The Man With The Golden Torc Part 18

Gone Fishing, on Golden Pool "I 've made a decision," I said to Molly.

"Good for you," said Molly.

"I've decided I don't want to meet any more rogues," I said.

"Not if they're going to be like the ones I've already met. I mean, one crazy, one shut-in, and one moral cripple? Is that the kind of future I've got to look forward to if by some miracle I survive the next few days?"

"Probably," said Molly. "If you give up, like they did. They were all afraid to do anything that mattered. How about you?"

"I'm going home," I said. And just like that, I was certain. "It's all that's left to me. I'm going back to the Hall, and the library, and my backstabbing family. Because they're the only ones I can be sure have the answers I need."

"Good for you!" said Molly. "I'm coming too!"

"No, you're b.l.o.o.d.y not," I said. "This is going to be difficult enough without having to look after you as well."

"I do not need looking after," said Molly, her face clouding up dangerously.

"You could die in a hundred ways just trying to get onto the Hall's grounds," I said, trying hard to sound reasonable. "My family is protected in ways even I don't like to think about sometimes."

"If you think I'm going to miss out on an opportunity to stick it to the Droods where they live, you've got another think coming. I've dreamed of revenge like this! Usually after eating cheese. I'm going with you, and you can't stop me!"

"Will you please keep the noise down?" growled Janissary Jane. She sat up slowly, wincing and groaning, and then peered blearily about her, taking in the unconscious Manifest Destiny soldiers piled up around her. "Must have been a h.e.l.l of a party...Shaman? That you? Where the h.e.l.l am I? And what have I been doing...? It feels like someone took a dump in my head."

"You were possessed by Archie Leech," I said, helping her to her feet.

"I drove his spirit out of your body, and then destroyed it. He won't be coming back. Ever."

"Leech? That rat t.u.r.d? He must have sneaked in while my defences were down. Hold everything; you destroyed him? No offence, Shaman-I mean, well done and thanks for everything and all that-but I never really saw you as being in Archie Leech's league."

"Yeah, well, that's because he isn't Shaman Bond," said Molly. "He's been fooling us all for years with that mild-mannered reporter s.h.i.t."

"Molly? You're here too?" Janissary Jane squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head slowly. It didn't seem to help. "Well, if he isn't Shaman Bond, who the h.e.l.l is he?"

"There's no easy way to say this," I said. "I'm a Drood, Jane. Eddie Drood, field agent, at your service. Only I'm not an agent for the family anymore. They made me rogue, so I'm on the run from everyone."

"I go to fight in the h.e.l.l dimensions for one lousy month, and the whole world stops making sense while I'm gone." Janissary Jane studied me suspiciously. "You're a Drood, Shaman? You? b.l.o.o.d.y good disguise...Eddie. You two-faced little s.h.i.t. Wait a minute; I'm still catching up here. You're a rogue? What did you do?"

"I don't know. But my family wants me dead. That's why Archie came after me." I thought it best to keep the explanations simple for the moment. And I didn't think I'd tell her that Archie had targeted her specifically just to get back at me. I could do that later. From a safe distance.

"At least you killed the b.a.s.t.a.r.d," Janissary Jane growled, running her hands over herself vaguely, as though checking for signs of recent interference. "I'll bet you didn't even take the time to torture him properly first, did you? No; I thought not. So, Eddie; why are we all here, who are all those sleeping beauties, and why are you hanging out with the infamous Molly Metcalf?"

"If I hear one more person use that word..." Molly said ominously.

"You mutilate a few cattle, abduct a few aliens, and you get a reputation..."

"Let us please not go there," I said quickly. "Jane, Molly and I are working together for the moment. On matters of mutual interest."

"Like what?" said Janissary Jane. "What could you two possibly have in common?"

"We're going back to his old family home to take names and kick a.r.s.e," Molly said happily. "And possibly burn the place to the ground while we're at it."

"You're not much of a one for keeping secrets, are you?" I said.

"You want to break into the Hall?" said Janissary Jane. "Better you than me. I've been to h.e.l.l and back so many times they made me up a special visa, and I still wouldn't go anywhere near the Hall. You couldn't bust through their defences with a tactical nuke. The Chinese tried, in 'sixty-four."

"Nineteen sixty-five, actually," I said.

"Shut up, Eddie; I'm on a roll," said Janissary Jane. "The point is, the Hall has serious defences. A hundred different ways to kill your intruder, all of them quite spectacularly vicious and nasty."

"Indeed," I said. "Spot on, in fact."

"So what you need," said Janissary Jane, "is a skeleton key."

Molly and I looked at each other. "What?" I said.

"You need something to get you through the Hall's defences without them kicking off on you. Something that'll let you sneak through."

"No, hold everything," I said. "There's no such thing. The whole point to my family's many and varied protections is that there are no weak points, no possibilities for overrides. My family has spent generations designing and improving on their defences, including multiple redundancies and a quite appalling attention to increasingly nasty details. It has to be that way, or our enemies would have wiped us all out long ago. We have a lot of enemies."

And then I broke off as a new wave of pain shot through me. It stabbed through my shoulder as though I'd just been shot again, a pain so bad it made me cry out despite myself, and then it slammed down through the whole of my left side. It hurt so bad I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I staggered and would have fallen if Molly and Janissary Jane hadn't been there to grab me from both sides.

"Shaman? What is it? Molly, what's wrong with him?"

"Elf lord shot him with an arrow made of strange matter," said Molly.

"The stuff's still in his system, poisoning him. Eddie, can you hear me? Eddie?"

"I'm all right," I said, or thought I said.

"Jesus, he looks bad," said Janissary Jane. "Should we get him to a healer? I know some good people, ask no questions..."

"It wouldn't help," Molly said flatly.

"Oh," Janissary Jane said quietly. "Like that, is it?" And after a moment, she said, "b.l.o.o.d.y elves. Vicious little t.u.r.ds. Okay, strange matter...Nasty stuff, yes; other dimensional...Really bad mojo, when you can get your hands on it, which mostly you can't. Never dealt with the stuff myself, but I know a man who has. Word is, he can even supply it direct from the source on occasion."

I forced strength back into my legs until they straightened and could hold me up again, and then I forced my head up to look at Janissary Jane. "Who?" I said.

"I think you need to lie down, Shaman. I mean, Eddie."

"Haven't got the time. I'll lie down when I'm dead." I breathed deeply, fighting down the pain and pushing it away through sheer force of will. I gently eased my arms out of Molly's and Janissary Jane's grips, and they immediately stepped back to give me some room, keeping a watchful eye on me. I could feel cold sweat drying on my face, but my thoughts were clear again. "Jane, who do you know that knows about strange matter?"

"The Blue Fairy."

"What?" said Molly. "Him? The man's a major-league p.i.s.s artist! Never met a bottle of booze he didn't like!"

"I saw him sober once," I said. "He looked awful."

Janissary Jane sighed loudly. "You of all people should know enough to look past the surface. You do know why he's called the Blue Fairy, don't you?"

"Well, yes," I said. "Because he's gay."

"No! I mean, yes, he's gay, but that's not where the name originally came from. It's because he's half elf."

"Oh, come on!" said Molly. "Are we talking about the same guy? That useless little t.i.t who's always sponging drinks at the Wulfshead?"

"He can't be half elf," I said. "Elves never breed outside their own kind. It's their strongest taboo, utterly forbidden."

"There's always a few who move to a different drummer," said Janissary Jane. "The elves have a special name for those who indulge outside the permitted gene pool. They call them perverts."

Molly smirked. "You mean they're humos.e.xuals?"

"Please," I said. "Let us not go there."

"The point," Janissary Jane said firmly, "is that the Blue Fairy has some elf abilities and even a few direct contacts within the Fae. I would be prepared to bet you good money that he was the one who supplied your elf lord with the strange matter to make his arrow. So he might be the man to go to for a cure. Certainly he knows more about strange matter than anyone else I know."

"All right," I said. I was feeling better, for the moment. "Any idea of where he's hiding out at the moment? He left his old place after the unfortunate incident with the kobold in Leicester Square. Though what they ever saw in each other..."

"He moved around a lot after that," said Janissary Jane. "And he went downhill rapidly. He didn't want any of his old friends to see what he'd been reduced to."

"h.e.l.l, we wouldn't have cared," said Molly.

"No, you probably wouldn't," said Janissary Jane. "But he did. The point is, I know where to find him. I throw him the odd commission, now and again, for old times' sake. If you want, I can take you right to him."

"I want," I said. "But we can't go gallivanting across London in plain sight, not while Manifest Destiny are after me. That's who the sleeping beauties belong to, by the way."

"You've got them mad at you as well?" said Janissary Jane. "Good for you! You continue to rise in my estimation, Eddie. Can't stand these amateur-night wannabe soldiers, in their pretty new uniforms. They give real mercenaries a bad name. Probably c.r.a.p their pants and then run a mile if you dropped them into a real war zone, crying for their mommies all the way."

"Could we at least make an effort to stick to the subject?" I said just a little plaintively. "The point is, it's not safe for Molly and me to travel openly across London, and she's all out of spatial portals."

"Well, how did I get here?" Janissary Jane said reasonably. "How did the Manifest Destiny a.r.s.eholes get here? They must have had transport, right?"

We all moved over to the shattered window and looked out. Down in the street below were three large black cars, parked in a row, that looked very familiar to me. I couldn't help but grin.

"Perfect," said Molly. "Look, they even have tinted windows, so no one can see in! No one's going to pay any attention to just another Manifest Destiny car out on patrol."

"All right," I said. "Let's go and give the Blue Fairy his wake-up call."

Molly insisted we take a little time to leave a suitably insulting message for whoever came to retrieve the unconscious Manifest Destiny soldiers. So she and Janissary Jane pulled down all the soldiers' trousers and underwear, commenting in loud and very unfair ways as they went along, and arranged the unconscious men in an erotic daisy chain. Then they stood back to admire their work and giggled a lot. Never let them give you to the women.

"I'd love to see them try to explain this to their superior officers when they turn up," Molly said happily, and Janissary Jane nodded solemnly.

While they were busy, I had my own ideas for a little useful mischief. I picked up Sebastian's stylised Edwardian telephone and phoned home. As always, they picked up on the first ring, and a familiar voice answered. One I'd never expected to talk to again.

"h.e.l.lo, Penny," I said. "Guess who?"

There was a sharp intake of breath at the other end, and then Penny's well-trained professionalism quickly rea.s.serted itself. "h.e.l.lo, Eddie. Where are you calling from?"

"Trace the line," I said. "By the time you can get here, I'll be long gone. But you'll still find something interesting waiting for you here. Now put me through to the Matriarch."

"You know I can't do that, Eddie. You've been officially declared rogue. I'm sure it's all a terrible mistake. Tell me where you are, and I'll send someone to pick you up."

"I want to talk to the Matriarch."

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Eddie."

"Of course she does. That's why she's listening in right now. Talk to me, Grandmother, and I'll tell you about Sebastian."

"I'm here, Edwin," said Martha Drood. I could hear the difference on the line as she went to secure mode. She knew we were about to discuss things that Penny wasn't cleared to know. Even though Penny was officially cleared to know everything.

"h.e.l.lo, Grandmother," I said, after a pause. We both sounded so very civilised, as though this was just a little family tiff, nothing that couldn't be settled over a nice cup of tea. "How does it feel, Martha, to be talking to a dead man? How did it feel to order the death of your own grandson?"

"The family comes first, Edwin; you know that." The Matriarch's voice was calm and even. "I will always do what is necessary to protect the family. All you had to do was die; and you couldn't even get that right, could you?"

"I would have died for you, for the family," I said, holding the phone so tightly my hand hurt. "If you'd given me a good reason, if you'd just trusted me enough to explain. I love the family, in my own way. But not anymore. You made me rogue, so rogue I'll be."

"Why did you call, Edwin? What do you want?"

"To tell you about Sebastian. Who is currently very unconscious in his flat. If you were to send some people here, they could collect him while he's helpless. And then you wouldn't have to worry about all those information parcels he's been holding over your heads. You see, my war is with you, Grandmother. Not with the family."

"I am the family. I am the Matriarch."

"Not for much longer," I said. "I've been digging up all your nasty little secrets, and I'm really very angry with you, Grandmother. For what's been done in the family name. I'm coming home, and not as the prodigal son. I'm coming home for the truth, even if I have to tear the family apart to get it. See you soon, Grandmother."

I hung up, and then just stood there for a moment. My hands were shaking. If I hadn't already known I was dying, I'd probably have been scared. I looked around for Molly and Janissary Jane. They'd only just remembered to go through the pile of discarded trousers, looking for car keys.

"Time to get moving, ladies. The family will be here soon."

"Okay," said Molly. "I think we've done about as much damage here as we can."

Janissary Jane drove the big black car through the streets of London because she knew the way, and because she had the car keys and refused to give them up. Molly sat in the backseat with me, arms tightly folded, sulking. She was never comfortable unless she was in charge. Janissary Jane drove far too fast and manoeuvred aggressively at all times, to keep our cover, she said, but finally we arrived at Wimbledon, still in one piece. Most people a.s.sociate the name only with tennis, but these days the area is eighty percent immigrant population and a thriving small-business community. Brightly coloured posters in the shop windows advertised unusual goods in Hindi and Urdu, and here and there blue-skinned nautch dancers gyrated down the street to electric sitar music. Our black car with its impenetrable tinted windows drew many cool and thoughtful glances as we glided smoothly through the narrow streets. Eventually Janissary Jane drew up outside a hole-in-the-wall liquor store, the kind of place that's always open, twenty-four hours a day, and there's always a sale going on. We got out of the car, and Molly and I looked inquiringly at Janissary Jane.

"The Blue Fairy has a studio apartment here, above the store," she said. "Brace yourselves. He's not very house proud these days. And we'll have to go through the shop to get to the flat, so remember, we're here to see Mr. Blue."

"Why...here?" I said.

"Would you look for him here?" said Janissary Jane, and I had to nod. She had a point.

Janissary Jane led the way into the liquor store. The walls were stacked from floor to ceiling with every kind of booze under the sun, many of them boasting labels I didn't even recognise. The middle-aged Pakistani behind the counter greeted us cheerfully, nodding quickly when he heard we were here to see Mr. Blue.

"Of course, indeed. h.e.l.lo again, Miss Jane; it is very good to see you again. Mr. Blue is indeed upstairs and at home; you go right up. He is resting, I believe, and a bit under the weather. I am sure it will do him good to have some friendly company."

He showed us through to the back, still smiling. We ascended some dimly lit stairs to the next floor and found a door with the right name next to a bell push. The door was standing slightly ajar. Not a good sign. I drew my Colt Repeater, Janissary Jane drew her two punch daggers, and Molly made her witch knife appear out of nowhere. I gestured for Janissary Jane and Molly to stick behind me. They ignored me, pressing silently forward, and I sighed inwardly. Janissary Jane pushed the door slowly open. It didn't make a sound. The room beyond was dark and shadowy, even though it was still afternoon. We slipped inside one at a time, prepared for the worst, but nothing could have prepared us for what we encountered.

The room was a mess. A real mess. The kind of mess you have to work at. My first thought was that the sitting room had been turned over by professionals looking for something, but it quickly became clear that no self-respecting professional agent would sully his hands on the general filth of this place. Grime and slime fought it out for most of the surfaces, what could be seen of the carpet was stained a dozen colours, and junk and debris formed a layer on the floor so thick we had to kick our way through it. Old clothes had piled up in the corner, perhaps for washing but more likely for burning, and takeaway food cartons clung stickily to each other. Something crunched wetly under my foot, and I really hoped it was just a c.o.c.kroach. The curtains weren't drawn, but the window gla.s.s was so thickly smeared with filth that the afternoon light had to fight its way through.

Empty bottles stood on every surface, mostly of India Pale Ale and Bombay Gin. There were pill bottles, and not the kind you get on prescription. Crinkled tinfoil, for chasing the dragon. And half a dozen syringes, with a cigarette lighter standing by to sterilize the needles. The only thing left after this was drinking mentholated spirits straight from the bottle in a cardboard box on the Charing Cross Embankment. a.s.suming the Blue Fairy lived that long.

We moved around the room as quietly as we could. No sign of any bad guys, and I was beginning to wonder if we were looking for a corpse rather than a person. I pushed open the bedroom door, and there was the Blue Fairy, lying facedown on his bed. Snoring gently and making mouth noises in his sleep. We all relaxed a little and put away our weapons. The Blue Fairy was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers well past their sell-by date and a charm bracelet around his left ankle. Janissary Jane and Molly and I had a brief but animated discussion over who was going to have to actually touch him long enough to turn him over. We played a few quick games of paper scissors rock, and I lost. I still think they cheated somehow. I took a firm hold on the Blue Fairy's surprisingly hairy shoulder, turned him over, and yelled his name right into his face. I then backed quickly away as he sat bolt upright in bed, hacking and coughing.