The Light Shines in Darkness Part 14

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH [at work again] I'm ashamed to lead an idle life.

CARPENTER. Yours is that kind of position. G.o.d has given you property.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. That's just where it is. I don't believe that G.o.d gave it, but that some of us have taken it, and taken it from our brother men.

CARPENTER [taken aback] That's so! But still you've no need to do this.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. I understand that it must seem strange to you that while living in this house where there is such superfluity, I should wish to earn something.

CARPENTER [laughs] No. Everybody knows that gentlefolk want to master everything. Well, now go over it again with the smoothing plane.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. You won't believe me and will laugh, but still I must tell you that formerly I was not ashamed to live in this way, but now that I believe in Christ's law, which tells us we are all brothers--I am ashamed to live so.

CARPENTER. If you are ashamed of it, give away your property.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. I wanted to, but failed, and gave it to my wife.

CARPENTER. But after all it would not be possible for you to do it--you are too used to comforts.

[Voice outside the door] Papa, may I come in?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. You may, you always may.

Enter Lyuba.

LYuBA. Good-day, Jacob!

CARPENTER. Good-day, Miss!

LYuBA. Boris has gone to his regiment. I am afraid of what he may do or say there. What do you think?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. What can I think? He will do what is natural to him.

LYuBA. It is awful. He has such a short time to serve[33] and may go and ruin his whole life.

[33] The period of compulsory service for a University graduate would be short in any case.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. He did well not to come to see me. He understands that I can't say anything to him but what he knows himself. He told me that he handed in his resignation because he sees that not only is there no more immoral, lawless, cruel and brutal occupation than this one, the object of which is to kill, but also that there is nothing more degrading and mean than to have to submit implicitly to any man of higher rank who happens to come along. He knows all that.

LYuBA. That's just why I am afraid. He knows that, and may want to take some action.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. His conscience--the G.o.d that dwells within him--will decide that. Had he come to me I should have given him only one piece of advice: not to do anything in which he is guided by his reason alone--nothing is worse than that--but only to act when his whole being demands it. Now I, for instance, wished to act according to Christ's injunction: to leave father, wife and children and to follow Him, and I left home, but how did it end? It ended by my coming back and living with you in luxury in town. Because I was trying to do more than I had strength for, I have landed myself in this degrading and senseless position: I wish to live simply and to work with my hands, but in these surroundings, with lackeys and porters, it seems a kind of affectation.

I see that, even now, Jacob Nikonorych is laughing at me.

CARPENTER. Why should I laugh? You pay me, and give me my tea. I am grateful to you.

LYuBA. I wonder if I had not better go to him.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. My dear, my darling, I know you find it hard and are frightened, though you should not be so. After all, I am a man who understands life. Nothing evil can happen. All that appears evil really makes one's heart more joyful; only understand that a man who has started on that path will have to choose, and it sometimes happens that G.o.d's side and the Devil's weigh so equally that the scales oscillate, and it is then that the great choice has to be made. At that point any interference from outside is terribly dangerous and tormenting. It is as though a man were making such terrible efforts to draw a weight over a ridge that the slightest touch would cause him to break his back.

LYuBA. Why should he suffer so?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. That is as though a mother were to ask why she should suffer. There can be no childbirth without suffering, and it is the same in spiritual life. One thing I can tell you. Boris is a true Christian, and consequently is free, and if you cannot as yet be like him, or believe in G.o.d as he does, then believe in G.o.d through him.

MARY IVaNOVNA [behind door] May I come in?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. You may always come in. What a reception I'm having here to-day.

MARY IVaNOVNA. Our priest, Vasily Nikonorovich, has come. He is going to the Bishop, and has resigned his living!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Impossible!

MARY IVaNOVNA. He is here! Lyuba, go and call him! He wants to see you.

[Exit Lyuba]. I had another reason for coming. I want to speak to you about Vanya. He behaves abominably, and does his lesson so badly that he can't possibly pa.s.s; and when I speak to him he is rude.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Mary, you know I am out of sympathy with the whole manner of life you are all leading, and with the education you are giving to the children. It is a terrible question for me, whether I have a right to see them perishing before my very eyes ...

MARY IVaNOVNA. Then you should suggest something else, something definite. But what do you offer?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. I cannot say what. But can only say that first we should get rid of all this depraving luxury.

MARY IVaNOVNA. So that they should become peasants! I cannot agree to that.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Then don't consult me. The things that grieve you are natural and inevitable.

Enter Priest and Lyuba. The Priest and Nicholas Ivanovich kiss[34]

one another.

[34] It is not unusual among Russians for men-friends to kiss one another; but it is quite unusual for a man of position to kiss a village priest who calls as a visitor--and it indicates great intimacy or great emotion.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Is it possible that you have thrown it all up?

PRIEST. I could stand it no longer.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. I did not expect it so soon.

PRIEST. But it was really impossible. In our calling we cannot be indifferent. We have to hear confessions, and to administer the Sacrament, and when once one has become convinced that it is all not true ...

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Well, and what now?

PRIEST. Now I am going to the Bishop to be questioned. I am afraid he will exile me to the Solovetsk Monastery. At one time I thought of asking you to help me to escape abroad, but then I considered that it would seem cowardly. Only, there is my wife!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Where is she?

PRIEST. She has gone to her father's. My mother-in-law came and took our boy away. That hurt me very much. I should much like ... [pauses, restraining his tears].

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Well, may G.o.d help you! Are you staying with us?

PRINCESS [running into the room] There now, it has happened. He has refused to serve, and has been put under arrest. I have just been there but was not admitted. Nicholas Ivanovich, you must go.