The Idler in France Part 12

"I came from the country, Mesdames, with no inconsiderable claims to distinction in my profession. I had studied it _con amore_, and, urged by the desire that continually haunted me of becoming a benefactor to mankind--ay! ladies, and still more anxious to relieve your fair and gentle s.e.x from those ills to which the delicacy of your frames and the sensibility of your minds so peculiarly expose you--I came to Paris with little money and few friends, and those few possessed no power to forward my interest.

"It is true they recommended me to such of their acquaintance as needed advice; but whether, owing to the season being a peculiarly healthy one, or that the acquaintances of my friends enjoyed an unusual portion of good health, I was seldom called on to attend them; and, when I was, the remuneration offered was proportioned, not to the relief afforded, but to the want of fame of him who lent it.

"My purse diminished even more rapidly than my hopes, though they, too, began to fade; and it was with a heavy heart that I look my pen to write home to those dear friends who believed that Paris was a second _El Dorado_, where all who sought--must find--Fortune.

"At length, when one night stretched on my humble bed, and sleepless from the cares that pressed heavily on my mind, it occurred to me that I must put some plan into action for getting myself known; and one suggested itself, which I next day adopted.

"I changed one of the few remaining _louis d'or_ in my purse, and, sallying forth into one of the most popular streets, I wrote down the addresses of some of the most respectable-looking houses, and going up to a porter, desired him to knock at the doors named, and inquire if the celebrated Doctor P---- was there, as his presence was immediately required at the hotel of the Duc de ----.

"I despatched no less than twenty messengers through the different streets on the same errand, and having succeeded in persuading each that it was of the utmost importance that the celebrated Doctor P---- should be found, they persuaded the owners of the houses of the same necessity.

"I persevered in this system for a few days, and then tried its efficacy at night, thinking that, when knocked up from their beds, people would be sure to be more impressed with the importance of a doctor in such general request.

"My scheme succeeded. In a few days, I was repeatedly called in by various patients, and liberal fees poured into the purse of the celebrated Dr. P----. Unfortunately my practice, although every day multiplying even beyond my most sanguine hopes, was entirely confined to the _bourgeoisie_; and though they paid well, my ambition pointed to higher game, and I longed to feel the pulses of _la haute n.o.blesse_, and to ascertain if the fine porcelain of which I had heard they were formed was indeed as much superior to the delf of which the _bourgeoisie_ are said to be manufactured, as I was led to believe.

"Luckily for me, the _femme de chambre_ of a grand lady fancied herself ill, mentioned the fancy to her friend, who was one of my patients, and who instantly advised her to consult the _celebrated_ Dr. P----, adding a lively account of the extent of my practice and the great request I was in.

"The _femme de chambre_ consulted me, described symptoms enough to baffle all the schools of medicine in France, so various and contradictory were they, and I, discovering that she really had nothing the matter with her, advised what I knew would be very palatable to her,--namely, a very nutritious _regime_, as much air and amus.e.m.e.nt as was possible in her position, and gave her a prescription for some gentle medicine, to prevent any evil effect from the luxurious fare I had recommended.

"I was half tempted to refuse the fee she slipped into my hand, but I recollected that people never value what they get for nothing, and so I pocketed it.

"In a few days, I was sent for to the Hotel--to attend the d.u.c.h.esse de ---- the mistress of the said _femme de chambre_.

This was an event beyond my hopes, and I determined to profit by it. I found the d.u.c.h.esse suffering under a malady--if malady it could be called--to which I have since discovered grand ladies are peculiarly subject; namely, a superfluity of _embonpoint_, occasioned by luxurious habits and the want of exercise.

"'I am very much indisposed, Doctor,' lisped the lady, 'and your prescription has done my _femme de chambre_ so much good, that I determined to send for you. I am so very ill, that I am fast losing my shape; my face, too, is no longer the same; and my feet and hands are not to be recognised.'

"I drew out my watch, felt her pulse, looked grave, inquired--though it was useless, her _embonpoint_ having revealed it--what were her general habits and _regime_; and then, having written a prescription, urged the necessity of her abandoning _cafe au lait_, rich _consommes_, and high-seasoned _entrees_; recommended early rising and constant exercise; and promised that a strict attention to my advice would soon restore her health, and with it her shape.

"I was told to call every day until further orders; and I, pleading the excess of occupation which would render my daily visits to her so difficult, consented to make them, only on condition that my fair patient was to walk with me every day six times around the garden of her hotel; for I guessed she was too indolent to persevere in taking exercise if left to herself.

"The system I pursued with her succeeded perfectly. I was then a very active man, and I walked so fast that I left the d.u.c.h.esse every day when our promenade ended bathed in a copious perspiration; which, aided by the medicine and sparing _regime_, soon restored her figure to its former symmetry.

"At her hotel, I daily met ladies of the highest rank and distinction, many of whom were suffering from a similar cause, the same annoyance for which the d.u.c.h.esse consulted me; and I then discovered that there is no malady, however grave, so distressing to your s.e.x, ladies, or for the cure of which they are so willing to submit to the most disagreeable _regime_, as for aught that impairs their personal beauty.

"When her female friends saw the improvement effected in the appearance of the d.u.c.h.esse by my treatment, I was consulted by them all, and my fame and fortune rapidly increased. I was proclaimed to be the most wonderful physician, and to have effected the most extraordinary cures; when, in truth, I but consulted Nature, and aided her efforts.

"Shortly after this period, a grand lady, an acquaintance of one of my many patients among the _n.o.blesse_, consulted me; and here the case was wholly different to that of the d.u.c.h.esse, for this lady had grown so thin, that wrinkles--those most frightful of all symptoms of decaying beauty--had made their appearance. My new patient told me that, hearing that hitherto my great celebrity had been acquired by the cure of obesity, she feared it was useless to consult me for a disease of so opposite a nature, but even still more distressing.

"I inquired into her habits and _regime_. Found that she took violent exercise; was abstemious at table; drank strong green tea, and coffee without cream or milk; disliked nutritious food; and, though she sat up late, was an early riser. I ordered her the frequent use of warm baths, and to take all that I had prohibited the d.u.c.h.esse; permitted only gentle exercise in a carriage; and, in short, soon succeeded in rendering the thin lady plump and rosy, to the great joy of herself, and the wonder of her friends.

"This treatment, which was only what any one possessed of common sense would have prescribed in such a case, extended my fame far and wide. Fat and thin ladies flocked to me for advice, and not only liberally rewarded the success of my system, but sounded my praises in all quarters.

"I became the doctor _a la mode_, soon ama.s.sed an independence, and, though not without a confidence in my own skill--for I have never lost any opportunity of improvement in my profession--I must confess that I still retain the conviction that the celebrated Doctor P---- would have had little chance, at least for many years, of acquiring either fame or wealth, had he not employed the means I have confessed to you, ladies."

I cannot do justice to this _spirituel_ old man's mode of telling the story, or describe the finesse of his arch smile while recounting it.

Mr. P.C. Scarlett, a son of our excellent and valued friend Sir James Scarlett[3], dined here yesterday. He is a fine young man, clever, well-informed, and amiable, with the same benignant countenance and urbanity of manner that are so remarkable in his father.

I remember how much struck I was with Sir James Scarlett's countenance when he was first presented to me. It has in it such a happy mixture of sparkling intelligence and good-nature that I was immediately pleased with him, even before I had an opportunity of knowing the rare and excellent qualities for which he is distinguished, and the treasures of knowledge with which his mind is stored.

I have seldom met any man so well versed in literature as Sir James Scarlett, or with a more refined taste for it; and when one reflects on the arduous duties of his profession--duties which he has ever fulfilled with such credit to himself and advantage to others--it seems little short of miraculous how he could have found time to have made himself so intimately acquainted, not only with the cla.s.sics, but with all the elegant literature of England and France.

How many pleasant days have I pa.s.sed in the society of Lord Erskine and Sir James Scarlett! Poor Lord Erskine! never more shall I hear your eloquent tongue utter _bons mots_ in which wit sparkled, but ill-nature never appeared; nor see your luminous eyes flashing with joyousness, as when, surrounded by friends at the festive board, you rendered the banquet indeed "the feast of reason and the flow of soul!"

Mr. H---- B---- dined here yesterday, and he talked over the pleasant days we had pa.s.sed in Italy. He is an excellent specimen of the young men of the present day. Well-informed, and with a mind highly cultivated, he has travelled much in other countries, without losing any of the good qualities and habits peculiar to his own.

Went to the Theatre Italien, last night, and heard Madame Malibran sing for the first time. Her personation of "Desdemona" is exquisite, and the thrilling tones of her voice were in perfect harmony with the deep sensibility she evinced in every look and movement.

I have heard no singer to please me comparable to Malibran: there is something positively electrical in the effect she produces on my feelings. Her acting is as original as it is effective; Pa.s.sion and Nature are her guides, and she abandons herself to them _con amore_.

The only defect I can discover in her singing is an excess of _fiorituri_, that sometimes destroys the _vraisemblance_ of the _role_ she is enacting, and makes one think more of the wonderful singer than of "Desdemona." This defect, however, is atoned for by the bursts of pa.s.sion into which her powerful voice breaks when some deep emotion is to be expressed, and the accomplished singer is forgotten in the impa.s.sioned "Desdemona."

Spent last evening at Madame C----'s, and met there la Duchcsse de la Force, la Marquise de Brehan, and the usual _habitues de la maison_. La d.u.c.h.esse is one of _l'ancien regime_, though less ceremonious than they are in general said to be, and appears to be as good-natured as she is good-humoured.

The Marquise de B---- told me some amusing anecdotes of the Imperial Court, and of the gaiety and love of dress of the beautiful Princesse Pauline Borghese, to whom she was much attached.

The whole of the Buonaparte family seem to have possessed, in an eminent degree, the happy art of conciliating good-will in those around them--an art necessary in all persons filling elevated positions, but doubly so in those who have achieved their own elevation. The family of the Emperor Napoleon were remarkable for the kindness and consideration they invariably evinced for those who in any way depended on them, yet a natural dignity of manner precluded the possibility of familiarity.

The Marquise de B---- having mentioned the d.u.c.h.esse d'Abrantes, Madame C---- inquired kindly for her, and the Marquise told her that she had been only a few days before to pay her a visit.

Anxious to learn something of a woman who filled so distinguished a position during the imperial dynasty, I questioned Madame de B----, and learned that the d.u.c.h.esse d'Abrantes, who for many years lived in a style of splendour that, even in the palmy days of her husband's prosperity, when, governor of Paris, he supported almost a regal establishment, excited the surprise, if not envy, of his contemporaries, is now reduced to so limited an income that many of the comforts, if not the necessaries of life, are denied her.

"She supports her privations cheerfully," added the Marquise; "her conversation abounds in anecdotes of remarkable people, and she relates them with a vivacity and piquancy peculiar to her, which render her society very amusing and interesting. The humanity, if not the policy, of the Bourbons may be questioned in their leaving the widow of a brave general in a state of poverty that must remind her, with bitterness, of the altered fortunes entailed on her and many others by their restoration."

When indemnities were granted to those whom the Revolution, which drove the royal family from France, nearly beggared, it would have been well if a modest competency had been a.s.signed to those whose sons and husbands shed their blood for their country, and helped to achieve for it that military glory which none can deny it.

Went over the Luxembourg Palace and Gardens to-day. The only change in the former since I last saw it, is that some pictures, painted by French artists at Rome, and very creditable to them, have been added to its collection.

I like these old gardens, with their formal walks and prim _parterres_; I like also the company by which they are chiefly frequented, consisting of old people and young children.

Along the walk exposed to the southern aspect, several groups of old men were sauntering, conversing with an animation seldom seen in s.e.xagenarians, except in France; old women, too, many of them holding lapdogs by a riband, and attended by a female servant, were taking their daily walk; while, occasionally, might be seen an elderly couple exhibiting towards each other an a.s.siduity pleasant to behold, displayed by the husband's arranging the shawl or cloak of his wife, or the wife gently brushing away with her glove the silken threads left on his sleeve by its contact with hers.

No little portion of the love that united them in youth may still be witnessed in these old couples. Each has lost every trace of the comeliness that first attracted them to each other; but they remember what they were, and memory, gilding the past, shews each to the other, not as they actually are, but as they were many a long year ago. No face, however fair,--not even the blooming one of their favourite granddaughter, seems so lovely to the uxorious old husband as the one he remembers to have been so proud of forty years ago, and which still beams on him with an expression of tenderness that reminds him of its former beauty. And she, too, with what complacency does she listen to his oft-repealed reminiscences of her youthful attractions, and how dear is the bond that still unites them!

Plain and uninteresting in the eyes of others, they present only the aspect of age; alas! never lovely: but in them at least other gleams of past good looks recall the past, when each considered the other peerless, though now they alone remember that "such things were, and were most sweet."

Their youth and their maturity have been pa.s.sed together; their joys and their sorrows have been shared, and they are advancing hand in hand towards that rapid descent in the mountain of life, at whose base is the grave, hoping that in death they may not be divided.

Who can look at those old couples, and not feel impressed with the sanct.i.ty and blessedness of marriage, which, binding two destinies in one, giving the same interests and the same objects of affection to both, secures for each a companionship and a consolation for those days which must come to all, when, fallen into the sere and yellow leaf, the society of the young and gay can no longer charm them, and the present requires the recollections of the past to render it less cheerless; recollections only to be found in those who have grown old together?

Yonder old man, leaning on the arm of a middle-aged woman, who seems less like his housekeeper than his domestic tyrant, offers an example of the fate of those who have lived in what is commonly called a state of single blessedness. A youth and maturity of pleasure have been followed by an old age of infirmity.

He had a thousand pleasantries ready to utter on the subject of marriage whenever it was mentioned; could cite endless examples of unhappy couples (forgetting to name a single one of the happy); and laughed and shook his head as he declared that _he_ never would be caught.

As long as health remained, and that he could pa.s.s his evenings in gay society, or at the theatres, he felt not the want of that greatest of all comforts, _home_; a comfort inseparable from a wife to share, as well as to make it. But the first attack of illness that confined him to his room, with no tender hand to smooth his pillow, no gentle voice to inquire into his wants, or to minister to them; no one to antic.i.p.ate his wishes almost before he had framed them; no loving face to look fondly and anxiously on him; made him feel sensible, that though a bachelor's life of pleasure may pa.s.s agreeably enough during the season of health, it is a most cheerless and dreary state of existence when deprived of it.

The discovery is, alas! made too late. All that he had ever heard or urged against matrimony applies tenfold to cases where it is contracted in old age. He can still admire youth and beauty, but he knows that with such there can never exist any reciprocity with his own feelings.

The young beauty who would barter her charms for his wealth, would be, he knows, no suitable companion for his fire-side; and to wed some staid dame whose youth has been pa.s.sed with some dear, kind, first husband--of whom, if not often speaking, she might in all human probability be sometimes thinking--has something too repugnant to his feelings to be thought of.