The Lunatic at Large Part 28

"I'm not asked, I'm afraid."

"Ach, bot zat is nozzing. I shall tell him."

"As you please, Baron," replied Mr Bunker, with a half glance at Lady Alicia.

The infatuated Baron had already begun to dread the inevitable hour of separation, and this piece of good fortune put him into the highest spirits. He felt so amiable towards the whole world that when the four went out for a stroll in the afternoon he lingered for a minute by Lady Grillyer's side, and in that minute Mr Bunker and Lady Alicia were out of hail ahead. The Baron's face fell.

"Shall I come down to this place?" said Mr Bunker.

"Would you like to?"

"I should be sorry," he replied, "to part with-the Baron."

Lady Alicia had expected a slightly different ending to this sentence, and so, to tell the truth, Mr Bunker had intended.

"Oh, if you can't stay away from the Baron, you had better go."

"It is certainly very hard to tear myself away from so charming a person as the Baron; perhaps you can feel for me?"

"I think he is very-nice."

"He thinks you very nice."

"Does he?" said Lady Alicia, with great indifference, and a moment later changed the subject.

Meanwhile the Baron was growing very uneasy. Of course it was quite natural that Mr Bunker should find it pleasant to walk for a few minutes by the side of the fairest creature on earth, and very possibly he was artfully pleading his friend's cause. Yet the Baron felt uneasy. He remembered Mr Bunker's invariable success with the gentler s.e.x, his wit, his happy smile, and his good looks; and he began to wish most sincerely that these fascinations were being exercised on the now somewhat breathless Countess, for his efforts to overtake the pair in front had both annoyed and exhausted Lady Grillyer.

"Need we walk quite so fast, Baron?" she suggested; and Lady Grillyer's suggestions were of the kind that are evidently meant to be acted upon.

"Ach, I did forged," said the Baron, absently, and without further remark he slackened his pace for a few yards and then was off again.

"You were telling me," gasped the Countess, "of something you thought of-doing when-you went-home."

"Zo? Oh yes, it vas-Teufel! I do not remember."

"Really, Baron," said the Countess, decidedly, "I cannot go any farther at this rate. Let us turn. The others will be turning too, in a minute."

In fact the unlucky Baron had clean run Lady Grillyer's maternal instincts off their feet, and he suffered for it by seeing nothing of either his friend or his charmer for an hour and a half.

That night he accepted Sir Richard's invitation, but said nothing whatever about bringing a friend.

For the next week Rudolph was in as many states of mind as there were hours in each day. He walked and rode and drove with Lady Alicia through the most romantic spots he could find. He purchased a large a.s.sortment of golf-clubs, and under her tuition essayed to play that most dangerous of games for mixed couples. In turn he broke every club in his set; the cavities he hewed in the links are still pointed out to the curious; but the heart of the Lady Alicia alone he seemed unable to damage. There was always a moment at which his courage failed him, and in that fatal pause she invariably changed the subject with the most innocent air in the world.

Every now and then the greenest spasms of jealousy would seize him. Why did she elect to disappear with Mr Bunker on the very morning that he had resolved should settle his fate? It is true he had made the same resolution every morning, but on this particular one he had no doubt he would have put his fate to the touch. And why on a certain moonlight evening was he left to the unsentimental company of the Countess?

He made no further reference to the visit to Brierley Park; in fact he shunned discussion of any kind with his quondam bosom friend.

The time slipped past, till the visit to St Egbert's was almost at an end.

On the day after to-morrow all four were going to leave (where Mr Bunker was going, his friend never troubled to inquire).

They sat together latish in the evening in the Baron's room. That very afternoon Lady Alicia had spent more time in Mr Bunker's society than in his, and the Baron felt that the hour had come for an explanation.

"Bonker, I haf a suspection!" he exclaimed, suddenly. "It is not I, bot you, who are ze friend to ze beautiful Lady Alicia. You are not doing me fair!"

"My dear Baron!"

"It is so: you are not doing me fair," the Baron reiterated.

"My dear fellow," replied Mr Bunker, "it is you are so much in love that you have lost your wonted courage. You don't use your chances."

"I do not get zem."

"Nonsense, Baron! I haven't spent one hour in Lady Alicia's company to your twenty-four, and yet if I'd been matrimonially inclined I could have proposed twice over. You've had the chance of being accepted fifty times."

"I haf not been accepted vunce," said the Baron, moodily.

"Have you put the question?"

"I haf not dared."

"Well, my dear Baron, whose fault is that?"

The Baron was silent.

"Ask her to-morrow."

"No, Bonker," said the Baron, sadly; "she treats me not like a lover. She talks of friendship. I do not vish a frient!"

Mr Bunker looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "You don't think you have touched her heart?" he asked at length.

"I fear not."

"You must try an infallible recipe for winning a woman's heart. You must be in trouble."

"In trouble!"

"I have tried it once myself, with great success."

"Bot how?"

"You must fall ill."

"Bot I cannot; I am too healthful, alas!"

Mr Bunker smiled artfully. "They come to tea in our rooms to-morrow, you know. By then, Baron, you must be laid up, ill or not, just as you please.

A grain of Lady Alicia's sympathy is worth more than a ton of even your wit."

The standard chosen for the measurement of his wit escaped the Baron, the scheme delighted him.