The Merry Wives of Windsor Part 12

_Fal._ I say you shall.

_Ford._ Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.

_Fal._ Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her a.s.sistant, 235 or go-between, parted from me: I say I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave her husband will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.

_Ford._. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know 240 Ford, sir?

_Fal._ Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not: --yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the jealous wittolly knave hath ma.s.ses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the key of the 245 cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.

_Ford._ I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him, if you saw him.

_Fal._ Hang him, mechanical salt-b.u.t.ter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel: 250 it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. --Come to me soon at night. Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and 255 cuckold. Come to me soon at night. [_Exit._

_Ford._ What a d.a.m.ned Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him; the hour is fixed; the match is made. Would any man have thought 260 this? See the h.e.l.l of having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villanous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names!--Amaimon 265 sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends: but Cuckold!

Wittol!--Cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an a.s.s, a secure a.s.s: he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my b.u.t.ter, 270 Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitae bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts 275 but they will effect. G.o.d be praised for my jealousy!--Eleven o'clock the hour. I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! [_Exit._ 280

NOTES: II, 2

SCENE II.] SCENE VII. Pope.

3: _open_] _open. --I will retort the sum in equipage._ Theobald (from Q1 Q2). _open. -- ... equipoize_ Jackson conj.

6: _coach-fellow_] _couch-fellow_ Theobald.

12: _Didst not thou_] F1 Q3 F2. _Didst thou not_ F3 F4.

17: _throng_] (Q1 Q2) Ff Q3. _thong_ Pope.

20: _terms_] _termes_ F1 Q3. _terme_ F2. _term_ F3 F4.

_honour_] _hononor_ F1.

_I, I, I_] _I_ Pope. _I, ay, I_ Grant White.

21: _G.o.d_] (Q1 Q2). _heaven_ Ff Q3.

23: _yet you, rogue,_] Pope. _yet, you rogue,_ Ff Q3. _yet you, you rogue,_ Collier MS.

24: _rags_] _rages_ Becket conj. _brags_ Singer (Anon., N. & Q., conj.).

25: _bold-beating_] _bull-baiting_ Hanmer. _bold-bearing_ Warburton.

_bold cheating_ Heath conj. _blunderbust_ Halliwell MS.

27: _relent_] Ff Q3. _recant_ (Q1 Q3).

_would thou_] _would'st thou_ Pope. _would you_ Anon. conj.

30: SCENE VIII. Pope.

43: _on: Mistress_] _one Mistress_ Grant White (Douce conj.).

48: _G.o.d_] (Q1 Q2). _Heaven_ Ff Q3.

63: _in_] om. Hanmer.

66: _this_] _of a_ Collier MS.

104: _loves_] _love_ Rowe.

110: _she is one_] _truly she is one_ Rowe.

116: _need_] _heede_ Q3.

123: _punk_] _pink_ Warburton.

124: _your fights_] _yond' frigat_ Hanmer (Warburton conj.).

125: _them all_] _all_ Q3.

[Exit] Rowe.

131: SCENE IX. Pope.

131, 136: _Brook, Brooks_] Pope (from Q1 Q2). _Broome, Broomes_ Ff Q3, and pa.s.sim. See note (VI).

137: _that o'erflow_] Capell. _that oreflows_ Ff. _that that ore'

flowes_ Q3. _that o'erflow with_ Pope.

139: _Bless_] F4. '_Bless_ F1 Q3 F2 F3. _G.o.d save_ (Q1 Q2).

156: _all, or half_] _half, or all_ Collier MS.

167: _imperfection_] _imperfections_ Pope.

178: _fee'd_] _free'd_ Q3.

180: _bought_] _brought_ Q3.

185: _jewel that_] F4. _jewel, that_ F1 Q3 F2 F3. _jewel; that_ Theobald.

_that_] om. Rowe.

215: _vehemency_] _vehemence_ F4.

219: _soul_] _suit_ Collier MS.

225: _other her_] _other_ Pope.

_too, too_] _too-too_ Ff Q3. _too_ Rowe.

231: _I say you shall_] _Master Brooke, I say you shall_ (Q1 Q2) Theobald.

242: _cuckoldly_] _cuckoldy_ Rowe.

246: _cuckoldly rogue's_] F1 Q3. _cuckold-rogue's_ F2 F3 F4.

257: SCENE X. Pope.

261: _false_] _fair_ Q3.

263: _this wrong_] _the wrong_ Pope.

267: _Wittol!--Cuckold_] _Wittoll, Cuckold_ Ff Q3. _wittol-cuckold_ Malone.

276: _G.o.d_] (Q1 Q2). _Heaven_ Ff Q3.

SCENE III. _A field near Windsor._

_Enter CAIUS and RUGBY._

_Caius._ Jack Rugby!

_Rug._ Sir?

_Caius._ Vat is de clock, Jack?

_Rug._ Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. 5

_Caius._ By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.

_Rug._ He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him, if he came. 10

_Caius._ By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.

_Rug._ Alas, sir, I cannot fence.

_Caius._ Villainy, take your rapier. 15

_Rug._ Forbear; here's company.

_Enter HOST, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE._

_Host._ Bless thee, bully doctor!