The Legend of Ulenspiegel Volume I Part 33

Ulenspiegel answered:

"When the rat is in the cheese, doth he ask to leave it?"

"Nay," said they.

"And when a man eats well and drinks well, does he seek out the dust of the roads and the water from springs full of leeches?"

"Nay, indeed," said they.

"Well, then," said Ulenspiegel, "let us stay here as long as my florins and daelders serve us as funnels to pour into our throats the drinks that bring us to laughter."

And he bade the host bring still more wine and more sausage.

While they drank and ate, Ulenspiegel said:

"'Tis I who pay, I am landgrave for the nonce. If my wallet were empty, what would you do, comrades? You might take my soft felt headgear and you might find it full of carolus, in the crown as well as round the brim."

"Let us feel," cried they all with one accord. And sighing they felt in it between their fingers large coins of the size and dimensions of gold carolus. But one among them handled it so lovingly that Ulenspiegel took it back, saying:

"Impetuous dairy man, you must learn to await the milking hour."

"Give me the half of your hat," said the Smaedelyke broeders.

"Nay," answered Ulenspiegel, "I don't want you to have a madman's brain, one half in the shade and the other in the sun."

Then giving his headgear over to the baes:

"You," said he, "do you keep it in any case, for it is hot. For my part, I am going out to ease me."

He went, and the host took charge of the hat.

Presently he left the inn, went to the peasant's cottage, got up upon his a.s.s, and went off full speed along the road that leads to Embden.

The Smaedelyke broeders, not seeing him come back, said one to another:

"Has he gone? Who will pay the charges?"

The baes, seized with fear, cut open Ulenspiegel's hat with a knife. But instead of the carolus, he found nothing in it between the felt and the lining but worthless copper counters.

Raging then against the Smaedelyke broeders he said to them:

"Brothers of roguery, ye shall not stir out of here save leaving behind all your clothes except only your shirts."

And they had every man to strip off his clothes to pay his shot.

In this fashion they went in their shirts over hill and dale, for they would by no means sell their horse nor their cart.

And all that beheld them in so pitiable a plight, gave them freely bread to eat, beer, and sometimes meat; for everywhere they told the tale how they had been despoiled by robbers.

And among the lot they had but one pair of breeches.

And thus they came back to Sluys in their shirts, dancing in their cart and playing the rommel-pot.

LX

Meanwhile Ulenspiegel bestrode the back of Jef through the lands and the marshes of the Duke of Lunebourg. The Flemings call this duke Water-Signorke because it is always damp in his country.

Jef obeyed Ulenspiegel like a dog, drank bruinbier, danced better than a Hungarian master of arts in posturing, pretended to be dead and lay down on his back at the least signal.

Ulenspiegel knew that the Duke of Lunebourg, annoyed and angry at Ulenspiegel's making a mock of him at Darmstadt before the landgrave of Hesse, had forbidden him to set foot on his territories on pain of the halter. Suddenly he saw His Ducal Highness in person, and as he knew it was a hasty and violent Highness, he was seized with fright. Speaking to his a.s.s:

"Jef," said he, "here is Monseigneur of Lunebourg coming. I feel a sore itch of rope on my neck; but may it not be the hangman that will scratch me for it. Jef, I would gladly be scratched, but not hanged. Think that we are brothers in distress and long ears; think, too, what a good friend you would lose if you lost me."

And Ulenspiegel wiped his eyes, and Jef began to bray.

Continuing his discourse:

"We live together in mirth," said Ulenspiegel to him, "or in moan, according to circ.u.mstances; do you remember, Jef?..." The a.s.s continued to bray, for he was hungry.

"And you will never be able to forget me," said his master, "for what friendship is strong but that which laughs with the same joy and weeps with the same distress! Jef, you must get down on your back."

The gentle a.s.s obeyed, and was seen by the duke with all four hoofs in the air. Ulenspiegel quickly took seat on his belly. The duke came to him.

"What dost thou here?" said he, "knowest thou not that in my last edict I forbade thee under pain of the rope to set thy dusty foot on my territory?"

Ulenspiegel replied:

"Gracious lord, have compa.s.sion upon me!"

Then showing his a.s.s:

"You know full well," said he, "that by law and by justice, he is always free that dwelleth between his own four posts."

The duke answered:

"Be off from out my territories, else thou shalt die."

"Monseigneur," replied Ulenspiegel, "I should be off from them so swiftly mounted on a florin or two!"

"Rogue," said the duke, "wilt thou, not satisfied with thy disobedience, ask money of me to boot?"

"Needs must indeed, Monseigneur, I cannot take it from you...."

The duke gave him a florin.