The Left Ear c7

ch 7 Cousin's Phone Call
It was a pretty serious sickness. I had a fever, I vomited, and my whole body felt like it had no strength. That meant that going to the hospital for my operation kept getting pushed back.

Not even two days pa.s.sed after Zhang Yang returned from Shanghai, and he had gong back to school for cla.s.s. The third year (senior/last year) studies meant he didn’t have free time to think about me. One day, I was sick and lying in bed, when a knock came at the door. The old lady wasn’t home. I thought it was someone here to collect the water or electric fee, so I didn’t bother with it and pretended I hadn’t heard.

About 15 minutes later, I got a call from my cousin asking, “Where are you?”

“I’m sick, hatching chicks at home,” I said.

“What kind of sickness? Love-sickness?”

“You’re right.”

“How about this, I’ll go visit you now.”

“Boss, no need to go so far.”

“That’s it. I’ll see you soon.”

He hung up. I thought he was just kidding around. He wasn’t a very serious person. I’d never taken anything he said to heart. But not too long later, someone really came knocking on the door. Through the door gap(?), I saw his dirty off-road car, so I opened the door.

When I opened the door, I was stunned.

My cousin was sitting in his car, he hadn’t gotten out. And then he drove away. Standing on front of the door was a beautiful woman holding a big bad. When she called out to me before, I almost didn’t recognize her. She hadn’t aged at all. In fact, she looked even younger and more elegant than I remembered her.

“I came over before and knocked. You didn’t open the door, so I thought you weren’t home.”

“I was sleeping,” I said.

“What? You’re not going to welcome (invite) me inside?”

“What do you mean?” I moved aside. “This is your house. There’s no such thing as welcoming or not welcoming.”

She smiled, carried in her luggage, and took a look around. “This place hasn’t changed at all. But you’ve gotten bigger and prettier.”

“You’re really too polite,” I said sarcastically.

“I’m here to pick you up. Your father and I have everything set. We’ve found your school as well. Oh right, how is your English?”

“I only know one sentence.” I dropped onto the sofa, and patted the armrest. With a sing-song voice, I said, “f.u.c.k you!”

I wasn’t sure if it was because my p.r.o.nunciation wasn’t right or if she had already prepared herself. But she wasn’t angry at all.

The door opened. The old lady, keys in her hand, scolded, “Why is the door unlocked? What if a thief came inside?”

When she looked up, she saw her.

For a brief moment, the old lady looked surprised. Then she took a broom from behind the door, pointed it at her, “Get out! Out! You said you weren’t coming back, so you should never appear in front of me!”

She said gently, “Don’t be angry. I’m just here to take Bala, and I’ll go.”

“I’m not going!” I jumped up from the sofa. I went to my room and slammed the door shut.

“Bala,” she came to my room and knocked on the door. “Open the door, I (Mom) want to talk to you!”

Then the old lady screamed, “Are you going or not?! If you’re not leaving, I’m going to call the police!”

I opened my door a crack, “That’s enough! Is that shameful or not, calling the police! If you’re able, call the Flying Tigers (?), just call the all the federal agents! Let them broadcast it on Phoenix TV!”

The old lady was so surprised by my words that she couldn’t say anything. My mom reached out and pulled me, “Let’s go. We’ll talk outside!”

“I’m not going!” I pushed her off. She stepped forward and pulled at my hands again. Then she felt my forehead, and said, surprised, “You have a fever?”

I turned away.

The old woman was standing at the side, saying, “Her nerves are just about burned up!”

“She’s really got a fever! Why aren’t you taking care of her when she’s got a fever?!” My mom dragged me over, shouting, “Let’s go! I’m taking you to the hospital!”

“Please, leave me alone!” I broke free from her hold and went to my bed. I think I must have gotten a fever again, and it was particularly bad. I didn’t want to go anywhere. When I got to my bed, I just wanted to sleep. The deeper the sleep, the better. I wasn’t even worried that I’d never wake up again.

When I woke up, I realized I was lying in a hospital bed. It was white all around me. White walls, white sheets, white clothes on the nurse giving me the IV drip.

She sat next to me, looking dignified.

I turned my head to the other side.

“Bala,” she reached her hand out to turn my face to her. Her eyes were big and bright. They didn’t look like they belonged to a middle-aged woman. I absentmindedly wondered if I’d be as beautiful when I reached her age. Then I sadly thought, of course I wouldn’t live as long as that.

Living is too tiring. I wouldn’t live too long.

She looked at me, tears rolling down from her eyes, wetting my sheets. I heard her say with a weak voice, “I know you’ve suffered a lot. I don’t blame you for doing wrong things. Get rid of the child, and I’ll take you away. We’ll never come back.”

Then she leaned over to hug me. I knew, she didn’t want anyone to see all her tears.

I used up all my energy to control the overwhelming emotions, keeping a blank face.

I stayed in the hospital for three days. They said that they’d do the abortion once I got better. The evening of the third day, when she went to the supermarket, I sneaked out of the hospital. The hospital food was hard to swallow, it always tasted like medicine. When I left the hospital, I headed straight to the noodle shop by Tian High. I pushed open the door. As if I’d been in prison for ten years without food, I said to the boss lady, “Two bowls of noodles!”

“Two bowls?” The man in the shop looked at me, unbelieving.

“Two bowls!” I said loudly, again.

I sat down in my usual spot. To my left, there were two noisy girls from Tian High. They were chatting, their voices high-pitched and sharp, even as they tried to sound mysterious. It made me uncomfortable. I was about to scold them to shut up, when I heard a very familiar name. I couldn’t help but listen in on their conversation. “I heard Xu Yi was beaten to a pulp again. He’s been really unlucky recently, always being beat up.”

“He’s floating in a sea of love, how can he not be hurt? Who told him to keep trying to steal someone else’s girlfriend!”

“But seriously, that girl looked so nice. I didn’t think she’d be like that.”

“You mean Li Er? We were junior high school cla.s.smates. I know her. She usually doesn’t speak out, you know. But it’s a shame this time. She was called to the dean’s office. How is she going to face people after that!”



“Yeah, yeah. The girl who doesn’t speak up is going to end up the worst. Hahaha…”

…

I pushed my bowl of noodles forward and stood up. I walked over to those girls’ table, and coldly asked, “Who were you talking about?”

The two girls looked up and saw me, seeming to recognize me, and got a scare.

I pointed at them, “I’m warning you. If anyone dares say a bad thing about Li Er, I’ll make it so you don’t dare go out at night anymore. Do you believe me?”

They looked at me, I looked at them. They were fl.u.s.tered, didn’t dare to exhale, didn’t dare to say a word. They grabbed their bags and ran out.

I didn’t feel like eating noodles anymore. I decided to go to Tian High to see Little Ear.

I ran over to Tian High and saw Little Ear coming outside. Seeing how she looked, I knew immediately that she’d been bullied. She was walking behind her parents, and I shouted out to her. The boy at her side gave me a fierce look, telling me to go away. I watched Little Ear. I just wanted to make sure she was okay, and then I’d leave right away.

I know, in a lot of people’s eyes, I’m not good enough to be her friend. And there are a lot of places that won’t welcome me. I didn’t want to bring any more trouble to Little Ear, but with G.o.d as my witness, for her, I want to be responsible for what I can be responsible for. I knew, and could confirm, that her problems were all my fault.

“Nothing will happen to her. Just stay away from her, and she won’t have any problems!” The boy ran at me, screaming.

Oh. From the bottom of my heart, I wasn’t angry at him.

At that time, I thought that it was really good that Little Ear had a boy to protect her. I didn’t expect Little Ear to get angry. Her face flushed, she screamed, “Youta, you can’t talk to Bala like that! Bala is my friend! She’s my good friend, and I won’t let you talk to her that way! Never!”

Time stopped in that moment.

In the past days, all the discomfort in my body disappeared. Against the evening sky, there were golden snowflakes floating down. In that moment, it felt like I was in an online game, like a villain who had a spell cast upon her, being reborn. In that moment, I felt elated and rejoiced. I saw Little Ear, her flushed, cute, little face. I saw Youta, with an outraged expression, and the parents standing behind them. I really couldn’t hold back, and a grin escaped on my lips.

Good friend.

I thought then, “In this whole world, there might not be any warmer, touching words.”

On my way back to the hospital, I was stopped by two ruffians. They said gruffly, “Bala jie, Hei ge is looking for you.” (t/n: Jie (literally “older sister”) and ge (literally “older brother”) are added to their names, kind of as a form of familiar address. Hei ge is Blackie, but the younger kids don’t call him that I guess.)

“Tell him to come himself,” I said. “I have to go back to the hospital to take care of my illness.”

“Hei ge said that there are some things he wants to talk to you about. You might be interested.”

I patted one of the boy’s heads, and said with a laugh, “I’m really sorry, Bala jie isn’t interested in anything right now.”

The two kids looked at each other, and one of them pulled out a photograph for me to see. It was a bit blurry, and you could tell the person in the photo didn’t know their picture was being taken. But it was very clear who the subject of the photo was.

“He ge said that he has a lot of photos likes this. If you’re willing to go, he’ll give them all to you.”

“Where is he?”

“At his uncle’s place.”

Oh, so that house still hadn’t been sold.

I turned around and strode forward. The two boys followed with some distance between us. I turned around to yell at them, “Go home and drink some milk! Your Bala jie still knows how to find her way!” The two boys didn’t leave, still following far behind. If they want to follow, so be it. If I weren’t important, why would they follow?

The door wasn’t locked, and the lights weren’t on either. I went inside, and Blackie sat in the dark. I couldn’t see his face clearly. The falling snow was getting heavier, and snowflakes flew in from the broken window. It was the same temperature inside and outside of the house. But Blackie was only wearing a thin sweater. It was a black turtleneck, and on the chest was the word “stuffy (as in when your heart feels stuffy).

I asked, “Where did you get this kind of actor-like clothing from?”

“Stole it,” he said. “From a university student.”

“He didn’t report you?”

“Report me for what? I took him for a drink.”

I took out the photograph, “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“I’m doing it for your sake.”

I picked up a small wooden stool in front of me and threw it toward him, “I’m warning you. He needs to take the college entrance exam. If you affect him at all, I’m not going to let you go!”

Blackie didn’t avoid, and the stool hit his forehead. It left a deep impression and blood flowed down.

He wiped the blood off with his sleeve, nonchalantly. With a sniff, he said, “f.u.c.k, doing all this for that b.a.s.t.a.r.d, is it worth it?”

“Go ahead and try cursing him again.”

Blackie stood up, “I’ll curse him if I want! b.a.s.t.a.r.d! b.a.s.t.a.r.d!” As he cursed, he reached to the old table behind him, and threw a pile of photos to the ground. Then he went to the wall to turn the light on. “Open your eyes wide and look at your honor student. Kao, you wanted to win him over. Win him… Look at this guy who won you over, see how sincere his feelings for you are!”



The snowfall was getting heavier, and the cold inside the house made me feel like I’d shrunk. The light irritated my eyes. I crouched down and picked up each of the photos to look at. They were all of Zhang Yang. Zhang Yang and a girl that I’d seen twice before. Together. They were eating together in a restaurant. Zhang Yang held her as they walked in the cold. In the schoolyard, he held her bag for her. Waiting at the cafeteria…

The pictures should be pretty recent.

Blackie said, “You might not know who this girl is. Her surname is Jiang. Her name is Jiang Jiao. Her father is Jiang Da’ning. Maybe you haven’t heard of him, but I’m sure you’ve heard of Jia’ning Group. This city’s most beautiful buildings, the most perfect districts, they’re all related to him.”

I didn’t make a sound.

Blackie continued, “Zhang Yang is a piece of garbage. He used you to get at his rival, Xu Yi. Jiang Jiao was Xu Yi’s girlfriend in junior high. He’s afraid of losing her. Zhang Yang’s family is very poor. They live in the city’s poorest area. If you don’t believe me, I can take you there to see. It’s only five minutes from here. Everything he has was given to him by this girl, including his new clothes and new phone. He can’t leave her. He needs to rely on her to pay for his university tuition. They already had a plan set up. They’d go to Shanghai to study together, and then leave the country…”

“Shut up!” I shouted. “I won’t believe in your s.h.i.t!”

“I love you, Bala. I’m the only who truly loves you,” Blackie said, moving forward to hug me. “As long as you’re willing to be with me, I promise that in this life, I will be utterly and completely devoted to only you!”

The blood on his forehead had dried. He faced me with his ugly wound. I pushed him away in disgust. I didn’t believe in him. I’ll always remember what Zhang Yang told me. He would take me to Beijing. He would hold hands with my and our son, and we’d walk down the street together. None of that could be fake. It couldn’t be!

“I knew you wouldn’t give up.” Blackie opened his phone, also a new model, a Samsung. He said, “The boys took his phone, and I put something even more interesting for you to see.”

When he finished speaking, he put the phone in front of my face.

First I saw Zhang Yang and me, kissing. It was on the road behind the noodle shop, the background a blur. I saw my reaching up to s.n.a.t.c.h the phone… That was the end.

And then, there was Zhang Yang walking on the street by himself. He turned around and suddenly there was the sound of a girl laughing.

Zhang Yang moved closer to her, and the two of them made faces at the camera. The girl laughed sweetly.

…

The last one. Zhang Yang leaned against a sofa, and lazily said, “Bala, you b.i.t.c.h.”

From the side, there was a burst of laughter. Zhang Yang also laughed, it was a small laugh. When he was done, he stood up, reached out his hand and blocked the camera.

…

He said with a smile, “Bala, you b.i.t.c.h.”

My dearest, he smiled and said to me, “You b.i.t.c.h.”

Blackie put away the phone, and held me. His lips came to my ear and he whispered, “Bala, I love you. You have to believe me, I’m the only one who truly loves you. With my whole heart and soul. Let’s be together forever, okay?”

I struggled to push him away, stumbled out the door, and fell into the snow.

I decided to leave.

Although I had nowhere to go.

I only wanted to confess to one person, but I didn’t have her phone number.

I packed a simple bag and walked to the front of Forget It Bar. I wanted to borrow some money from my cousin. He stood at the entrance to the bar, smoking a big cigar, as if he knew I’d be coming to find him.

I didn’t ask my favor yet. But he spoke. He said, “Bala, you came at just the right time. I’m taking you to the hospital. Your mom’s waiting for you to have the operation.”

I turned around and ran.

Several people were chasing me. They easily caught me and restrained me. Ignoring my screams, they pushed me into the backseat of the car. One person sat on either side of me. My cousin got in the car and personally drove. As he drove, he spoke to me earnestly, “Why suffer so much when you could just have a nice life? Follow your mom. Change the environment, and start again. Love? It’s all dog s.h.i.t. You’ll forget about it in the blink of an eye.”

“I want to get off, stop the car,” I said.

“I’ll let you off when we get to the hospital,” he said.

“I’m saying it once more. I want to get off, stop the car!”

He said slowly,” I’ll say it once more. I’ll let you off when we get to the hospital!”

The snow was getting heavier. The road in front wasn’t visible at all. It was as if we were driving on an adventure through the jungle. I took a look at my surroundings. Then I said to the boy on my left, “Come here, I want to tell you something.” He listened and moved in. I opened my mouth and bit down on his ear. He covered his ear, shouting. That’s when I crossed over his body, pushed the car door open, and jumped out.

To be accurate, I rolled down from the car. I fell into the snow, and the flying snowflakes made it hard to see. I wanted to stand up, but I wasn’t fast enough. Behind me, there was a three-wheeled truck used in farming. The driver didn’t see me, and pressed onto my body with ease. Everything turned black. Strangely, I didn’t feel any other pain.

My cousin’s car was stopped in front of me. I saw them rush over together. On the snow, there were red blossoms appearing. They were very pretty, so I tried to smile. Just like Zhang Yang smiled as he cursed me. But I couldn’t. Because I’d already lost consciousness.

I seem to have seen my soul soar above my body. She flew over the narrow roads and square fields. With a strong desire and great purpose, she went straight to Tian High, going through cla.s.sroom after cla.s.sroom, searching for someone. She wasn’t looking for Zhang Yang. Not Xu Yi, not Jiang Jiao. She was looking for the girl with little ears. From the moment she was born, Bala wanted to be a good girl like her. In front of a crowd of witnesses, she loudly called me her good friend. Bala owes her a thank you. She must say this thank you.

She must say it.

She must.

My dearest Little Ear, can you hear me?