The Old Yellow Book Part 10

I tell you, do not be surprised if my mother was at the window, because she was looking at the one who was setting the sofa in order.

And therefore you can pa.s.s here without fear. When more at my leisure, I will write you some fine matters, etc. When they tell me anything, I will advise you of it.

My Adored Mirtillo, My own Life:

I pray you pardon me that I did not look at you yesterday when I was at the Cappucchini, because I saw that the two were watching to see if I would look at you. Therefore I suffered much pain in not being able to look at my Sun. But I saw mine own with my heart, in which I have you engraved. I remain as I am and shall be

Your devoted servant and faithful sweetheart, AMARILLIS.

My well-beloved:

I have received your letter, which has given me much pain, etc., that the Jealous One might have seen the letters. And he did see them, but did not open them, because they were tied up together, and he supposed that they were other letters, and did not take them into his hand.

This fellow is telling it because he would like you to get angry with me, etc. You ask me if I am of the same thought, and I tell you yes.

If you have not changed, I am ready to do what I have told you, etc.

Then soon, if they continue to drink red wine, I will tell you so.

Whether you are of the same mind still, or have repented of it, I am content to do what you wish, etc. I remain as I have been

YOUR FAITHFUL SWEETHEART.

Most beloved Signor:

I do not know why you did not pa.s.s here yesterday evening; for I took my stand at the window and saw no one. I forsook the window because the Canon, my brother, was there. I left there to go to the other windows lest he might see me, etc. But you turned toward the door of your sweetheart, because there is the one adored by you. Conti has asked me for those octaves, which you gave me, etc. Therefore tell me if I must give them to him or still keep the precious verses for myself. And I remain as I am and shall be

Your faithful, yes, your most faithful Sweetheart, AMARILLIS.

I forgot to tell you that the Signora my mother no longer has the fever, and is drinking wine, but by herself. Her wine, however, is red like ours. Therefore tell me what to do, that I may do it. I close with sending you a million kisses. But I know that in this way they are not so dear as a few would be if you would give them to me. But those of the Signora are very dear to you, though I tell you that they are poisoned, etc. Be the scrupulous one with others that you have been with me. For you have reason for this with others, but you have no occasion for it with me, etc.

Most Cherished Narcissus:

This evening I received your letter, and it gives me great comfort to know that you are not angry, etc. I do not know when he will give it to me, but if he gives it to me I will give it to you. The Jealous One is away, but I shall still be here, and all the rest; but because my mother has not found a servant, etc., they have said that they will stay here a while. Therefore you will not pa.s.s [?] out of my mind because of my not seeing you for a while. But whoever loves from so good a heart as I do, will keep one in mind. I pray you pardon me if I make myself tedious by writing too often. Acknowledging myself as I am, I remain

YOUR DEVOTED SERVANT AND MOST FAITHFUL SWEETHEART.

Most beloved Signor:

If you could imagine with what haste I have written to you these two verses, etc. I met Signor Doctor, as usual. He asked me where I was going, and along the street, he asked me why I had written scornfully to him. I told him that he deserved even worse, because he had given evil deeds and good words; for he had said he was fond of me and that he wished him and the rest of them in Sovara, etc. He replied it did not come from this one, but on account of another gentleman whom I used to like, who was more gallant than he. I answered him that if that one was not more gallant than himself, he was at least more faithful, etc. Professing myself, as I have ever been faithful, etc.

My Adored and Revered Signor:

I wish by this letter of mine to excuse myself from my error in sealing the letter which I sent to Rome, etc. I tell you that they have not found any letter at all of mine, because I do not let them lie around the house, but give them to the flames. And while I keep them, I place them in my bosom. This is not an excuse, why you should surmise [it to be] one of my letters; for I tell you that I give it place in my bosom, etc. Inasmuch as one of the family may be behind the curtain, as I believe, do not make any signal when you are under the windows. I shall be at the window this evening, or else at the blinds, and when I shall see you I will show myself at the window. But it is necessary to be prudent, that he may not see me. Because he has told me that if he sees me he will wish to do such things as not even aeneas, the Trojan, did. To avoid arousing his suspicion I will not stay there. But I pledge myself

YOUR MOST DEVOTED SERVANT.

My Longed-for Blessing:

If your saying that I do not love you, because you do not know me, is not an error, it is at least displeasing to me. Hear me, my dear: I am offended with you, because either you consider me blind or you do not consider me amiable. You cannot say of a truth that I do not love you, nor can you say truly that any one does love as much as I love you.

Look into my eyes, and you will be astonished; for when bright with my tears they will be faithful mirrors to reveal to you that your face is copied there (in which an outline of it is made in the Sun), that your whiteness is snow in comparison with the Milky Way, that the Graces have directed your movements by their own hand, that Venus in fashioning you took the measure of your limbs with her own girdle. Ah yes, I love you so much that in one respect I would wish alone to love you in the world, because it seems to me that I could love you all in central Latium. I should like that all might love you, because you would see that all of them put together cannot love you as much as I alone do. My breast is envied by every other part of me, because it alone is able to love you. These are matters one cannot know by mere hearing; they are matters to render one excusable to any one else who does not believe it. But you are a cruel beauty; for if you see a face composed by the miracles of angels you should not consider it a lie if a heart is found fashioned by the miracles of love, etc. I leave you a thousand thousand kisses.

My well-beloved:

I pa.s.s by compliments, because I cannot match your very gallant verses, which are so far different from what I merit. You tell me that you wish to know what has happened in our house. I tell you that nothing has happened, so far as I can see, because none of them have said anything to me--none of them. But Signor Guido seems rather well disposed toward me than otherwise, and therefore I cannot find out whether they are angry with me. Let my brother-in-law lock the door; he does it often, etc. If you do not wish to pa.s.s by here any more, I leave that to your own judgment, and I will suffer quietly the pains which are pleasing to you. Therefore I tell you that you may do as you wish. For as gold is refined in the fire, so love is refined by suffering. I can well say that I shall suffer pain at not seeing you as I have been accustomed, etc. With a loving kiss, I remain as I have ever been, your most sincere sweetheart and your most faithful slave.

I had quite forgotten to tell you that I stay in the same room as at first, and that Thursday evening I went to bed at eight o'clock, and so you did not hear me enter the room. I told the servant that she should make the signals agreed upon, etc.

Signor Guido returns Sat.u.r.day morning and you may pa.s.s this evening at ten o'clock or sooner, when you shall see the light in the room, etc.

My well-beloved:

I received your letter, which was most pleasing to me, as are all the rest you have sent me, etc. I see that you like the Pastor Fido. But I would wish you to imitate him, and I will imitate another Vienna. I hear from her that you will want to come to see me at the Villa, etc.

If I could only bring it about, I would more willingly be your wife than your servant. You tell me that Conti is unwilling to bring any more letters for you. But let me inform you that I am wheedling him, and I have the wits to bring it about that he will carry them to you; because I say two kind words to him and he is charmed and will do what I wish. You tell me that I shall let a cord down through the lattice, but you do not tell me what evening, etc. But I tell you that the Jealous One had gone to Sovara, if I might speak to you. But the Confessor is utterly unwilling, and for that reason I do not have you come here, because now the street door is no longer opened, but you might be able to open the back door, etc. But that Fate does not wish it, and you do not. I thank you for the kisses you send me, but if you yourself could give them to me, I would hold them dear. And I give you others in reply, as many millions as you have given to me.

YOUR MOST FAITHFUL SWEETHEART.

I do not know what name to give myself, whether Vienna, or Amarillis, or Dorinda, or Lilla, but I wish to call myself Ariadne, for I believe I have had to be such. I wish to call myself such, only so you are not a Theseus, but a chaste Joseph, or a dear Narcissus, or an Ilago, or a Fedone. Adonis indeed took pity on Venus, but I am none such, but even a Medusa. Therefore I deserve, etc. If you have read Ta.s.so, you will know who this was, etc.

My Beloved Idol:

I know of the affairs which have happened to you. I do not take it in bad part when you tell me that it is not possible to make my mother sleep, while she is ill and drinks no wine, and therefore cannot sleep. It may be in the next few days that she will get well. Then I will inform you of it, etc.

Your faithful Sweetheart, AMARILLIS.

My Adored, Beloved, and Revered Heart:

I am confused at such praise, etc. You write to me oftener than you might about the Doctor. You offend me by saying that I will love him again. I tell you as sure as the Sun shall rise upon this world, I have not the heart for another such blow. But he who does ill, thinks ill, etc. As to what you wish to know about the wine, I tell you that it is red now, but I do not know how much longer it will be so, but I will let you know about it. Sending you a thousand and a thousand, and a million of kisses, I remain, etc.

Come this evening at seven o'clock, because I wish to speak to you, and cough when you are under the window.

AMARILLIS.

She is bursting because she cannot say, as you tell me here, that she is white as milk, and that you are darker than I. If I had been you, I might have called you ivory, as I do call you. Watch this evening lest it be the Jealous One, and not myself. Therefore I will cough, and if you do not hear me cough, do not move.

I let you know that Signor Guido is going out of the city, and will be gone several days. Therefore I pray you come this evening about seven o'clock. And when you are under the window cough and wait a little while, that I may not make a mistake. He goes away Monday morning, etc.

My dearest and Most Deserving Well-beloved:

I give the infinite thanks of Rosalinda, etc. I wish you to know that he makes me signals along the Via del Poggio, etc., and not because I wish to make proof of your love, which I know very well. You are as constant as myself, and therefore I do not wish to make these proofs, etc. So that you cannot say that I no longer love you, because all my good wishes for Signor Guido are turned to you, who deserve it.

AMARILLIS.