The Lame Daoist Priest Chapter 100

Chapter 100: Returning Home

Translator: Udeze

Editor: Chrof

I quickly dialed my Dad's cell number. And fortunately, I got connected as Dad's hoa.r.s.e voice roared out, "WHERE THE h.e.l.l HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU DEAD b.a.s.t.a.r.d? YOUR MOM AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK AND MISSING YOU SO MUCH, DO YOU f.u.c.kING KNOW THAT?!"

"Ugh, I'm so sorry Dad. It's not like I wanted it to, my hands were tied too. Anyways, what about Mom? I called her number, but why did her number not exist anymore?"

Dad's answer was rather vague and ambiguous, "She changed her cell number. So, where are you and when will you go home?"

"I'm in the capital, Dad. I'll head to the airport right now and get home as soon as possible."

I and Dad chatted some more words as I hung up and then dialed Xu Xiaoling's cell number. Her voice was trembling as she spoke, "Is this really you, Xiaolong?"

"Yeah, it's me, Sis Xiaoling. I'm really sorry I made you worry. I really didn't have time to inform you back then." I replied to her with deep regret.

She replied thoughtfully, "It's alright. Yang Jiannan told me about it, saying that you headed back to headquarters. Was it the Phantasm Rain Pavilion?"

I replied back in a whisper, "Sis Xiaoling, that's a secret and you cannot speak about it. Anyways, are you still working at the museum?"

"Yeah, how about you?"

"I'm in the capital now and on the way back home immediately! Sis Xiaolong, I really missed you these past few months."

"I miss you too, Xiaolong, and come back quickly," said Xu Xiaoling softly.

****

I gave myself a haircut, had a shower, and changed clothes before I headed straight to the airport!

As I got there, I sat in the waiting lounge all night long. At about 7 in the morning, which was my flight, I then boarded the plane.

As a matter of fact, there was something bugging me that I've been wanting to figure out. When I fought Jin Peng yesterday, I had dozens of sword slash wounds all over my body. One of which was quite deep, which was the wound on my shoulder bone. But when I woke up last night, all those wounds suddenly disappeared. It really didn't make sense and was very hard to fathom for me. How could it be healed so fast?

The plane took off and the flight attendants turned into busy bees, distributing meals and beverages. I took a box of breakfast myself and ate slowly. However, in the middle of eating, I suddenly choked and got a nosebleed. There was no sign, nor any omen either! The blood was flowing down into my breakfast box, so I quickly grabbed my backpack and took out a tissue pack. It was really fortunate that I had already antic.i.p.ated that this would happen so I made preparation in advance.

A flight attendant ran over and asked, "Are you alright, Sir?"

My breath was somewhat ragged as I replied to her, "It's nothing, just some old troubles."

"It should be caused by changes in air pressure, Sir. You can go to the bathroom to clean yourself," suggested the stewardess.

After cleaning myself for a full three minutes, my nosebleed finally stopped. There was, however, some black color around my eyes. My physical condition really had worsened to the extreme. It seemed that I really had to find Zhang Zixuan and get treatment as fast as possible, else my condition might turn for the worse if I delayed it any longer.

As I got off the plane, I took a commuter bus and headed straight back home. Dad knew that I was going home today, so he especially took a day off and didn't even take a cla.s.s. Right as I entered the flat, Dad's scolding came raining on me. I knew he was angry because he really cared about me. As for Mom, she quickly told me to take a seat and asked me how I got a scar on my face. I spoke with a soothing tone to comfort her, "It's nothing serious, Mom. It's just a scratch I got due to my carelessness and being not careful enough. By the way, I went too quickly last time so I did not have time to call you. I'm sorry for making you two worried sick about me for several months, Dad, Mom."

Dad was still scolding me, whereas Mom was unhappy for his scolding and said, "Hey, old fogey! Are you done with your songs and sermons? Our son has just come back. It's enough scolding him once or twice, and you still haven't had enough yet? Are you getting addicted to it or what?"

"You're just spoiling him now." Dad turned his head to the side, not making a sound.

I spoke to my parents and did every possible way to comfort them for a long time until Dad's anger finally vanished.

At noon, Sis Xiaoling rushed over after her work hours. I gave her a hug right after she entered the apartment. She touched the scar on my face, asking how I got it, and I just gave her a careless answer as usual.

In the afternoon, Xu Xiaoling left. She said that she wanted to have some fun time with me together. I was so touched I choked because of it. While we walked together to the copy shop, she told me what had happened in the last three months.

Big Sis had her house already built with Jiannan's help. The house was well built and strong, and all the costs for rebuilding the house had also been settled.

There was also news about Chen Haotian, who was now basically a gangster from the underworld. The reason was that Scarface Li's gang came over and made some ruckus, and then were badly beaten by him. Later on, for good or worse, he somehow became their Big Brother, the leader of the gang. Rumors had it that he was now getting along well with all walks of life in the underworld.

As for Jiannan… as we entered the copy shop, we found him sitting at the computer desk with legs stretched to the side. He stared at the monitor, like watching some kind of… umm, unhealthy stuff. I stood at the door and coughed twice. Jiannan did not even raise his head and said, "Shoe repair 5 yuan; 2 yuan for the key; and fortune telling 25 yuan."

Eh? What the h.e.l.l? I staggered back a few steps to look up at the shop plaque. Yeah, huh? Ah, the plaque was still written that this was still a copy shop! But… where the h.e.l.l was this fortune-telling service coming from then? I just went away for three months and this idiot b.a.s.t.a.r.d had become a fortune teller?

I let out a cough two times more and said, "Can I copy this doc.u.ment?"

Hearing my voice, Jiannan quickly turned around and cried, "AH, BIG BRO!"

"… Are we still in the photocopy business?"

"Huh? I guess so." Jiannan said, "Ain't those big letters outside still written as a copy shop? Even the blinds can still see it, right?!"

His answer left me a bit speechless, as I asked, "But how come you didn't put 50 cents for a copy in your tongue ads then?"

"This is what you obviously don't know about, Big Bro." Jiannan spoke as his saliva splashed, "Society is always developing and changing; and now is an era of progress, so we must continue to innovate in order to make tons of money!"

"Is that so?"

"It is!" Jiannan nodded with all seriousness. Then, he pulled me toward the second floor and spoke to Xu Xiaoling as he walked, "Sis Xiaoling, Big Bro and I will go upstairs first. We got something to discuss. It's man stuff, so please no eavesdropping, okay?"

"Wha—What? You are taking a man?" Asked Xu Xiaoling [1]

"It's man stuff. Aia, you don't listen very well." Jiannan shortly replied and dragged me to the second floor.

"What the h.e.l.l is it? Why are you mystifying it?" I asked.

"Big Bro, have you ever asked your girlfriend if she's a virgin?" Asked Jiannan in a whisper.

I frowned and asked back, "What do you mean? Just spit it out directly."

Jiannan minced and said, "Err, okay. I wanna ask my girlfriend if she's a virgin."

"Then ask her directly yourself. How should I know if she's a virgin or not?" I was really speechless.

"No, no, no. I… I just don't know how to ask it, Big Bro. You are experienced and know tons of things, so please give me some advice here."

I thought for a second and said, "When it comes to being knowledgeable on this thing, you should just find Chen Nuo, your female cousin!"

"I already asked that cousin of mine. She told me just ask directly: Are you a virgin?"

"And then? Did you ask your girlfriend?"

"I did. Last night when we had fried bread, I asked her, 'Babe, are you a virgin (Virgo)?'"

"So, what did she say?" I was slightly interested.

Jiannan's face looked miserable as he said, "She said, 'I'm a Cancer. Why did you ask about it?'. Now, Big Bro, you've gotta give me some real advice!" [1]

I facepalmed myself and said, "About this… why don't you try for yourself?"

****

When I went out to buy some drinks, I called Zhang Zixuan while in pa.s.sing.

My call connected as Zhang Zixuan's laughter came out and he said, "Brother Xiaolong! I heard you went back to the Phantasm Rain Pavilion a while back. I called you back then to ask for your help, but you weren't there."

"Yeah, I've been busy these past few months. Do you still need my a.s.sistance, Brother Zhang? Just speak about it freely." I also chuckled.

"Nah, no need. Things have been settled already. Anyways, you couldn't be calling me without something in mind, right? Anything wrong with you this time? Straightly said, I'm kinda a bit busy here, so I can't accompany you to gossip."

I was a bit embarra.s.sed so I said, "Brother Zhang, I used that technique of mine again, and have been feeling unwell recently. I didn't want to use it actually, but the circ.u.mstances back then kind of forced me to use it, so I'd like to ask what medicine I need to take to cure my illness this time."

Zhang Zixuan's tone turned grave when he replied, "You used that again?… I need to examine it myself. It's best you come over here so I can check your pulse. When do you have time? I'll arrange a helicopter to pick you up."

"It's really inconvenient for you, Brother Zhang. Anyways, I don't have things to do tomorrow, so how about tomorrow, then? Is it convenient for you?"

"Seems unlikely if tomorrow, but the day after it. Alright, the day after tomorrow morning, you go to the Zhang Pharmaceutical Industry's edifice and wait there. Someone will contact you," said Zhang Zixuan.

****

The next day was Sat.u.r.day.

Sis Xiaoling was on holiday and I was already at her place early in the morning. We had tons of things to do today.

I left in a hurry three months ago and didn't get the chance to send money to those poor college students. Hence, I was going to write them and transfer it to them today. The letters were anonymous, and you know, doing some good deeds while staying anonymous was kind of inconvenient.

I and Sis Xiaoling now sat at the coffee table, writing letters of encouragement. While I myself only directly wrote: We hereby subsidize your tuition fee of 8,000 yuan, so learn and study hard. Also, make progress and improve yourself every day! …. Signature: Anonymous."

As Sis Xiaoling looked at my letter, her face was like she was about to cry and laugh at the same time, "You just write a few simple sentences like this one?"

"Yeah? Would you write him, say, an-800-words essay or something? Besides, I told him the essence, to study hard and make progress every day. Besides, that's what I wrote him last time, too." I clutched her shoulders and kissed her lips.

She punched my chest and said, "You really know how to take advantage of the situation, don't you? Anyways, quickly write it. We still have 17 letters to write."

I licked my lips. "It's fine. I write fast you know. It takes only a minute for a letter." After saying that, I continued writing anon letters. I really had to appreciate my practice of writing so many charm papers as it made my handwriting fairly good. Plus, the contents I wrote on the letters were all concise and compact, and thus, all the seventeen letters were soon finished.

We mailed the letter and then went straight to the bank to transfer the money.

Today was Sat.u.r.day, so there were many people in the back trying to handle their businesses. After I took my queue number, I and Sis Xiaoling took a seat and joked merrily while waiting. There were more than 30 numbers left ahead of me, whereas only four cashiers opened for business service. It would take at least half an hour before our turn came.

My bottom had yet to feel hot for sitting too long, as a screeching braking sound came from the outside. My eyes turned to the direction of the sound and I saw a white van parked right at the entrance. As its door opened, five men with a masked face and armed with firearms stormed inside! Their leader then blasted a series of gunshots to the roof and shouted, "THOSE WHO DON'T WANNA DIE, SQUAT ON THE FLOOR AND PUT BOTH YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!"

The bank turned into a mess in an instant. A man with a bag tried to run outside amid the chaotic mess. But the robber ruthlessly used his submachine gun and made the man into a honeycomb!

"AAAAAAAH!" Several women screamed.

Xiaoling also screamed, but I covered her mouth and gave a hushing gesture to her.

These bandits were really insane and frenzied. If anyone didn't cooperate with them, they would definitely be swept by waves of bullets at once!

Xiaoling and I squatted on the floor. I gripped her hand and motioned her not to be afraid, saying, 'I am here and I won't let any harm to befall you!'

This Red Arrow fate mark of mine was really something against nature, like, literally!

Today, I and Sis Xiaoling were just trying to enjoy the lover world where only the two of us could enjoy it together. That was why I gave Big Sis three days off and sent her away early in the morning, so she could go home to see how her family was doing as well. But who the h.e.l.l could ever imagine this d.a.m.ned-f.u.c.ked up-s.h.i.tty event to happen right as I just sent her away so that these f.u.c.king violent bandits came at the door at once? And to tell you the truth, anyone with a sane brain could honestly tell, the chance of this s.h.i.t happening was nearly equal to winning a jackpot of the 5-million-yuan lottery…

Note:

[1] Xiaoling misheard Jiannan's words here.

[2] Jiannan asked a virgin (Virgo) while his girlfriend answered that she's a Cancer