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His eyes narrowed. aSpeak. Or are you mute? Or too simpleminded to understand?a Despite her fear, Lexa felt her lips tighten. She straightened, lifting her chin at him and narrowing her eyes. aI came to trade for food and water,a she said coldly, lifting the bag with her broken trade goods to show him she wasnat lying.
Surprise flickered in his cold blue, nearly white eyes. Those eyes sent shivers through her and made her regret her moment of rebellion, made her regret the fact that shead been too shocked to even attempt to hide the fury his snide comment had provoked.
She didnat doubt that was why he was surprised.
His gaze flickered over her and then returned to her face. He met her gaze for several long moments. Lexa cringed inwardly, but she was still too angry to allow good sense to reign. She met his cold gaze with a steady, angry one of her own.
aGo inside and wait for me.a Lexa hesitated but the appearance of compliance was all that had kept her alive these many years. It went against the grain. It irked her to have to pretend shead been cowed by him. She wouldave preferred to tell him to kiss her a.s.s and go to h.e.l.l. She wouldave far rather knocked his teeth down his throat for the insult and the orders, but she didnat have the muscle to back up her rathers. Stiffly, she nodded, although she had absolutely no intention of hanging around longer than it took to get the water and food she so desperately needed.
Fortunately, as he had before, he dismissed her and turned away as soon as head ordered her inside, giving rise to the hope that he hadnat actually noticed her rebellious att.i.tude. She wouldave bitten her tongue and resisted the urge to argue with him anyway, but, happily, it transpired that the order fit nicely with what she wanted to do. Now she had his permission to finish her business and be on her way. In any case, she discovered the moment he turned away and her gaze followed the movement that far more trouble was heading their way.
At least a dozen gang members were moving purposefully toward them along the street and it was clear that the one in the lead was the local king.
As stunned as everyone else had been by the very brief battle between the angel and the gang member they noticed trouble marching their way about the same time that Lexa dida"clearly some moments after the angel noticed. Gasping with fright, everyone began to scatter. Lexa was suddenly anxious to comply with his orders as quickly as possible and hurried past the angel.
He caught her arm before she could dash past him and met her gaze with a hard look when she glanced at him fearfully. aDonat make me hunt you down. You wouldnat like it.a So much for thinking he hadnat noticed her rebellious att.i.tude! Lexa gaped at him, wondering if the angels were mind-readers as shead heard. Shead dismissed it. There were so many tales about thema"each one more fantastic than the lasta"that shead stopped believing most of the stories she heard.
He didnat wait for a responsea"fortunately. She mightave responded with something utterly stupid!a"He released her the moment head issued his warning and moved toward the center of the street to meet the gang heading toward him.
aI am the Lawgiver, Gah-re-al, of the udai. The penalty for your crimes against the primitives known as humans is death.a A shockwave traveled through Lexa. She wasnat certain if it arose from the sheer audacity of the angel in issuing a challenge when he was up against so superior a force and completely exposed or if it was that he seemed to know everything theyad done. She felt a shiver skate down her spine, though.
Despite her anxiety to reach a safe distance before the violence she expected erupted, she paused in the doorway of the mercantile and turned to survey the scene playing out in the dusty street. Gabriel, as he called himself, shrugged the long, black coat off and dropped it in the dust at his feet, revealing his wings. He lifted and spread them, as if flexing the kinks out, like someone loosening up for a fight.
It sent another shiver skating down her back. At the same time a sense, almost of awe, swept over her. As many tales as shead heard about them, shead never actually seen onea"not that she knew of, in any case.
The black wings had almost the same iridescent sheen of a crowas wings. The udai was dark skinneda"as dark as roamers, humans, that spent most of their days exposed to the hot sun but without the blistering red one usually saw and she wondered if all of the udai were as dark. His long hair hung nearly to his waista"nothing particularly unusual about that except that he didnat have a beard nearly as long as his hair, in fact at all, and most male humans dida"and the hair was the same iridescent blue-black as his wings.
The nearly white irises flickered in her direction again and Lexa recoiled reflexively, nearly stumbling in her rush to get inside.
The tableau shead seen flickered through her mind as she rushed toward the counter.
Clearly the gang had lost some of their confidence when they saw they were rushing upon a dark angel, or demon, instead of a man. Theyad halted in the middle of the street when the udai, Gabriel, removed his coat.
Or maybe it was the confidence in his voice when head told them the penalty was death?
Lexa shook her thoughts as she heard the bellows of the gang members, sporadic gunfire, and the strange, high pitched whine of that weapon the angel wore on his wrist.
Angel of death, she thought as she reached the counter and looked around for the proprietor. She discovered he was crouched behind the counter. aI need to trade for food and water,a she said in a rush.
aI ainat comina out till itas over,a the proprietor snapped at her.
aWell I canat wait!a Lexa growled angrily, slapping her bag down on the counter and then jerking it up again to empty the contents on the counter. aMost of itas broke now. I used it to beat that b.a.s.t.a.r.d off of me, but this thing was workina before. Makes numbers on this little window here. Uses sunlight.a Interest sparkled in the proprietoras eyes despite his fear. aA cac-lator?a He lifted up enough to spot it and s.n.a.t.c.hed it off the counter.
aYeah. How much?a The proprietor was frowning as he played with the b.u.t.tons.
The sounds in the street were escalating and Lexa very much feared the angel was going to make good on his word.
Well, she didnat want to hang around to see if he lost either. It wouldnat be a good thing for her either way.
aTwo bottles of water. A can of meat.a Lexa was tempted to just take what was offered without haggling, but two bottles probably wouldnat get her to the next watering hole or the next town and the canned meat was rarely edible anymore. aFour bottles, directions to the next watering hole, two cans of meat and a can of fruit.a aAinat got no fruit.a Disappointment filled her but she didnat have time to look around to see if the man was lying. aOk. Four bottles of water, directions, and two cans of meat.a aDone!a Annoyance flickered through Lexa. She could probably have done a lot better, d.a.m.n it! There wasnat time to weep over it, though. She watched anxiously as the proprietor crawled along behind the counter and collected her trade goods, pitching them toward her instead of putting them on the counter. She missed most of the stuff he threw at her and had to scramble around the floor for the bottles and cans. aYou broke one of the bottles, you stupid motherf.u.c.ker! Give me another one.a aNo guarantees!a the b.a.s.t.a.r.d threw back at her. aYou shoulda caught them.a Lexa ground her teeth, struggling with the desire to beat the b.a.s.t.a.r.das head ina"which she knew she probably couldnat manage anyway. aDirections?a aHead due west. The first one is poison. Thereas a little spring in the side of the hill a bit further, though, and that wateras good.a aThanks! Back way out?a The proprietor gestured. Lexa hesitated, but she didnat want the udai on her heels. She needed to see what was happening to judge the lead time she had. Rushing to the front, she peered outside to see how the battle was going.
Four more of the gang members were lying in the street, two of them missing about half of their heads. Lexaas stomach lurched, but she focused on spotting the udai.
It wasnat hard to spot him. He was walking right down the middle of the street as bold as bra.s.s, no doubt searching for the other gang membersa"whoad vanished and either fled or simply ducked for cover.
By her calculations he was half done. That should give her a good start.
Abandoning the door, Lexa ran through the mercantile to the rear. There wasnat a door in the back, but there was a window. It was a struggle to open the board shutter covering the opening, but she managed after a few moments and tumbled out of it into the alley. Getting to her feet, she checked her water bottles. Fortunately, they were made of the stuff called plasty and hadnat broken as the first had. If she was careful, it should be enough to get her to the next watering hole and the plasty was almost as valuable as the water it held. Shead have something to carry more water with her.
It took her a few moments to get her bearings since shead gone out the back and dusk was falling fast. There was no longer a sun to use to get her direction. Mentally, she traced her path into the mercantile and mapped a return, though.
Shead planned to use the nearest escape route out of town even if she didnat have to run, but she needed to return to her point of entry to figure out due west since the sun was gone. She was breathless and tired by the time she reached that point. She wanted to rest. A mixture of fear and resentment filled her when she thought about what the udai had said, however.
She had no idea why head fixated on her or what he had in mind for her, but she wasnat about to hang around and find out!
She hadnat done anything!
And now she didnat dare return to the spot where shead hidden her other supplies, but the little shead left wasnat worth the risk of running into the udai. With any luck, she could collect it when it was safer.
Shaking the thoughts off, she opened one of her bottles and took a few sips and then carefully put the lid on again and pushed the bottle back into her bag. The proprietor of the mercantile had said the closest waterhole was due west and something about a hill.
It was a shame the spring wasnat in the only hill around! The town was surrounded on three sides by hills, though.
Well, she told herself as she started out, if there was water theread be plants growing around it and if there were plants there was food. She could hang on to the canned food until she really, really needed it. And if the waterhole was far enough for her to feel safe from the udai, she might just camp there a spell so that she didnat have to worry about water for a while.
For the first time in a very long time, she thought about what it would be like to stay in one place and get comfortablea"at least as comfortable as she could manage.
She discovered she couldnat actually picture it in her mind. It almost seemed like shead spent her entire life running, but that was far from the actuality. Shead grown up on a farm, or what pa.s.sed for farms since the day. Her mother hadnat remembered anything about abeforea or at least hadnat talked about it that Lexa could recall if she dida"not really surprising when she could barely remember her mother at all. But Sir, the man whoad taken her and her mother in and had fathered her younger siblings, had been an older. Head talked about it all the timea"before whatever had happened. Head said atheya must have dropped bombs because it had almost seemed as if the whole world was on fire. He didnat know who atheya were or even, for certain, if they had dropped bombs, but his parents had seemed to think that was what had happened and he was convinced theyad known.
Head grown up on a farm his parents had owned, but he couldnat grow things like his parents had and he was certain it was because of the bomb or bombs. Nothing grew like it had before although it was better than the aafteraa"the time directly aftera"far better. The sky had been so filled with clouds then that it had almost seemed like perpetual night. So little light shone through that even the weeds, which never needed much encouragement to grow, had begun to whither by the time the clouds had begun to clear enough for sunlight to hit the ground, but even then everything was stunted.
There was food in cans and bags and plasty containers, though, a lot of it, and not a lot of people to fight for it because so many had been caught in the open athe daya. So theyad hunted food buried in the rubble of what were called houses and stores and warehouses, and sometimes just buried in the ground when they couldnat find other food to eata"when even such things as rats and edible gra.s.ses had become scarce.
After his parents had died, when head stumbled upon a cache of seed, head decided to find a place and start a farm like the one he remembered from his childhood. It wasnat much of a farm, but it fed him and when head caught her mother, it fed her and the brats, too.
She hadnat actually known what he meant about catching her mother until the day the raiders had come.
One day had seemed much like the next until that day, each day filled with the toils of trying to grow enough, or find enough, to feed themselvesa"and tending the little ones, which had become her job when her mother died birthing the little sister that they ended up burying with her.
Then the raiders had descended upon them, screaming like demons, so terrifying her that shead been frozen with it, unable to think. Finally, the frightened cries of the little ones had penetrated her stupor enough to trigger the thought of running and hiding but by then it was too late.
It had probably been too late from the moment the raiders had burst upon them, but shead spent many sleepless nights replaying it in her mind and trying to think if there was something she couldave done to save herself and the little ones. Shead tortured herself with what ifs until she was half crazy before shead finally, resolutely, pushed all of it from her mind the best she could. What she might have done didnat matter. Shead been too scared to try until it was too late.
She resolved never to let her fear prevent her from trying again. In trying, she might still have failed, but not to try was certain failure. Shead been a coward and, because of that, her life became a living nightmare. Because of her failure to act, the lives of the little ones had become a nightmarea"if they lived at alla"and she didnat know if theyad even survived the raid. She knew Sir hadnat. Shead seen the raider king cut him down.
Shead cried most of that first day because she was afraid for herself and she was afraid for the little ones. Shead had only a dim idea of what the raiders wanted her for but that was enough to terrify her. She just hadnat known what it was that Sir and her mother had done that made babiesa"exactly.
Once she discovered that she wondered why it was that her mother didnat scream when her father did that to hera"because she had, and shead fought him, and it hadnat made any difference at all. Except that head slapped her hard enough to make her ears ring and told her to shut up before he knocked her teeth down her throat.
After a while, it didnat hurt, but she still hated it and lived in dread of the next time. He stank and his breath stank worse and she felt nasty when he finished and rolled off of her. All she could think was how badly she wanted to wash his smell and that slimy, disgusting stuff off, but there was no water for that. There was barely enough for drinking.
Eventually, theyad arrived at the village the raider king called his own. Eventually, shead grown accustomeda"as used to it as she coulda"and ceased to be afraid all of the time. She hadnat seen any of the little ones, but then King Ralph kept her locked in one little room for a very long time and even after head decided she was too afraid to run away, he never let her go far. So she comforted herself with the thought that the little ones were there, too, somewhere. Their lives might be as h.e.l.lish as hers was, but at least they werenat dead, and they hadnat been abandoned to starve.
Shead lived in that village as the kingas woman for several years. In that time, shead had three miscarriages but no living babies. Shead always believed it was because Ralph had the habit of knocking her around any time he was in a foul mooda"which he was fairly oftena"but he didnat seem to think so. He said there was something wrong with her female parts and she wasnat a fit breeder and he was going to trade her off as soon as he found a replacement that appealed to him.
Or maybe just pa.s.s her to his first officer.
Who was worse than Ralph.
One day, when he was feeling particularly nasty, head told her he was sorry he hadnat kept her little sister instead of trading her off. Shead been too young to breed, though, and of course the boys were useless. She supposed he thought that would worry her more, the fact that head begun to think of her as useless, but it had freed her. Right up until then, she hadnat considered escaping him because shead convinced herself that the little ones were in the village, as well, and she couldnat consider leaving them. She knew what he meant by useless, though. Useless was dead. The little brothers were dead and the little sister was gone, traded off so long ago that she had no hope of finding her again. So shead waited until the opportunity arose, when Ralph took his men off on a raid on another village, and shead sneaked off and shead been running ever since.
Her first impulse had been to head for home. Shead been in sight of the farm shead grown up on when it dawned on her that there was nothing there for her anymore. Sir was gone and everyone in the world that mattered to hera"the little onesa"were gone, too. Worse, her memories of them werenat. They were tied to the farm. She realized then that she couldnat bear to stay there even a moment.
That had been a years ago. She knew a number of years had pa.s.sed since that time because every season had its own brand of misery and many, many seasons had pa.s.sed. She just wasnat sure how manya"enough to soothe the pain to a dull ache and no more.
She thought that it had taken her nearly a year to get to the point where she was managing to take care of herself fairly well. Shead thought, at first, that she was going to die. For a while, she almost hoped for it because she was so tired of being hungry and thirsty all the time, so tired of just being exhausted, and dirty, and cold or so hot she felt like she would pa.s.s out.
She was so tired of torturing herself with the memories of her failure to protect the little ones when that was her job a.
There were a few times when shead considered just sitting down and waiting to die.
Theread even been times when shead considered going back. As h.e.l.lish as life had been with Ralph at least she hadnat been hungry a much, or thirsty. Shead had fire and covers to help keep her warm when it was cold. She hadnat had to trudge through snow or walk through a burning desert wasteland in the heat.
But then she remembered what it had been like sharing a bed with Ralph and she thought she could endure just about anything but that.
Death would be preferable to living with a man like him.
Struggling to throw off the painful memories, Lexa stopped, trying to get her bearings. It took an effort to shake the ghosts from her mind enough to focus on her present circ.u.mstances. It wasnat often, anymore, that she allowed the past to get a grip on her, but being tired always made her more vulnerable to the memories and she was so tired she was staggering. Huffing for breath, she took out a bottle, got another drink of water, and stood staring at the night sky trying to decide whether she was still heading the right way or not and if shead put enough distance between herself and that demon from h.e.l.l.
She couldnat decide whether she had or not, but she finally decided that she was too tired to care at the moment. She would just rest for a little bit and then shead get up and keep moving until shead put that threat behind her as shead put Ralph behind her.
She was tempted to simply drop where she stood, but she needed shelter of some kind. After surveying her surroundings she finally spied a shadowy lump she thought was a scraggly bush of some kind and trudged toward it. When she neared it, she squinted her eyes and stared at it hard, trying to decide if anything else had decided to take shelter beneath it and finally looked around for a few rocksa"just in case.
Nothing fled when she threw the rocks so she dropped to her knees and crawled under it. There was a light dusting of decaying leaves beneath it from seasons past, so she scooped them up into a tight pile, to help insulate her from the cold ground, took the ragged blanket she carried in her pack out and covered herself the best she could. It was thin and far too short, but when shead curled into a tight ball, it mostly covered her from her shoulders to her feet and she began to feel a little warmer as she dropped to sleep like a rock.
Troublesome images flickered through her mind, fragments of nightmarish dreams and memories. Her mind kept switching back and forth from the raid of her childhood to the battle in the streets of the village until the two became hopelessly entangled and it was the dark angel who called himself Gabriel who fought the raiders instead of Sira"Gabriel who carried her away and Ralph who died because half of his head had been blasted away.
Something nudged her, bringing her so rapidly from a deep sleep that her eyeb.a.l.l.s burned when her eyelids flew open. Her eyes filled with tears, making it even harder to bring whatever it was into focus.
aGet up.a Lexa sat up with a jolt, realizing abruptly that it was the udai. He was standing over her, blocking the weak light from the rising moon.
Slamming her fist down on the toe of the boot head nudged her with hard enough to make her hand go numb, she scrambled away from him and got to her feet. Any hope that shead incapacitated him, at all, was almost immediately dashed. An arm came around her waist that felt like an iron band and knocked the wind from her.
Struggling to catch her breath, unable to choose a target, she began flailing her arms in every direction and, when he jerked her off her feet, her legs. She managed to connect with his body several times. She knew it by the pain that shot through her hands and shins and feet.
And then he simply dropped her.
She landed on her a.s.s hard enough it felt like shead driven her tailbone through her skull.
aThe penalty for running from a lawgiver a.a Lexa grabbed a handful of dirt and rocks and flung in the direction of the voice then lurched to her feet and tried to run again.
aThe penalty for a.s.saulting a lawgiver a,a he said through gritted teeth.
aI didnat do nothina!a Lexa growled at him as he grabbed her again.
aWhy did you run?a Lexa gasped in outrage. aI left!a she growled. aI had every right to leave! I didnat do nothina wrong!a aThen you have nothing to be concerned about,a he said evenly.
aExcept rape by some a freak with wings!a Lexa snarled.
He dropped her on her a.s.s again.
Chapter Four.
Surprise, revulsion, a wholly unexpected and unwarranted twinge of guilt, and anger hit Gah-re-al in quick succession. He released the female as abruptly as if head grabbed a molten piece of metal. aI am the Lawgiver, Gah-re-al a,a he began stiffly, so outraged by the suggestion that he would consider f.u.c.king a human at all, let alone a scrawny, filthy savage like the one at his feet, that he responded to the accusation before it occurred to him that the suggestion was so beneath contempt it didnat deserve a response at all.
aJeee-zus Christ!a Lexa snapped, too drunk with fatigue and unnerved to consider the wisdom of a verbal attacka"or lack of wisdom. aI got the name already, Gabriel!a aMy name is Gah-re-al,a he said through gritted teeth. aI am required to identify myselfa"by namea"and state my rank and purpose. And I am a Lawgiver. I only f.u.c.k women who want me to f.u.c.k them. It is against my codea"both personal and professionala"to rapea"women. And I wouldnat f.u.c.k a primi a human female if I wanted s.e.x.a Lexa stared at him, struggling to decipher the accent and then comprehend what he meant even when shead figured out what head said. aSooo a females are off limits? But not males?a she asked more carefully for clarification.
Even in the darkness she could see his face change colors. aRape is off limits. There are always plenty of willing partners and that isnat against the law. I donat break the laws. I enforce them.a aBut you said a.a aGet up!a he growled.
aIad already be up if you didnat keep dumping me on my a.s.s,a Lexa muttered, getting to her feet with an effort and rubbing her abused posterior.
He stared at her coldly for several moments.
aWhat?a she demanded irritably, as unnerved by the look as she was resentful of it.
His lips tightened. aThe village is that way.a Lexa stared into the darkness glumly. She was still tired. She didnat think she could possibly have slept long before head woken her. aHow far?a aDoes it matter?a aMaybe not to you,a she muttered resentfully. Sighing loudly, she gathered her belongings and headed in the direction head indicated since she was pretty sure she couldnat gather enough strength to make a break for it even if the opportunity presented itself. She could see the dark outline of what she a.s.sumed was the outermost buildings of the village and it looked like a very long walk to her.
aIs there some particular reason youare walking that way?a Instantly insulted all over again by the tone of his voice, Lexa sent him a resentful glance. She hurt all over. No surprise when shead been in three different scuffles in a matter of hours and had had just enough time to begin to feel the muscle strain and bruises. She was tired, both physically and emotionally from her recent visit to the village they were approaching and it was the last place she wanted to go so she was in no great hurry. aLike what?a aThe shuffling.a aMy boots donat fit all that good.a aWhy?a aBecause they arenat mine,a she retorted irritably.
aStolen?a Lexa felt her heart skip a beat at the tone. Reminded abruptly that he was some self-appointed judge-jury-and-executioner, she regretted her bluntness. aHe wasnat using them no more.a aYou traded for them.a aI asked him nicely,a she said sarcastically since he hadnat seemed to notice, or at least hadnat taken violent exception, to her lack of respect.
aAnd he was alright with you taking his boots?a Gah-re-al asked sardonically.
aIt seemed that way to me. He didnat complain when I took them.a aBecause he was asleep? Or unconscious?a aBecause he was dead. Looked like head been that way for a while, too. He was all rotted and s.h.i.t,a Lexa retorted bluntly.
He made a sound that drew her attention, but it was too dark to tell what emotion had prompted it. aYou removed the boots youare wearing from a rotting corpse?a he said in a strange voice.
aDonat tell me thereas a law against that, too? Because if there is, I didnat know, so you canat say I did nothina wrong.a aIgnorance of the law is no excuse,a Gah-re-al retorted coldly, although why he was so repulsed by her robbing the dead when, in the scheme of things, that wasnat as bad as murdering to rob, he didnat know.
Lexa stopped abruptly and gaped at him. aYou are s.h.i.tting me, man! Youare saying I could be penaltied for breaking a law I didnat even know about? Well thatas just a. Thatas just completely stupid!a aMove! The word is penalized. Primitives donat even know their own language anymore,a he muttered under his breath. aYou know right from wrong?a Lexa glared at her toes. It wasnat hard to figure out that he meant her when he said primitives. Arrogant b.a.s.t.a.r.d! aYouare saying itas wrong to take things from dead people that donat need them no more? And I should be penalized because I shoulda known that it was wrong and done without shoes so these could rot with him?a It flickered through Gah-re-alas mind that the khabler robbed the dead. They didnat see it that way, naturally enough, because the agravesa they robbed where generally those of ancient civilizations and they were in pursuit of knowledge that could only be obtained that way. It was quibbling, though, to argue that that was right because it was the pursuit of knowledge and what the primitive had done was wrong when it pertained to her survival.