The Notes Part 6

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Flattery is what makes husbands of bachelors.

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New credit plan: "Try our easy payment plan, 100% down & nothing to pay."

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Conscience is that still small voice that tells you what other people should do.

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Don't mind going to work ... that long wait til quitting time.

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Sometimes if you have a good idea tell it to someone else for about hour until he thinks it's his. Then when he subsequently brings it up express doubt & finally reluctantly agree to sign it or try it on an experimental basis. There is nothing like skepticism to gain support for an idea.

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Seen a pacemaker with more compa.s.sion.

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Spks. with all the authority of an empty podium.

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Wife cheering up depressed husband: What do you mean nothing to live for-house isn't pd. for, car isn't pd. for, washing machine, TV...

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Nice thing about long range goals-you don't get frustrated with short range failures.

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That dumb blonde in the office may turn out to be a smart brunette.

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Clover leaf-something mks. it possible to drive someplace didn't intend to go.

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Insanity is hereditary-get it from your children.

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Govt. programs like old soldiers never die-but neither do they fade away.

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Roughly you can divide people into 2 cla.s.ses-those who still possess the fierce hunting instinct & those who pay to park their cars.

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A smart husband knows exactly the right thing to say when he quarrels with ... wife but if he's really smart he doesn't say it. smart husband knows exactly the right thing to say when he quarrels with ... wife but if he's really smart he doesn't say it.

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And now a man who needs no intro.-he didn't show up.

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Man who changed Drs. told a friend the new one had him on iron tablets, iron shots, and a once a month intravenous iron injection. "And you feel better?" "Only when I'm facing north."

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The farmer slowed down [at the] Dr.'s orders-couldn't pay the Dr.-lost the farm.

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Baseball rookie-catcher talk-pitcher: "never mind I've pitched to this guy before"-catcher: "I know-in this inning."

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The good years-when the kids were old enough to cut the gra.s.s & too young to drive the car.

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Used to tlk. out prices over cig. & coffee-now cigs. and coffee are our prob.

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Adolescent kid-old enough ... dress self ... cn. only remember where dropped clothes.

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Good judgment comes from exp. & exp. comes ... poor judgment.

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Before TV no one knew what a headache looked like.

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Why can't life's problems. .h.i.t us when we're 18 and know everything.

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Easier to forgive someone if you get even with him first.

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This country needs some colleges to teach everything the students think they know.

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Most people's financial problems are very simple-they are short of money.

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It's not cheaper car that people want-it's an expensive car that costs less.

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Daytime TV-that's a punishment employers have come up with for workers who stay home when they're not really sick.

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The hardest decision in life is when to start middle age.

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Gypsy fortune teller: "You'll be poor & unhappy until you are 40." And what then? "Nothing-then you'll be used to it."

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Never start an argument with a woman when she's tired-or when she's rested.

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Won't say he should be put in a mental inst. but if he was in one-don't think I'd let him out.

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Room bugged? every time I sneezed the chandelier said Gesundheit.

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Time you enjoy enjoy wasting is not wasted time. wasting is not wasted time.

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Work hard and save your money and when you are old you can afford the things only young people can enjoy.

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There are no new new sins-old ones are just getting better publicity. sins-old ones are just getting better publicity.

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Don't close saloons-elec. day any more too many candies.-getting locked in.

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Influence is what you think you have until you try to use it.

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Poise is looking like an owl after behaving like a jacka.s.s.

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All the recipes for success have some ingredients-for nervous brk. down-it's the amt. of each & the way you mix them that makes the diff.

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Big difficulty is [in] cutting down govt. expense is the expenses have votes.

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Absent minded patient went to dr. for a check up-got a handwritten prescription-put in a billfold & forgot to get it filled. Every morning 2 yrs showed it to conductor as a RR pa.s.s, 2x got him into a theatre-once a ballgame. Got a raise by showing it to the cashier as a note from the boss. One day laid it down-his daughter played it on the piano & won a scholarship to the Am. Conservatory. He used it to get to her 1st concert.

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Henry Etienne 153198-"si jeunesse savior, si viellesse pouvoit" If only youth had the knowledge-if only age had the strength.

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Can't stand someone talking while he's interrupting.

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If at 1st don't succeed, don't try Russian Roulette.

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If at 1st don't succeed, get a h-l lot advice.

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Could read "Making of the Pres." & not know the ending.

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Finally learned to smash the atom-should have given it to the P.O.-smashed everything else.