The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The Donagh Part 2

"TO SCHOOLMASTERS.'

"Take Notes--That any Schoolmaster who understands Spellin'

gramatically--Readin' and Writin', in the raal way, accordin' to the Dixonary--Arithmatick, that is to say, the five common rules, namely, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division--and addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, of Dives's denominations.

Also reduction up and down--cross multiplication of coin--the Rule of Three Direck--the Rule of Three in verse--the double Rule of Three--Frackshins taught according to the vulgar and decimatin' method; and must be well practised to tache the Findramore boys how to manage the Scuffle.*

* The Scuffle was an exercise in fractions, ill.u.s.trated by a quarrel between the first four letters of the alphabet, who went to loggerheads about a sugar-plum.

A, for instance, seized upon three-fourths of it; but B snapped two-thirds of what he had got, and put it into his hat; C then knocked off his hat, and as worthy Mr.

Gough says, "to Work they went." After kicking and cuffing each other in prime style, each now losing and again gaining alternately, the question is wound up by requiring the pupil to ascertain what quant.i.ty of the sugar-plum each had at the close.

"N.B. He must be will grounded in _that_. Practis, Discount, and _Rebatin'_. N.B. Must be well grounded in that also.

"Tret and Tare--Fellowship--Allegation--Barther--Rates per Scent--Intherest--Exchange--Prophet in Loss--the Square root--the Kibe Root--Hippothenuse--'Arithmatical and Jommetrical Purgation--Compound Intherest--Loggerheadism--Questions for exercise, and the Conendix to Algibbra. He must also know Jommithry accordin' to Grunther's scale--the Castigation of the Klipsticks--Surveying, and the use of the Jacob-staff.

"N.B. Would get a good dale of Surveyin' to do in the vircinity of Findramore, particularly in _Con-acre_ time. If he know the use of the globe, it would be an accusation. He must also understand the Three Sets of Book-keeping, by single and double entry, particularly Loftus & Company of Paris, their Account of Cash and Company. And above all things, he must know how to tache the _Sarvin' of Ma.s.s_ in Latin, and be able to read Doctor Gallaher's Irish Sarmints, and explain Kolumkill's and Pasterini's Prophecies.

"N.B. If he understands _Cudgel-fencin'_, it would be an accusation also--but mustn't tache us wid a staff that bends in the middle, bekase it breaks one's head across the guard. Any schoolmaster capacious and collified to instruct in the above-mintioned branches, would get a good school in the townland Findramore and its vircinity, be well fed, an'

get the hoith o' good livin' among the farmers, an' would be ped--

"For Book-keepin', the three sets, _a ginny and half_.'

"For Gommethry, &c, _half a qinny a quarther_.

"Arithmatic, _aight and three-hapuns_.

"Readin", Writin', &c, _six Hogs_.

"Given under our hands, this 37th day of June, 18004.

"Larry Dolan.

"d.i.c.k Dolan, his (X) mark.

"Jem Coogan, his (X) mark.

"Brine Murphey.

"Paddy Delany, his (X) mark.

"Jack Traynor.

"Andy Connell.

"Owen Roe O'Neil, his (X) mark."

"N.B. _By making airly application to any of the undher-mintioned, he will hear of further particklers_; and if they find that he will shoot them, he may expect the best o' thratement, an' be well fed among the farmers.*

"N.B. Would get also a good _Night-school_ among the vircinity."

* Nothing can more decidedly prove the singular and extraordinary thirst for education and general knowledge which characterizes the Irish people, than the shifts to which they have often gone in order to gain even a limited portion of instruction. Of this the Irish Night School is a complete ill.u.s.tration. The Night School was always opened either for those of early age, who from their poverty were forced to earn something for their own support during the day; or to a.s.sist their parents; or for grown young men who had never had an opportunity of acquiring education in their youth, but who now devoted a couple of hours during a winter's night, when they could do nothing else, to the acquisition of reading and writing, and sometimes of accounts. I know not how it was, but the Night School boys, although often thrown into the way of temptation, always conducted themselves with singular propriety. Indeed, the fact is, after all, pretty easily accounted for--inasmuch as none but the steadiest, _most_ sensible, and best conducted young men ever attended it.

Having penned the above advertis.e.m.e.nt, it was carefully posted early the next morning on the chapel-doors, with an expectation on the part of the patrons that it would not be wholly fruitless. The next week, however, pa.s.sed without an application--the second also--and the third produced the same result; nor was there the slightest prospect of a school-master being blown by any wind to the lovers of learning at Findramore. In the meantime, the Ballyscanlan boys took care to keep up the ill-natured prejudice which had been circulated concerning the fatality that uniformly attended such schoolmasters as settled there; and when this came to the ears of the Findramore folk, it was once more resolved that the advertis.e.m.e.nt should be again put up, with a clause containing an explanation on that point. The clause ran as follows:

"N.B.--The two last masthers that was hanged out of Findramore, that is, Mickey Corrigan, who was hanged for killing the Aagent, and Jem Garraghty, that died of a declension--Jem died in consequence of ill-health, and Mickey was hanged contrary to his own wishes; so that it wasn't either of their faults--as witness our hands this 207th of July.

"d.i.c.k Dolan, his (X) mark."

This explanation, however, was as fruitless as the original advertis.e.m.e.nt; and week after week pa.s.sed over without an offer from a single candidate. The "vicinity" of Findramore and its "naborhood"

seemed devoted to ignorance; and nothing remained, except another effort at procuring a master by some more ingenious contrivance.

Debate after debate was consequently held in Barney Brady's; and, until a fresh suggestion was made by Delany, the prospect seemed as bad as ever. Delany, at length fell upon a new plan; and it must be confessed, that it was marked in a peculiar manner by a spirit of great originality and enterprise, it being nothing less than a proposal to carry off, by force or stratagem, Mat Kavanagh, who was at that time fixed in the throne of literature among the Ballyscanlan boys, quite unconscious of the honorable translation to the neighborhood of Findramore which was intended for him. The project, when broached, was certainly a startling one, and drove most of them to a pause, before they were sufficiently collected to give an opinion on its merits.

"Nothin', boys, is asier," said Delaney. "There's to be a patthern in Ballymagowan, on next Sathurday--an' that's jist half way betune ourselves and the Scanlan boys. Let us musther, an' go there, any how.

We can keep an eye on Mat widout much trouble, an' when opportunity sarves, nick him at wanst, an' off wid him clane."

"But," said Traynor, "what would we do wid him when he'd be here?

Wouldn't he cut an' run the first opportunity.

"How can he, ye omadhawn, if we put a manwill* in our pocket, an' sware him? But we'll b.u.t.ther him up when he's among us; or, be me sowks, if it goes that, force him either to settle wid ourselves, or to make himself scarce in the country entirely."

* Manual, a Roman Catholic prayer-book, generally p.r.o.nounced as above.

"Divil a much force it'll take to keep him, I'm thinkin'," observed Murphy. "He'll have three times a betther school here; and if he wanst settled, I'll engage he would take to it kindly."

"See here, boys," says d.i.c.k Dolan, in a whisper, "if that b.l.o.o.d.y villain, Brady, isn't afther standin' this quarter of an hour, strivin'

to hear what we're about; but it's well we didn't bring up anything consarnin' the other business; didn't I tell yees the desate was in 'im?

Look at his shadow on the wall forninst us."

"Hould yer tongues, boys," said Traynor; "jist keep never mindin', and, be me sowks, I'll make him sup sorrow for that thrick."

"You had betther neither make nor meddle wid him," observed Delany, "jist put him out o' that--but don't rise yer hand to him, or he'll sarve you as he did Jem Flannagan: put ye three or four months in the _Stone Jug_" (* Gaol).

Traynor, however, had gone out while he was speaking, and in a few minutes dragged in Brady, whom he caught in the very act of eaves-dropping.

"Jist come in, Brady," said Traynor, as he dragged him along; "walk in, man alive; sure, and sich an honest man as you are needn't be afeard of lookin' his friends in the face! Ho!--an' be me sowl, is it a spy we've got; and, I suppose, would be an informer' too, if he had heard anything to tell!"

"What's the manin' of this, boys?" exclaimed the others, feigning ignorance. "Let the honest man go, Traynor. What do ye hawl him that way for, ye gallis pet'?"

"Honest!" replied Traynor; "how very honest he is, the desavin' villain, to be stand-in' at the windy there, wantin' to overhear the little harmless talk we had."

"Come, Traynor," said Brady, seizing him in his turn by the neck, "take your hands off of me, or, bad fate to me, but I'll lave ye a mark."

Traynor, in his turn, had his hand twisted in Brady's cravat, which he drew tightly about his neck, until the other got nearly black in the face.

"Let me go you villain!" exclaimed Brady, "or, by this blessed night that's in it, it'll be worse for you."

"Villain, is it?" replied Traynor, making a blow at him, whilst Brady s.n.a.t.c.hed, at a penknife, which one of the others had placed on the table, after picking the tobacco out of his pipe--intending either to stab Traynor, or to cut the knot of the cravat by which he was held. The others, however, interfered, and presented further mischief.

"Brady," said Traynor, "you'll rue this night, if ever a man did, you tracherous in-formin' villian. What an honest spy we have among us!--and a short coorse to you!"

"O, hould yer tongue, Traynor!" replied Brady: "I believe it's best known who is both the spy and the informer. The divil a pint of poteen ever you'll run in this parish, until you clear yourself of bringing the gauger on the Tracys, bekase they tuck Mick M'Kew, in preference to yourself, to run it for them."

Traynor made another attempt to strike him, but was prevented. The rest now interfered; and, in the course of an hour or so, an adjustment took place.