The Lumley Autograph Part 2

I professed myself ready to do any thing in my power in so good a cause.

"Here is my list; I generally carry it about me. You will see those that are wanting, and very possibly may suggest others."

And as the lady spoke she drew from her pocket a roll of paper as long, and as well covered with names as any minority pet.i.tion to Congress.

However, I had lived too much among collectors of late to be easily dismayed. The list was headed by Black Hawk. I expressed my fears that the gallant warrior's ignorance of letters might prove an obstacle to obtaining any thing from his pen. I volunteered however to procure instead, something from a Cherokee friend of mine, the editor of a newspaper.

{Black Hawk = Black Hawk (1767-1838), an American Indian (Sac) chieftain, defeated by the U.S. Army in 1832, whose "Autobiography"

(1833) became an American cla.s.sic.}

"How charming!" exclaimed Miss Rowley, clasping her hands. "How very obliging of you, Mr. Howard. Are you fond of shooting? My brother's preserves are in fine order--or perhaps you are partial to yachting--"

Bowing my thanks for these amiable hints, I carelessly observed that the letter of the Cherokee editor was no sacrifice at all, for the chief and myself were regular correspondents; I had a dozen of his letters, and had just given one to Mr. T----. This intelligence evidently lessened Miss Rowley's excessive grat.i.tude. She continued her applications, however, casting an eye on her list.

"Perhaps you correspond also with some rowdies, Mr. Howard? Could you oblige me with a rowdy letter?"

{rowdies = in the mid-nineteenth century, an American slang term for backwoodsmen or other rough and disorderly types}

I drew up a little at this request; my correspondents, I a.s.sured the lady, were generally men of respectability, though one of them was of a savage race.

"No doubt; but in the way of autographs, you know, one would correspond with--"

The sentence remained unfinished, for the lady added,

"I wrote myself to Madame Laffarge, not long since. I am sorry to say Lady Holberton has two of hers; but although an excellent person in most respects, yet it cannot be denied that as regards autographs, Lady Holberton is very illiberal. I offered her Grizzel Baillie, two Cardinals, William Pitt, and Grace Darling, for one of her Laffarges; but she would not part with it. Yet the exchange was very fair, especially as Madame Laffarge is still living."

{Madame Laffarge = Marie Lafarge (1816-1853), French woman convicted in 1840 for poisoning her husband; later pardoned. Grizzel Baillie = Lady Grizel Baillie (1665-1746), Scottish poet. William Pitt = either William Pitt "the Elder" (1708-1778) or William Pitt "the Younger"

(1759-1806), both British Prime Ministers. Grace Darling = Grace Darling (1815-1842), English heroine and lighthouse keeper's daughter, famous for her rescue of castaways in 1838.}

I bowed an a.s.sent to the remark.

"And then she herself actually once made proposals for Schinderhannes, to a friend of mine, offering Howard, the philanthropist, Talma, William Penn, and Fenelon for him--all commonplace enough, you know--and Schinderhannes quite unique. My friend was indignant!"

{Schinderhannes = German bandit chief, executed in 1803. Howard = John Howard (1726-1790), English philanthropist and prison reformer. Talma = Francois Talma (1763-1826), popular French playwright. William Penn (1644-1718), Quaker founder of Pennsylvania. Fenelon = Francois Fenelon (1651-1715), French Archbishop and writer}

I ventured to excuse Lady Holberton by suggesting that probably at the time her stock of notabilities was low.

Miss Rowley shook her head, and curled her lip, as if she fancied the lady had only been seeking to drive a hard bargain.

"On one point, however, I have carried the day, Mr. Howard. Lady Holberton is not a little proud of her Vidocq; but I have obtained one far superior to hers, one addressed to myself so piquant and gallant too. I called on the dear old burglar on purpose to coax him into writing me a note."

{Vidocq = Francois Vidocq (1775-1857), French police detective who turned robber, and was exposed in 1832.}

I wondered, in petto, whether I should meet any ill.u.s.trious convicts at Miss Rowley's party the next evening; but remembering to have heard her called an exclusive, it did not seem very probable.

{in petto = silently, to oneself (Latin)}

After running her eye over the list again, Miss Rowley made another inquiry.

"Mr. Howard, could you get me something from an American Colonel?"

I a.s.sured the lady we had colonels of all sorts, and begged to know what particular variety she had placed on her catalogue--was it an officer of the regular service, or one of no service at all?

"Oh, the last, certainly--officers who have seen service are so commonplace!"

My own pen was immediately placed at Miss Rowley's disposal, as my sword would have been, had I owned one. As I had been called colonel a hundred times without having commanded a regiment once, my own name was as good as any other on the present occasion.

"You are very obliging. Since you are so good, may I also trouble you to procure me a line from a very remarkable personage of your country--a very distinguished man--he has been President, or Speaker of the Senate, or something of that sort."

To which of our head men did Miss Rowley allude?

"He is called Uncle Sam, I believe."

{Uncle Sam = "Uncle Sam" became a popular personification of the United States during the War of 1812, replacing Brother Jonathan, and was often used in contradistinction to the British "John Bull"}

This was not so easy a task, for though we have thousands of colonels, there is but one Uncle Sam in the world. On hearing that such was the case, Miss Rowley's anxiety on the subject increased immeasurably; but I a.s.sured her the old gentleman only put his name to treaties, and tariffs; and although his sons were wonderfully gallant, yet he himself had never condescended to notice any woman but a queen regnant: and I further endeavored to give some idea of his ident.i.ty. Miss Rowley stopped me short, however.

"Only procure me one line from him, Mr. Howard, and I shall be indebted to you for life. It will be time enough to find out all about him when I once have his name--that is the essential thing."

I shrunk from committing myself, however; declaring that I would as soon engage to procure a billet-doux from Prester John.

{Prester John = Mythical ruler believed in the Middle Ages to head a powerful Christian Kingdom somewhere in Asia; later identified with the Christian Kings of Ethiopia in Africa}

"Prester John! That would, indeed, be quite invaluable!"

This Asiatic diversion was a happy one, and came very apropos, for it carried Miss Rowley into China; she inquired if I had any Chinese connections.

"Though altogether, I am pretty well satisfied with my Chinese negotiations; as soon as the Celestial Empire was opened to the civilized world, I engaged an agent there to collect for me. But, could you put me on the track of a Confucius?"

{opened to the civilized world = following the so-called Opium War, Britain had in 1842 forced China to open trade with her}

I was obliged to admit my inability to do so; and at the same moment the collecting instincts of Lady Holberton and Mr. T----, drew their attention to the corner where Miss Rowley and myself were conversing; as they moved toward us, Miss Rowley pocketed her list, throwing herself upon my honor not to betray the deficiencies in her role d'equipage, or the collecting negociations just opened between us. Lady Holberton, as she advanced, invited Miss Rowley, with an ill-concealed air of triumph, to feast her eyes once more on the Lumley autograph, and not long after the party broke up.

{role d'equipage = muster roll (French); here, Miss Rowley's list of her autographs}

The next day, in pa.s.sing Holberton-House, I observed the chariot of a fashionable physician before the door; and at Miss Rowley's party in the evening learned from Mr. T---- that Lady Holberton was quite unwell. The following morning I called to inquire, and received for answer that "her ladyship was very much indisposed." It was not until a week later that I saw Lady Holberton herself, taking the air in Hyde Park. She looked wretchedly--thin and pale. I inquired from the English friend with whom I was riding, if there was any probability of a change of ministry? He looked surprised; and then catching the direction of my eye, he observed,

"You ask on Lady Holberton's account; but Sir A---- B---- tells me her illness was caused by the loss of the Lumley Autograph."

This unexpected intelligence proved only too true. On returning to my lodgings, I found a note from Lady Holberton, requesting to see me, and, of course, immediately obeyed the summons.

"Lost!--lost!--lost! Mr. Howard!" said the lady, endeavoring to conceal her emotion, as she gave me the details of her affliction.

"It must have been stolen--basely stolen--on the evening of my party.

Oh! why did I so foolishly exhibit it among so many people, and collectors among them, too! Never again will I admit more than one collector at a time into the room with my alb.u.m!" she exclaimed with energy.

I was shocked; surely Lady Holberton did not conceive it possible that any of her guests could be guilty of such base conduct?

"How little you know them! But it is that, Mr. Howard, which has interested me in your favor--you have so much naivete, and ignorance of the moral turpitude of the old world, that I feel convinced you never could be guilty of such an action yourself."