The Merry Wives of Windsor Part 5

_Fal._ Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

_Pist._ Why, then, let kibes ensue. 30

_Fal._ There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.

_Pist._ Young ravens must have food.

_Fal._ Which of you know Ford of this town?

_Pist._ I ken the wight: he is of substance good. 35

_Fal._ My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

_Pist._ Two yards, and more.

_Fal._ No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's 40 wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'

_Pist._ He hath studied her will, and translated her will, 45 out of honesty into English.

_Nym._ The anchor is deep: will that humour pa.s.s?

_Fal._ Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband's purse: he hath a legion of angels.

_Pist._ As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I. 50

_Nym._ The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.

_Fal._ I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious illades; 55 sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.

_Pist._ Then did the sun on dunghill shine.

_Nym._ I thank thee for that humour.

_Fal._ O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such 60 a greedy intention, that the appet.i.te of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-gla.s.s! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East 65 and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

_Pist._ Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! 70

_Nym._ I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter: I will keep the haviour of reputation.

_Fal._ [_To Robin_] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly; Sail like my pinnace to these golden sh.o.r.es.

Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; 75 Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!

Falstaff will learn the humour of the age, French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page.

[_Exeunt Falstaff and Robin._

_Pist._ Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds, And high and low beguiles the rich and poor: 80 Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack, Base Phrygian Turk!

_Nym._ I have operations which be humours of revenge.

_Pist._ Wilt thou revenge?

_Nym._ By welkin and her star! 85

_Pist._ With wit or steel?

_Nym._ With both the humours, I: I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.

_Pist._ And I to Ford shall eke unfold How Falstaff, varlet vile, 90 His dove will prove, his gold will hold, And his soft couch defile.

_Nym._ My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour. 95

_Pist._ Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: I, 3

SCENE III.] SCENE VII. Pope.

2: _bully-rook_] _Bully Rock_ Rowe, pa.s.sim.

10: _shall ... shall_] F1 Q3. _will ... will_ F2 F3 F4.

14: _see thee froth_] _see thee, froth_ Staunton.

_lime_] Steevens. _lyme_ (Q1 Q2). _live_ Ff Q3.

19: _Hungarian_] Ff Q3. _Gongarian_ (Q1 Q2) Capell.

22: _conceited?_] Theobald here inserts (from Q1 Q2), _His mind is not heroic and there's the humour of it._ 23: _acquit_] _quit_ Pope.

26: _minute's_] Ff. _minuntes_ Q3. _minim's_ Singer (Bennet-Langton conj.).

41: _carves_] Ff (Q1 Q2). _craves_ Q3.

45: _studied her will_] Ff Q3. _studied her well_ (Q1 Q2) Pope.

_translated her will_] Ff Q3 (om. Q1 Q2). _translated her well_ Pope. translated her Hanmer. _studied her well and translated her will_ Grant White. _studied her well and translated her ill_ Edd. conj.

47: _anchor_] _author_ Johnson conj.

49: _he_] _she_ (Q1 Q2) Pope.

_a legion_] Pope. _a legend_ Ff. Q3. _legians_ (Q1). _legions_ (Q2) Capell.

50: _entertain_] Ff Q3. _attend her_ (Q1 Q2). _enter swine_ Coleridge conj. _in her train_ Anon. conj.

55: _illades_] _illiads_ Ff Q3. _eyelids_ Halliwell (Pope conj.).

56: _gilded_] _guilded_ F1 Q3. _guided_ F2 F3 F4.

64: _cheaters_] (Q1 Q2) F1 Q3 F3 F4. _cheators_ F2. _cheater_ Theobald. _escheator_ Hanmer. _'cheator_ Capell.

73: _tightly_] F1. _t.i.tely_ (Q1 Q2). _rightly_ Q3 F2 F3 F4.

74: [Exit Robin. Dyce.

76: _o' the_] _oth'_ F2 F3 F4. _ith'_ F1 Q3.

77: _learn_] _earn_ Anon. conj.

_humour_] (Q1 Q2) Theobald. _honour_ Ff Q3.

_the_] Ff Q3. _this_ (Q1 Q2) Capell.

78: [Exeunt Falstaff and Robin.] Rowe. [Exit. Dyce.

79: SCENE VIII. Pope.

_fullam holds_] _fullams hold_ Hanmer.

80: _beguiles_] _beguile_ Hanmer.

83: _operations_] Ff Q3. _operations in my head_ (Q1 Q2) Pope.

85: _star_] _fairies_ (Q1 Q2). _stars_ Collier MS.

88: _discuss_] _disclose_ Pope.

88, 89: _Page_ ... _Ford_] (Q1 Q2) Steevens. _Ford_ ... _Page_ Ff Q3. See note (I).