The Invisibles: Let Me Go Part 13

"Not a girl Rob wants, but yeah." I flip around and he's crossing his arms over his chest enjoying the show we're giving him.

"Shut the f.u.c.k up," I yell at him and then focus back on Paige. "Don't do this. I'll pay for your tattoo if you allow Violet to do it."

"Why can't Jed do it?" She purposely leaves her pants open and sticks her hands in her back pockets. I reach down to b.u.t.ton them back up.

"Just don't." I wish I could scream that I want her to be mine. I wish she could be my one and only, but I've come too close before and it all came crashing down in front of me. I'm not ready to post a vacant sign on top of my heart in this moment, but the thought of her with someone else feels like acid going down my throat.

She seethes through her teeth. "I'm growing tired of this, Rob." She reaches down and zips up her pants. Thank G.o.d. "Thanks, Jed." She tosses over her shoulder and disappears through the curtain.

"Come back without a.s.shole and I'll do it for you," Jed calls out and I turn around shooting him a death glare along with the finger.

"f.u.c.k off, Jed."

By the time I pay for my tattoo and get back to my car outside, Paige is nowhere to be found. As my eyes scan the surroundings, I find her resting along the brick wall, her head in her hands.

I slowly approach, careful not to alarm her. When I lean over her, blocking the streetlight from shining down on her angelic face, I watch her shoulders deflate. "Paige," I sigh, but a she only stands up and pa.s.ses me.

The streets are crawling with a few college students loitering in the streets probably hoping to get a tat tonight. None of them seem overly concerned about us.

"You're an a.s.shole." She shoves me in the chest with both of her hands and I fly backward until I can catch my footing.

"I know." Why even fight her on it?

"Why?" Her voice raises.

"Let's just go home." I'm surprised how even my voice sounds. She has no idea how much I want to dig my heart out, throw it in her hands and beg her to accept it. But, it's too scary, too terrifying to trust another person.

"No." She steadily trudges down the street, away from me and my heart clenches watching her go.

"Paige." I jog a few steps and lightly grasp her elbow.

She flips around and throws her arm out of my grip. "Don't touch me."

Anger pours from her eyes and I back step from her, unsure of how to handle this.

"Listen, alright?"

She crosses her arms across her chest, her eyes fixed on mine. Why is she even listening to me? Why does she give a s.h.i.t about an a.s.shole like me that will grab her heart and crush it without thinking of the consequences?

"Well?" She impatiently shifts her feet and my story catches in my throat, afraid that she'll trample me on her way out the door.

"There was . . ." I clear my throat and I see her stance loosen slightly, noticing how tense I've instantly become. I scan the streets and she does the same. "An accident." I finish the words that I've learned from therapy to say without a tremble in my voice.

"Okay."

I take a deep breath and divert my gaze away from her eyes that reveal all her built up feelings that I've selfishly focused on the last few months. The same pa.s.sion I have for her that's making me tell her my worst moment. "My girlfriend-"

I turn away from her, unable to see her icy eyes after I tell her. "s.h.i.t," I mumble and her hands land on my shoulders and her body presses against my back. G.o.d, her warmth is like a blanket over my heart. A necessity that I've gone without for too long.

"It's okay; you don't have to tell me anymore." My eyes close relishing her arms moving down to wrap around my waist.

My hands instinctively cover hers and she squeezes my body into her smaller frame. I imagine her cheek on my back, listening to my rapid heartbeat. She may misconstrue that the fast pace is from fear of my secret, but it's her that makes my pulse quicken.

Turning around in her arms, my hands cradle her cheeks. "You're so d.a.m.n gorgeous. You're caring, your heart is so big, you're amazing, but you're also everything I shouldn't take."

"Take me," she demands, and without thinking twice this time, my lips crash to hers, my tongue diving into her mouth. Unable to restrain myself from taking what I've wanted for the past few months. She releases a moan into my mouth and I back step us to the brick wall, pressing her against it. "Take me home," she whispers as my lips cascade down her neck. When I don't move she grabs my face with her hands, turning it up to her. "I'm not asking, Rob, I'm telling you. If you want me, take me home." The smoldering l.u.s.t pouring out of her eyes is enough to convince me to take this step with her.

I pause, staring at her because if we do this, I can't ditch her after one night. She'll never be enough to fulfill my needs only once, I have to be committed to trying . . . trying to make whatever this is work. I glance up at the star filled sky, wishing for a sign. Maybe another shooting star so I could make a wish that would hopefully come true like that night when I was fourteen. But none of the bright lights zing across the sky, instead I have to search inside of myself for something that I've never been good at-trust.

WE BARELY BREAK apart from one another to climb out of the car. I swear Rob almost rear ended about ten cars on our way home. I tried to persuade some tongue diving, but he kept telling me we had to wait. My desire increases with every second that goes on where he doesn't fight this mutual attraction. Every inch he releases to me grows my want a foot more for him.

Being eager to have his hands or lips on me again, I rush to the other side of the car where he slams my back across the hot hood, while his hands pin mine to the sides of my head. I arch my back off the hot hood from the engine and he takes the opportunity to dip down, nipping at my b.r.e.a.s.t.s through my shirt and bra.

My breath leeks out in labored pants as he releases his hold. Needing to touch him, to have him closer, I weave my fingers through his black spiky hair until they land on the base of his neck and I tug him toward me. His lips dip down and I mold my mouth to his with a frantic need that's new for me. "Get me upstairs."

He tears away from me and for a moment I contemplate the fear whirling in his eyes, but as quickly as his apprehension appears, it vanishes. His hands slowly move down the sides of my ribs causing my back to arch from the rush of shivers following his touch. When he grips my a.s.s, pushes up and I jump into his waiting arms without ever breaking our kiss. It's sloppy, wet, and uncontrolled, but it matches what we've been feeling these past months. How much we've denied our bodies their desire comes out in a raw and frantic nature.

Magically, Rob's able to place his key in the lock and pushes us through the serenity of a vacant house, free of any witnesses. He whisks us through the kitchen, past the family room, up the stairs and when we break at the landing, I slide down his body. "Whose room?" he asks through labored breaths.

"Pick one," I answer, trying to catch my own breath from our marathon lip lock through the house. My hand dips down to rub him through his jeans and he sucks in a sharp breath.

"Mine's closer." He grabs my hand and pulls me through the entryway of his room, shutting the door behind us. My heart races with the expectation of him going crazy and rip my cloths off, but he doesn't. "Undress for me." He casually sits on the bed, watching me as my eyes drift around his room. In the past months, I've only caught glimpses of his private, serene place other than the night I tucked Matty into Rob's bed. He's neat and I notice the mess of guitar pics scattered around every surface. "Paige."

I snap back to him and a seductive smile forms on from his swollen lips. He's leaned back on his hands and my heart stammers that I'm here with him. "Yeah." I bite my bottom lip, taking in all of him waiting there for me.

"Strip, baby." His tone isn't demanding, but soothingly persuading if that's possible. Seductive and s.e.xual stirred together.

My hands reach for the hem of my shirt, but I figure I might as well make this fun. I step closer to take up the s.p.a.ce between his legs and he quickly straightens his back, his hands slide up the back of my thighs and he steadies himself.

Painstakingly slow, I inch the shirt up, displaying my bare stomach. Rob leans forward and peppers small kisses along my waist. I tug the shirt off and drop it to the floor, watching his burning eyes worshipping my body. Not waiting for me, his fingers skim up my back and he flicks the clasp of my bra. "I thought I was supposed to undress myself?" I tease and he continues to kiss my skin, rising quickly to my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"You're taking too long," he murmurs.

My fingers play with the longer strands of hair in the back of his head as he rises to his feet. Our chests are flush against one another and he cups the back of my head, tilting it up. I lose myself in his hunger filled eyes He speeds our pace again, crashing his lips to mine and thoroughly kissing me as though he's on a deserted island and I contain his last drop of water.

Suddenly, he's like a d.a.m.n yellow light, yielding again, cherishing and enjoying our kiss. His lips stay on mine, his tongue seeking mine out to begin a dance we've started to find. As his one hand weaves through my curly strands of hair, his other roams down my body. Wanting to be skin against skin, I reach for the edge of his T-shirt and lift it off of him. He groans when he has to break our kiss in order to shed it completely, but he quickly captures my mouth again, not missing a beat of where we were.

His bare chest warms not only my body, but also my heart. In this moment, I'm done. Rob is the one for me and even though he has the ability to break my heart, I don't care. Because this is worth ten heartbreaks from the unwavering love flowing through my veins being sheltered in his arms.

Slowly, he breaks our kiss, my lips beg for more, but his lips trail down my jaw, making his way to my ear. "Unzip my pants," he whispers. An electric jolt shocks my body while my fingers don't waste time reaching for his b.u.t.ton. I unsnap his jeans, and he sucks in a deep breath and I lean forward, wanting nothing more than to feel another love-induced kiss that he's been giving me all night. My fingers find his zipper and I slowly drag it down. His thick c.o.c.k springs free and a shiver runs through my body at the thought of him moving inside of me. I push his pants down, and they fall to his ankles. He toes out of his shoes and jeans, while my hand palms his erection. His body jerks but he relaxes to my touch faster than I expected.

The more I allow my hand to move along his d.i.c.k, the more noises escape his mouth. With each enjoyable pleasure sound, my own wetness increases and I can't wait until he sheds the leather pants from my body. "Turn around."

I twist around and he guides me down to his lap. His hands skim up my thighs and he reaches around, popping open my b.u.t.ton. Once they're open, he hooks his thumbs on the sides, leaving only the flimsy thin layers of our underwear between us.

I step out of my pants and his large hands knead and molding by b.r.e.a.s.t.s. My head falls to his shoulder and his lips manipulate my neck as his hands work my body. I grind along his hardness, wiggling from the release my body is begging for.

Rob eases us down and glides my body to join his on the bed. As soon as we're both lying down, he positions us so I'm on my back and he's on his side. His pointer finger glides down my naked body in a slow and graceful manner leaving a path of quivers eagerly following its path. He peppers kisses to my shoulder as my hands fight for a chance to pleasure him the same way. "You're so perfect, Paige," he whispers and I melt from his words, my body falling into an abyss on his mattress.

He moves on top of me, kissing me hard and deep before gradually moving down my body until his face is right above my center. He brings my satin panties down my legs as he continues casting small kisses to my skin. After my underwear joins our other clothes on the floor, his palms press against my thighs, opening me for him.

With one swipe of his tongue, every nerve ending in my body surges with awareness of his proximity. He eases my legs further apart and pushes them up, so my knees are practically by my ears, opening me fully for him. Once he positions me exactly how he wants me, his tongue dives into the wetness he created between my legs. I clench and fight the restraint of his arms holding down my legs. My fingers fist his sheets with every swipe of his tongue. When he engulfs my c.l.i.t into his mouth, as his tongue incessantly twirls it, my whole body begins to rise to the pleasure that's demands to be released.

Rob must have other plans because he draws back and I open my eyes to find him removing his boxers, positioning himself between my legs. Just as I'm about to stop him before he doesn't use something, he reaches over into the drawer of his nightstand and grabs a condom.

He places the condom in front of my mouth and my teeth clamp down on the foil packet. With the use of my teeth, he rips it open and pulls out the condom. "Good girl," he says, placing it over the top of his d.i.c.k. My fingers reach to help and he doesn't turn me away. Instead he leans back and gives me all of him. "So d.a.m.n hot," he murmurs, watching as I slide the condom down his length. My thighs squeeze together to push back the sparks of my burning o.r.g.a.s.m.

After the protection is in place, he flips us over so I'm straddling him. "I have to see you on top." His hands mold along my hips as he guides me down on him. I gasp when he's fully encased inside of me and I can barely move. I've never felt this full and I never want to forget this incredibly erotic moment between us. "f.u.c.k . . . you feel so good."

His words do nothing but spur my own arousal higher. A low growl rumbles from my chest. "So do you." I moan, my eyes dropping to his heaving chest and then his blazing eyes.

Since I've failed to start our motion of bodies from selfishly wanting to prolong it as long as possible, Rob rolls his hips and when I suck in a breath, he picks up the pace. Quickly, I join in, needing to feel more of him. His hands reach up and take my aching b.r.e.a.s.t.s and when his thumbs roll along my nipples, I arch my back, my hands landing on his thighs.

Once we find our groove, I can't help the feeling of explosions quickly forming inside of me. I clench to keep me from falling off the edge. When Rob's hands squeeze my a.s.s, at the same time as he thrusts deep inside of me, I quickly become weak and burst out as I cry, "Rob."

He rides me out, his thumb ma.s.saging my c.l.i.t as the waves of ecstasy slowly turn to ripples. Once my body stops twitching, he flips me over, and pins my hands on top of my head. He hammers inside of me and I feel my ecstacy building again, but try to match his speed for Rob to find his own release. A few minutes later, his sweat-slicked body holds still inside of me as his body collapses on top of me.

As he rests, I unclasp my ankles, allowing my legs to fall to the side and my hands reach across his shoulders. He nuzzles his face into my neck as my fingers lazily flow up and down his back. His breathing goes from labored to slow and steady. He doesn't rush to get off me or even withdraw from me. Instead he stays in place allowing me to show him how great making love can be.

He picks up his head and peers down at me. "Man, you're an animal." I smack his back, smiling up at him and he gives me a quick peck before pulling out of me. He pushes from the bed, and walks out of the room. "Stay put."

I HOLD MYSELF up, gripping the counter in front of the mirror and take a long breath after stepping out of my room to go to the bathroom. I toss the condom in the trash can and gain the courage I need for this next step. Do not do a d.i.c.k move.

When I step out in the hallway, I'm surprised to find Chrissy trudging up the stairs with Dex right behind her. I dodge back into the bathroom and shut the door, grabbing my towel to wrap around myself. Knowing she heard me, I try to listen for footsteps that go into their room, but instead it's luggage that hits the hardwood floor. Two seconds later a knock hits the bathroom door.

I open it a sliver and peer out to a very tired Chrissy. She has dark circles under her eyes and her hair is in a sloppy pony tail. "d.a.m.n girl, what the h.e.l.l happened to you?" I attempt to lighten the mood because from the scour on her face, she's p.i.s.sed about something and I don't want to add more fuel to her anger.

"Don't even ask. I just want my bed." She peers down the hall and I hear the rolling luggage being wheeled into their room.

"Well then, go." She stares down at my arm that's pressed against the door.

"You got a tattoo?" she questions, staring at me wearily.

"Yeah." I'm short and sweet to end this conversation quickly. She peers down the other way to a dark room that Paige usually fills.

"Have you seen Paige? Her car is out there." She narrows her eyes at me and I open the door, holding my hands up.

"No, last I saw her she was with some dips.h.i.t at Aces." I half-lie, half-truth. I am a dips.h.i.t.

"Oh, I wish you would have kept a better eye on her." I follow her out to the hall and she waits a second by her own door. Second-guessing what I just told her. "Who's in there?" She nods her head toward my door and I shake my head at her, giving her a c.o.c.ky smirk to make her a.s.sume a girl.

"Just a little fun," I remark and my hand reaches the doork.n.o.b, hoping to escape this inquisition of Chrissy's.

"Alright. Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning." She turns around to go into her room and I catch Dex sprawled out on the bed, already in his boxers. Not sure what happened to them, but I'll find out in the morning.

I open the door to my bedroom and the first thing I notice is my empty bed. Maybe I didn't need to give myself the pep talk in the bathroom. Paige is bent over, picking up her clothes, her naked a.s.s in the air. "Even though the view is nice, what are you doing?" I ask, coming behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist.

She wiggles in my arms for me to set her free. "I would have preferred you naked waiting for me in my bed," I softly say in her ear and I feel her squirm from the goose b.u.mps I ignited.

"For some more fun." She sneers and I step back, chuckling to myself.

"Turn around, baby," I whisper and she shakes her head. Her clothes are bundled in her arms as she refuses to face me. "I'm not going to ask twice, come on." I urge her and slowly she twists in my grip.

"What?" Her sight casts down to the floor, so, I press my pointer finger under her chin and force her to look at me. Those hazel irises shimmer with sadness and my gut wrenches that I brought her doubts to the surface.

"You aren't just some fun for me. I said that to Chrissy, so she'd lay off." Her eyes widen and the sides of her mouth begin to curl up. "Paige, I knew you'd be more than a one-night thing before I allowed myself to fully indulge in you."

"You did?" Her pants drop out of her arms and plop to the floor. When she bends down to retrieve them, I draw her into me.

In the split second she's in my arms, I know it's time. Time she knows exactly what happened to me all those years ago. The reason I am who I am and why it took me so long to accept this between us. Since I'm positive I'll do a million more bone head moves, she needs to know why.

"Stay here tonight," I softly ask in her ear and her cheek rubs against mine, silently agreeing to my request.

I grab her hand and lead her to my bed. Once her naked body is tucked under my comforter, I toss my towel and crawl in next to her. Wrapping her body against mine, she rests her head on my shoulder as my fingers graze back and forth down her spine.

"I was seventeen," I begin and she places her hand on my heart, which somehow slows the rapid beating.

"You don't have to-"

"Yeah, I do. I want to." That seems to appease her because her body relaxes in my hold and I inhale her fruity shampoo before I continue. "So, my girlfriend, Carly, and I were driving home from a basketball game one night. We lived in a small country town, so once you're out of the downtown area, it's dark country roads with no street lights." I take a deep breath, preparing for the worst part to come. Where she'll see me as someone different. So, I need that one last broadened and innocent smile from her. "Look at me, please."

She peeks up at me, resting her chin on her hand splayed across my heart. If she only knew how it felt, like she contained the power to magically piece it back together. "You really are beautiful." Her hazel eyes light up at my compliment and she tilts her head into my palm.

"Thank you."

I grab the last ounce of strength before I wimp out. "We'd been dating for two years and planned to attend Western together in the fall. The Mill River basketball team had just beaten our nemesis and everyone from our school was on a high. Carly was messing around, unbuckling herself, she kept leaning over the center console, kissing my neck, and grabbing my d.i.c.k. I continued to fight her as I weaved around roads I knew like the back of my hand. There wasn't a curve, or bend I didn't expect." I release a breath and her arms tighten around me again.

"She wouldn't accept no and unzipped my jeans. I figured she was going to jerk me off, but then she leaned down and took me in her mouth." I allow that to sink in before continuing.

When Paige doesn't react, I figure I might as well just let her have it all. "Without going into too much detail, I got distracted and must have closed my eyes because suddenly headlights were shining right into our window. I swerved and over corrected the car, making us skid off the road and right through a fence." Paige takes a deep breath and tries to cover up a gasp. "By the time the car stopped, I had gripped Carly's head so tight into my stomach she was slapping me to let her go. Startled, my hands flew off her and sprung up. The two of us just stared right ahead at a tree five feet in front of us." My heartbeat picks up and Paige nuzzles into my neck, and her hand remains right above my heart. Thank G.o.d for her patience in letting me get this out in pieces.

I swallow and flex my fists open that must have reflexively closed. "At first I forgot about the other car, more worried about Carly and if she was okay. Then it clicked and I threw open my door and fell to my knees. The other car's front end was . . . completely smashed. They must have over-corrected like I did and instead of a tree, they hit a power line pole. I screamed for Carly to call 911 and ran across the dark road. When I reached the dark sedan, I lost all breath and almost collapsed." Paige's head rises up and she stares into my eyes with confusion. "It was Carly's dad slumped over the steering wheel with blood dripping out of his mouth."

"Oh, Rob." Her hand leaves my heart and she kindly brushes it against my head like my mother used to do when I was little and had gotten hurt.

Disregarding her calm demeanor because what else can she say, I killed a man. "I opened the door and felt his wrist but he had no pulse. Right as I went to feel his back for breathing, I heard Carly's footsteps on the pavement and I whipped around to stop her." Carly's screams are still real in my head. Blood curdling roars burst out of her when she recognized the car. "He was dead. I had killed him."

Unable to sit still any further, I gently remove Paige's naked body off of me and swing my feet over the bed, burying my head in my hands. The mattress dips when she rushes over to me, placing her head on my back as her arms squeeze around my middle.

"I can barely piece together the two months after that. At first I was going to jail for reckless driving that turned manslaughter, then I was off because Carly's dad had alcohol in his system, until finally my lawyer came in and said the family wasn't pursuing any charges. From the second her family ran into the Emergency Room that night, Carly was gone. She couldn't face me, couldn't talk to me, and eventually she hopped on a plane to California."

"And you came to Western?" she whispers.

"Yeah, I haven't seen her since the court hearing. She wrote me an email when she left. She said, she couldn't stick around knowing we caused her father's death. That she could never look at me the same way, and love wasn't enough for us anymore." My eyes well up, but I tighten my eyelids to keep them back.

"It wasn't your fault." She's so sweet, telling me what everyone else a.s.sures me of, but that doesn't change my guilt. My constant replay of the events and how I could have done something-anything-different.

"I should have been firmer. I could have slowed down, pulled over."