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Going back to her chest, a.n.u.shka extracted jars of dried plants that I did not recognize, putting a pinch of each into a basin, along with what I thought was a tortoise sh.e.l.l. On top of it all, she drizzled a dense and foul smelling liquid. With a touch of a lit candle the potion burst into flames, and she set the smoking basin between us.
"Look at me and inhale," she said, and then in a different tone she added, "Remember."
The smoke seared my nostrils, and with the word, magic rose in a torrent, from the earth, the sky, the flames, and the water they burned upon. Infinitely more power than she needed, but it was rich and heady on the air, ready for the taking.
Then the room fell away, and when I opened my eyes, I lay beneath the sun in the heat of summer. This was different from when I'd taken Catherine's memory then I had been but a witness. Now I was myself, but I was also her.
I lounged on a divan, my fingers trailing through gra.s.s so lush it felt like streamers of velvet. In the distance, the royal palace gleamed in the sun. It seemed far vaster than I remembered, but perhaps that was because I'd only ever seen it cloaked in shadow.
I no, a.n.u.shka lay in the gardens, but they were not made of gla.s.s. Instead, a natural beauty that the trolls would later try to mimic with their art surrounded her. Flowers, plants, and trees all rose up in a wild yet cultivated abandon, and through her eyes, I drank in colors more brilliant than any I'd seen. Tiny creatures with gossamer wings flitted between the flowers, the blooms opening with the touch of their tiny hands. It was a charmed place, as magical as the garden that now stood in its place. Only her eyes were not for the flowers or their tiny gardeners, but for the troll approaching her.
I recognized King Alexis from his portrait, but no painting could capture the arrogance of the man walking toward me. His utter surety that he was the most powerful creature in this world, and by that right, would one day rule it all. Dropping to his knees next to the divan, he caught a.n.u.shka's face between his hands and kissed her deeply. My mind clambered back and away from the feel of it.
a.n.u.shka turned her face away from his. "Someone might see."
"Let them." His voice was a growl in her ear. "I care not."
"She does."
Alexis sat back on his heels. "And since when do you care about that?"
I sensed this was an old argument that had been picked up in the middle, what I'd seen and heard not enough to account for the heat of emotion in a.n.u.shka's heart and the flash of annoyance in Alexis' silver eyes.
"Do you love her?" The knowledge that the troll queen had recently given birth drifted into my consciousness, and I knew a.n.u.shka was deeply irritated that for all his words, the King was still bedding them both.
"I'm bonded to her," he murmured, nuzzling her neck and nipping at her earlobe. "It's different."
"That is no answer."
Alexis left off kissing her throat and raised himself up on one elbow to look her in the eye. His were nearly identical in color and shape to Tristan's, but their expression was wholly unfamiliar. "My father chose Lamia because of her power and family. I chose you for your beauty and voice, and the delightful little things you can do with magic."
I heard the patronizing lilt in his voice, but a.n.u.shka seemed deaf to it. "You do owe me for your early rise to the throne."
"That's our secret." He held up one finger to his lips. "Besides, it was my magic you used to subdue my father and my magic that stopped his heart."
A flicker of annoyance ran through her that Alexis refused to give credit where it was due, but it was tempered by the glee she yet felt over ending the life of the troll who'd chosen Lamia. And besides, Alexis seemed well practiced at distracting her from her thoughts.
The flush heat of desire rose in her as he pulled down the bodice of her dress, his lips brushing against the curve of one breast. My discomfort was intense I felt like a voyeur. An interloper without the power to close my eyes or turn my head.
"You're supposed to be in the stadium," a.n.u.shka whispered, and I felt her reluctance to dissuade him from their lovemaking. "Everyone is here for your birthday. Even some of the fey."
"Lamia's doing," he muttered. "What blasted reason is there to celebrate growing a year older? Find a way to stop the years from extracting their toll, and then I'll have cause to celebrate. That those who do not age are here to celebrate is nothing more than mockery."
You should not be so bitter... The words rose in a.n.u.shka's mind, but she did not speak them. The loss of immortality was fresh in this troll's mind, and not something she dared disparage. The fey who still walked between worlds would say enough with their clever and cutting words.
"I can think of much I'd rather be doing, but I suppose it would not do to keep the ma.s.ses waiting." He kissed her again. "Besides, that which I want is currently denied to me."
a.n.u.shka's eyes flicked down, and I saw for the first time that she was pregnant and large enough that the child could not be far off. Dismay twisted in my gut, because in all that I had read, nothing had mentioned that a.n.u.shka had borne the King a child.
"What will we name him?" Her voice was dreamy as she twisted the all-too-familiar necklace dangling from her neck. And while she did not notice the discomforted way he looked away, I did. "You cannot know if it is a boy or girl, but either way, it will tell you what it wishes to be called in due time."
She did not miss the it. "Alexis." Her voice carried the weight of a hundred disagreements that had not gone in her favor.
"I must go." He rose to his feet, but got no further before a deafening crack shattered the air. Pain lanced through a.n.u.shka's skull, and she clapped her hands against her ears and screamed.
I screamed too, because never in my life had I heard something so loud, and I knew what it heralded. I knew what was coming.
The ground shuddered and her face jerked toward the ma.s.sive peak looming above. Half of it was sliding away from the rest, breaking and crumbling, falling faster and faster, and the roar was that of the world being sundered in two.
"a.n.u.shka!" Alexis caught her up against his chest and flung a hand up. The mountain slid across the sky like a wave of rock and death, and then there was no more sun. And for some, there never would be again.
Fifty-Seven.
Cecile
My heart fluttered in my chest like that of a wounded rabbit, and my hands pressed against my ears from the memory of the pain. a.n.u.shka had shown me the mountain, and I believed, as I always had, that its breaking was not her doing. I hated the feel of her mind, and wanted no more of this.
But she wasn't finished.
I fell back under, and this time when I opened my eyes, it was dark and a.n.u.shka's body was racked with exhaustion and pain. A candle burned in the lavishly appointed room, but she was alone. Alone and giving birth to a child. I ground my teeth against her pain, my gaze going to the ceiling with hers with every reverberating groan of shifting rocks. She pushed and screamed, and then a baby's voice cried out. A girl, covered with blood but perfect.
"He will keep you safe," a.n.u.shka whispered to the infant, clutching the girl against her chest. "He will change everything to keep you safe."
And the words that went unsaid, but which I heard in her mind: I promise to protect you.
a.n.u.shka plunged me directly into the next memory. She walked through the streets of Trollus, her newborn clutched tightly against her chest. The city was not destroyed, but it had suffered much. Ma.s.sive boulders rested on the crushed remains of homes, fountains and statues cracked and broken from fallen debris, and dust hanging thick in the air. Far above, the rocks shifted continually, the groaning and grinding incessant and sickening.
But worst of all were the bodies. They lay in the streets or protruded from the rubble, rot and decay caring no more if they were human or troll than the rocks had. The stench was incredible, and she knew nothing was being done to dispose of the bodies none could be spared. She could practically taste the pestilence in the air knew that it was claiming more victims with every pa.s.sing day but she'd brought the child with her anyway. She hadn't dared leave her alone when there were rumors of humans scouring the streets like dogs, searching for anything, anything, they could eat.
She found Alexis standing alone in front of the palace, wearing the same clothes he'd worn the day the mountain fell. His hair was lank and unwashed, face smeared with grime. Little tracks of sweat cut through the filth, and his entire body was tense with strain. "Alexis?"
Dull eyes shifted to her. "You shouldn't be in the streets. It isn't safe."
"I know." She whispered the words, although she didn't know entirely why. "But I wanted to tell you myself that you have a daughter." She held the child out to him, but he turned his head away. Hurt sliced through her, and she hugged the baby tight. "What do you want to name her?"
Alexis grimaced, the first reaction I'd noted from him. "She's half troll she'll name herself and tell you how she wishes to be called when she speaks. You know that."
a.n.u.shka had known that, but also that trolls gave their children baby-names until the child was old enough to communicate its wishes. "What do you think of Lily? Or Rose?"
His lids drifted shut. "I think you should not allow yourself to become attached."
a.n.u.shka flinched.
"Go back to your manor and lock yourself in. I've enough to worry about without you wandering the streets."
She went.
I wanted no more of this. I knew what she was doing, why she was showing me these memories. a.n.u.shka wanted me to see what the trolls had done so that I would hate them like she did. So that I'd understand why she'd cursed them and turn against Tristan. Not because she had any intention of sparing my life, but because her desire to inflict as much hurt as she had suffered was insatiable. I struggled, trying to extract my mind from her clutches, but she would not let me go.
"You will see, and you will know," she whispered, and threw me back under.
She was down to her last candle. Lily squalled in her arms, refusing to be soothed and unaware of the danger of attracting unwanted attention. I could feel a.n.u.shka's heart as though it were my own, leaping and skittering in her chest with every scream and crash from outside. Worse was the sound of skirmishes outside the windows. The crack of bones and the thud of impacts against flesh. The dull thump of bodies falling to the ground. The rustle of fabric against stone as the corpse was dragged away to be... My mind recoiled at the things she had seen through cracks in the curtain.
There was nothing left in the house to eat, and all that remained to drink was wine, mixed with the stagnant water she'd drained from the fountain in the courtyard. Yet she knew she was lucky, because for the humans and half-bloods outside, it was far worse. Thirty thousand soldiers had returned for Alexis' birthday, and once the task of holding up the rock had been organized into shifts, they'd eaten and drunk all there was to offer. The riverbed was bone dry; the few streams of water that made it through the rock were s.n.a.t.c.hed up by the trolls with the most power.
For that was the way of it. The most powerful took everything, raiding the city stores and taking all, killing anyone who dared try to stop them. A pure-blooded troll could go weeks without food or drink with little effect, but they did not want to go without. So they dined on fresh bread daily, while those who needed it suffered, starved, and died. And the fey did nothing to help, all of them fled back to Arcadia or to wherever their fickle hearts desired. What care had they for creatures destined to die anyway?
A fist hammered against the door.
"Shhh, shhh," a.n.u.shka whispered to the baby, trying to silence her. She knew a hundred spells to use against trolls, but all required planning, stealth, and one ingredient she did not have. If they came after her directly, there would be no stopping them.
The fist hammered again. "a.n.u.shka!"
"Alexis!" His name came out as a sigh of relief. Flying down the stairs, she jerked open the door and flung an arm around his neck. "You're here!"
"Wait outside," he ordered whoever had accompanied him; then he backed a.n.u.shka inside.
"Stones and sky, you stink." He pushed her gently away from him.
"Alexis, there is barely enough water to drink, much less to wash with." And yet he was the kind of clean that only comes with a bathtub full of water. I noticed it, and so did she.
"Never mind." He was studiously looking anywhere but her or the baby. "Pack what things you need I'm moving you to the palace."
a.n.u.shka's skin p.r.i.c.kled, a thought flickering across her mind that the palace was Lamia's territory, and that she had demanded Alexis never allow her inside. "Why?"
"It's safer."
a.n.u.shka shook her head slowly. "Tell me the real reason."
He grimaced and walked over to the banister and leaned his elbows on it. "The Princess's wet-nurse is dead. I need you to feed her, care for her."
"Is there no one else?"
"None who can be spared, and besides, there is no one I trust more than you."
"What about Lamia?" a.n.u.shka demanded without thinking. "Why can't she care for her own child?"
"Lamia is caring for all of Trollus!" In the blink of an eye, he had her by the shoulders, fingers digging painfully into her skin. "Ten thousand are dead and rotting in the street, but how many more would there be if not for her? She does not sleep spends day and night in the streets holding up rock heavier than anything you can imagine, and yet still you spit out your petty jealousies. What right have you to deny her this when all you do is hide in a house?"
Those were Lamia's words...
"Alexis, you mistake me." The desperation in her voice mirrored that twisting in her gut. "I've barely enough for Lily, much less two of them. They'll both go hungry." But Lily was half human, and would suffer more for it.
"Find a way to make it work."
"It's impossible."
Alexis let go of her shoulders. "Then you must prioritize. And if the Princess does not thrive, you will suffer the consequences."
"Lily's your daughter, too!" The words slipped out, and she desperately wished to take them back, because she knew how he would respond. And she didn't want to hear it. Didn't want the fragile hope that he would change the laws for her sake to fall into pieces.
"The life of a b.a.s.t.a.r.d half-blood destined for servitude means nothing compared to that of a princess of Trollus."
Her hope shattered, and she took a step back.
"a.n.u.shka, you know I love you." His lips brushed hers, and she cringed. "If you love me, you'll do this. Don't make me resort to threats."
As if she had any choice. Escape was impossible she was as trapped as they were. The only option was to do what he asked, and then when they dug their way out, she'd flee. Take Lily and as much gold as she could get her hands on, and run as far away from this cursed Isle as she could get. Back to the north, where folk knew ways to resist the fey.
I opened my eyes to find my mother staring back at me. "Has that changed?" she asked, face full of an old sorrow.
I wanted to say that it had, that Tristan was trying to rid Trollus of slavery and oppression, but then I thought of Lessa. "What happened to her?"
"I'll show you."
a.n.u.shka sat in the royal nursery, exhausted and afraid, but determination burned in her heart. The trolls were close to freedom Alexis had told her himself. It was only a matter of time.