The Night Horde SoCal: Shadow And Soul Part 19

"Faith..." He set her down.

"Yeah, I know," she sighed. In the week that Margot had been home, though things between them had smoothed out again, they hadn't been able to sleep together for a whole night. She stayed here, and Michael stayed with his son at Hoosier and Bibi's. They were back to stolen moments. "It's like it was before."

He frowned. "No, it's not. There's nothing wrong about us now. Things are just inconvenient."

"You're right. Sorry. My mom likes Tucker, though. And she has no idea who you are. Maybe it would work here for all of us." Margot had been mostly quiet and pleasant since she'd been home. Like a barely-acquainted houseguest who was trying hard not to make too much of a ripple in the residents' lives. Faith felt guilty for enjoying it so much, but it was peaceful.

And she didn't feel too guilty, because twice during the week, the Margot Faith knew had reared up and said something b.i.t.c.hy or just plain nasty. There was a voice in Faith's head that was suggesting that what was happening to her mother was karma.

But what did that mean for what was going on with Faith herself? Every good seemed balanced by a bad, or at least a complication.

"Let me focus on getting Tucker. If that happens, then we can figure out how we're all together. If Tucker's safe here, and your mom isn't gunning for me, then yeah. I think we can make that work."

She hugged him, feeling her own karmic scale tip toward the good, at least for now. "You want a sandwich? I'm going to check on everything inside." Not that her supervision was needed inside. Jose and Bibi were both in there with Margot and Tucker.

"Sure. Any more of that sweet tea Bibi made?"

She yanked on his kutte until he dipped his head so she could kiss his cheek. "I'll check. Hey guys," she called to the Prospects. "Sandwiches?"

"Yes, ma'am!" they called.

'Ma'am,' Faith thought. Wasn't that a hoot. Smiling, she headed into the house.

Once inside, she could hear Bibi and her mother arguing-she heard the tone but not the words themselves. Jose was in the kitchen, looking like he wasn't sure what to do. She went into the living room. Bibi stood next to Margot's chair, holding Tucker, who was quiet but looked like he was headed toward upset.

The eyes her mother turned on her were full of recognition-and anger and accusation, too.

"What's going on?" Faith asked.

"How did you do it?"

"What?" Faith knew something was really wrong-she could see the turmoil on Bibi's face-but she was clueless.

"Don't play the stupid gash with me. How did you get away with it? I was right there! How?"

"Margot, I don't-"

"Don't you call me by my name. I am your mother, and you will treat me with some f.u.c.king respect."

"Bibi?" Faith needed help.

"I'm sorry, baby." Bibi turned to Margot. "Margot, sweetheart, you got this all wrong."

"Shut it, Bibi." Margot turned back to Faith, her eyes searing with anger. "I told you to get rid of it. I stood there and watched. I made sure! How the f.u.c.k did you do it?"

A cowl of sick sorrow fell over Faith's shoulders as she understood what had Margot so upset. "Bibi, get him out of here. He doesn't need to hear all this."

Bibi nodded and carried Tucker toward the kitchen, pausing to squeeze Faith's hand. "I'm so sorry. She was playing with him, and then it all changed."

Tucker reached for Faith, leaning out of Bibi's arms. "Fay!"

She kissed his pudgy hand. "Go with Granny, buddy."

When they were clear of the room, Faith turned to her mother. "Tucker's not mine, Mom."

Margot laughed her contempt. "You lying little wh.o.r.e. I can see it. He looks just like his father."

Yeah, he did. But that didn't make him hers. "He's Michael's, but he's not mine. You did make me get rid of mine."

"You must really think I'm an idiot. You think I can't see?" Margot brushed her hair back in the way she always had when she thought she'd won something. "Fine, then. Your father will take care of the problem his way, then. You made your choice."

Faith had to make Michael go away before he came into the house and found this Margot. Struggling to keep memory at bay before it pulled her under completely and drowned her, she turned and headed back to the garage.

memory Sitting on the bathroom floor, Faith pulled a length of toilet paper off the roll and blew her nose, then dropped the paper into the bowl and flushed. Not feeling ready to stand yet, she rested her forehead on the cool porcelain of the tub.

The door burst open, and her mother stood in the doorway. She tossed a box into the room. It landed on the floor and slid until it stopped against Faith's knee. Faith didn't have to look to know what it was.

"Take them both. While I stand here."

"Go away, Mom. I'm sick. I have the flu." She knew it wasn't the flu. But the past three weeks had been just f.u.c.king horrible, and she could not deal with her mother's drama on top of it all. They'd been keeping her a prisoner, not letting her out of the house at all. They'd somehow arranged with the school to put her on independent study, like she was terminally ill or something.

Her father had said he had no intention of letting her out of the house again.

Faith pretty much didn't care about anything anymore.

"Bulls.h.i.t. Take the G.o.dd.a.m.n tests."

"I just peed. I don't have to go now."

Her mother came all the way into the room and filled the gla.s.s on the counter with tap water. "Then drink this, because neither of us is going anywhere until you take those f.u.c.king tests."

She drank, and puked again, and drank some more, and they waited, and then she peed. And peed again.

Her mother s.n.a.t.c.hed the sticks out of her hand before the results were in. She stared at the sticks, and Faith stared at the floor.

"You stupid, stupid, stupid little s.l.u.t!" Margot threw one of the sticks at her. "Look at that! What have you done?" She threw the other. Faith didn't bother to look; her mother was all the result she needed to see.

Then Margot stormed over to her and grabbed her arm. "Get up! Get up! We're going to see your father!"

Faith got up but pulled her arm away. "No, I'm not. Leave me the f.u.c.k alone!"

Margot slapped her across the face. Hard. And then again. Faith was too shocked to protect herself. For all her mother's faults, she'd never before hit her. The third one was a punch that knocked Faith back onto her a.s.s. And then Margot kicked her in the stomach. The angle was odd, and she didn't connect with much force, but it was still horrible.

"Mom! Stop!" Faith cried out and curled into a ball.

Margot's voice shook when she spoke again. "Get up or I'll do worse. We're going to your father right now."

Her mother hadn't even let her dress. She'd dragged her out of the house in her flannel pajama bottoms and cotton camisole, grabbing the zebra throw off the couch and throwing it over her shoulders as they got to the front door. She was still barefoot.

When they got to the clubhouse, it looked empty. The men who worked in the bike shop would be over there by now, so it was too late for girls to be straggling out. And it was too early for anybody to be in for cleaning or whatever. Her high heels clicking on the old linoleum floor, Margot dragged Faith in, shouting "BLUE! BLUE! GET YOUR a.s.s OUT HERE! BLUE!" as soon as they cleared the front door.

Faith felt like she'd left her brain in bed at home. She'd already left her heart on the shop floor, weeks ago. She wasn't Faith anymore. All this was happening to somebody else. So she just let it happen.

It was Hoosier who came out, coming up from his office. "Jesus wept, Margie, what the f.u.c.k are you yowling about?"

Margot shoved Faith toward him, and he caught her. "HE KNOCKED HER UP! LITTLE Wh.o.r.e IS PREGNANT! WHERE'S BLUE?"

"Shut the f.u.c.k up," Hoosier hissed. He looked down at Faith and brushed her sore cheek. "You okay, darlin'?" Faith shook her head, and Hoosier looked at Margot. "You do this?"

"She's my kid, Hooj. Watch your tone."

Hoosier stared for a second, and then nodded. Faith wasn't surprised. He'd leave it to Blue to handle. "Okay. Get in my office, and Margot, keep your f.u.c.king yap shut. I'll get Blue."

When her father came into the room, it was clear that Hoosier had told him there was trouble, but not what kind it was. He was wearing his shop coverall, and his long hair was tied back with a thin strip of leather.

He looked at Faith, but he didn't smile. Since he'd found out about Michael, Faith didn't think he'd smiled at her once. He frowned and came closer, grabbing her chin and turning her head. Then he turned to his wife. "Did you f.u.c.king hit her?"

Margot stood tall in the face of her husband's anger. "She's pregnant. That a.s.shole knocked her up. When I caught 'em, they weren't using anything. I shoulda known."

"Did you hit her?" he asked again.

"A slap. She mouthed off. Jesus, Blue, focus on the problem here!"

He turned back to Faith, his eyes narrow. "Is it true, Faith?" He hadn't called her 'kitty cat' for weeks.

She nodded, and he shoved her away so hard she fell back, landing in an armchair.

"I will kill that motherf.u.c.ker. I will skin him alive and I will kill him." He punched the tall filing cabinet, then did it again, leaving a smear of blood behind. "f.u.c.k!"

Faith's mother closed in on her father. "She has to get rid of it."

Blue spun and faced her. "What?"

"She can't have that psycho's baby. He'll be in her life forever."

In this morning full of disorienting waves of pain, sorrow, and fear, that exchange got Faith's full attention. Her mother wanted her to have an abortion. Faith had no idea how she felt about any of this. She was sad and scared; that was all she knew. She hadn't wanted to be a mother-not yet, and maybe not ever. But if she was having Michael's baby, that meant that she hadn't lost him. That changed everything.

"f.u.c.king Christ." He laced his fingers over the back of his neck and pulled his head down, then stayed like that for several seconds, in a pose Faith recognized as his struggle for control. Margot and Faith both watched and waited.

Faith wasn't worried. Her mother was a shrieking b.i.t.c.h, but her father wouldn't force her to do something like that. He loved her. And she wasn't even sure how her mother thought she could force her at all. She wasn't eighteen yet, but she couldn't believe that somebody would do an abortion she didn't want just because her mom said so. That was nuts.

"Daddy?"

At her plea, her father looked up. He met her eyes and then immediately looked away, to his wife. "Get her out of here. Go back home. I'll be there when I can. Keep your mouth shut. Do not talk to anyone. Do not do anything until we talk. And do not f.u.c.king touch her again. Do you understand me?"

What Margot saw in Blue's eyes must have been chilling, because she didn't fight back at all. She simply nodded and held her hand out toward Faith. "Let's go."

Faith ignored her mother and focused on her father. "Daddy, I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes. "Get out of here, Faith. Just get out."

Faith went to bed when she got home. She lay on her back and rubbed her belly. Michael's baby was in there. She was scared, but she felt right, too. They couldn't keep them apart now. And she knew that whatever her mother thought now, they wouldn't make her 'get rid of it.' Maybe they would throw her out. She thought that might happen.

But she remembered her father raging one night about a girl Dusty had gotten pregnant. She'd had an abortion, and Dusty had beaten her for it. Blue had said he was right to do it, because 'You don't ever take a man's child.'

So she knew it would be okay. When she heard her parents shouting at each other in the garage, she was sure of it.

When her father came in, carrying a tray with a grilled cheese sandwich and a bottle of Diet c.o.ke, she sat up and smiled. "Hi, Daddy."

He set the tray on her desk and went back to close her door. Then he stood against it. "Your mama made an appointment at the clinic. I guess she knows somebody there, and she got you in tomorrow."

Faith's mind blanked. Was he talking about just a doctor visit? "What?"

"Your mama's right. You can't have that b.a.s.t.a.r.d's kid. I won't let him f.u.c.k you up more than he already did." He looked down at the foot of her bed, like he couldn't look her in the face. "So you will go tomorrow and get rid of it. And then we can try to put things back the way they belong."

"Daddy, no. I don't want-"

"Decision's made, Faith Anne. The time for what you want is long past. Now you do what we tell you, and we put this all back to rights."

"No."

"I'm not giving you a choice."

"What are you going to do? I don't want that! It is my choice! Are you going to tie me down and force me? Throw me out if you don't like it-I'll leave right now. I'll find Michael."

Her father, her daddy, stormed to her bed and grabbed her up by both arms. "Don't you ever talk about him in this house again. You will do as I say. And here's why-if you don't, I will kill him. I know just where he is right now. I could have him held for me with a phone call. I will kill him, Faith Anne, and I won't make it clean. Make no mistake. If you defy me, that's what will happen. You say it's your choice? So make it."

Her daddy was gone. The man whose hands were digging into her arms was somebody else. She was losing absolutely everything. It finally all hit her, all at once, and tears crashed over her. "Daddy, please!" she wailed, and he let go of her, dropping her back to her bed in a heap.

She could feel him still standing at the side of her bed, looking down at her, but she kept her face buried in her arms and let the weeping have its way with her.

"You will go tomorrow, and you will go quietly, or he dies tomorrow night."

She nodded. She had no other choice.

When he next spoke, his voice was a little farther away and broken with emotion. "I don't know where my baby girl went," he said and then opened her door and went out.

Margot stayed with her the entire time, holding her hand, the picture of a supportive mother. No one could see that her grip around Faith's fingers was punishingly tight.

They did lab work and an ultrasound first, and then there was counseling to confirm the pregnancy and describe the procedure, and to confirm that Faith was sure she wanted to proceed. At first, she couldn't find a voice to say the word, so she nodded. The doctor or nurse or counselor or whoever it was told her that she needed to say the word.

She cleared her throat and spoke. The woman before her c.o.c.ked her head and looked hard at her, and her mother's hold on her intensified, so Faith tried again, and this time she was convincingly clear.