The Nothing Girl Part 6

'No, hes not.

'Are we talking about the same people here?

'He doesnt love her. He desires her. Hes obsessed with her. But he doesnt love her. Nor she him.

'Well, he thinks he does, which is the same thing.

'Not quite, but stop changing the subject.

'Im not. There just isnt anything to say.

'Are you going to give up?

'What?

' Youve had a taste of something good. You loved it. Look at the difference in you. Youre positively sparkling. Im surprised no one has said anything. Are you going to just give it all up?

'What are you suggesting? That I repaint the house a second time?

'No, he said in such patient tones that I could feel myself losing my temper. ' Im just saying you should make an effort before its too late. Do you really want these last two weeks to be the sole highlight of your life?

I was so angry and hurt that I stamped off to bed there and then. I lay awake all night. Thomas stood by the window. I could hear his tail swishing. Neither of us spoke to the other.

Nor were we speaking when Russell collected me the next morning. I was quiet. Thomas was quiet. Even Russell was quiet.

We started the last room in a far from sunny atmosphere. I was annoyed with Thomas, who seemed to have gone out of his way to spoil my last few days here. It was so unlike him, I was upset and angry and ready to do anything to annoy the world.

So you could say he made a really good job of setting me up for my first proposal of marriage.

Chapter Three.

Painting the dining-room seemed to take for ever. Russell worked so slowly that several times I had to wait for him before I could do my bit.

At about twelve thirty he suddenly said, 'Im hungry. Shall we have an early lunch?

I nodded, wrapped my roller in cling film, washed my hands, and followed him into the kitchen.

I cant remember what we had for lunch that day. That was a first. Mrs Crisp was a first-rate cook and wed followed her instructions and lingered over lunch every day. I do know that at some point during the meal Thomas moved up beside me and whispered, ' Pay attention. I think this next bit is going to be important. He went to stand by the window again, looking out at the rain.

Russell, who had been nearly as silent as me, made coffee and pa.s.sed me my usual mug. This was probably the last time this would ever happen. There was so little to do that he could easily finish it himself tomorrow. He was working himself up to tell me he didnt need me any more. I tried to be philosophical about it. Even just two weeks was better than none at all.

'No, its not.

He stirred his coffee, put down the spoon, picked it up, stirred his coffee again, and said, without looking at me, 'Ive been thinking.

He stared at his coffee for so long that I stared at it too, wondering if there was something wrong with it. He seemed nervous? What was going on?

'Ive been thinking, he said again, presumably in case I hadnt grasped it the first time round. 'Ive had a bit of an idea and I dont want you to say anything until Ive finished.

As if that wouldnt happen anyway.

'It occurs to me, Jenny, that you and I may be able to help each other out a little.

Having got so far, he lapsed back into silence, staring at his still swirling coffee. Confused, I glanced over to Thomas, who was apparently still engrossed in the darkening landscape outside but had his ears turned back so he wouldnt miss anything.

And then I got it. Of course, he wanted to borrow money. That was what the tour had been about, getting me involved in the painting, buying the buckets, the lunches, all leading up to a request for a loan. I dont know why he was so embarra.s.sed. I was quite happy to help. Of course, Uncle Richard wouldnt be. He wouldnt be happy at all. He was a solicitor. He didnt like Russell Checkland. It wouldnt be easy, but at the end of the day, the money was mine and there were no strings attached.

And maybe, said an inner voice, youll get to come here again. Hes certain to want to show you how the moneys being spent. This means you can come back.

He obviously came to a decision, pushed his coffee away and said, all in a rush, 'The thing is, Jenny, I need money and youve got some. And you need a home and Ive got one. I think we should get together for mutual benefit.

I stared at him, completely confused.

'Good grief.

'Are you suggesting ...? No, I ... What?

He stared at me in exasperation. 'What?

'Thats what I said.

'Are you deliberately trying to make this difficult? Is this funny to you?

I felt tears well up. 'What? What did I do wrong?

'Nothing. Nothing. Im sorry. For G.o.ds sake, dont cry.

'Im not crying, I sobbed. 'But I ... dont know what you want and Ive ... done something wrong.

'No, no you havent. Here. He pulled out a paint-stained rag. On the grounds I couldnt make it any more revolting, I blew my nose and handed it back.

'My, youre a thorough girl, arent you?

I couldnt help a watery smile.

'Oh G.o.d, Ive done this all wrong.

'You certainly have, said Thomas.

Done what? What was going on? I had that awful feeling you get when everyone knows whats going on but you. Things started to clench inside. My last day was ruined.

He turned his chair to face me and took my hand. 'Ive made a complete pigs ear of this. Lets regard that as my practice swing and begin again. OK, here goes.

'Jenny. We each have things the other needs. I need money to finish restoring this old place. It eats money but its my home and I love it. I hope you will too. With money I can begin to paint again and pick up my reputation. It would be a new beginning for me.

'You you need a home. You need to get away from Julia and Richard. I know theyve looked after you and youve wanted for nothing. Except a life, opportunities, and fun, of course. I can give you a home. You can live here with me. Youll have this house and the gardens to play with. Ill introduce you to a few people if you wish. Or not. Whatever you want to do. The point is, theres a whole world out there and its time you were part of it. Frankly, if you dont do it now then you probably never will. Is that what you want, Jenny? His voice softened. 'To spend every single day of your life doing exactly the same thing, at exactly the same time, with exactly the same people? For the rest of your life? Dont you want to travel a little? Get out there? Not know what each day will bring? I can help you. I will help you. We can help each other. I cant see a downside to this.

He was picking up speed now.

'And you dont have to worry about ... you know. Im a selfish sod, but Im not that bad. I shant be imposing myself on you. And if you ... well, if you were to meet someone ... then Im not going to be ... As long as youre discreet, of course, said the most indiscreet man in the county. 'I just think theres a way we can both get what we want and need. Its quick, its painless, and we both benefit. What do you think?

I stared at him.

'You can speak now.

From somewhere, I found a voice. 'Youre asking me ... to ... move in with you?

'No. No, of course not.

I felt as if Id been kicked in the stomach. How stupid am I?

'Im asking if you would like to marry me.

And now Id been kicked in the heart.

He was racing on again. You cant shut Russell Checkland up for long.

'I admit it wasnt my first choice, but theres no way your uncles going to let you live with me without the protection of marriage vows and actually, hed be right.

That knocked the gloss off things a little.

'No, said Thomas. ' Give him credit for a little honesty. He hasnt drowned you in a load of old twaddle about you being the most beautiful woman in the world and how deeply he loves you.

Russell was ploughing on.

'Weve known each other a long time.

Wed played together occasionally as children.

'I like you, you like me. At least I hope you do. I think we could live very comfortably together. Were both putting into the deal so wed be equal partners. I think we could have a nice life together. What do you think?

Rain lashed against the windows. The dishwasher whirled away to itself.

'You should say something, said Thomas. 'Its only polite.

'What? What can I say? What should I say? What shall I do?

'Seriously? said Thomas, looking round. 'Do whatever you want to do.

'But ...

' No, Jenny. Dont do what you think other people would want you to do. Dont do what you think is the right thing to do. Do what you want to do.

Russell nudged my coffee mug closer and I sipped gratefully.

'I know this is a bit of a surprise to you. Well, quite a big surprise, probably. Well no, more like a huge shock, but youve stopped crying, you havent bolted for the door, and you havent said no. Can I be reasonably optimistic?

He looked like a hopeful little boy. 'I tell you what, I can see this has taken you by surprise. You need time to think it over before giving me an answer.

I nodded.

'Finish your coffee first.

I choked.

'Thats better, he said approvingly. 'Ive got to say, its a bit of a b.u.g.g.e.r when you propose to a girl and she looks like shes been hit by a truck. Take your time.

He sat back and drummed his fingers on the table.

'You know, said Thomas, ' as fortune hunters go, hes got to be the worst in the business. A more professional approach would have involved flowers, not buckets, a romantic meal for two, music ... and maybe a ring. This guy proposes to you in a dilapidated farmhouse to a background of dripping water and the second rinse cycle. Are you going to say yes?

'I dont know.

'So thats a yes, then.

'I didnt say that.

'In a proposal, anything that isnt a no is a yes.

'Youre not helping.

'I dont have to. You already know what youre going to do.

'I know what I should do.

'Not the same thing at all. Youd better get back to your prospective fiance. I think hes going to burst.

I looked at him, all shadowed eyes, rumpled hair and nervous energy. For a long, long moment I hovered on the brink of 'yes. But even I have some pride.

'Francesca.

He sat back, face falling. What did he expect? That he could sneak off to see her and I would provide a packed lunch? I had no intention of sitting quietly at home while a sn.i.g.g.e.ring Rushford gossiped behind my back.

He looked at me, looked out of the window, looked down at his lap, looked back at me again, took my mug, and poured us both another coffee. 'Ill tell you the truth. I owe you that.

I nodded.

'I worship her. Shes the reason I live.

Not many women get such an admission two minutes after a proposal of marriage. I was proud of my control. Thomas turned away from the window and stood behind Russell, where I could see him.

'When we met again in London, it was so good. She was so beautiful. She was nicer then, simpler. She laughed more. And she wanted to be with me. Every day brought something new and wonderful. Neither of us could do any wrong. Everything we touched turned to gold. I couldnt stop painting. It just poured out of me, I knew what I wanted to say. Pretty well everything I did was s.n.a.t.c.hed up, I cant tell you what it was like. It was exciting, intoxicating. I thought it would go on for ever. And when she got that TV part I thought ... well, never mind.