The Girl, The Gold Watch And Everything Part 19

"But if you'd known you didn't know me, then it wouldn't have happened would it?"

She stopped abruptly and looked up at him, sidelong and wary. "Huh? How does that go?"

"As far as you were concerned, I was Bernie. Right? So there's no reason to blame yourself, is there?"

She was silent for a moment. Then she sat up, snuffled once, nodded at him. "I guess I got to think on it the way you say. But I broken a secret vow to myself, made when I was fourteen, how never in my whole life would I sack out with no man I din feel love for. Even it's an accident, it still counts, sort of. I even feel funny you lookin' at me, and it never bothers me with no man I love. But I get dressed, that's funnier yet. I doan know what the h.e.l.l to do, mister. What's your name again?"

"Kirk Winner."

"Friend of Bernie's?"

"A friend of a friend."

"You down on the television thing?"

"No."

"Married?"

"No."

She tilted her head. "You're not such a bad looking fella anyways."

"Thanks so much."

She wrinkled her clear young forehead into a thoughtful scowl. "What bothers me, it was so real fine, Kirk. I mean I had the idea there had to be love, so when it's fine with a stranger, it makes me out some kind of animal like."

"You were expressing the love you feel for Bernie. That's what made it right, Bonny Lee."

She grinned. "You talk things out good for me. You'll be having me coming around with all kinds of problems, hey?"

"Any time."

"I keep wondering now how Bernie would look without the mustache. Gawdd.a.m.n it, I thought I was going to get to see."

"How old are you, Bonny Lee?"

"Twenny, practically."

"Dear G.o.d. You live with your folks?"

"My folks! You some kind of a nut or something? My folks, they're farmin' on shares, South Carolina, and I was fourteen, went into a beauty contest you were supposed to be sixteen, and I sure G.o.d looked sixteen or better. I didn't do good on the talent part, but the prize I got was one of the judges taken me to New Orleans and I never been back since. Married one time and it was a mess and I shucked him fast, man played clarinet and drank shine. Then I got to singing around, and now I'm working a place, Rio's, up North Miami, singing and sort of stripping some, but not down to raw, and a bongo thing I do too. But what's coming on for me good now is a career, and that one marriage was plenty I can tell you, and Bernie he's been good to me, starting last year. So I have a ball, it saying on my work card I'm twenny-two, and my own little car and all, and friends enough, but Jesus I didn't count on walking into nothing like this here. I tell you true, it has plain upset the h.e.l.l out of me, Kirk."

She swiveled and moved off the bed in a leggy stride, moved out of the bright area of the light. She was in a shadow area then, where the only visible things were the bright hair and the two pale areas of bikini.

"Folks!" she said and snorted. "I sw.a.n.g that hoe enough under that hot sun, and I stayed, I'd be wore down with nakedy kids by now, cause there you don't have your first young by fifteen, you got to be looking like a toad frog, and I sure didn't. And don't." "No, you don't."

"Took that little judge's wife seven weeks to hunt him down, and then she bust every dish in the apartment. On him, and me going out the back way with the little bit of money he had left by then. That taking the money is the only thing I ever did shamed me until this night, Kirk."

Moving slowly, she picked her clothes off the floor, shook them, hung them over an arm of a chair. She came back toward the bed, picked up a white purse and sat on the edge of the bed, toward the foot of the bed, just out of the cone of light, facing him.

"Glaring on you," she said. She got up and switched on a low lamp in a far corner, turned off the overhead prism and sat on the bed again. She took a small brush out of her purse and brushed the fitted cap of white curls. She was partially silhouetted against the light. She lit two cigarettes and stretched toward him and handed him one.

"Well, h.e.l.l," she said wistfully. "You can't win 'em all." He had begun to realize how remarkably good he felt. He wanted to ride a chrome bike down Main Street, no hands, waving all the flags of the Americas. He wanted to get a reasonably good start and run right up the side of a few tall buildings. He could do a tireless handstand and twirl batons with his toes. This was indeed a splendid girl. He was very fond of her.

"What's so gawdd.a.m.n funny?" she demanded. "Sorry. I didn't realize I was laughing." "What you do for a living, sugar?" "I, I'm sort of between jobs."

"What's your trade?" "Sort of, investments."

"And the investment was three kings against a lousy little full house. That's how it goes, sugar." "Uh, Bonny Lee?" "Yay?"

"You, uh, you said it was, pretty fine?" "You were there, weren't you, brother? You weren't all that much sound asleep, and that's for sure. You want a medal of honor or something? I swear to G.o.d, some day I hope to meet a man doesn't want to be told he's the best there is. What is it with men anyhow? A girl, she just wants to be lovin' and wanted, and a d.a.m.n man, every time, it's like he wonders if he can make the Olympics. You all scared you haven't got it? Y'all go round provin' it often enough, then swaggering around like you'd done something special, like as if it was something any mink couldn't do quicker and oftener. Big deal. I give you a pa.s.sing grade. Okay?" "Sorry I mentioned it."

"So am I, sugar. So am I. There's one thing bores me d.a.m.n near to death, it's talking about it. Folks get hungry and have a fine steak, they sit over the bones and talk about it? They get thirsty and have a big cold drink, they sit around peerin' down into the gla.s.s a-wonderin' what temperature it was, for Gawd's sweet sake. The way I figure, " "I said I'm sorry I brought it up!"

"Shees marie, you don't have to beller at me, sugar! You know, you got a temper onto you?"

"I'm a very mild guy! I always have been! I never lose my temper! Get off my back, will you?"

"Kirk, sugar, you're real edgy. There anything to eat?" "Some cold ham. Rye bread."

"I'll just whomp up sanwiches, make us both feel better. You know it's three in the morning?"

She went into the kitchen corner and turned on the bright overhead fluorescence. He propped himself on the pillows so he could watch her. Her long legs were so tanned they looked carved out of redwood, shaped lovingly, sanded to sleekness, polished. As she bent and moved and worked, he admired the smooth clench and slither of the young muscles of haunch and back and shoulders. And he felt the vast contentment of what he knew could be no more than a momentary ownership, and he wanted to find a heavy stone and chunk himself in the head with it for having deprived himself for so long of this kind of fatuous, arrogant smugness he had not realized existed.

She began to hum and then to sing. Her singing voice was an octave deeper than her speaking voice. Both the song and the phrasing were tantalizingly familiar.

"Billie!" he said suddenly.

She turned and grinned at him. "G.o.d rest her soul. Played all them records til nothing left but a scratchy hiss, then boughten some more and played those out too. Withouten Lady Day, I'd have hardly no career at all, sugar. There any one of hers you like special?"

"G.o.d Bless the Chile."

She clapped her hands with delight. "d.a.m.n all, Kirk honey, that there is my song. Seven thousand times I sung that, all alone and for the people, and not one time it wasn't like my heart turning over slow. I can cry to that song, thinking of that poor lost broad and how the world broke her 'down. After this here ham, I'll sing it to you good, and you shuten your eyes, you'll think she's come on back for sure. Say, here is some of that burgundy red wine all fizzed like a sof'drink, like I had here one time before. You want some tall with ice?" "I'd like that, Bonny Lee."

She brought the wine in tall gla.s.ses, and thick sandwiches on white napkins, all on a teak tray. Nothing had ever tasted better to him. "I'm night people," she said, chewing busily. "Three o'clock, four o'clock, I could gnaw the ears off a gallopin' horse."

"But you get out in the sun."

"Set my alarm for noon, usually. Swim fifty lengths, five at a time, bake myself in between. Keeps me tightened up nice, you think so?"

"Very nice, Bonny Lee."

She took the tray out and brought back more wine. When it was gone she put the gla.s.ses aside and said, "Now close your eyes and hear Billie."

She did it beautifully, her tone smoky, gentle. Midway he opened his eyes. She was singing with her eyes closed, swaying slightly. ", rich relations give crust of bread and such. You can h'ep youself, but doan take too much ...."

After the last note was gone into the silence of the room, she opened her eyes and they were shiny.