The Independence of Claire Part 28

Woe betide the mistress who is responsible for that branch! I wouldn't mind prophesying that if the German doesn't come out better than last year, Fraulein will be packed off. I wouldn't be too sure of myself.

I've done all right so far, but the Head is not as devoted to me as she might be. I don't think she'd be sorry to have an excuse for getting rid of me. That's one of the delightful aspects of our position--we are absolutely at the mercy of a woman who, from sheer force of circ.u.mstances, becomes more of an autocrat every year. The Committee listen to her, and accept every word she says; the staff know better than to dispute a single order. We'd stand on our head in rows if she made it a rule! The pupils scuttle like rabbits when they see her coming, and cheer themselves hoa.r.s.e every time she speaks. No human woman can live in that atmosphere for years and keep a cool head!"

"She's rather a dear, though, all the same!" Claire said loyally. She had been hurt by the lack of personal interest which Miss Farnborough showed in the different members of her staff, but she was unwilling to brand her as a heartless tyrant. "Anyway," she added hastily, "you are not satisfied here. If you were going on teaching I should have thought you'd be glad of a change. It would be easy to get another school."

Mary Rhodes looked at her; a long eloquent glance.

"With a good testimonial--yes! Without a good testimonial--no! A testimonial for twelve years' work depends on one woman, remember--on her prejudice or good nature, on the mood in which she happens to be on one particular day. It might read quite differently because she happened to have a chill on her liver."

"My dear! there _is_ a sense of justice! There is such a thing as honesty."

"My dear, I agree. Even so, would you dare to say that the wording of a testimonial would be unaffected by the writer's mood?"

"Surely twelve years in one school--"

"No, it wouldn't! Not necessarily. 'Miss Rhodes has been English Mistress at Saint Cuthbert's for twelve years. Of late has been erratic in temper. Health uncertain. Examination records less satisfactory.'

Well! If you represented another school, would _you_ engage Miss Rhodes?"

Claire was silent. For the first time she realised the danger of this single-handed power. It meant--what might it not mean? It might mean that the mistress who was unfortunate enough to incur the dislike of her chief, might _never_ be able to procure another post! She might be efficient, she might be hard-working; given congenial surroundings she might develop into a treasure untold, yet just because of a depreciating phrase in the wording of a testimonial, no chance would be vouchsafed.

No doubt the vast majority of head mistresses were women of judgment, possessing a keen sense of justice and responsibility, yet the fact remained that a hasty impulse, a little access of temper in penning those all-important lines, might mean the end of a career, might mean poverty, might mean ruin!

Claire shivered, looked across the table at the thin, fretted face and made a hesitating appeal--

"Cecil dear, I know you are a good teacher. I just love to hear you talking over your lessons, but you _are_ irritable! One of my girls was crying the other day. You had given so much homework, and she didn't understand what was to be done, and said she daren't ask. You had been 'so cross!' I made a guess at what you wanted, and by good chance I was right; but if I'd been wrong, the poor thing would have been in disgrace, and honestly it wasn't her fault! She was willing enough."

"Oh, that imbecile Gladys Brown! I know what you mean. I'd explained it a hundred times. If she'd the brains of a cow she'd have understood.

No wonder I was cross. I should have been a saint if I wasn't, and no one can be a saint in the summer term. Did--did any one else see her cry?"

"I think not. No, I managed to comfort her; but if Miss Farnborough had happened to come in just at that moment--"

Cecil shrugged and turned the subject, but she took the hint, to the benefit of her pupils during the next few weeks.

July came in, and with it a spell of unbearable heat. In country places and by the seash.o.r.e there was s.p.a.ce and air, and clean fragrant surroundings; but over London hung a misty pall, and not a branch of the dusty trees quivered to the movement of a pa.s.sing breeze. It was a thunderous, unnatural heat which sapped every sc.r.a.p of vitality, and made every movement a dread.

Claire was horrified at the effect of this heat wave on Sophie Blake.

In superficial fashion she had always believed that rheumatism must be better in hot weather; but, according to the specialist, such heat as this was more trying than damp or cold, and Sophie's stiffness increased with alarming suddenness.

There came a day when by no effort of will could she get through her cla.s.ses, when sheer necessity drove her to do the thing she had dreaded most of all--inform the Head that she could not go on with her work.

Miss Farnborough was seated in her private room, and listened with grave attention to what the Games mistress had to say. Her forehead puckered in surprise as she noted Sophie's halting gait, and the while she listened, her keen brain was diving back into the past, collecting impressions. She had seen less than usual of Miss Blake during the term; once or twice she had received the impression that Miss Blake avoided her approach; Miss Blake had been looking pale. She waited until Sophie had finished speaking, her hands folded on her knee, her penetrating eye fixed on the girl's face. Then she spoke--

"I am sorry to hear this, Miss Blake. Your work has been excellent hitherto, but rheumatism is a serious handicap. You say that this heat is responsible for the present attack? Am I to understand that it is a first attack--that you have had no threatening before?"

"I have been rheumatic all winter, more or less. Before the Easter holidays it was pretty bad. I began to feel stiff."

Miss Farnborough repeated the word gravely.

"Stiff! That was bad; that was very bad! How could you take your cla.s.ses if you were feeling stiff?"

"I managed somehow!" Sophie said.

For a moment she had imagined that the Head Mistress's concern had been on her account; she believed it no longer when she saw the flash of indignation which lighted the grey eyes.

"Managed--_somehow_? And you went on in that fashion--you were content to go on!"

"No. I was not content. I was very far from content. I suffered horrible pain. I went to a specialist and paid him two guineas for his advice. Since then I have paid twenty pounds for treatment."

On Miss Farnborough's face the disapproval grew more and more p.r.o.nounced.

"Miss Blake, I am afraid you have not been quite straightforward in this matter. It appears that you have been ill for months, with an illness which must necessarily have interfered with your work, and this is the first time I hear about it. I am Head Mistress of this school; if anything is wrong with a member of the staff, it is her first duty to come to me. You tell me now that you have been ill for three months, since before the last holidays, and acknowledge that you can go on no longer."

"In ten days we break up. I ask you to allow me ten extra days. The weather is so hot that the girls would be thankful to escape the exercises. By the end of the holidays I hope to be quite better."

"The Easter holidays do not seem to have done you much good," Miss Farnborough said cruelly. Then, seeing the girl flush, she added, "Of course you shall have your ten days. I can see that you are unfit for work, and we must manage without you till the end of the term. I am very sorry for you, Miss Blake; very sorry, indeed. It is very trying and upsetting and--and expensive into the bargain. Twenty pounds, did you say? That is surely a great deal! Have you tried the shilling bottles of gout and rheumatic pills? I have been told they are quite excellent. But I must repeat that you have been wrong in not coming to me sooner. As a pure matter of honesty, do you think that you were justified in continuing to take cla.s.ses for which you were unfit?"

The tears started to Sophie's eyes; she lowered her lids to hide them from sight.

"The girls did not suffer," she said deeply. "I did the suffering!"

Miss Farnborough moved impatiently. She was intensely practical and matter-of-fact, and with all her heart hated any approach to sentiment.

"You suffered _because_ you were unfit," she repeated coldly, "and your obvious duty was to come to me. You must have known that under the circ.u.mstances I should not have wished you to continue the cla.s.ses!"

Sophie was silent for a moment, then she said very quietly, very deliberately--

"Yes, I did know; but I also knew that if I could nerve myself to bear the pain and the fatigue, I _could_ train the girls as well as ever, and I knew, too, that if you sent me away in the middle of term you would be less likely to take me back. It means everything to me, you see. What would happen to me if I were permanently invalided--without a pension-- at thirty-one?"

"You have been paid a good salary, Miss Blake--an exceptionally good salary--because it is realised that your work is especially wearing.

You ought to have saved--"

"If I had had no home claims I might have been able to save one or two hundred pounds--not a very big life provision! As it happens, however, I have given thirty pounds a year towards the education of a young sister, and it has been impossible to save at all."

"But now, of course, your sister will help _you_," Miss Farnborough said, and turned briskly to another topic. "You said that you have been to a specialist? Will you give me his address? I should like to communicate with him direct. You understand, Miss Blake, that if this stiffness continues, it will be impossible for you to continue your duties here?"

"Quite impossible," faltered Sophie, in low tones.

Miss Farnborough pushed back her chair, and rose to her feet.

"But one hopes, of course, that all may go well. I have never had any complaint to make with respect to your work. You have been very successful, very popular with the girls. I should be sorry to lose you.

Be sure to let me know how you go on. Perhaps I had better be guided by Dr Blank. I should try the pills, I think; they are worth trying.

And avoid the sea; sea air is bad for rheumatism. Try some high inland place. We had better say good-bye, now, I suppose, as you will not come back after to-night. Good-bye, my dear. Let me hear soon. All good wishes for your recovery."

Sophie left the room, and made her way upstairs to the Staff-Room. She moved very slowly, partly because every movement was an effort, partly because the familiar objects on which her eyes rested became suddenly instinct with new interest. For ten long working years she had pa.s.sed them daily with indifference, but this afternoon it was borne in upon her that she would never see them again, and the conviction brought with it a bitter pang. After all, they had been happy years, spent in a bustle of youthful life and energy, in an atmosphere of affection, too, for the girls were warm-hearted, and the "Gym. mistress" had been universally popular. Even as the thought pa.s.sed through Sophie's mind, one of her special adorers appeared suddenly at the far end of the corridor and hurried forward to meet her.

"Miss Blake! Darling! You look so white. Are you faint? Take my arm; lean on me. Were you going to lie down?"

"I'm going to the Staff-Room. I can manage myself; but, Gladys, find Miss Gifford, and ask her to come to me as soon as she is free. Tell her I'm not well. You're a dear girl, Gladys. Thank you for being so kind to me all these years."

Gladys rolled adoring blue eyes, and sped on her mission. The next morning she realised that those thanks had been darling Miss Blake's farewell, and shed bitter tears; but for the moment she was filled with complaisance.