The Grave Part 3

He laughed aloud, it sounded odd to his ears, he hadn't laughed for such a long time and it took him by surprise. He bit it back but it had felt good and he knew there was a smile on his face.

"Yeah, I got tea bags."

She grinned at him now.

"I hope there's milk though, I never could take it without."

"There's milk, it's long life but it's okay. Come on."

They walked to the back of the Land Rover and he opened the rear doors. A box stowed under the rear seat held a small camping stove, a tin kettle with a folding handle and an enamel mug. He rooted around in the bottom for a while and came up with a plastic cup, he peered inside, poured a drop of water into it, swilled it round and then wiped it on a piece of paper towel.

Once the stove was lit, standing on the kerb edge and the water was hissing and singing he dragged out the cardboard box he had packed back at the shack. He had pretty much emptied the kitchen cupboard into it. They made sandwiches with tinned ham and cheese slices, he brewed tea for her and coffee for himself and they sat on the back seat of the car so they could put the food between them.

For a while they ate in silence, worn down by the travelling and the things that had brought them here and each lost in thoughts they couldn't share and didn't know what to do with.

It was peaceful though, it was calm and there was a gentle companionship between them the like of which Sylvie had never known and Samuel had thought never to experience again.

She knew that before long it would all need to come out, her life with Phil, the truth about her mum and dad and then he'd probably dump her, and she wouldn't blame him. For now though it was enough, to sit in the dark and the quiet, to sip the warm tea and watch the dark shadow of Samuel outlined against the rain specked window.

Chapter 14.

After the food they settled down in the darkness, Samuel stretched across the rear seat, as much as the confined s.p.a.ce would allow, and Sylvie curled in the front, covered with her coat. It was cosy with only the distant swish of cars on the road and the patter of the rain on the roof...

When Sylvie opened her eyes it was still dark but the sky was paler and she guessed it must be almost dawn. Samuel was outside, the little stove was lit and the kettle was on, he was using a torch to find his way around. She pushed open the door and jumped out into the damp and dreary morning.

"Alright?"

"Mm, I slept well, surprised myself really. Did you?"

"Yes, no problem, I'm used to dossing down here and there."

It was the first time he had given any sort of information about his life and she waited to see if he would continue, but he turned back to the rear of the car where he had opened the food box. He dragged out a box of biscuits and offered her one.

"I think we can go for some breakfast in a little while, so this is just a good morning sugar treat."

"Thanks. Will it be okay, safe I mean?"

"Oh, I think so, the best thing we can do is just act normally. n.o.body here has any reason to look at us twice. Even when his mates find Phil is missing and it shouldn't be for a while yet, I don't believe it will cause us any problems. A low life like him, they disappear, n.o.body cares, some people just breathe a sigh of relief and everyone carries on. Did he have family, do you know?"

She shook her head, she wasn't ready, not yet, oh please not yet. Later today, she would tell him about herself, but when she had seen him, through the car window, she had felt such a rush of warmth and she didn't want to spoil it.

She shivered now though in the damp air and Samuel walked to the front of the Land Rover and dragged her jacket out, it still held some of the night warmth and he draped it around her shoulders. She needed to pee and she needed to clean her teeth. It was time to stop being so wimpy.

"I'm going in the bushes for a mo."

He reached into the box and brought out a roll of kitchen towel. She stared at him for a minute and then with a little giggle, part embarra.s.sment, part genuine amus.e.m.e.nt she tore off a piece and fought her way through the shrubs bordering the lay by.

While she was gone he'd packed up the stove, but her cup was still there, steam rising into the damp morning and she cupped her hands around the heat. He had made them coffee and added milk and sugar, she didn't normally add sugar but the sweetness was comforting.

"We can drive into town this morning, for breakfast. If we pick a fast food place we'll be able to use their bathrooms for a quick wash and stuff. Okay?"

She nodded at him. He was so very different from the way she thought he would be. His size was intimidating and his previous surly manner had been a bit scary. In the bar when she had first decided to approach him, she had been a little afraid but the thought of easy money had made her brave. Now though on this dim, quiet morning she saw a big man with a kind manner. His thick, brown hair was touched with a little grey and his face was rugged and weather worn. A shadow of stubble hinted at the beard that would grow were he to give it a chance and above it the dark blue eyes twinkled now and again as the moisture glinted in a stray gleam of light from pa.s.sing cars or his torch.

He had a calmness about him that was comforting and she detected nothing but friendship in the way he was treating her. How could it be, she had gone to h.e.l.l and back in his presence and yet he was behaving as if they were on any old road trip, almost a holiday.

He turned to her and as their eyes met, something, a frisson, a connection pa.s.sed between them. She had to turn away and her hands had begun to shake. She gulped back the last of her cooling coffee and then wiped out the plastic cup with more of the kitchen roll.

He packed away the last of their stuff, slammed the back door and climbed into the driving seat. Sylvie was still shaken, she was sure that in his eyes, she had seen something, a glimpse of feeling, just a hint of softening and maybe even of desire.

She told herself it was the circ.u.mstances, nothing more than a male, female interaction. She knew she wasn't bad looking and was used to blokes coming on to her, but him, now? She shook her head slightly, she couldn't deal with any more complications right now and there was still the difficult conversation facing her. Once they had it, then probably the parting of the ways would come very quickly. She slid into the car and closed her eyes as the vehicle nosed its way back onto the main road and headed for the town.

Chapter 15.

"Samuel, can I explain about Phil? I don't know what you think, thought about us, him and me."

"You told me he was your boyfriend, I saw a thug beating you up. I think you should pick better boyfriends. You don't need to tell me anything. Your life is your concern."

The sharpness of the answer brought tears to her eyes and for a moment she simply sat quietly, willing them not to roll down her face. She didn't want him to know he could upset her so easily. After a minute she cleared her throat and started speaking again.

"He wasn't my pimp, I suppose you think that."

She saw he was about to speak and raised a hand to still him.

"We got it on now and again and he gave me money, but he didn't make me turn tricks, well not regularly. He did with quite a few girls. The ones he supplied with drugs were stuck with it but not me. Now and again there were friends." She let it go now, she heard what she was saying and saw it for what it was, feeble excuses for things that shamed her.

Samuel shook his head but now she had started it had become vital that he understood.

"I was just getting by, in the flat and I met him and we liked each other, well I liked him, whether he did or not, I don't know. Anyway for a while it was good, then he made me do things I didn't want to and so I decided to get out and so he started to hit me. For the last year I've tried over and over to get rid of him but it was impossible."

"Why didn't you go and stay with your mum and dad?"

She took in a great breath and sighed.

"I couldn't, my dad's dead and I don't know where Mum is, don't care, don't want to know."

"You said they moved to be near your gran."

"I lied. My dad was a no good loser and my mum was hopeless. I'm ashamed of them and I never tell people about them, the lies just come out. I said stuff like that about them for so long now it feels like the truth. My dad died in jail.

"I'm not like that though, I'm not Samuel. I know you probably think I was on the game but I'm not. Okay I did think I could try and lift some stuff from your house. Everyone seemed to think you were rich and I thought if I gave you a good time then I could just take some stuff and it would be fair. I didn't though. I wouldn't. Once I had spent some time with you, you know, at your place. I wouldn't have taken anything. I liked you, I like you."

By now she was sniffing and the tears which had been beaten back earlier had breached her defences and she was wiping her streaming eyes on the sleeve of her thin sweat shirt. He reached over and flipped the rag from the dash board onto her lap.

"Okay."

As he spoke she turned and looked up at him her eyes alight with tears and hope and fear. It broke him up inside to see such raw emotion.

"Look, I woulda given you some money and don't really care what you intended to do. It all went down a different way anyway. I don't want to know about your parents, I know already what Phil was like, just don't tell me any more and don't tell me any lies. Okay."

She sniffed loudly, rubbed at her face with the piece of cloth and again turned to him.

"You're not going to dump me are you Samuel? please. I don't know what I'll do now."

"No, I'm not going to do that but no more lies. No more stories about your past, it's just that, yours I don't want it."

"Okay."

He had turned into the car park of a McDonalds and as they strode quickly towards the golden arches and the bright, greasy world of junk food and normality she almost skipped. She had told him and he hadn't thrown her out. For now it was enough.

They sat together on tall stools in the window and watched the day begin. No-one gave them a second glance and for a brief spell they existed in the sane, normal, humdrum world as the rest of humanity.

Just before they began gathering the garbage and sliding their feet from the stools onto the greasy floor she reached and took his hand, squeezing his fingers.

"Thank you Samuel."

He nodded, just once and then turned from her to head for the men's room and a quick wash. She followed and turned into the women's toilets where she did what she could with the liquid soap and the bits and pieces of toiletries in her handbag. She felt better but wondered how long it would be before she could have a shower and change her things.

They met back outside and in moments were on the road. Now, though she felt a difference in his driving, he was more directed and more specific about the roads he followed. It seemed now he had a destination in mind. Something had happened yesterday to change his plans but she couldn't think what it might be and in truth all she wanted to do now was hand over her future and simply be.

Chapter 16.

They shopped at a huge supermarket just off the motor way and took the opportunity to buy a meal in the little cafe. It was dull, badly cooked and tasteless but it filled their bellies and gave them the energy to keep going. Sylvie had wondered if they were to share the driving but he simply kept on and on, covering the miles. They chatted now and again about incidentals on the route, but mostly they were quiet.

She was desperate to know where they were headed but he had made it plain from the very beginning that he was travelling and she was along simply because he allowed her to be. She'd packed her ipod in the bag which was unreachable in the back, and anyway she didn't think she could just sit and listen to music with Samuel beside her quiet and focused on the driving. The old car had a radio but he had made no move to turn it on and so she had a.s.sumed it was broken or simply that he wanted quiet. She gave him quiet.

At times though, during the day she found the atmosphere and her dark memories oppressive, twice she tried to talk about Phil. She thought she needed to know what happened to him, to his body, after she had fled in quivering panic through the early morning. Twice her words were stilled by a glance from the man beside her and a shake of his head. He spoke of it briefly just once.

"I dealt with it, it's done. Now, all we can do is wait and hope and the longer we wait the better it will be, so you need to push it to the back of your mind. Don't let it rule you."

Now and again they would try to break the uneasy silence but it was strained and perfunctory. So many miles together in the little cab for two virtual strangers could be difficult in any case, but with the horrific and tormented beginning to their relationship it seemed impossible to get things onto an even keel. Like a great spectre between them, the memory of the s.e.x and then the violence and the fact that they had seen the best and the worst of each other in quick succession had built a wall impossible to scale.

As the day drew on the dullness and monotony was soporific and Sylvie let her thoughts drift. She was in a doze for a lot of the time, lulled by the sound of the engine and the rocking of the big car. She was jolted from her half dream as Samuel muttered to her.

"We're nearly there now."

The bald statement caused her stomach to flip with excitement, she hadn't known there was a "there" and so hadn't taken in details of their journey. They had pa.s.sed through the Midlands and into Lancashire; she had picked up clues in the road signs. Crewe, Nantwich, they were in Cheshire she knew. Soon afterwards they skirted the great spread of the city of Liverpool. They stopped on the outskirts of Preston and had a cup of coffee and toasted buns at a roadside stall. From across the fields she had a glimpse of the cupola on the buildings of the University of Lancaster. She was surprised; her expectations of the north had been dirty towns, mean streets and factories. In reality though there was green everywhere, neat little villages and signs of affluence, especially as they'd driven through Cheshire.

They drove around the flat sweep of Morecambe Bay with its deadly sands and murderous tides and in the background against the great grey sweep of cloud were the blue green hills of The Lakes.

It was gorgeous, there was water everywhere, rills, and rivers, streams and of course lakes. The winding roads meandered through little gatherings of houses, painted cottages with slate roofs and mile after mile of stone walling. Undulating fells and dales were scattered with grubby sheep and at times they would round a corner and the view of stream, cliff, lake and woodland would simply take her breath away. She'd had no idea it was so beautiful in this northern part of her own country and the wonder of it all expunged for this brief time the misery of the last few days and the worry about what would come next.

The high, wide sky was grey scudding cloud until every now and again the sun would force a few beams through to spotlight a cliff top or a sparkling, dancing stretch of water. She was mesmerised.

They pa.s.sed Windermere and then after another half hour or so wound down a narrow, one lane road between cottages with bright painted doors that opened directly onto the street. Samuel was unhesitating, it was obvious he was familiar with the area and knew exactly where he was heading.

He swung the car carefully around a tight bend, pulled into the side and then reached into the back of the car. He dragged out his waterproof jacket and shrugged it over his shoulders. It was difficult in the confined s.p.a.ce and she helped him, holding the sleeve so he could slide his arm into it. She expected that he would jump down, perhaps he needed to pee. Once he had the coat on though he just shrugged up the hood, pulling it forward over his face. He drew back onto the road and drove a few minutes towards the borders of the little hamlet. Almost at the edge of the village there were a few modern houses stood back from the road in simple gardens. He reversed up a narrow lane and then turned off the car engine and sat for a moment watching through the window into the gathering dusk. When he was satisfied, with what she wasn't sure, he clicked open the door.

"Hang on here for a bit. If you see anyone coming just keep your head down. I won't be long."

She nodded and watched him walk back the way they had just driven. The evening air quickly chilled the interior of the car and she dragged her own jacket over the seat back and shuffled herself into it. The engine ticked and clicked as it cooled and the evening song of birds she couldn't name were the only other company. She waited, her nerves jangled and her mind racing as she tried to guess just what was happening now. She had handed her living over to this man totally in the last two days and she felt adrift, floating unconnected, part of it was a peaceful feeling, like a child letting others make the decisions. There was also the reality of worry and fear about yet another ill thought out situation in her tumbled and chaotic young life.

Chapter 17.

The beam of a torch swung through the darkness picking out the gnarled and tormented branches of hedgerows and Sylvie bobbed her head down below the level of the dashboard. In the event it was Samuel, he swung the door open.

"Okay, it's a little walk, you take the smaller bags."

While Sylvie climbed down onto the mud of the turn in he opened the rear doors and retrieved the bags and laid them on the ground. She reached for her own and the smaller one of his.

"Hold on, I need to pull the car further back."

He slid behind the wheel and reversed until the car could barely be seen through the overhanging branches and tall weeds.

"That'll have to do for tonight. Come on, can you manage those bags?"

She bent and lifted them one in each hand, but he had already turned away to retrieve the remaining holdalls.