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"Good morning, boys. You are getting on finely, eh? When I take hold of you you either die or are better off than you were before anything happened to you. Let's look at you, Bersaglierino. The arm's doing well ... the wound in your head will be healed in ten days or so.
Thank G.o.d that I saved your eye. It was a risk ... we ought to have taken it out if we had followed the usual method.... No, no, I find you in good condition, so good, in fact, that I can tell you a piece of news ... they have recommended you for the silver medal. I believe his Majesty will come in person to pin it on your breast. It would be a real honor for our hospital.
"And you, lad? But really I don't need to bother about you, either.
Boys are like lizards--you can cut them in pieces and they keep on living."
"Please, please, Mr. Major Carve-Beefsteak, I should like to know who gave you permission to cut off my leg."
"What? What? You dare ..."
"There's no good lecturing me, because I am not in the army, as poor Mollica used to say, so you don't frighten me worth a soldo. So I am just asking you who gave you permission to ... carry off my claw."
"Your claw? The femur was broken, the tibia cracked, the patella shattered, your temperature up over a hundred, delirium, threatened with gas gangrene.... I couldn't wait until you had gone to the devil before asking your permission to amputate. And, moreover, no more words about it. I cut when it's my duty to cut. If, in spite of the operation, the gangrene had continued I should have amputated your other leg as well. So let's look at it. Nurse, undo the bandages."
In a minute the b.l.o.o.d.y flesh was uncovered. Pinocchio bit his lips in order to keep from yelling with pain. Cutemup approached in a solemn manner, and, nearsighted as he was, had almost to stick his nose into the wound to make his examination.
"Fine.... The healing process has already begun ... the granulation is splendid, but have you any pain in the groin, boy?"
"How in the world do you expect me to know what that is?"
"Does it hurt you here?"
"No."
"Have you any pain in the sound leg?"
"No."
"Can you move it?"
"Yes."
"Bend it at the knee."
"I am doing it."
"Again, again, again. Does it pain you?"
"No."
"Fine!... Now stretch it out."
He should never have said that. Pinocchio stretched it out with such agility that there was no difference from the way he usually administered his solemnest kicks. His foot caught Cutemup right in the stomach and knocked him breathless into the arms of the young lieutenant, who had to resort to artificial respiration to revive him.
The Alpine soldier broke out into such an astonishing laugh from beneath his bandages and his beard that the others, Fatina included, had to echo him. Pinocchio played 'possum, perfectly still with his eyes half closed. When Cutemup, quite recovered, sprang toward him to give vent to his just vengeance, he seemed much surprised to see him in such a state. He examined him attentively, and, keeping himself a respectful distance away, poked with his forefinger two or three times the leg which had given him such marvelous proof of vitality and energy, then, turning to his colleagues, he began to speak in an imposing manner:
"The accident which befell me was the result of the nervous depression of the patient. The reflex motions have superiority over the will centers. The muscles slacken at the lightest pressure, like a cord of a strung bow. The vitality shown by the patient is due to a nervous over-excitation, not noticeable until now. I shall keep the patient under observation. If you come across similar cases, take notes of them that I may include them in my article. I shall order extra nutrition and care in building up the patient as soon as the wound has healed completely. Sister Fatina, note for the boy special rations of filet of beefsteak, roast chicken, eggs, custards well-sweetened, at dinner and again at supper."
[Ill.u.s.tration: HIS FOOT CAUGHT CUTEMUP RIGHT IN THE STOMACH AND KNOCKED HIM BREATHLESS]
At this bill of fare Pinocchio's leg by some strange phenomenon began to bend again from the knee.
The major, thoroughly absorbed in his lesson, did not notice it: "So, then, that is understood. You, Captain Teschisso, are doing splendidly; in a few days we'll take the bandage off you. Gentlemen, let us go into the next room."
They had scarcely gone out and the door was scarcely closed before Pinocchio burst out into such a hearty laugh that the captain and Bersaglierino had to laugh, too.
"You don't seem too much depressed."
"What were you doing with that leg in the air?"
[Ill.u.s.tration]
"Do you know, Captain, as my first kick had gained special nourishment for me, I wanted to give him another one so that I could get a double quant.i.ty; then there would have been something for all of you."
"Thank you, you shaved poodle."
Just then Fatina returned and was surprised to see Pinocchio laughing so hard that his tongue was hanging out with happiness.
"What's this?"
"Fatina, my compliments. Did you hear what the major ordered? Filet of beefsteak, chickens, custards with heaps of sugar, at dinner and again at supper."
"You wretch!"
"I am not a wretch; I am a poor, weak invalid and no one had better feel the muscles in my legs too much who doesn't want to get kicks in the stomach."
"You little beast! Suppose I go and tell the major that ..."
"No, for Heaven's sake! Dear Fatina, keep quiet."
"On one condition."
"Let's hear it."
"That you will be good, that you will be patient and let yourself be taken care of until it is time to fit your wooden leg."
"I promise you. You know, once I was made of wood all over. In order to get ahead I can even make up my mind to take a step backward."
CHAPTER VI
_Wherein We See Pinocchio's Heart_
All three of them were now up again. It was to be for them a day of great gladness. Yet all three were in a bad humor. They didn't even talk. Captain Teschisso, dressed in a brand-new uniform, couldn't tear himself away from the mirror, which he addressed in a low voice:
"Just see what they have made of me. I can't go on this way.... I am not presentable. Without an ear, with a slash on the cheek, half my beard gone ... I look like a wild animal to be shown at a circus.