The McNaughtens Part 12

Spruce Exactly. Your money or our lives.

McNaughten He's very rude and I don't like him.

Spruce What a time for reflections.

McNaughten If you are in such a hurry, sir, so much the worse for you. I'll seek another time to be angry. I haven't got a hundred pounds, but here are sixty.

(To Spruce) Give it to him, to calm him.

(Aside) Ah, if I were not in line for this sixty thousand pounds, I would die fighting, before I gave him a farthing. He looks formidable, though.

It would be quite a skirmish.

Spruce Here's more than half your debt, sir. Tomorrow, you will have the entire amount.

McNaughten I want it clearly understood, that I protest, I do not owe you a penny. I am paying you, only because you insist that I do.

Squire (taking the purse) Goodday, sir, goodday. I see your soul. You spoke of honor to me, but this proves the contrary. Never come near me again. No more of this business. My n.o.bility would be degraded in the presence of a coward like you.

(Exit Squire)

McNaughten Ha, has he got a nerve, to talk like that? Where am I? In what country? Can this be England? What a race of perjurers. Men, women, squires, merchants, customs officers, Welshmen. They all seem united in an effort to enrage me. I don't know one of them, and they all pretend to be my best friend come to surprise me. Let's go to Torrington and get out of this frightful situation.

(McNaughten starts to leave)

Spruce (running after him and catching him) Don't you want me to escort you to him?

McNaughten I have no further need of your help. I am obliged to you for the services you have rendered. (giving him some money) I couldn't praise them more. But, from now on, I am so extremely suspicious that I am going to fend for myself. Then, I will have only myself to blame if something further goes wrong.

(Exit McNaughten)

Spruce That fellow has got all his wits about him. He must decamp or go mad.

Still, if he stays a bit longer, he'll end up paying off all my master's creditors.

(Enter the Captain)

Captain Ah, my beloved Spruce, you see me beside myself. My fortune is so great that I can hardly believe it. I have got the money--look! It has force and power. All portable. Bills of Exchange--the best in London.

I will purchase two or three t.i.tles--with the best estates in England.

Spruce What a windfall! Wealth comes to you from all sides. Please, let me look over the notes. Beautiful engraving, excellent workmanship.

Pretty names. Superb style. Freely negotiable--not like love letters on cheap paper where love distills itself in faded oaths, and idle nonsense.

Captain I know their worth better than you. But, just as the money did little for me in the past, I hope, in the future, that it will serve me the same way it does others.

Spruce You don't know how luck has favored you. Your brother was just here, and the Squire who loaned you a hundred pounds, suddenly appeared, asking for the money. Your brother, naturally enough, thought the man was insane. But the Squire, tiring of excuses drew his sword on the spot. Your twin didn't care to fight--prudently, in my opinion, for that Squire is the very Devil when his Welsh blood is up. So, your brother gave half of it to the Squire, who took it as a reduction,

Captain I am obliged to him for paying my debts.

Spruce You don't owe him too much. He's done you a lot of harm with Flavella!

Captain (concerned) He's seen her?

Spruce Oh, indeed. He's a little brutal. He satirized her and said some things that would put any woman's dander up. And, of course, she took it as coming from you. Flavella left, rather incensed.

Captain I've got to undeceive her of this error. But I see her coming. Where are you heading, Madame? Where are you off to?

(Enter Flavella)

Flavella Someplace you are not.

Spruce There's t.i.t for tat.

Flavella I am going to Urania's to tell her she may have you. Love her, I consent. I give her to you. I vow, henceforth, to flee you like a monster and never see you more.

Captain Madame--

Flavella In return for the most intense love, what do I receive from you?

Injury and invective! It seems I appear to you without honor, wit or attraction.

Captain Madame, listen to me--

Flavella Never. I don't understand how it is possible to be so brutal or to have the audacity, the cold blood, to say such hard things to my very face.

Captain You know that in a public place--

Flavella I don't know a thing.

Captain Everything's all right--

Spruce Listen, without so much pa.s.sion.

Flavella Do you intend that I expose myself again to his stupidities?

Spruce My Lord, no. You jump to conclusions. In one moment, I am going to dispel all these clouds and prove that you are both wrong (Flavella and the Captain protest) and both right.

Flavella Yes, I'm certainly right, as even you, can see.

Captain And I am not wrong.

Spruce All this little squabbling excites you. In two words it will be all over. The gentleman has said certain harsh words to you?

Flavella Past all belief.

Captain But I say--

Spruce Peace--away with petulance. I won't talk to either of you, if you are always going to interrupt. The man who made this impertinent speech to you is him--except he's not him. It's only his figure, manner, name, and face. The one looks like the other. But, they differ, both are not the same, and, in fact, are two! Thus, the other one is him--dressed in his skin, the portrait of my Captain--he's the one who spoke so unfeelingly to you.

Flavella With what kind of nonsense do you hope to confuse me?

Captain Don't go off without listening to him speak.