The Mental Floss History Of The World Part 2

Drinking: UP UP

Luckily for them, most ancient peoples had some kind of wine-meaning an alcoholic beverage stronger than beer, made from grapes or other fruit. Wine-making probably began shortly after 6000 BCE, when people started using clay to make pottery that was fired in ovens to create a hard, durable material for storage. Clay pots were used to store fruits and vegetables, and the first wine may have been the result of accidental fermentation of grapes or grape juice.

The earliest evidence of wine-making comes from the Zagros Mountains of northern Iran, where archaeologists excavated a kitchen with six clay jars that were being used to make some sort of wine between 5400 and 5000 BCE. One 2.5-gallon jar contained a yellow residue they believe is the remains of white wine made from green grapes.

Wine-making spread fast. The Sumerians were making wine by at least 3100 BCE, and clay seals depict Sumerian aristocracy enjoying small cups of wine along with beer served in clay jars-history's first double-fisters. Grapes weren't native to Egypt, but they were probably imported from Syria. Clay jars containing wine were included in Egyptian burial offerings, and by the second millennium BCE, there were five distinct "brands" of wine from Delta vineyards that dead pharaohs could sip in the afterlife.

STARTING A TAB.

Some of the first written records in Mesopotamia (Iraq) are inventories for jugs of wine.

On the other end of Asia, Chinese legend says that around 2100 BCE, Emperor Yidi invented a method for fermenting millet to make "yellow wine." In burial sites in Anyang and the Yellow River Basin, archaeologists found clay vessels dating to the Shang Dynasty that amazingly still contained actual liquid wine. The Shang-era wines were flavored with herbs, flowers, and tree resin.

And of course the ancient Greeks of the Minoan and Mycenaean civilizations were big fans of wine. Archaeologists have discovered a foot press for mashing grapes on Crete that is dated to about 1600 BCE. Greek legend is replete with references to the role of wine in the lives of G.o.ds, heroes, and ordinary mortals. Intoxication with wine may have facilitated shamanistic rituals, and extreme intoxication may have produced visions akin to those produced by hallucinogenic drugs such as peyote or mushrooms. A prominent example is the cult of Dionysus, the Greek G.o.d of wine, whose followers held ritual orgies where they tore live bulls apart with their teeth and bare hands.

Comparative Religion Hey, Who Put All This c.r.a.p Here?

Early cultures had no friggin' idea where the universe came from, but this didn't stop them from making up some fairly bizarre explanations, which weirdly share more than a few similarities. In fact, so many details are shared between cultures that they suggest the existence of a primeval myth that originated with our earliest ancestors. Anyway, let's start at the beginning, with the Old Testament (even though it actually followed the Sumerians, but they can't stop us-because they're dead)."In the beginning G.o.d created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of G.o.d moved upon the face of the waters. And G.o.d said, Let there be light: and there was light." So far, so good. G.o.d then says, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness," and places his creation, Adam, in the Garden of Eden. Noticing Adam is lonely, G.o.d makes Eve from one of Adam's ribs to keep him company. It all goes awry when a malicious snake, Satan, talks Eve into eating an apple from the forbidden (yet curiously unguarded) Tree of Knowledge. Long story short: Adam also takes a bite, they become aware of s.e.x, G.o.d boots them from the Garden, and humanity is doomed to suffer forever because of their ill-considered snack. Sounds reasonable, yes? Sure it does.In the earlier Sumerian version, the universe begins as watery chaos in the form of Nammu, the G.o.ddess of the sea, who gives rise to the male sky, An, and the female earth, Ki. Their son, Enlil, becomes boss of the Sumerian pantheon by separating his parents and seizing control of his mother. (Freud, eat your heart out!) He and the other G.o.ds fashion human beings from mud mixed with the blood of a sacrificed G.o.d-"in their own image" kinda. Humans live as nomads at one with nature until Ninurta, the G.o.ddess of birth, tells them to build cities and fill the world with their descendants. (This may parallel Adam and Eve's departure from their natural state in Eden.)In the Greek creation myth, the universe also begins as dark void, "Chaos," totally empty except for a giant black bird named Nyx. She lays a golden egg-it's unclear where, since the universe is a void, but...whatever-the egg then hatches and gives birth to Eros, the G.o.d of love. The upper half of the sh.e.l.l becomes the sky, Ura.n.u.s, the lower half the earth, Gaea. Their descendants eventually become the G.o.ds, and eventually the chief G.o.d, Zeus, sends the t.i.tans Prometheus and Epimetheus to create human beings and animals, telling them to give both special powers. However, Epimetheus gives all the powers to the animals, leaving nothing for humans, so Prometheus steals divine fire from Mount Olympus and gives it to men-far more power than they needed, allowing them to rule all the other animals.The egg idea is a popular one, for obvious reasons. The Chinese creation myth says that the formless chaos of the universe slowly congealed into a black egg containing a human-like creature, Pangu, generally pictured with horns and fur (resembling the Greek G.o.d Pan). When Pangu hatched, he separated the two halves of the egg with a giant axe, making earth and heaven, which correspond to the two princ.i.p.al energies, yin and yang. When Pangu died, his breath became the sky, his eyes the sun and moon, his blood the rivers, and his body the land itself.And Enough with the Flooding, Already!

Most cultures also have stories about a "great flood" sent by angry G.o.ds to destroy mankind in the distant past. In Western civilization the most well known example is the story of Noah in the Bible. When G.o.d got fed up with mankind's disobedience and wickedness, he chose Noah and his family to perform a special mission: to build a huge boat (an ark) to hold breeding pairs of every animal to repopulate the world after the deluge.In the Sumerian version, the G.o.d Enki warns the king of Shuruppak, Ziusudra, that the G.o.ds have decided to destroy the world with a flood. Enki tells Ziusudra to build a large boat, where the king rides out the week-long flood. He prays to the G.o.ds, makes sacrifices, and is finally given immortality. According to Sumerian histories, the first Sumerian dynasty was founded by King Etana of Kish after this flood.Aboard ship take thou the seed of all living things.That ship thou shall build;Her dimensions shall be to measure.-Sumerian flood myth According to the ancient Greeks, the mythical demiG.o.d Prometheus warned his son, Deucalion, that a great flood was coming, and instructed him to build a giant waterproof chest to hold himself and his wife, Pyrrha. The rest of humanity was drowned, but Deucalion and Pyrrha rode out the nine days of rain and flooding in their chest. As the flood subsided, they washed up on Mount Othrys, in northern Greece. Zeus told Deucalion and his wife to throw stones over their shoulders, which became men and women to repopulate the world.Finally, Hindu mythology tells of a priest named Manu, who served one of India's first kings. Washing his hands in a river one day, Manu saved a tiny fish, who begged him for help. The grateful fish warned Manu that a giant flood was coming, so Manu built a ship on which he brought the "seeds of life" to plant again after the flood. The fish-actually a disguise for the chief G.o.d, Vishnu-then towed the vessel to a mountaintop sticking up above the water. Sound familiar?Though it's impossible to know if these stories refer to the same actual event, a couple of historical events are plausible candidates. The most compelling explanation is the huge rise in sea levels that occurred at the end of the last Ice Age, beginning about twelve thousand years ago (10,000 BCE). The melting of the polar ice caps raised sea levels almost four hundred feet around the world-which must have made quite an impression.

CRAZY ALTERNATIVE "SCIENCE" TIMELINE For the sake of objectivity, mental_floss now presents an alternative timeline of the origins of the Universe based on the findings of so-called "physical scientists."20 BILLION YEARS BCE: BILLION YEARS BCE: The Singularity. No one can really explain it. The Singularity. No one can really explain it.20 BILLION YEARS BCE BILLION YEARS BCE + 1 + 1 SECOND: SECOND: Protons and neutrons form. Specifics still TBD. Protons and neutrons form. Specifics still TBD.20 BILLION YEARS BCE BILLION YEARS BCE + 3 + 3 MINUTES: MINUTES: The nuclei of hydrogen and helium form from protons and neutrons. The nuclei of hydrogen and helium form from protons and neutrons.19 BILLION YEARS BCE: BILLION YEARS BCE: Stars begin to form cl.u.s.ters called galaxies. Stars begin to form cl.u.s.ters called galaxies.5 BILLION YEARS BCE: BILLION YEARS BCE: Our sun is born. Our sun is born.4.6 BILLION YEARS BCE: BILLION YEARS BCE: Our Earth forms from solar debris (which explains a lot). Our Earth forms from solar debris (which explains a lot).4.53 BILLION YEARS BCE: BILLION YEARS BCE: Our Earth and a quasi-planet, Theia, merge and then separate messily, creating the moon. Our Earth and a quasi-planet, Theia, merge and then separate messily, creating the moon.4.4 BILLION YEARS BCE: BILLION YEARS BCE: Life forms in tide pools. Good luck suckers-you'll need it! Life forms in tide pools. Good luck suckers-you'll need it!

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SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE...

Pretty Horses Ten(ish) miles per hour while running-that's the top speed humans could travel before they tamed horses. Few other animals can support the weight of a man while moving at speeds of up to forty miles per hour, or carry him thousands of miles without collapsing from exhaustion. A human being on a horse has huge advantages in speed and mobility, so it's no surprise that the first people to tame horses also conquered the world.Horses first evolved in North and South America about fifty-five million years ago, before migrating across the Bering Strait land bridge to Asia, Africa, and Europe. Around 8000 BCE a series of ma.s.s extinctions, probably due to the arrival of Native Americans, killed off large mammals in the Americas, including woolly mammoths, sabertooth tigers, and horses. In the meantime, rising sea levels submerged the land bridge, so horses couldn't migrate back to the Americas.The earliest evidence of domesticated horses dates to around 4500 BCE. The first people to domesticate horses lived around the Caspian Sea, in the Ural or Caucasus Mountains of southern Russia. They tamed a subspecies of the common horse called the tarpan, native to the area around the Black and Caspian seas. By around 2000 BCE, they had invented horse-drawn chariots. Sometimes they sacrificed horses and chariots together in burial offerings for their dead chieftains.Sharp Objects In early human history, our only material for toolmaking was stone, which was pretty easy to find. Thus, the "Stone Age," which is actually divided into three periods. In the Paleolithic (Old Stone Age), humans chipped off pieces that were used as crude blades. In the Mesolithic (Middle Stone Age), the tools got more sophisticated, with craftsmen producing specific shapes, such as triangles and trapezoids, which were probably used with wooden arrows or axe handles. These led to refined tools such as double-edged arrowheads and highly polished axes during the Neolithic (New Stone Age).The next step came when our clever ancestors figured out how to take nuggets of copper metal, which exist in nature, heat the metal to high temperatures, and then shape it into a blade or other useful shape by pounding it with rocks. The first copper implement on record dates to 6000 BCE, from a culture now known as the Old Copper Complex, which existed in modern-day Michigan and Wisconsin. Knowledge of copper-working arose independently in the Middle East, Asia, and Europe beginning in the fifth millennium BCE. Archaeologists call the period from 4300 to 3200 BCE the Copper Age, or Chalcolithic.Though copper tools were a big improvement over stone, copper blades bent easily and lost their edge on hard surfaces. Then, around 3200 BCE, metalworkers in Susa, Iran, discovered that copper became much stronger when it was melted and mixed with another metal, tin. The resulting alloy, bronze, was stronger than either metal in its pure form.Bronze gave ancient armies-the Sumerians, Egyptians, and Shang Dynasty Chinese-a big advantage over opponents armed with stone or copper weapons, cutting through enemies like a warm bronze knife through human b.u.t.ter (gross, but true). These weapons were produced in royal foundries (metal workshops) controlled by government officials. Because deposits of tin and copper don't usually occur in the same area, demand for bronze led to some of the world's first long-distance trade.Sharp Flying Flying Objects Objects Throwing rocks at animals and people is fine if you're a juvenile delinquent or a feral child, but if you're looking to do more than annoy your enemies, you're going to need something like a bow and arrow. How early humans. .h.i.t on this ingenious invention is a mystery, but it was a huge breakthrough. A taut bowstring could propel objects faster and more accurately than an unarmed man, giving the user a huge advantage in warfare and the hunt.The earliest arrows on record, which were tipped with flint arrowheads, date to between 9000 and 8000 BCE, during the late Paleolithic (Old Stone Age), from the Ahrensburg Valley north of Hamburg, Germany. The oldest bows found come from nearby Denmark, where they were preserved in a bog. These five-foot elm bows probably had animal skin or plant fiber strings, though no one knows for sure.

THE ICEMAN COMETH.

Born around 3300 BCE and preserved in an Alpine glacier, Oetzi looked like just another poor dead b.a.s.t.a.r.d to modern observers. The body, discovered by hikers in 1991, was first thought to be a recent murder victim by Austrian authorities; actually, he was murdered ages ago. The Austrians damaged Oetzi as they pried him out of the ice with a jackhammer, letting pa.s.sersby carry off various objects as souvenirs. Later, crowds touched the mummified body at the inquest, damaging it permanently with bacteria. The icing on the wake? It turns out the body was actually discovered on Italian soil, precipitating a not-so-minor diplomatic dispute. Oetzi is now on display at the South Tyrol Museum of Archaeology, in Bolzano, Italy.

During the Mesolithic (Middle Stone Age, beginning around 8000 BCE), arrows got longer-up to four feet-and probably went farther as bows became more powerful. By the Neolithic period, bows were made mostly of yew, a wood that is both strong and flexible, especially when soaked in water and heated. A Neolithic "caveman" whose body was preserved by ice in the Swiss Alps, nicknamed Oetzi (also otzi), carried an unfinished bow and bowstrings made of flax, a plant fiber. Around the same time, the Natufian culture of ancient Palestine and Syria used mechanical straighteners to make their arrows more accurate.By the time the world's first enduring civilizations popped up around 4000 BCE, bows and arrows were in use everywhere, and archers were an important part of organized armies. The ancient Egyptians' main opponents, the Hitt.i.tes, were experts with the bow and arrow, pairing one or two archers with a driver in a horse-drawn chariot beginning in the eighteenth century BCE. Around the same time, the a.s.syrians created a larger, heavier chariot that could hold an archer, a driver, and two shield-bearers. The most revolutionary development came from Central Asia, where Indo-European nomads combined archery with another skill, horseback riding, sometime in the second millennium BCE. A man on horseback equipped with a bow and arrow was even more mobile, and deadlier, than an archer paired with someone else driving a chariot. When the a.s.syrians picked up on this skill, bad things happened to their neighbors.Whatever Floats Your Boat It doesn't take a genius to notice that wood floats, and a big enough piece of wood can support the weight of living things. Plants and animals have migrated across thousands of miles of salt water by hitching rides on tree trunks. With a little creative thinking, early humans discovered they could, too.The first boats weren't too complicated: they were simply large tree trunks hollowed out with a stone or metal blade to make a s.p.a.ce for rowers to sit. People in what are now the Netherlands, Denmark, Germany, and Finland were making dugout canoes around 9000 BCE. Some specimens from Denmark dated to around 5000 BCE are more than thirty feet long. They were probably used for cod fishing, whaling, and trade. They could also serve as coffins and funeral pyres for important people such as chieftains-a custom continued by the Vikings.The design was so simple and effective that it was developed independently by different cultures all around the world. In j.a.pan, people of the Jomon culture were using dugout canoes by 7500 BCE. In Africa the oldest dugout canoe on record comes from Nigeria, where it was carved around 6000 BCE. Tall trees in tropical forests allowed ambitious boaters to carve some huge canoes. The Taino people of the Caribbean made boats more than 90 feet long, manned by 80 rowers, and in Africa some dugout canoes were up to 120 feet long.The undisputed masters of the dugout canoe are the Polynesians, who get the prize for greatest distance traveled. Their typical seagoing dugout was "just" thirty to sixty feet in length, but it could carry families and livestock thousands of miles across the open ocean. People from Southeast Asia began fanning out across the islands of the South Pacific around 1500 BCE. One wave of settlement jumped from New Guinea to Samoa-a distance of twenty-five-hundred miles. Then, between 400 and 700 CE, the Polynesians did it again, making another twenty-five-hundred-mile trek from Samoa to Hawaii. The Polynesians regularly traveled back and forth between is lands for long-distance trade. To navigate these huge distances they created detailed maps made of twigs, seash.e.l.ls, and stones that showed the positions of islands, currents, and stars.The G.o.ddess of Beer One of the first things humans did with grain was ferment it to make alcohol. Beer was a source of nutrition, with the bonus of giving drinkers a buzz. There's evidence of Sumerians brewing a primitive beer as far back as 3000 BCE. In fact, they liked beer so much that it got its own patron G.o.ddess, an important figure called Nin-Kasi, and a lot of the information we have on the Sumerians comes from religious texts devoted to her.

WE LIKE TO PARTY.

There's no question the ancient Sumerians used beer to get drunk and go wild. They were very open about it, even leaving doc.u.ments depicting their drunken activities. A clay placard from around 1800 BCE found in Babylon depicts a woman drinking beer from a jar with a straw while having s.e.xual intercourse. And a poem in praise of Nin-Kasi from around the same time reads, "I feel wonderful, drinking beer, in a blissful mood."

The first mention of Nin-Kasi appears around 2900 BCE. Her name means "Lady Who Fills the Mouth" or "She Who Satisfies the Desires." She was the brewer of beer, but also the beer itself. The deity of beer was a G.o.ddess because most Sumerian brewers and tavern keepers were women, and most early brewing took place in the home. Siduri, one of the minor G.o.ddesses in the Sumerian pantheon, was a tavern keeper.Indeed, it wasn't just humans who liked beer: the G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses were also big fans. According to Sumerian myth, Enki, the G.o.d of springs and well water, got drunk with Inanna and gave her some of his most important powers-a move he later regretted. The G.o.ds also pa.s.sed around a beer jug at their banquet in Babylon to celebrate the founding of the city.The Great-Granddaddy of Rock 'n' Roll Music might be the biggest mystery of the ancient world. Archaeologists have found musical instruments and depictions of people playing them, but it's hard to figure out what the music sounded like. To make things even more mysterious, most early music was probably unaccompanied singing.Our first musical instrument is ourselves: we can sing (well, some of us) and clap our hands or stomp our feet for percussion. A lot of early music probably consisted of prayers chanted by a priest, or the ritual recitation of oral history by an older member of the village pa.s.sing along stories from previous generations. As in contemporary religious ceremonies, there may have been "call and response" parts where the audience repeated key phrases or answered "questions."The first actual musical instrument on record in China is a bone flute at least seven thousand years old, followed by "pan" pipes and bronze bells. In ancient Egypt the female relatives of royal officials played the harp and sang at ceremonies honoring G.o.ds and dead people. Beautiful female singers also entertained the wealthy at banquets. Meanwhile making instruments was a prestigious leisure activity enjoyed by the rich and powerful: the coronation inscription of Pharaoh Thutmose III says he made "a splendid harp wrought with silver, gold, lapis lazuli, malachite, and every splendid costly stone."There's a lot less information about the music of ordinary people, though we have some clues. In Egypt, women would chant to pa.s.s the time while grinding grain. In Sumeria, regular folks would unwind at taverns with an early form of beer and entertainment provided by female musicians-possibly also prost.i.tutes. One seal from around 2500 BCE found in Ur depicts a man and woman drinking beer while a woman plays a bull-headed lyre.

YOU DON'T WANT TO SMOKE THAT...

So what is the difference between marijuana and hemp, anyway? First of all, here's what they have in common: both are varieties of Cannabis sativa, Cannabis sativa, and both smell like, well, weed. The main difference is their history of human cultivation. Marijuana was bred to maximize its narcotic properties for thousands of years, while hemp was bred to maximize its useful fibers. Thus the plants are literally opposites within the and both smell like, well, weed. The main difference is their history of human cultivation. Marijuana was bred to maximize its narcotic properties for thousands of years, while hemp was bred to maximize its useful fibers. Thus the plants are literally opposites within the Cannabis Cannabis genus. Marijuana plants tend to be short, measuring eight to ten feet tall at most, with large reproductive buds containing up to 20 percent tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). Meanwhile, hemp plants can grow to twenty-five feet tall, with never more than 1 percent THC. genus. Marijuana plants tend to be short, measuring eight to ten feet tall at most, with large reproductive buds containing up to 20 percent tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). Meanwhile, hemp plants can grow to twenty-five feet tall, with never more than 1 percent THC.Note: Even though George Washington advised farmers to "make the most of the hemp seed and sow it everywhere," American farmers are still being locked up for growing the plant! Even though George Washington advised farmers to "make the most of the hemp seed and sow it everywhere," American farmers are still being locked up for growing the plant!

Looking Dope Alongside wheat, hemp was probably the first plant cultivated by humans for its useful properties-and no, they weren't using it to get high. Hemp fiber stripped from the stems of the plant is a strong, durable material for making clothes. In fact, the oldest evidence of human handicraft (other than stone tools) is a piece of hemp cloth from Catal Huyuk, in Turkey, that's about ten thousand years old.Paleobotanists (scientists who study ancient plant remains) believe hemp originated in Central Asia, somewhere in a range covering Afghanistan, Tibet, and Kazakhstan. With human help, hemp spread east and west simultaneously, arriving in China by 10,000 BCE, Mesopotamia by 8000 BCE, Europe by 1500 BCE, and India by 800 BCE. Over time, human cultivation led to the creation of distinct biological strains in these different areas.Hemp spread because it was incredibly useful. Around 2500 BCE in China it replaced much weaker bamboo fiber as material for bowstrings, with Chinese royalty and n.o.bility devoting large amounts of land to hemp cultivation. There's "ghost" evidence that China actually beat Catal Huyuk on the hemp cultivation timeline: marks left by knotted hemp cords appear on Chinese pottery twelve thousand years old, though the hemp itself burned away.From ancient times newly crowned emperors of j.a.pan have worn special hemp clothing when they perform a special ceremony called Daijosai, Daijosai, which confirms their new position. In the which confirms their new position. In the Daijosai, Daijosai, the emperor offers sacrifices to Amaterasu, the female G.o.ddess of the sun in the Shinto religion. The sacrifices include grains, livestock, and silkworms, representing Amaterasu's authority over food a n d clothing. Clothing the emperor in hemp-source of both food and clothing-is a sign of respect for the G.o.ddess. the emperor offers sacrifices to Amaterasu, the female G.o.ddess of the sun in the Shinto religion. The sacrifices include grains, livestock, and silkworms, representing Amaterasu's authority over food a n d clothing. Clothing the emperor in hemp-source of both food and clothing-is a sign of respect for the G.o.ddess.[image]

AND THANKS, BUT NO THANKS, FOR...

A Hole in the Head Have you ever had a headache so bad you wanted to bore a hole in your skull to let the evil spirits out? No? Well, then it's a good thing you didn't live five thousand years ago, because that was an accepted and very popular medical technique.The practice, called trepanning, has been around since at least twelve thousand years ago. Neolithic shamans, or medicine men, treated various ailments-possibly including migraines, brain tumors, and insanity-by boring a hole about the size of a half-dollar coin in the rear or top of the skull. Evidence of the practice has been found all over the world, with trepanned skulls discovered in Asia, Europe, Africa, Australia, and North and South America. It was apparently a favorite treatment: at one Neolithic burial site in France, 40 out of 120 skulls had been trepanned.Amazingly, many subjects survived the procedure, which was performed using a sharp rock and no anesthetic. In fact, the patients may have demanded it: some disorders affecting the brain, such as hematomas, create a feeling of intense, excruciating pressure inside the skull, and trepanning may work to relieve this symptom. Even more remarkable, some skulls found had multiple bore holes, meaning the procedure was performed several times.The popularity of trepanning continued long after the end of the Neolithic period. It was still standard practice in ancient Greece, when the physician Hippocrates wrote a manual for performing the operation correctly. Roman doctors would grind up the pieces of bone they extracted through trepanning for use in medicines to treat other ailments. Trepanning was practiced in Europe as late as the eighteenth century.Grave Robbing Despite the elaborate security precautions, virtually every single tomb in the Egyptian pyramids was looted by grave robbers. And the robbers weren't just looking for gold and jewels: they wanted it all, all, meaning dozens of mummies were looted along with their treasures. meaning dozens of mummies were looted along with their treasures.At the pyramid of the Pharaoh Khfare, sacrilegious thieves replaced the mummy with animal bones. Even the "Father of Pyramids," Khufu's Great Pyramid at Giza, was looted-particularly ironic because Khufu had ordered extra security measures for his pyramid after his father's tomb was robbed. Khufu's designer, Ankhaf, changed the location of the royal burial chamber midway through the giant project, and included several false or "dummy" chambers to confuse grave robbers.

YOU MIGHT NEED TWO SPOONFULS OF SUGAR...

Who knew that mummies had medicinal properties? Actually, they don't. And they can be incredibly toxic. But that didn't stop stupid people from grinding them up and using them to "cure" incurable diseases. From the twelfth to the nineteenth centuries CE, wealthy, not-so-bright Europeans paid top dollar for "mummia" to make tea or eat straight up for any variety of ailments, including epilepsy, paralysis, bruises, and migraines.

Robbing pyramids was a large-scale undertaking, calling for hundreds of men to bore through tons of stone. At the pyramid of the Pharaoh Djedefre you can still see the pa.s.sage grave robbers tunneled through the stone to get at the pharaoh's burial treasure. A long tunnel at the tomb of Senusret I, whose twists and turns evade granite blocks intended to frustrate robbers, suggests that the robbers were familiar with the pyramid's design-maybe from an inside source.The thieves grew bolder as time went on: in the pyramid of Pharaoh Huni, at Meidum, sloppy tomb robbers left behind a small wooden hammer propping up the stone lid of the pharaoh's sarcophagus. Even more audacious, the thieves who looted the pyramid of Senusret III left behind crude graffiti depicting themselves on the walls of the royal burial chamber, an apparent taunt to the descendants of the dead pharaoh.It's unclear if royal priests were actively involved in the looting of the pyramids, or were merely incompetent. However, there's some evidence of deceit. When the tomb of Queen Hetepheres, the wife of Snefru, was robbed during the reign of her son Khufu, the priests in charge of reburying the pharaoh's mother interred an empty casket to cover up the fact that they couldn't find her body...and they never told Khufu the truth.Keeping It in the Family In the ancient world, it was all about banging your sister...if you were rich enough. Cultural anthropologists say there is a universal "taboo" against incest, with every culture in the world condemning s.e.xual intercourse between family members-but the rulers of the ancient world clearly didn't get the memo.You might think religious authorities would frown on incest, but it's pretty hard to condemn what the G.o.ds themselves are doing. In the Mesopotamian pantheon, the chief G.o.d Enlil slept with his mother, Ki, to create life, and his brother Enki did him one better: he slept with his daughter, with the granddaughter thus conceived, and then with his great-granddaughter from that relationship!No surprise, then, that the Sumerian royal family was pretty relaxed about family members knocking the boots. To preserve royal blood and keep power in the family, it was standard practice for Sumerian princes to marry their half-sisters by their father. But there was a double-standard: incest among regular folks was strictly forbidden, with punishments ranging from exile to being burned alive.

AS LONG AS IT'S IN THE NAME OF G.o.d...

The practice of incest carried over from Sumerian culture into early Judaism. Abraham, the founder of Judaism, was a Sumerian prince who gave up the good life to preach his vision of a single all-powerful G.o.d. But he didn't give up Sumerian royal habits: his wife, Sarah, was also his half-sister. Of course there's plenty of incest to go around in the Old Testament. When it looked like the Jewish people were in danger of extinction, the daughters of Abraham's nephew, Lot, got their father drunk and conceived two children by him.

The Egyptians really went to town. Again, the G.o.ds led the way: the G.o.d of death and resurrection, Osiris, was married to his sister, Isis. And just for fun the Egyptians threw necrophilia into the mix: after she rea.s.sembled the dead body of her brother-husband, Isis impregnated herself with his s.e.m.e.n and gave birth to Horus, who succeeded Osiris as ruler of Egypt.By the time of the pharaohs, men were firmly in control of the family, but royal blood was still pa.s.sed by the women. Incestuous marriages helped preserve royal blood, keeping property in the family. The Egyptians' att.i.tude is clear in their written language of hieroglyphics. The word sister sister could also mean "lover," "mistress," or "wife"! could also mean "lover," "mistress," or "wife"!The pharaohs didn't hesitate to marry their sisters (and daughters) and conceive children with them. Because they possessed royal blood, the daughters of the pharaoh weren't allowed to marry beneath their position-which pretty much eliminated any prospects besides good ol' dad. One of the greatest Egyptian pharaohs, Ramesses II, married four of his own daughters: Bintanath, Meritamen, Nebettawi, and Hentmire. Bintanath is known to have borne him at least one child.BY THE NUMBERS [image]

125,000.

estimated world population 100,000 BCE 110 million estimated world population 10,000 BCE 100 million estimated world population 3000 BCE 300 million estimated world population 1000 BCE

12.

number of subspecies of the genus h.o.m.o h.o.m.o (man) that existed before the arrival of (man) that existed before the arrival of h.o.m.o sapiens sapiens h.o.m.o sapiens sapiens

1.

Number of women living in 150,000 BCE to whom all human mitochondrial DNA can be traced

20.

average human life expectancy 100,000 years ago

22.

average human life expectancy in Sumeria 5,000 years ago

75.

average American life expectancy in 2006 5'1".

average height of a human male 10,000 years ago 5'9".

average height of an American man today 1,500.

average daily caloric intake of Stone Age sh.e.l.l fisherman 10,000 years ago 2,700.

average daily caloric intake of a contemporary American man 1 in 2 chance that a newborn child would die before the age of five, 10,000 years ago 133.

number of times the word smite smite appears in the Old Testament appears in the Old Testament 190.

number of times the word wrath wrath appears in the Old Testament appears in the Old Testament 3,000.

number of years Egypt was ruled by the pharaohs 170.

number of pharaohs in that period

31.

number of dynasties that ruled Egypt in that period 20,000.

number of inscribed clay tablets found in the royal library at Ur

CHAOS AND CONTROL.

(1500 BCE500 BCE)

IN A NUTSh.e.l.l.

If you're a "gla.s.s half empty" type of person, you might say human history has been an endless series of disasters, with sporadic breaks to let us catch our breath. And even the optimists among us have to admit that this era was a catastrophe. In fact, it got so bad that some historians call it the ancient "Dark Ages."

Just when it looked like everything was calming down in the wake of the Indo-European invasions, it all went to h.e.l.l again around 1500 BCE. Leading the way were mysterious peoples who attacked established civilizations across Europe and the Middle East. Some of these groups were Indo-European, but their invasions are distinct from the Indo-European or "Aryan" migrations that began almost a thousand years earlier. For the most part, the reasons for their migrations are unknown.

In the Middle East, a group of seafaring invaders known only as the Sea Peoples invaded Egypt and the Hitt.i.te Empire of central Turkey around 1200 BCE. The Sea Peoples were the most serious threat faced by either kingdom-in fact the Hitt.i.tes collapsed. But n.o.body knows exactly where they came from, or why they suddenly invaded. Eventually the threat receded, but the chaos they created led to the rise to power of an extraordinarily cruel group of conquerors known as the a.s.syrians.

Meanwhile, to the west, the Mycenaean civilization of Greece was overthrown by foreigners (or were they?) known as Dorians. These invaders from north of Greece soon controlled most of the Greek peninsula. The Dorians and the Sea Peoples may have been one and the same, but there's no way to be sure, as so little is known about them.

Although they're not usually included in histories of the other barbarian upheavals of the time, the Jews fled Egypt during this period. They established a Jewish kingdom in Canaan, their Promised Land, but soon discovered that their neighbors there, the a.s.syrians and Babylonians, were even less friendly than the Egyptians.

And far to the south, sub-Saharan Africa saw the migration of the Bantu people from modern-day Nigeria into the rainforests of Central Africa-and beyond. Like the a.s.syrians in the Middle East, the Bantu were helped by iron weapons, which gave them a tactical advantage over Stone Age peoples from the Congo River to South Africa.

The chaos didn't affect every part of the planet. During this same time, China enjoyed a long period of stability under the Zhou Dynasty, and Central America saw the flowering of its first civilization, the Olmecs, who created a glittering urban culture with traditions later embraced by the Mayans and the Aztecs.

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