The Merry Wives of Windsor Part 38

_Qu._ I forsooth, for then her husband goes a birding, 45

_Fal._ Well commend me to thy mistris, tel her I will not faile her: Boy giue her my purse.

_Quic._ Nay sir I haue another arant to do to you From misteris _Page:_

_Fal._ From misteris _Page_? I prethy what of her? 50

_Qu._ By my troth _I_ think you work by {I}nchantments, Els they could neuer loue you as they doo:

_Fal._ Not _I_, _I_ a.s.sure thee; setting the attraction of my Good parts aside, _I_ vse no other inchantments:

_Quic._ Well sir, she loues you extreemly: 55 And let me tell you, shees one that feares G.o.d, And her husband giues her leaue to do all: For he is not halfe so iealousie as M. _Ford_ is.

_Fal._ But harke thee, hath misteris _Page_ and mistris _Ford_, Acquainted each other how dearly they loue me? 60

_Quic._ O G.o.d no sir: there were a iest indeed.

_Fal._ Well farwel, commend me to misteris _Ford_, I will not faile her say.

_Quic._ G.o.d be with your worship.

_Exit Mistresse Quickly._

_Enter Bardolfe._

_Bar._ Sir, heer's a Gentleman, 65 One M. _Brooke_, would speak with you, He hath sent you a cup of sacke.

_Fal._ M. _Brooke_, hees welcome: bid him come vp, Such _Brookes_ are alwaies welcome to me: A _Iack_, will thy old bodie yet hold out? 70 Wilt thou after the expence of so much mony Be now a gainer? Good bodie _I_ thanke thee, And {I}le make more of thee then _I_ ha done: Ha, ha, misteris _Ford_, and misteris _Page_, haue _I_ caught you a the hip? go too. 75

_Enter _Foord_ disguised like _Brooke_._

_For._ G.o.d saue you sir.

_Fal._ And you too, would you speak with me?

_For._ Mary would _I_ sir, _I_ am somewhat bolde to trouble you, My name is _Brooke_.

_Fal._ Good M. _Brooke_ your verie welcome. 80

_For._ {I}faith sir _I_ am a gentleman and a traueller, That haue seen somewhat. And _I_ haue often heard That if mony goes before, all waies lie open.

_Fal._ Mony is a good souldier sir, and will on.

_For._ {I}faith sir, and _I_ haue a bag here, 85 Would you wood helpe me to beare it.

_Fal._ O Lord, would _I_ could tell how to deserue To be your porter.

_For._ That may you easily sir _Iohn:_ I haue an earnest Sute to you. But good sir _Iohn_ when I haue 90 Told you my griefe, cast one eie of your owne Estate, since your selfe knew what tis to be Such an offender.

_Fal._ Verie well sir, proceed.

_For._ Sir I am deeply in loue with one _Fords_ wife 95 Of this Towne. Now sir _Iohn_ you are a gentleman Of good discoursing, well beloued among Ladies, A man of such parts that might win 20. such as she.

_Fal._ O good sir.

_For._ Nay beleeue it sir _Iohn_, for tis time. Now my loue 100 Is so grounded vpon her, that without her loue I shall hardly liue.

_Fal._ Haue you importuned her by any means?

_Ford._ No neuer sir.

_Fal._ Of what qualitie is your loue then? 105

_Ford._ Ifaith sir, like a faire house set vpon Another mans foundation.

_Fal._ And to what end haue you vnfolded this to me?

_For._ O sir, when I haue told you that, I told you all: For she sir stands so pure in the firme state 110 Of her honestie, that she is too bright to be looked Against: Now could I come against her With some detection, I should sooner perswade her From her marriage vow, and a hundred such nice Tearmes that sheele stand vpon. 115

_Fal._ Why would it apply well to the veruensie of your affection, That another should possesse what you would enjoy?

Meethinks you prescribe verie preposterously To your selfe.

_For._ No sir, for by that meanes should I be certaine of that 120 which I now mis...o...b...

_Fal._ Wel M. _Brooke_, Ile first make bold with your mony, Next, giue me your hand. Lastly, you shall And you will, enioy _Fords_ wife.

_Foord._ O good sir. 125

_Fal._ M. _Brooke_, I say you shall.

_For._ Want no mony syr _Iohn_, you shall want none.

_Fal._ Want no misteris _Ford_ M. _Brooke_, You shall want none. Euen as you came to me, Her spokes mate, her go between parted from me: 130 I may tell you M. _Brooke_, I am to meet her Betweene 8 and 9, for at that time the Iealous Cuckally knaue her husband wil be from home, Come to me soone at night, you shall know how I speed M. _Brooke_. 135

_Ford._ Sir do you know _Ford?_

_Fal._ Hang him poore cuckally knaue, I know him not, And yet I wrong him to call him poore. For they Say the cuckally knaue hath legions of angels, For the which his wife seemes to me well fauored, 140 And Ile vse her as the key of the cuckally knaues Coffer, and there's my randeuowes.

_Foord._ Meethinkes sir it were good that you knew _Ford_, that you might shun him.

_Fal._ Hang him cuckally knaue, Ile stare him 145 Out of his wits, Ile keepe him in awe With this my cudgell: It shall hang like a meator Ore the wittolly knaues head, M. _Brooke_ thou shalt See I will predominate ore the peasant, And thou shalt lie with his wife. M. _Brooke_ 150 Thou shalt know him for knaue and cuckold, Come to me soone at night.

_Exit Falstaffe._

_Ford._ What a d.a.m.ned epicurian is this?

My wife hath sent for him, the plot is laid: _Page_ is an a.s.se, a foole. A secure a.s.se, 155 Ile sooner trust an Irishman with my Aquauita bottle, Sir _Hu_ our parson with my cheese, A theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then my wife With her selfe: then she plots, then she ruminates, And what she thinkes in her hart she may effect, 160 Sheele breake her hart but she will effect it.

G.o.d be praised, G.o.d be praised for my iealousie: Well Ile go preuent him, the time drawes on, Better an houre too soone, then a minit too late, G.o.ds my life cuckold, cuckold. 165

_Exit Ford._