The Old Debauchees. A Comedy Part 5

_Mart._ Confession was intended for the sake of the Penitent, not the Confessor: for to the Church all things are revealed.

_Isa._ Oh! then I had a Dream----I dreamt----I dreamt----oh! I can never tell you what I dreamt.

_Mart._ Horrible!

_Isa._ I dreamt--I dreamt--I dreamt----

_Mart._ Oh! the Strength of Sin!

_Isa._ I dreamt I was brought to bed of the Pope.

_Mart._ The very Happiness I meant, let me embrace you, let me kiss you, my dear Daughter: Henceforth you may defy Purgatory--the Mother of a Pope was never there.

_Isa._ But how can that be, when I am to be a Nun, Father?

_Mart._ Leave the Means to me. Learn only to be pa.s.sive, the Church will work the rest. A Pope is always the Son of a Nun. Go you to your Chamber, wash your self, then pray devoutly, shut every Ray of Light out, leave open the Door and expect the Consequence.

_Isa._ Father, I shall be obedient--oh! the Villain!

_Mart._ Be pa.s.sive and be happy.

SCENE V.

Jourdain, Martin, Isabel.

_Mart._ Ha! Why this unseasonable Interruption, while your Daughter is at Confession?

_Jourd._ Oh, Father, I have brought you News will make you happy, will rejoice your poor Heart. My Daughter is redeemed.

_Mart._ Out of Purgatory----vain Man! dost thou think to inform the Church?--

_Jourd._ I suppose St. _Francis_ has been beforehand with me. Indeed I should have imagined that before: for we seldom hear any thing from the Saints, but thro' the Mouth of a Priest.

_Mart._ (What does he mean?) [_Aside._

_Jourd._ Well, Daughter, the Thoughts of a Nunnery now give you no Uneasiness.

_Mart._ No, no, she is perfectly reconciled to it, and I am confident, would not quit the Nunnery for the Bed of a Prince.

_Jourd._ Ha! would not quit the Nunnery, Heaven forbid.

_Mart._ How! you are not mad!

_Jourd._ Unless with Joy. I thought you had known that I have received an Order from St. _Francis_, to marry my Daughter immediately.

_Mart._ Oh! Folly! to marry her immediately; why ay, to marry her to the Church, St. _Francis_ means. You see into what Errors the Laity run, when they go without the Leading-strings of the Church, and would interpret for themselves what they know nothing of.

_Isa._ I'll take this Opportunity to steal off, and communicate a Design of mine to young _Laroon_, which may draw this Priest into a Snare he little dreams of.

_Jourd._ But I cannot see how that should be St. Francis's Meaning: For tho' my Daughter may be married to the Church in a figurative Sense, sure, she cannot be with Child by the Church in a literal one.

_Mart._ I see the Business now, unhappy Man! I was in Hopes to have prevented this----_Exorcizo te, Exorcizo te,_ Satan. _Ton Dapamibominos prosephe podas ocus Achilleus_.

_Jourd._ Bless us, what mean you?

_Mart._ You are possessed; the Devil has taken possession of you; he is now within you, I saw him just now look out of your Eyes.

_Jourd._ O miserable Wretch that I am!

SCENE VI.

_Old_ Laroon, _Young_ Laroon, Jourdain, Martin.

_Old Lar._ Mr. _Jourdain_, your Servant. Where is my Daughter-in-law: I'll warrant she will easily forgive one Day's forwarding the Match.

Odso, it's an Error of the right side.

_Jourd._ Talk not to me of my Daughter, I am possessed, I am possessed.

_Old Lar._ Possessed--what the Devil are you possessed with.

_Jourd._ I am possessed with the Devil.

_Old Lar._ You are possessed with a Priest, and that's worse. Come, let's have the Wedding, and at Night, we'll drive the Devil out of you with a Fidle. The Devil is a great Lover of Musick. I have known half a Dozen Devils dance out of a Man's Mouth at the tuning a Violin, then present the Company with a Hornpipe, and so dance a Jig through the Keyhole.

_Mart._ Thou art the Devil's Son; for he is the Father of Lyars.

_Old Lar._ Thou art the Devil's Footman, and wearest his proper Livery.

_Jourd._ Fy upon you, Mr. _Laroon_; Fy upon you.

_Mart._ Mr. _Laroon_! O surprizing Effect of Possession----Here is no Body.

_Jourd._ Can I not believe my Eyes?

_Mart._ Can you not! no--you are to believe mine. The Eyes of the Laity may err, the Eyes of a Priest cannot.

_Jourd._ And do I not see Mr. _Laroon_ and his Son!

_Mart._ You see neither. It is the Spirit within you that represents to your Eyes and Ears what Objects it pleases.

_Jourd._ Oh! miserable Wretch.

_Old Lar._ Agad I'll try whether I am no Body or no, and whether I cannot make this Priest sensible that I am somebody.

_Y. Lar._ For Heaven's sake, Sir, consider the Consequence.

_Old Lar._ Consequence! Do you think I'll suffer a Rascal to prove me nothing at all to my Face?