, liquid-voiced, and radiant of humour:

"MORELOVE. Do you know, madame, I have just found out, that upon your account I have made myself one of the most ridiculous puppies upon the face of the earth--I have upon my faith! Nay, and so extravagantly such--ha! ha! ha!--that it's at last become a jest even to myself; and I can't help laughing at it for the soul of me; ha! ha! ha!

"LADY BETTY. [_Aside_.] I want to cure him of that laugh now. My lord, since you are so generous, I'll tell you another secret. Do you know, too, that I still find (spite of all your great wisdom, and my contemptible qualities, as you are pleased now and then to call them), do you know, I say, that I see under all this, you still love me with the same helpless pa.s.sion; and can your vast foresight imagine I won't use you accordingly, for these extraordinary airs you are pleased to give yourself.' [Talk of the independence of the 'New Woman.' Who could have been more self-a.s.sertive than this eighteenth century belle?]

"MORE. O by all means, madame, 'tis as you should, and I expect it whenever it is in your power. [_Aside_] Confusion!

"LADY BETTY. My lord, you have talked to me this half-hour without confessing pain. [_Pauses and affects to gape_.] Only remember it.

"MORE. h.e.l.l and tortures!

"LADY BETTY. What did you say, my lord?

"MORE. Fire and furies!

"LADY BETTY. Ha! ha! he's disorder'd. Now I am easy. My Lord Foppington, have you a mind to your revenge at piquet?

"FOP. I have always a mind to an opportunity of entertaining your ladyship, madame.

[LADY BETTY _coquets with_ LORD FOPPINGTON.

"MORE. O Charles, the insolence of this woman might furnish out a thousand devils.

"SIR CHARLES. And your temper is enough to furnish a thousand such women. Come away--I have business for you upon the terrace.

"MORE. Let me but speak one word to her.

"SIR CHARLES. Not a syllable; the tongue's a weapon you always have the worst at. For I see you have no guard, and she carries a devilish edge.

"LADY BETTY. My lord, don't let anything I've said frighten you away; for if you have the least inclination to stay and rail, you know the old conditions; 'tis but your asking me pardon next day, and you may give your pa.s.sion any liberty you think fit.

"MORE. Daggers and death! [What a picturesque, old-fashioned oath, is it not? "Daggers and death!" Writers of English melodramas, please take notice.]