The Invisibles: Let Me Go Part 25

Her mouth hangs open like she can't believe I'm asking. "An intense love. We couldn't keep our hands or mouths off each other. Remember the car rides, the parties." She smacks the wood. "This picnic table saw our naked a.s.ses quite a few times."

"It sounds more like an intense l.u.s.t," I mumble.

"We were teenagers; of course we were all over each other." She scoots closer and I don't pull away this time. She misses mentioning the small notes of promise and love I would leave in her locker. How I would get up early and drive ten minutes out of my way to pick her up for school and then drive her back home. The numerous times Coach Turner made me run laps for being late to practice because I did a favor for her. I did those things because I loved her.

"What about actual love, Carly?"

"You know I loved you." She peers down at me. "You do remember, right?"

For the life of me in this moment, I don't. I've put her on a pedestal so long, I forgot about the fights. The constant arguing about some girl who approached me, or the fact I didn't go above and beyond to get her what she wanted. The times I sat outside her house to catch her and convince her to stop giving me the silent treatment.

Our attraction was clear, and the make-up s.e.x was out of this world. But, now that I've experienced Paige, I realize, Carly and I weren't that much in love.

"Can I ask you a question?"

She nods.

"Have you dated other people in California?"

"Of course. You have, too. I heard about you coming back on Thanksgiving with some blonde. Obviously, it wasn't your most recent girl."

"Her name is Paige," I remind her through clenched teeth.

"How many have you dated?"

She releases an exasperated breath. "I don't know . . . maybe ten."

I shake my head and huff. "Ten." I repeat and stare over at her.

"I've dated two and each one I've almost f.u.c.ked up because of us. Actually because of you."

"You can't blame me for not having a successful relationship."

Not able to be so close to her, I stand up. "You f.u.c.ked with my mind. You still do. I'm finally at peace with the past and believe that someone won't leave me. You decide now to come back, showing up a half hour after I told Paige I loved her. What Paige and I have . . . is more than we ever had. You screwed with me long enough, Carly."

"Look Rob, you came. You came back here for me, so that means something."

A loud growl escapes my lips. "You know why I'm here? Because Paige made me and because I love her, I agreed."

"Why would she ask you to come back to me?" She's as confused as I was in that parking lot, but as I worked through it on the drive down, I saw where Paige was coming from.

"Because she loves me."

"Um . . . I hate to break it to you, but why would she push you into another girls arms."

I don't want to repeat myself. Carly will never understand Paige's request because I failed to remember one flaw of Carly's. She's selfish beyond her own control. She's fierce when she goes after what she wants and I guarantee, her and Nora set the hospital thing up. Purposely separating us and Nora chirping in Paige's ear. The longer I'm figuring out how they worked together and hurt Paige the angrier I'm becoming.

"Paige loves me and you know how I know that?"

She rolls her eyes, but it's my time to speak my mind. She's controlled me too long.

"She wants me to be happy whether that means with her or not. She sent me here to make peace with my past. She took a chance in losing me, just so I can do what I want in the future. When you left, you never gave a second glance back to me. You didn't give a s.h.i.t about where I was, how I was doing. s.h.i.t, Carly, can't you see how f.u.c.ked up that is? You left me at the worst possible time. How is that love?"

"I was grieving, Rob. We killed my father," she screams and her head falls into her hands as sobs escape her.

I rush over and kneel in front of her. "I'm sorry, Carly. I truly am sorry for that accident. I've relived it a million times, figuring out how things could have gone, but I can't change the past. I've been through five years of therapy, just to figure out that I want a future. I don't want to live in the past."

She picks up her head and I swipe the wet streaks from her cheeks. "You want to know why I know what Paige and I have is different?"

"Not really."

"Well, I'm going to tell you anyway, because you don't really love me. I'm happy just holding her. The smell of her, and the fact the minute I walk in the door and she's there, my body calms and a serenity comes over me that we're together. If I'm somewhere and see something funny or crazy, she's the first person I want to call and laugh with. She's always first on my mind and right now she's back at our house thinking she's second best in my eyes."

She blankly stares at me. I'm only wasting my breath. My hope is one day she'll realize what she's missing when she finds her person.

"I can't have that, so, I'm going to leave. I'm sorry Carly and you've haunted my memory for a long time, but it's time I move forward . . . with Paige." I tighten my hands on top of hers.

"Walk me to my car." She's ignored my whole spiel, but I stand up and offer my hand.

We exit the park hand in hand to the cars. The moon shines down on the gravel path with trees on either side of us. This is our spot, the one we snuck off to for quickies and escape our worries.

"I hope you're happy," she mumbles and I tighten my hand in hers.

"I will be." I'm confident that Paige and I are the ones meant to be here. Not the other way around.

Once we get to the car, she opens her car door and I wrap my arms around her small frame. "I hope you find your happiness."

"Me too." When I draw back there's a small smile on her face.

I back away, sliding behind her car to mine.

"Rob!" she calls out as I open my car door.

I turn to face her.

"I really am sorry. I should have stayed. It was wrong to leave you." Her words score right to my heart and a new calmness washes through me.

"PAIGE?" MATTY ASKS.

I finish sweeping my hair up in a ponytail. "Yeah, bud?"

"Where's Rob?" This isn't the question I was expecting. He hasn't asked about our mother since I returned home. Chrissy and Dex were awesome, playing basketball, ordering pizza and keeping him occupied until I could get back.

"He's out." I smile and Matty frowns.

"Why?" He grips the comforter in his small hands.

"He had to do some stuff."

"Oh." He lets the topic go.

"Have a good night. Tomorrow maybe we'll go to the park."

His eyes light up. "Yay! I hope Rob's back." My chest tightens.

"Maybe, but you will still have fun with me, right?" I act offended and he giggles.

"I love you."

I lean down and his arms wrap around my neck. "I love you, Matty." I kiss him on the cheek and stand up.

After I shut the door to my bedroom, I go downstairs. Might as well keep myself busy with studying. Dex and Chrissy went out tonight and said they'd be home later. It's Friday night, so I didn't expect them to keep me company, although, the house is too quiet right now.

Flipping on the television, to fill the silence, I become enthralled in another Hotel Rescue. I wonder how I would ever have a job like that with Matty now. Unable to concentrate on Economics, I throw the book on the couch cushion and venture into the kitchen. Scrounging the fridge for anything, I open the pizza box and grab another slice.

With a water bottle tucked under my arm and the pizza in my hand, I go to walk back into the living room when his headlights shine through the window.

My stomach tumbles and my eyes veer to the bas.e.m.e.nt to hide. I can't escape to my room, and even the closet sounds mighty nice right now. Taking the pizza, I toss it in the trash, and run over to the couch. I grab the blanket lying along the back and spread it over my body.

Just as the key inserts in the back door, I lay my head down and pretend to sleep. s.h.i.t. I should have faced the back of the couch. I attempt to keep my face straight, no emotion and pretending to breathe heavy.

His footsteps don't stop until he's right in front of me and this act is way too hard for the outcome to be successful.

"Paige," he whispers, his hand lands on my cheek and I pretend to flutter my eyes open. "I know you're awake. I saw you through the window when I drove up."

My eyes open and I can't help but smile. Those blue eyes are brighter if possible. They're clear of worry and hold a determination now. "Sorry, I got scared." Why is he so easy to open up with?

"You're mine." He doesn't beat around the bush and I move to sit up, the blanket falling off my shoulders.

"What?" I scrunch my eyebrows.

"My number one. Paige, you're it."

Tears well up again in my eyes and he kneels in front of me, his hands on my legs. He smirks at my pajama pants and then eyes me again.

"You cracked the code and opened my heart to possibilities I thought I could never have." We share a smile and he continues. "Paige, you know what I just realized on the way home?"

"What?" my voice cracks.

"It's always been you, Paige. I love how you reach for the radio to change the station to what you want. I love how the scent of your shampoo lingers in the fabric of my car. I love that you're the first person I want to call and hear laugh when I see something funny. But one thing I don't love is-" I gasp and fall back into the couch. "Besides your pants." I stare down at the 'check this out' print on my pajama pants and laugh. "No one needs to be checking that a.s.s out."

Then his face goes serious. "I don't like that you cast everyone more important than yourself, and I think it's time someone puts you first. And I'm that someone."

My stomach somersaults and my heart leaps while tears stream down my face. I inch forward and place my hands on his cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you. Do you think bacon will make this even better?" He winks.

"You are what makes everything better."

A smile creeps up his face and then his lips land on mine.

"THANKS FOR COMING with me, man." I trail out of the Registrar's office with Brady by my side. The man has connections at Western that I couldn't deny access to.

"I told you two years ago I'd go with you. Nothing changed that."

He's the best friend a guy could have. Which only brings guilt to me since I was such a horrible b.a.s.t.a.r.d more times than not.

"Well . . . thanks."

Appreciation is still hard for me to give, but I'm learning.

"Don't get all sappy. I just sweet talked a few people."

"You asked for favors and I know your dad yanked on a few strings."

He grins and then shrugs his shoulders.

"It's what friends do."

I wish I could be half the man Brady is.

"So, the wedding?" I change the subject before the conversation overtakes with emotions.

"Yep. The wedding." He glances around the hallway, waving to a few people I don't know. Not surprising, Brady's been roaming this campus forever.

"Don't sound so excited." I stuff my hands in my pockets as we exit the building. Amazing how the cool air of fall is already here.

"It just sucks. When I asked Sadie to marry me, it was because I loved her so much, you know? All I wished for was her to be next to me as we walked the path of life."

"No need to use the lines on me."

He chuckles. "You know what I mean. Now it's turned into a f.u.c.king napkin matching a dress and five-star food; you have no idea how much a d.a.m.n cake costs."

Brady's the guy who's in a good mood almost all of the time. But each time the wedding comes up, a scowl comes across his face and he usually slides out of the room.

"You thinking about calling it off?"

He gapes over at me and then straight ahead as we proceed to the parking lot.

"h.e.l.l no. It's just, I want it to be about us. The commitment we're reinforcing. Not the dress, the food, the guests, or any of that bulls.h.i.t."

"Why don't you talk to her?"

"And catch her between the incessant phone calls to her mom and her counseling sessions? I've tried, it's hopeless."

"She's in counseling?"

"No dumba.s.s, she is the counselor."