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I shook my head. "Won't do any good. It'll be all right. You'll see."
The monster lie of the year. Hadn't I promised myself I wasn't going to lie anymore? I guessed extenuating circ.u.mstances didn't count. Sarah oozed sadness. My desperation didn't seem as raw as hers - maybe it was because I'd talked with Marc.
Sarah wiped her nose and left.
My phone rang. I looked at the screen. Farah.
"What's the emergency?" she asked. Her voice sounded funny, but right then I was too into my own problems to care.
"My dad lost one of his jobs."
"So?"
"So, I'll be changing schools."
There was a lengthy silence. Finally, she said, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Dad told me." I heard a m.u.f.fled sob. "Farah, are you there? Is everything all right?"
Another pause. Then came her regular gush. "Of course! Why wouldn't it be? But Emili, I need you here."
This was new. Farah needing me? It felt kind of good.
"Sorry. I don't want to leave and maybe I won't have to. It's not one hundred percent certain."
"No, no. You'll have to. It's my luck lately."
My phone beeped. It was Lance. "Lance is calling."
"You better take it. We can talk later."
I punched my screen. "Lance?"
"Got your message. What gives?"
"I have to change schools."
"What? Why?"
"Dad lost one of his jobs. There won't be money."
"Whoa, tough break."
Tough break? That was his reaction?
"Yeah." My voice was stiff, a bit too polite. Was I mad at him? Why was my voice so tight?
"It'll change things," he continued.
"I know. I won't be at Bates every day. We could still see each other though, right?"
"Uh... yeah... sure. I guess."
"You guess?" I tensed. Was he breaking up with me? "Well, we don't have to keep seeing each other. I mean, if it's too much of a bother."
The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them.
"Hang on, Cis. Give me a minute to process."
"Fine, take your minute. We can talk later." I closed my phone. I had stupidly hoped for a different reaction. I wanted him to say, Oh, Cecily, I'll miss you so much. Or Cecily, we can surmount any obstacles to remain together. Our love will conquer all.
Fat dream. I flopped on my bed. I didn't recognize myself anymore. My reactions to everything were a big tangle of confusion. At this rate, I wouldn't have a boyfriend or any friends at all to miss me when I left.
Mom came home later and I heard my parents head off to their bedroom, like they always did to have discussions. Sarah and I learned a long time ago if we sat in the hallway and were super quiet, we could hear most of what they said. As soon as their door closed, Sarah crept out of her room and I out of mine. We smiled ruefully at each other and sank to the floor outside their room.
"Have you known this was coming?" Mom asked.
"I don't think so. There may have been signs, I don't know. Guess I didn't want to see them."
I heard what sounded like shoes clunk to the floor. "Would've been nice to have some warning."
"A lot of things would've been nice." Dad's tone hardened into sarcasm. Whoa.
"Don't get snippy with me, David Evan Jones, it's not my fault you're fired."
"I'm not fired. I'm laid off."
"Same result."
Silence. Then Dad said, "Be nice to have some support here."
"You're right. I'm sorry. You caught me off guard. Doesn't your loyalty for the last six years mean anything? Were you the only one laid off?"
"No, Jim got it too."
"Great. Wasn't Convenient Paper his only job? What's he going to do?"
"I don't know. We're both in a bit of shock. And this isn't the end. More people are getting cut. Next month or the one after. Everyone's in a panic."
One of them was scuffling about. Then my mom said, and her voice sounded tired and sad, "It seems mighty cold-blooded if you ask me."
"I'll find something else. Don't worry, I'll start looking tomorrow."
"It could take months, years. Everyone's looking for work right now. My friend Janice's husband has been looking for two years. Two years! This couldn't have happened at a worse time. What with prices going up and no raise for me next year, and not to mention Sarah's dance lessons. We were going to start her in January."
Sarah sucked in her breath and her eyes grew huge. I clamped my hand over her mouth and gave her a warning look. She floundered under my clasp and fresh tears began anew.
"I know. I know. Let's remain calm," Dad said.
"It doesn't make any difference how we calm we remain, does it? It's a done flippin' deal." Oh, Mom was in great form tonight. "Do the girls know?"
"Yes, they know."
"What? You told them before telling me?"
"They came home and saw me on the couch. I had to have some excuse for being home before ten o'clock at night."
"I suppose." Her voice softened. "I'm sorry, David. This puts us in a predicament, doesn't it?"
"I've been thinking. If we cut the girls' tuition, it might not be so bad."
"Cut their..." A pause. Then she sighed so loudly, we heard it through the door. "I suppose Bates will have to go. I hate it. I hate it."
"I'm not exactly dancing the jig," Dad answered.
"I know, I know. I guess I should go talk with the girls."
Sarah and I looked at each other in alarm. We scrambled up and hurried to my bedroom. We barely made it before we heard their bedroom door open and close.
"Girls!" Mom hollered down the hallway. "We have to talk."
"We're in here," I said.
She opened my door and stood there. Her face drooped. I'd never noticed before, but she was getting wrinkles all around her mouth and eyes, the crinkly kind.
"Your father told you the news."
Sarah ran to Mom and threw her arms around her waist. "We won't have to quit Bates will we? You can fix it, can't you?" She raised her head to Mom. "Emili can go to public school. If we only had one tuition to pay, we could do it? Right? There'd be enough money for me?"
"Thanks a lot, Sarah. How generous of you," I said.
Mom unwrapped Sarah's arms from her middle. "I don't see how it's possible for either of you girls to stay. We can check the numbers, but don't get your hopes up. I'm sorry."
Sarah gasped for air. To her credit, I thought she was trying not to sob again.
"Your father feels terrible. I'm counting on you two not to make it worse."
"Of course, Mom. We'll be fine." I glanced meaningfully at Sarah.
She studied her feet.
"We'll go with you to enroll at public. We'll need your records from Bates, which won't be difficult. Girls, I'm sorry. You can finish out the month. We're paid through then." She glanced at me then fixed her eyes on Sarah. "It'll be all right. I know it's a big change, but you girls are strong. You'll make friends quickly. You'll see."
She hugged us both then headed toward the door. There were tears in her eyes.
"Mom?" I asked.
She turned around.
"Love you."
"Love you, too." She barely got the words out before hurrying from my room.
I had exactly ten days left at Bates Academy. The thought looped in my brain. Ten days. Ten days. Ten days.
Trying to sleep was torture. Every time I woke up I heard m.u.f.fled sobs from Sarah's room. Hearing her anguish made me want to cry right along with her. But what good would it do?
The next day when I got to school, Lance spotted me right away and hurried toward me. Hurried! It made me feel so good, I almost forgot the night of misery. "Hey, Cis. You still mad?" He pouted like a puppy, all wide-eyed and full of suppressed energy.
I grabbed his hand, squeezed it, and then let go quickly before someone saw and we got in trouble. "Sorry I was so upset. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
"Got that right." His smile melted me. "You need to know I don't react so good under pressure. I need time to think about stuff. And I did think about you leaving, Cis. Of course we can still see each other."
"Just not as much, right?" I stared up into his eyes, which, right then, were the color of pure gold. "It's not like I'm moving to a different continent. We still live in the same town, and we can make it work. And our schools play each other in sports, so we can sit together and cheer for opposite teams."
"Rah, rah," Lance said. He shifted his backpack onto his shoulder. "What does Farah think?"
I glanced at him. "She's not happy."
"I wouldn't think so. You're her best friend, and she'll get lonely."
"I guess."
"I'll talk to her." We pushed through the crowd toward my locker. Why did Lance have to talk to Farah? Like it was going to help? I almost said something, but didn't. There was a shocker. Maybe I was learning to keep my mouth shut.
I opened my locker and gathered the books I needed for my first two cla.s.ses. The warning bell rang.
"Gotta go, Cis. See you later."
I nodded.
Farah didn't show up until ten o'clock. Her weird absences were becoming epic. When she finally came in, her cheeks were puffy. Had she been crying because I was leaving? I'd often wondered if I meant anything to her at all, and seeing her upset made me feel like maybe I did. The day started to look up.
During third period, Mr. Anthony gave us a test so I didn't get a chance to talk with Farah until lunch. We met in the bathroom. She still looked awful.
"Are you okay? Why were you late this time?"
"Not feeling so good," she said. She leaned heavily against a stall. "I feel c.r.a.ppy."
"Why'd you come?"
"Because my mother is a complete witch. I couldn't bear to be in the house with her another minute."
"Sorry. If you're still upset about me leaving, we can see each other all the time. You can come over and we can text and stuff."