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He was not such a fatuous a.s.s as to have mistaken Helen's frank _camaraderie_, her bright interest in things, her charming little ways of showing cousinly regard, for some deeper, more personal feeling? She had been divinely kind, but that was just her--just the outcome of her delightful nature. She would go away on Friday--Sat.u.r.day perhaps--he rather hoped Sat.u.r.day--and be just as divinely kind to other people.
And then he shook himself, feeling the languid weight of her hands on his shoulders again. Would she--would--? For an instant he wanted to get at, and incontinently brain, those other people. After which, Richard mentally took himself by the throat and proceeded to choke the folly out of himself. Yes, she would go back to all those other people, back moreover to the Vicomte de Vallorbes--whom, by the way, it occurred to him she so seldom mentioned. Well, we don't continually talk about the people we love best, do we, to comparative strangers?
She would go back to her husband--her husband.--Richard repeated the words over to himself sternly, trying to drive them home, to burn them into his consciousness past all possibility of forgetting.
Anyhow, she had been wonderfully sweet and charming to him. She had shown him--quite unconsciously, of course--what life might be for--for somebody else. She had revealed to him--what indeed had she not revealed! He remembered the spirit of expectation that possessed him riding back through the autumn woods the day he first met her. The expectation had been more than justified by the sequel. Only--only--and then d.i.c.k became stern with himself again. For, she having, unconsciously, done so much for him, was it not his first duty never to distress her?--never to let her know how much deeper it had all gone with him than with her?--never to insult her beautiful innocence by a word or look suggesting an affection less frank and cousinly than her own?
Only, since even our strongest purposes have moments of lapse and weakness in execution, it would be safer, perhaps, not to be much alone with her--since she didn't know--how should she? Yes, Richard agreed with himself not to loaf, to allow no idle hours. He would ride, he would see to business. There were a whole heap of estate matters claiming attention. He had neglected them shamefully of late.
Unquestionably Helen counted for very much, would continue to do so. He supposed he would carry the ache of certain memories about with him henceforth and forever. She had become part of the very fibre of his life. He never doubted that. And yet, he told himself--a.s.suming a second-hand garment of slightly cynical philosophy which suited singularly ill with the love-light in his eyes, there radiantly apparent for all the world to see--that woman, even the one who first shows you you have a heart--and a body too, worse luck--even she is but a drop in the vast ocean of things. There remains all The Rest. And with praiseworthy diligence d.i.c.kie set himself to reckon how immensely much all The Rest amounts to. There is plenty, exclusive of her, to think about. More than enough, indeed, to keep one hard at work all day, and send one to bed honestly tired, to sleeping-point, at night.
Politics for instance, science, literature, entertaining little controversial rows of sorts--the simple, almost patriarchal duties of a great land-owner; pleasant hobbies such as the collection of first editions, or a pretty taste in the binding of favourite books--the observation of this mysterious, ever young, ever fertile nature around him now, immutable order underlaying ceaseless change, the ever new wonder and beauty of all that, and:--"I say, Chifney, isn't the brown Lady-Love filly going rather short on the off foreleg? Anything wrong with her shoulder?"--and sport. Yes, thank G.o.d, in the name of everything healthy and virile, sport and, above all, horses--yes, horses.
Thus did Richard Calmady reason with and essay to solace himself for the fact that some fruits are forbidden to him who holds honour dear.
Reasoned with and solaced himself to such good purpose, as he fondly imagined, that when, an hour and a half later, he established himself in the trainer's dining-room, a mighty breakfast outspread before him, he felt quite another man. Racing cups adorned the chimneypiece and sideboard, portraits of race-horses and jockeys adorned the walls. The sun streamed in between the red rep curtains, causing the pot-plants in the window to give off a pleasant scent, and the canary, in his swinging blue and white painted cage above them, to sing. Mrs. Chifney, her cheeks pink, her manner slightly fluttered,--as were her lilac cap strings,--presided over the silver tea and coffee service, admonished the staid and bulky tom-cat who, jumping on the arm of d.i.c.kie's chair, extended a scooping tentative paw towards his plate, and issued gentle though peremptory orders to her husband regarding the material needs of her guest. To Mrs. Chifney such entertainings as the present marked the red-letter days of her calendar. Temporarily she forgave Chifney the doubtful nature of his calling and his occasional outbreaks of profane swearing alike. She ceased to regret that snug might-have-been, little, grocery business in a country town. She forgot even to hanker after prayer meetings, anniversary teas, and other mild, soul-saving dissipations unauthorised by the Church of England. She ruffled her feathers, so to speak, and cooed to the young man half in feudal, half in unsatisfied maternal affection--for Mrs. Chifney was childless. And it followed that as he teased her a little, going back banteringly on certain accepted subjects of difference between them, praised, and made a hole, in her fresh-baked rolls, her nicely browned, fried potatoes, her clear, crinkled rashers, a.s.suring her it gave one an appet.i.te merely to sit down in a room so shiningly clean and spick and span, she was supremely happy. And d.i.c.kie was happy too, and blessed the exercise, the food, and the society of these simple persons, which, after his evil night, seemed to have restored to him his wiser and better self.
"He always was the n.o.blest looking young gentleman I ever saw," Mrs.
Chifney remarked subsequently to her husband. "But here at breakfast this morning, when he said, 'If you won't be shocked, Mrs. Chifney, I believe I could manage a second helping of that game pie,' his face was like a very angel's from heaven. Unearthly beautiful, Thomas, and yet a sort of pain at the back of it. It gave me a regular turn. I had to shed a few tears afterwards when I got alone by myself."
"You're one of those that see more than's there, half your time, Maria," the trainer answered, with an unusual effort at sarcasm, for he was not wholly easy about the young man himself.--"There's something up with him, and danged if I know what it is." But these reflections he kept to himself.
Dr. Knott, later that same day, made reflections of a similar nature.
For though d.i.c.kie adhered valiantly to his good resolutions--going out with the second lot of horses between ten and eleven o'clock, riding on to Banister's farm to inspect the new barn and cowsheds in course of erection, then hurrying down to Sandyfield Street and listening to long and heated arguments regarding a right-of-way reported to exist across the meadows skirting the river just above the bridge, a right strongly denied by the present occupier. Notwithstanding these improving and public-spirited employments, the love-light grew in his eyes all through the long morning, causing his appearance to have something, if not actually angelic, yet singularly engaging, about it. For, unquestionably, next to a fortunate attachment, an unfortunate one, if honest, is among the most inspiring and grace-begetting of possessions granted to mortals. Helen must never know--that was well understood.
Yet the more d.i.c.kie thought the whole affair over, the more he recognised the fine romance of thus cherishing a silent and secret devotion. He was very young in this line as yet, it may be observed.
Meanwhile it was nearly two o'clock. He would need to ride home sharply if he was to be in time for luncheon. And at luncheon he would meet her. And remembering that, his heart--traitorous heart--beat quick, and his lips--traitorous lips--began to repeat her name. Thus do the G.o.ds of life and death love to play chuck-farthing with the wise purposes of men, the theory of the eternal laughter having a root of truth in it, as it would seem, after all! And there ahead of him, under the shifting, dappled shadow of the overarching firs, Dr. Knott's broad, c.u.mbersome back, and high, two-wheeled trap blocked the road, while Timothy, the old groom,--stiff-kneed now and none too active,--slowly pushed open the heavy, white gate of the inner park.
As Richard rode up, the doctor turned in his seat and looked at him from under his rough eyebrows, while his loose lips worked into a half-ironical smile. He loved this lad of great fortune, and great misfortune, more tenderly than he quite cared to own. Then, as d.i.c.k checked his horse beside the cart, he growled out:--
"No need to make anxious inquiries regarding your health, young sir.
What have you been doing with yourself, eh? You look as fit as a fiddle and as fresh as paint."
"If I look as I feel I must look ravenously hungry," Richard answered, flushing up a little. "I've been out since six."
"Had some breakfast?"
"Oh dear, yes! Enough to teach one to know what a jolly thing a good meal is, and make one wish for another."
"Hum!" Dr. Knott said. "That's a healthy state of affairs, anyhow.
Young horses going well?"
"Famously."
"Bless me, everything's beer and skittles with you just at present then!"
Richard looked away down the smooth yellow road whereon the dappled shadows kissed and mingled, mingled and kissed, and his heart cried "Helen, Helen," once again.
"Oh! I don't know about that," he said. "I get my share as well as the rest I suppose--at least--anyway the horses are doing capitally this season."
"I should like to have a look at them."
"Oh, well you've only got to say when, you know. I shall be only too delighted to show them you."
As he walked the trap through the gateway, Dr. Knott watched Richard riding alongside.--"What's up with the boy," he thought. "His face is as keen as a knife, and as soft as--G.o.d help us, I hope there's no sweethearting on hand! It's bound to come sooner or later, but the later the better, for it'll be a risky enough set out, come when it may.--Ah, look out there now, you old fool,"--this to Timothy,--"don't go missing the step and laying yourself up with broken ribs for another three months, just when my work's at its heaviest. Be careful, can't you?"
"But why not come in to luncheon now?" Richard said, wisdom whipping up good resolutions once more, and bidding him check the gladness that gained on him at thought of that approaching meeting. Oh yes! he would be discreet, he would erect barriers, he would flee temptation. Knott's presence offered a finely rugged barrier, surely. Therefore, he repeated, "Come in now. My mother will be delighted to see you, and we can have a look round the stables afterwards."
"I'll come fast enough if Lady Calmady will take me as I am. Workaday clothes, and second best lot at that. You're alone, I suppose?"
He watched the young man as he spoke. Noted the lift of his chin, and the slightly studied indifference of his manner.
"No, for once we're not. But that doesn't matter. My Uncle William Ormiston is with us. You remember him?"
"I remember his wife."
"Oh! she's not here," d.i.c.kie said. "Only he and his daughter, Madame de Vallorbes. You'll come?"
"Oh! dear yes, I'll come, if you'll be good enough to prepare your ladies for a rough-looking customer. Don't let me keep you. Wonder what the daughter's like?" he added to himself. "The mother was a bit of a baggage."
CHAPTER VII
WHEREIN THE READER IS COURTEOUSLY INVITED TO IMPROVE HIS ACQUAINTANCE WITH CERTAIN PERSONS OF QUALITY
But Richard might have spared himself the trouble of erecting barriers against too intimate intercourse with his cousin. Providence, awaking suddenly as it would seem, to the perils of his position, had already seen to all that. For since he went forth, hot-eyed and hot-headed, into the blank chill of the fog, the company at Brockhurst--as Powell announced to him--had suffered large and unlooked-for increase. Ludovic Quayle was the first of the self-invited guests to appear when Richard was settled in the dining-room. He sauntered up to the head of the table with his accustomed air of slightly supercilious inquiry, as of one who expects to meet little save fools and foolishness, yet suffers these gladly, being quite secure of his own wisdom.
"How are you, d.i.c.kie?" he said. "Fairly robust I hope, for the Philistines are upon you. Still it might have been worse. I have done what I could. My father, who has never grasped that there is an element of comedy in the numerical strength of his family, wished to bring us over a party of eight. But I stopped that. Four, as I tried to make him comprehend, touched the limits of social decency. He didn't comprehend.
He rarely does. But he yielded, which was more to the point perhaps.
Understand though, we didn't propose to add surprise to the other doubtful blessings of our descent on you. I wrote to you yesterday, but it appears you went out at some unearthly hour this morning superior alike to the state of the weather and arrival of your letters."
"Fine thing going out early---excellent thing going out early. Very glad to see you, Calmady, and very kind indeed of you and Lady Calmady to take us in in this friendly way and show us hospitality at such short notice----"
This from Lord Fallowfeild--a remarkably tall, large, and handsome person. He affected a slightly antiquated style of dress, with a sporting turn to it,--coats of dust colour or gray, notably long as to the skirts, well fitted at the waist, the surface of them traversed by heavy seams. His double chin rested within the points of a high, white collar, and was further supported by voluminous, black, satin stock.
His face, set in soft, gray hair and gray whisker, brushed well forward, suggested that of a benign and healthy infant--an infant, it may be added, possessed of a small and particularly pretty mouth. Save in actual stature, indeed, his lordship had never quite succeeded in growing up. Very full of the milk of human kindness, he earnestly wished his fellow-creatures--gentle and simple alike--to be as contented and happy as he, almost invariably, himself was. When he had reason to believe them otherwise, it perplexed and worried him greatly.
It followed that he was embarra.s.sed, apologetic even, in Richard Calmady's presence. He felt vaguely responsible as for some neglected duty, as though there was something somehow which he ought to set right. And this feeling hara.s.sed him, increasing the natural discursiveness and inconsequence of his speech. He was so terribly nervous of forgetting and of hurting the young man's feelings by saying the wrong thing, that all possible wrong things got upon his brain, with the disastrous result that of course he ended by saying them. In face of a person so sadly stationary as poor d.i.c.k, moreover, his own perfect ability to move freely about appeared to him as little short of discourteous, not to say coa.r.s.e. He, therefore, tried to keep very still, with the consequence that he developed an inordinate tendency to fidget. Altogether Lord Fallowfeild did not show to advantage in Richard Calmady's company.
"Ah, yes! fine thing going out early," he repeated. "Always made a practice of it myself at your age, Calmady. Can't stand doctor's stuff, don't believe in it, never did. Though I like Knott, good fellow Knott--always have liked Knott. But never was a believer in drugs.
Nothing better than a good sharp walk, now, early, really early before the frost's out of the gra.s.s. Excellent for the liver walking----"
Here, perceiving that his son Ludovic looked very hard at him, eyebrows raised to most admonitory height, he added hastily--
"Eh?--yes, of course, or riding. Riding, nothing like that for health--better exercise still----"
"Is it?" Richard put in. He was too busy with his own thoughts to be greatly affected by Lord Fallowfeild's blunders just then. "I'm glad to know you think so. You see it's a matter in which I'm not very much of a judge."
"No--no--of course not.--Queer fellow Calmady," Lord Fallowfeild added to himself. "Uncommonly sharp way he has of setting you down."
But just then, to his relief, Lady Calmady, Lady Louisa Barking, and pretty, little Lady Constance Quayle entered the room together. Mr.
Ormiston and John Knott followed engaged in close conversation, the rugged, rough-hewn aspect of the latter presenting a strong contrast to the thin, tall figure and face, white and refined to the point of emaciation, of the diplomatist. Julius March, accompanied by Camp--still carrying his tail limp and his great head rather sulkily--brought up the rear. And d.i.c.kie, while greeting his guests, disposing their places at table, making civil speeches to his immediate neighbour on the left,--Lady Louisa,--smiling a good-morning to his mother down the length of the table, felt a wave of childish disappointment sweep over him. For Helen came not, and with a great desiring he desired her. Poor d.i.c.kie, so wise, so philosophic in fancy, so enviably, disastrously young in fact!
"Oh! thanks, Lady Louisa--it's so extremely kind of you to care to come. The fog was rather beastly this morning wasn't it? And I shouldn't be surprised if it came down on us again about sunset. But it's a charming day meanwhile.--There Ludovic please,--next Dr. Knott.