The Girl With The Dachshund Tattoo Part 1

The Girl With the Dachshund Tattoo.

Sparkle Abbey.

A killer took aim, and now one disliked doxie owner is dead on the sidelines at Laguna Beach's Dachshund Derby Races. Naturally, Mel is ankles-deep in dachshund drama.

I WAS LOOKING for a sweaty rock star with a dog tattoo and smeared eyeliner carrying Betty's stolen gun and an oversized camera. "You take the east side of the field and I'll take the west. If either of us sees Darby, we fill her in. We need all the help we can get."

Betty hiked her handbag onto her shoulder. "What about our booth? Who's gonna sell our stuff? Who's going to keep people from stealing it?"

"That's the least of our problems."

I had no idea how true those words were. But I was about to find out.

Dedication.

For all the doxie lovers and the wiener racing fans.

Chapter One.

WE WERE ABOUT to experience more waving, cheering, and crying than a TV audience during the crowning of Miss America.

Doxie Dash. Wiener Race. The Great Dachshund Derby. The name wasn't important. The crux of all the events was the same: running dogs, excited families, squeaky rubber toys, frantically waved treats, and a mega trophy for the winner. True, a trophy is not as glamorous as a tiara, but we can't all be beauty queens.

"Are you Team Zippy or Team Pickles?" Betty Foxx raised her grape-colored eyebrows expectantly. "I bet it's going to be a real smackdown. Their bitter rivalry has been all over the news."

Yes, you heard that correctly. Grape eyebrows. My eighty-something a.s.sistant had yet to explain the occasional lipstick-painted eyebrows, and I've wisely refrained from questioning her makeup application process. I have my own hang-ups. Who am I to judge her eyebrows?

Our race, the Laguna Beach Dachshund Dash, was an outdoor event at the local dog park. With a smattering of food booths and a slew of pet-related vendors, playful contestants and pumped-up fans had plenty to do throughout the day. The aromas of funnel cake, chili, and deep-fried mac and cheese collided in the air. My stomach rumbled, craving for a sample of everything.

Betty had nagged me to donate the official doxie jersey, which is how Bow Wow Boutique ended up with a vendor booth for the first time since the race had arrived in Laguna three years ago. What can I say? I'm a sucker for an a.s.sistant in silk pajamas, pearls, and lipstick eyebrows.

She had insisted the event organizers promise to pitch our booth, a shelter canopy with three sidewalls to display merchandise, adjacent to the racing lanes. They weren't as easily persuaded by Betty's pleas as I was. We were nowhere near the track.

I stepped around my sleeping bulldog, Missy. She looked dead, stretched out on a small patch of gra.s.s, bathing in the morning sun. Don't worry-she was alive and well, with a puddle of drool watering the gra.s.s. That dog could sleep through an earthquake.

I tossed a stack of lime canine jerseys on the display table and quickly separated them by size. The material felt a little thinner than I'd have liked, but, overall, the uniforms were darling.

"You do realize the feud is all media hype? Their rivalry is about ticket sales and money." I tried to hide my amus.e.m.e.nt at her insistence that the two dogs were enemies.

Of all people, Betty understood the power of the almighty dollar. Her retail background and quirky personality had boosted sales for my pet boutique since I'd hired her last Christmas. The success had gone to her head. Now she was convinced she was the Rainmaker of pet accessories. She concocted outlandish plans almost weekly, "guaranteed" to generate more sales. I adored her, but she was a handful to manage.

"Not true," she said. "The new reporter from Channel 5 News, Callum MacAvoy"-Betty took a breath long enough to shoot me her "hubba-hubba" face before she continued-"well, he's been talking about the bad blood between them for weeks. At the last race, Pickles almost closed the gap, but Moby b.u.mped Pickles out of bounds before they crossed the finish line. Pickles was disqualified, and Zippy was declared the winner." Betty danced in place, about to burst the seams of her tiger-print silk pajamas any second.

I laughed at her outdated dance moves. "Are you done?"

She snagged a stack of size-small jerseys and stacked them at the far end of the table. "Who are you backing, Cookie?"

My name wasn't Cookie. I'm Melinda Langston. Mel, to my friends. For reasons only known to Betty, she refused to call me by my name.

Unlike my spry a.s.sistant, I'm not as well versed in the drama of wiener racing. What few rules I knew would fit on a sticky note.

No running alongside your dog.

No loud horns or laser pointers.

The dog must cross the finish line within the boundaries and without help.

If Betty had the story straight, Pickles had a difficult time staying in bounds. Sounded like someone else I knew. I eyed my a.s.sistant, who stood with a hand on her hip, white sneaker firmly planted in the freshly mowed gra.s.s, waiting for an answer.

Oh, I almost forgot the most important rule. You have to pick up after your racer. I'm amazed at the number of people who "forget" that last one.

"If I have to choose, I guess I'm Team Pickles."

Betty wrinkled her nose in disapproval. "You would pick the dog named after food. I'm Team Zippy. He's the favorite. If I were a bettin' gal, I'd put my money on him. A win today would be his fourth t.i.tle in less than a year." Betty scurried behind me to rearrange the display rack of collars hanging on the sidewall.

"What can I say-I love an underdog."

Wiener racing was a little different than, say, horse racing or even greyhound racing. Wiener enthusiasts adorn themselves in over-the-top doxie-themed outfits, with an occasional superhero cape for added dramatic flair. Winners break into victory dances, while geeked-out fans storm the gra.s.sy area to demand a photo op with their favorite racer. That's the humans.

Then there are the dogs. Adorable low-riders with long, wiggly bodies, who race fifty yards toward their beloved human or favorite toy. As they sprint down the track, doggie tongues hang from their mouths, like Miley Cyrus mugging for the camera.

The majority of the pack has absolutely no idea what they're doing and ends up plowing into one another, reenacting the Puppy Bowl. But there are a few true compet.i.tors who can concentrate on the finish line for more than eight seconds. They're the ones who sprint down the field, all heart, for a photo finish.

That's where my best friend, Darby Beckett, comes in. As the official Dachshund Dash photographer, her job was to doc.u.ment the winner of each race. The number of prima donnas who dispute the final results, certain their pup had won by a nose, would surprise you.

By the end of the day's events, there will have been five heats, in three different weight cla.s.ses, with one winner in each category: miniature, lightweight, and heavyweight.

Betty shoved an empty box under the table. "It's almost nine. The contestants will arrive any minute."

"Great. We're ready for them." I pushed a stack of extra-large jerseys to the front of the table.

"Oh, make sure you're here at ten o'clock."

I stared at the faux innocent expression on Betty's face. "Why?"

"We have an interview."

Unpleasant memories of my last year in the beauty pageant world sprang to mind. I shook my head. "No. Not going to happen."

Her grape eyebrows shot upward. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"I don't like reporters."

In my experience, reporters were neither balanced nor impartial. Their goal was to tell a t.i.tillating story. Facts and truth were not necessary. To be fair, Betty didn't know that my mama had "persuaded" a male judge to vote for me during my Miss America run. Nor did she know about the wacky publicity that had resulted from my melodramatic disqualification. If she had, she'd understand my distrust of reporters.

"She's a filmmaker, Cookie. She's shooting a movie. Besides, it's free publicity."

Bless Betty's nave soul. "Nothing's free. We don't even know what the film's about."

"What's there to know? It's a dogumentary. A wiener racing biopic. The Long and the Short of It." Betty barked out a laugh and slapped her thin thigh in amus.e.m.e.nt. "That's the best t.i.tle."

I groaned. "That's an awful t.i.tle."

"When she comes around, I'll do the talking," Betty announced. "And don't stare at her."

"Why in the world would I stare?"

Betty tossed a sa.s.sy smile over her shoulder. "She's not s.e.xy like us."

"Is that so?"

"She's a behind-the-camera kinda person. Smeared eyeliner, ratty short hair, ripped jeans. You know, I should offer the poor girl pointers on her eyeliner."

I ignored the comment about eyeliner. "Sounds like any eighties glam band after a long concert."

Betty nodded excitedly as she moved the treat jars from the top shelf to a shelf at eye level. "So you've seen her?"

"How often have you talked to this filmmaker?" I resisted using air quotes, my skepticism obvious.

Betty patted my arm rea.s.suringly. "Don't you worry, Cookie. I've got it all under control."

I'd experienced Betty's version of control. Lord help us all. We were in trouble.

"HEY, MEL. THE booth looks great." Darby's blond curls brushed her shoulders. Her normally pale skin already sported a SoCal tan. We were dressed alike-jeans and the event T-shirt Betty and I had designed. The shirts had turned out great-a sunshine yellow material with the words "Wiener Takes All" in brown above a smooth-haired dachshund. All the vendors had agreed to sell the shirts, the profits to be donated to the rescue group, Doxie Lovers of OC.

As my best friend, Darby knew my drink of choice and handed me a chai tea latte from the Koffee Klatch.

"You are a lifesaver." I inhaled deeply, savoring the aroma of cardamom, cinnamon, and vanilla. "Where's Fluffy?" Fluffy was Darby's Afghan hound who has a superiority complex. I imagine she thought a doxie race was beneath her.

Darby slipped the strap of her soft leather messenger bag over her head, then laid the bag on the table. "I left her at home. This isn't exactly her idea of a good time. Where'd Betty run off to?"

"She took Missy to check out the other vendors. Ensuring we can beat the compet.i.tion. You know how she gets. The boutique never sells enough of anything."

Darby sipped her favorite drink, a white chocolate mocha latte. "When are you going to tell her you don't need the money?"

She referred to my "Texas money." Montgomery family money I rarely touched, much to my mama's displeasure. Mama would prefer I attended charity b.a.l.l.s and wasted my days "stimulating" the economy by buying junk I didn't need nor want. I preferred to work for a living.

I shrugged. "Not today. What have you been up to?"

She pulled her camera from her messenger bag. "Snapping candid photos. I got some great shots of the protesters. I found Zippy and Richard out front signing autographs. I thought I'd grab Betty and see if she'd like to join me."

"Wait. Did you say 'protesters'?"

She nodded, brows furrowed. "A dozen people with picket signs. One woman had a poster-sized photo of a dachshund racing in a wheelchair. To be honest, at first I found the idea inspirational, but the longer I looked at the picture, it became a little . . . disturbing."

"This is the first I've heard about any opposition to the race."

"They're part of a local animal activist group concerned about the possibility of back injuries. As the popularity of racing grows, they think the dachshunds may have the same overbreeding issues as greyhounds."

We sipped our drinks in silence. Darby took a couple of random photos. I felt a little uncomfortable. I'd never given any of those concerns a second thought. Could that controversy be the impetus behind the dogumentary? I was about to ask Darby if she'd seen the filmmaker when I caught a glimpse of my trusted a.s.sistant.

"Here comes Betty," I said.

We watched her stroll up the vendor aisle as she cast sly glances toward the other merchants. Missy waddled behind. With her short nose and bulky frame, she looked completely out of place around all the wiener dogs. The second Betty caught sight of Darby, she transformed into The Prancing Grandma.

"Darby, you're slacking," she announced. "As the official photographer, you should be taking pictures of the booths. Start with ours." She shoved Missy's leash in my hand, then scooted around the table. She struck a pose in front of a rack of merchandise. "Make sure you get the sweaters. They're on sale."

Darby snapped pictures as Betty acted out her interpretation of a supermodel photo shoot. I watched, amused, as I drank my breakfast.

"I saw Zippy," Betty said. "I don't like his owner. He tugged on Zippy's leash and made the poor dog walk in circles, backwards. I think Zippy hurt his leg. I saw him limping. Instead of Ricky-d.i.c.ky being concerned, he yelled at him to stop whining. He made me so mad. I've switched teams."

Ricky-d.i.c.ky? Since when had she started calling Richard Eriksen Ricky-d.i.c.ky? Betty suddenly struck an awkward wide-legged stance and threw a punch.

"He's lucky I didn't show him my new moves. You girls should have seen me in that self-defense cla.s.s I took a few months ago. I was a rock star." Betty acted out what could have been a scene from a Jackie Chan movie. Birdlike arms flailed in front of her face; her right knee jabbed the air.

"Boom." Step. "Boom," she shouted.

"Settle down, girlfriend, before you attack the rack of dog collars." I guided her away from the merchandise.

"You don't get it. If anyone pulls a gun on us again, I'm ready for them." Betty struck a Charlie's Angel stance, complete with clasped hands imitating a gun.

Last Christmas, Betty and I had been held at gunpoint, a life-changing moment for both of us. Apparently, she'd gone on the defensive, whereas I had decided to cross a line without thought about the repercussions. More on my poor decision later.

"That was a fluke," I said.

"You don't know that," she insisted.

For everyone's benefit, I'd better be right. "Let's finish the pictures."

"Stand next to the sign," Darby ordered. "I want the boutique's name in a couple of shots."

"Good idea. Cookie, get over here."

Betty's previous kung-fu impersonation over, Missy and I reluctantly obeyed. I set my half-empty cup on the table.

Darby slowly lowered her camera. "Mel, where's your engagement ring?"