The Merit Birds Part 18

"I hear you in jail for manslaughter," Huang said.

I felt my throat go dry. How did he know?

"You kill girlfriend. Lao girl." Huang looked at me from his one good eye. "You in big, big trouble." He wagged a finger at me. I could see its freakishly long, yellow nail.

I began to breathe long and slow. I stood taller. I wouldn't answer. I wouldn't react.

Huang leaned in closer.

"You know in Laos they execute for manslaughter?"

"What?"

"No one want to tell you. They not want to worry you. Your punishment will be death penalty. I hear guards talking."

I felt my breath go shallow. I froze.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Huang. You're just trying to scare me into giving you fish."

"They execute Nigerian man last year. You don't believe Huang, you ask Sai, you love him so much." Huang's chuckle was menacing. "You not alive for long, no matter how much fish you eat."

I couldn't think. My mind was racing every which way. How did Huang know about the manslaughter charges? He must have overheard something. And I had overheard some of the guys talking about the Nigerian man who was executed. I needed to talk to Sai.

I chewed my fingernails. My palms were damp. I hadn't even met my lawyer yet. I couldn't wait for legal stuff. I had to get out on my own. I heard the cell door clanking open and jumped. But it was just Sai being guided back into the cell. I went up to him.

"Can we talk?" I whispered.

"Yeah, you ask him. He tell you!" Huang called out from his shadowy corner.

"Sai," I pulled him by the arm around the corner into the bathroom so no one could hear us.

"What's going on, friend?" he asked.

"In Laos do they give the death penalty for manslaughter?"

Sai's face froze momentarily. "Yes," he answered.

I could tell by the way he answered that he knew what the charges were against me. He knew I was here for more than a basketball fight.

"You've known all along, haven't you? About the charges against me."

Sai nodded.

And still he had befriended me.

"Sai, are they going to execute me? Am I going to die here?" I stood, aghast.

"Cam, you know how hard your mom is working to get you out. Stay focused on what is real right now, not on your fears."

He didn't say no. He didn't say Cam, don't be ridiculous.

"I know what is real. They're going to take me to the interrogation room any minute now." I told Sai about the Vietnamese prisoner who had collapsed from hunger.

"Cam." Sai looked at me deeply. "Your heart has grown."

"Yes, but Sai," I said, "will you help me escape?"

The Choice.

Seng.

The silence in their guesthouse room was charged. Seng had scarcely said two words since their visit with their mom. First he had lost his sister and now he had lost his mother - for the second time. He wondered how much one person could stand. He would give anything to have his simple life in Vientiane back. Pedalling home to find Nok sifting rice for dinner, sitting on the riverbank with Khamdeng with his dreams of a better life in America. Now his dreams consisted of him lying on top of a funeral pyre, thick smoke suffocating him, flames licking at his thighs, the sound of sizzling flesh.

"We should talk about what we're going to do next," Vong's voice broke his thoughts. "Meh can't live by herself like that."

Seng nodded, but said nothing.

"We're nearly out of money," Vong continued. "I don't know what we can do. I think I should call Chit and tell him everything."

Seng thought about how strange it was that he had only met his brother-in-law once, when he had come to Vientiane and taken Vong away from them.

"I've been putting off explaining things to him. I don't want him to worry, or become mixed up in this mess I've created," Vong continued.

"You've created?"

"It was my plan."

"Yeah, but it was my crime. And I'm the one who found Meh." You can't take that away from me, he thought.

"I should have never left you and Nok in the first place. I tricked myself into thinking everything was okay here. I'm really sorry, brother. For leaving."

"I'll come with you to call Chit."

They walked together to the payphone on the corner. Seng stood just in front of the booth. He watched as she dialled. He could only hear Vong's side of the conversation.

"I'm sorry I haven't called. It's been busy, and you know how expensive it is to call from Laos. You got my e-mails, though."

She had a guilty look on her face.

"You mean the accident is on the news there? Nok's? But why? It happened months ago."

There was silence as Chit filled in the blanks. Seng still hadn't mentioned the Canadian boyfriend to Vong.

Vong ran her index finger along the hard edges of the payphone. She eyed her fingernails, nearly chewed to the quick. She wouldn't make eye contact with him. He wondered what she knew now. He kicked a stone on the ground.

"Well, I knew she had a Canadian boyfriend but -"

She hung her head.

"Yes, I'm here," she finally said in a small voice. "He's in jail?"

Seng froze. He raised his hands to his head. In jail? They had actually jailed a foreigner. For his crime.

Vong opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't. A motorbike revved its engine behind her.

"Chit, I'm not in Laos," she suddenly blurted out.

She told him everything. Seng's crime. The escape. Hiding out in Thailand. Finding their mother. She talked so quickly Seng wondered how Chit could understand. Seng glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot. They were getting sloppy with their hiding.

Now there was nothing but silence coming from the phone booth. Minutes ticked away. Seng felt panic racing through his veins. Vong twisted the phone cord around and around. She wouldn't look at him.

"I don't know what to do next." She leaned her forehead on the top of the phone. Then she began to gently bang her forehead on it, over and over.

She switched sides.

"What do you mean - they make deals?"

A truck blared its horn.

She suddenly stood tall and listened for a long time.

"Never," she finally said. Then she slammed the phone down violently. She turned and ran. Weaving in and out of the packed sidewalks, down onto the street, and nearly into a car. The driver blared the horn angrily at her.

Seng followed. When he caught up to her she was bent over, clutching her middle, and breathing heavily. He laid a hand on her back.

"How come you didn't tell me about the Canadian?" she screamed, looking up at him.

"Shame," Seng said quietly.

"He's in jail, Seng." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Jail? But I thought they took it easy on foreigners."

"Seng, how can you be so f.u.c.king clueless about the world?" She brushed his hand off her back.

Seng was stunned. Her anger cut him like a knife.

"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, Vong. I haven't been outside of Laos like you have. Remember, you left us behind."

She didn't answer.

"We have to get the Canadian out of jail," he finally said.

"That means you'll take his place," she said. "Do you know what they'll do to you in jail? You fled the scene of the crime. You killed your own sister!"

Seng hung his head and buried his face in his hands.

She stood up and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Seng. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's true," he said.

Vong looked at the ground, hands on hips, panting.

"What did Chit say?" he asked.

"I can't even say it. His idea. It's awful." She pressed her lips together until they turned white.

"We need all the ideas we can get."

"No we don't. We don't need this one."

Seng looked away.

Vong sighed. "Chit said Meh's only going to get worse." She looked down at the ground. "At least he's right about that. It won't be long before she doesn't even know where she is."

Seng nodded sadly.

"He thinks as long as someone brings her food and pays for her medicine, she would be okay."

"But we can't leave her alone in her apartment."

"That's not what he's talking about."

Seng looked Vong straight in the eyes. "A Royal Lao government employee who successfully escaped from re-education camp so many years ago. In prison. Chit says it would send a strong message. The communists would like it."

"What does he mean?"

"Turning Meh in. In exchange for your freedom."

"He can't be serious." It was as if Vong had started to speak another language. He couldn't understand her.

"He is. He says if we go back to Laos, your life is on the line. You've heard about Lao prisons. But they'd go easy on an elderly woman. Especially one with Alzheimer's."

"He really thinks I'd send my mother to jail?" he asked. "What kind of person is he?"

"He's just trying to save your life, Seng. Meh wouldn't even know. She would be fed, have shelter. And you would be free. If Meh could make the choice, she would do it, I know she would. You read her letter. She was desperate to contact us all of these years, but she knew it would put us in danger. She wouldn't want your freedom taken from you like hers was." Her words were suddenly calm and measured.

"You agree with him?" Seng asked, an unfamiliar rage filling his heart.

"Forget I even said it. I just -"

"What?" he stopped.