The Manxman Part 62

Pete scratched his chin through his beard. "The bones? Oh, the bones?

Aw, no, we're not ateing the bones, at all." Then with a rush, as his eyes kindled, "But the dog, you see--coorse we always give the bones to the dog--Dempster's dead on bones."

Dempster was lying at the moment full length under the table, snoring audibly. Mrs. Gorry cleared the cloth, and Kate took up her sewing and turned towards the sideboard.

"Has any one seen my pattern?" she asked.

"Pattern?" said Pete, diving into his jacket-pocket. "D'ye say pattern," he muttered, rummaging at his side. "Is this it?" and out came the yellow paper, crumpled and greasy, which had gone in with the chops. "Bless me, the stupid a man is now--I took it for a pipe-light."

Kate's smile vanished, and she fled out to hide her face. Then Pete whispered to Philip, "Let's take a slieu round to the 'Plough.'"

They were leaving the house on that errand when Kate came back to the hall. "Just taking a lil walk, Kirry," said Pete. "They're telling me it's good wonderful after dinner for a wake digestion of the chest," and he coughed repeatedly and smote his resounding breast.

"Wait a moment and I'll go with you," said Kate.

There was no help for it. Kate's shopping took them in the direction of the "Plough." Old Mrs. Beatty, the innkeeper, was at the door as they pa.s.sed, and when she saw Pete approaching on the inside of the three, she said aloud--meaning no mischief--"Your bread and cheese and porter are ready, as usual, Capt'n."

V.

The man was killing her. To be his spoiled and adored wife, knowing she was unworthy of his love and tenderness, was not happiness--it was grinding misery, bringing death into her soul. If he had blamed her for her incompetence; if he had scolded her for making his home cheerless; nay, if he had beaten her, she could have borne with life, and taken her outward sufferings for her inward punishment.

She fell into fits of hysteria, sat whole hours listless, with her feet on the fender. Pete's conduct exasperated her. As time went on and developed the sweetness of Pete, the man grew more and more distasteful to her, and she broke into fits of shrewishness. Pete hung his head and reproached himself. She wasn't to mind if he said things--he was only a rough fellow. Then she burst into tears and asked him to forgive her, and he was all c.o.c.k-a-hoop in a moment, like a dog that is coaxed after it has been beaten.

Her sufferings reached a climax--she became conscious that she was about to become a mother. This affected her with terrible fears. She went back to that thought of a possible contingency which had torn her with conflicting feelings on the eve of her marriage. It was impossible to be sure. The idea might be no more than a morbid fancy, born of her un-happiness, of her secret love for Philip, of her secret repugnance for Pete (the inadequate, the uncouth, the uncongenial) but nevertheless it possessed her with the force of an overpowering conviction, it grew upon her day by day, it sat on her heart like a nightmare--the child that was to be born to her was not the child of her husband.

VI.

In spite of Pete's invitations, Philip came rarely. He was full of excuses--work--fresh studies--the Governor--his aunt. Pete said "Coorse," and "Sartenly," and "Wouldn't trust," until Philip began to be ashamed, and one evening he came, looking stronger than usual, with a more sustaining cheerfulness, and plumped into the house with the words, "I've come at last!"

"To stay the night?" said Pete.

"Well, yes," said Philip.

"That's lucky and unlucky too, for I'm this minute for Peel with two of the boys to fetch round my Nickey by the night-tide. But youll stay and keep the wife company, and I'll be back first tide in the morning.

You'll be obliged to him, won't you, Kate?" he cried, pitching his voice over his shoulder; and then, in a whisper, "She's a bit down at whiles, and what wonder, and her so near--but you'll see, you'll see," and he winked and nodded knowingly.

There was no harking back, no sheering off on the score of modesty before Pete's large faith. Kate looked as if she would cry "Mercy, mercy!" but when she saw the same appeal on Philip's face she was stung.

Pete went off, and then Kate and Philip sat down to tea. While tea lasted it was not hard to fill the silences with commonplaces. After it was over she brought him a pipe, and they lapsed into difficult pauses.

Philip puffed vigorously and tried to look happy. Kate struggled not to let Philip see that she was ill at ease. Every moment their imagination took a new turn. He began to read a book, and while they sat without speaking she thought it was hardly nice of him to treat her with indifference. When he spoke she thought he was behaving with less politeness than before. He went over to the piano and they sang a part song, "Oh, who will o'er the downs so free?" Their voices went well enough together, but they broke down. The more they tried to forget the past the more they remembered it. He twiddled the backs of his fingertips over the keyboard; she swung on one foot and held to the candle-bracket while they talked of Pete. That name seemed to fortify them against the scouts of pa.s.sion. Pete was their bulwark. It was the old theme, but played as a tragedy, not as a comedy, now.

"It is delightful to see you settled in this beautiful home," he said.

"_Isn't_ it beautiful?" she answered.

"You ought to be very happy."

"Why should I not be happy?" with a little laugh.

"Why, indeed? A home like a nest and a husband that worships you-----"

She laughed again because she could not speak. Speech was thin gauze, laughter was rolling smoke; so she laughed and laughed.

"What a fine hearty creature he is!" said Philip.

"Isn't he?" said Kate.

"Education and intellect don't always go together."

"Any wife might love such a husband," said Kate.

"So simple, so natural, so unsuspicious-----"

But that was coming to quarters too close, so they fell back on silence.

The silence was awful; the power of it was pitiless. If they could have spoken the poorest commonplaces, the spell might have dissolved. Philip thought he would rise, but he could not do so. Kate tried to turn away, but felt herself rooted to the spot. With faces aside, they remained some moments where they were, as if a spirit had pa.s.sed between them.

Mrs. Gorry came in to lay the supper, and then Kate recovered herself.

She got back her power of laughter, and laughed at everything. He was not deceived. "She loves me still," said the voice of his heart. He hated himself for the thought, but it haunted him with a merciless persistence. He remembered the evening of the wedding-day, and the imploring look she gave him on going away with Pete; and he returned to the idea that she had been married under the compulsion of her father, Caesar, the avaricious hypocrite. He told himself it would be easy to kindle a new fire on the warm hearth. As she laughed and he looked into her beautiful eyes and caught the nervous twitch of her mouth, he felt something of the old thrill, the old pa.s.sion, the old unconditioned love of her who loved him in spite of all, and merely because she must. But no! Had he spent six months abroad for nothing? He would be strong; he would be loyal. If need be he would save this woman from herself.

At last Kate lit a candle and said, "I must show you to your room."

She talked cheerily going upstairs. On the landing she opened the door of the room above the hall, and went into it, and drew down the blind.

She was still full of good spirits, said perhaps he had no night-shirt, so she had left out one of Pete's, hoped he would find it big enough, and laughed again. He took the candle from her at the threshold, and kissed the hand that had held it. She stood a moment quivering like a colt, then she bounded away; there was the clash of a door somewhere beyond, and Kate was in her own room, kneeling before the bed with her face buried in the counterpane to stifle the sobs that might break through the walls.

Under all her lightness, in spite of all her laughter, the old tormenting thought had been with her still. Should she tell him? Could he understand? Would he believe? If he realised the gravity of the awful position in which she was soon to be placed, would he make an effort to extricate her? And if he did not, would not, could not, should not she hate him for ever after? Then the old simple love, the pure pa.s.sion, came hack upon her at the sight of his face, at the touch of his hand, at the sound of his voice? Oh, for what might have been--what might have been!

Pete's Nickey came into harbour with the morning tide, and the three breakfasted together. As Kate moved heavily in front of the fire, Pete crowed, cooed, and scattered wise winks round the table.

"More milk, mammy," he whimpered, and then he imitated all kinds of baby prattle.

After breakfast the men smoked, and Kate took up her sewing. She was occupying herself with the little labours, so pretty, so full of delicate humour and delicious joy, which usually open a new avenue for a woman's tenderness. Philip's eyes fell on her, and she dropped below into her lap the tiny piece of white linen she was working on. Pete saw this, stole to the back of her chair, reached over her shoulder, s.n.a.t.c.hed the white thing out of her fingers, held it outstretched in his ponderous hands, and roared like a smithy bellows. It was a baby's shirt.

"Never mind, darling," he coaxed, as the colour leapt to Kate's face.

"Philip must be a sort of a father to the boy some day--a G.o.dfather, anyway--so he won't mind seeing his lil shiff. We must be calling him Philip, too. What do you say, Kirry--Philip, is it agreed?"

VII.

As her time drew near, the conviction deepened upon her that she could not be confined in her husband's house. Being there at such a crisis was like living in a volcanic land. One false step, one pa.s.sionate impulse, and the very earth under her feet would split. "I must go home for awhile, Pete," she said.

"Coorse you must," said Pete. "n.o.body like the ould angel when a girl's that way."