The Geste of Duke Jocelyn Part 22

To which Lobkyn, writhing and watering at the eyes, answered thus:

"Stay, prithee grannam, loose thy hold!

I would but be an outlaw bold, An outlaw fierce that men shall fear-- Beseech thee, grand-dam, loose mine ear!"

"An outlaw, naughty one!" screeched the Witch, tweaking ear the harder.

"Dare ye tell me so, elf?"

LOBKIN: Aye, grand-dam--cuff me an ye will, Nath'less an outlaw I'll be still, And many a wicked rogue I'll kill-- O grand-dam, loose mine ear!

And day and night I'll slay until All rogues my name do fear.

For grand-dam, I'm a fighter--O, Beseech thee, let my ear go!

And bones shall crack and blood shall flow, If any dare resist me.

And all the world my name shall know, Pray by the ear don't twist me!

All men before my club shall fly, All on their knees shall "mercy" cry, Or mangled in their gore shall lie-- Ah, grand-dam, pray don't clout me!

Don't beat me, grannam dear, but try To do awhile without me--

"Without thee, thou piece o' naughtiness?" screamed the old woman. "Now will I lay my stick about thee--hold still, Rogue!"

Saying which, she proceeded to belabour the poor Dwarf with her knotted stick, clutching him fast by his ear the while. Thus she be-thwacked him soundly until he roared for mercy.

"Why, how now--how now?" cried a merry voice, and Robin strode into the firelight. "Gentle Witch, sweet dame," quoth he, "what do ye with poor Lob?"

"Thwack him shrewdly!"

"Which is, Witch, that which none but witch the like o' thee might do, for l.u.s.tier fighter and mightier dwarf never was. Thus, but for thy witch-like witcheries, the which, Witch, witch do prove thee, but for this and the power and potency of thy spells, now might he crack out thy life 'twixt finger and thumb--"

"Ha, forest-rogue, 'tis a bad brat, a very naughty elf would run off into the wild to be rogue like thee--an outlaw, forsooth!"

"Forsooth, Witch," laughed Robin, "outlaw is he in very truth, in sooth and by my troth! Outlaw is Lob, banned by Church and Council of Ten, and so proclaimed i' the market square of Ca.n.a.lise this very morn by sound o'

trumpet and--"

"How? How?" cried the old woman, wringing her trembling hands. "My Lobkyn outlawed? My babe, my lovely brat, my pretty bantling, woe and alas! My dear ugly one an outlaw?"

"Aye, marry is he, Witch, outlaw proclaimed, acclaimed, announced, p.r.o.nounced and denounced; as such described, ascribed and proscribed by Master Gregory Bax, the port-reeve, for the late slaying and maiming of divers of the city guard. So outlaw is Lobkyn, his life henceforth forfeit even as mine."

"My Lobkyn an hairy outlaw i' the wild-wood! Out alas! And what of his poor old grannam? What o' me--?"

"Content thee, sweet hag, since thou'rt outlawed along with him and, as witch, doomed to die unpleasantly by fire and flame and f.a.ggot, if thou'rt caught."

"Alack! Wala-wa! Woe 's me!" groaned the Witch, cracking her finger-bones.

"And all this by reason o' the Fool yonder."

"Why, the Fool is dubbed outlaw likewise, Witch," quoth Robin. "Outlaw is he along o' thee and Tanner Will."

"And all by reason that this Fool must needs peril our lives for sake of rogue-outlaw, of forest-robber, of knavish woodland-lurker--"

"Hight Robin!" laughed Robin, leaning on his long bow-stave. "Now, this brave Fool having saved Robin his life, Witch, the which, Witch, was good thing for Robin, our Fool next saved thee, Witch, which was nought to Robin, in the which, Witch, Robin did not joy; for thou, old Witch, being witch, art therefore full o' witcheries which be apt to be-devil a man and fright his reason, for the which reason, being reasonable man, I reason, for this reason, that, so reasoning, I love thee not. But thou art old, Witch, which is good reason to reasonably reason thou art wise, Witch, and, being wise, I on this wise would seek counsel of thy wisdom, Witch.

Imprimis, then--"

"Hold!" commanded the Witch; "here's a whirl o' windy wind! Hast more of such-like, forester?"

"Some little, Witch, which I will now, Witch--"

"Nay, then, Robin-a-Green, suffer me to rest my old bones whiles thy mill clacks." Hereupon the old Witch seated herself beside the fire, with bony knees up-drawn to bony chin. "Speak, outlaw Robin," she croaked, blinking her red eyes, "and speak ye plain."

"Why, then, wise Witch, look 'ee: since we be outlaws each and every, with all men's hands against us, with none to succour, and death watchful for us, 'tis plain, and very plain, we, for our harbourage and defence, must in the wild-wood bide--"

"Ho!" cried Lobkyn:

"It soundeth good, The brave wild-wood, Where flowers do spring And birds do sing.

To slay the deer And make good cheer, With mead and beer, The livelong year, And--"

"Roar not, toad!" cried the Witch. "Say on--Rogue-Robin!"

"Why, mark me, good Witch, here's where buskin chafeth! Not long since I ruled i' the wild-wood, a very king, with ten-score l.u.s.ty outlaw-rogues to do my will. To-day is there never an one, and for this reasonable reason--to wit, I am hanged, and, being hanged, am dead, and, being dead, am not, and thus Robin is n.o.body; and yet again, perceive me, Witch, being Robin, I am therefore somebody; thus is n.o.body somebody, and yet somebody that n.o.body will believe anybody. The which, Witch, is a parlous case, methinks, for here am I, somebody, n.o.body and Robin altogether and at the same time; therefore, Witch, o' thy witchful wisdom--who am I, what and which, Witch?"

Here the Witch blinked and mowed, and cracked her finger-bones one after another. Quoth she:

"For thy first, thou'rt thyself; for the second, a rogue; and for the third, a wind-bag. I would thy second might tie up thy first in thy third."

"So should Robin choke Robin with Robin. But hark 'ee again, good, patient dame. It seemeth that Ranulph the executioner betaketh him at c.o.c.k-crow to hang poor me; but, finding me not, made great outcry, insomuch that the city guard, such as mighty Lob and Will had left alive, sought counsel together; and taking one of their slain fellows, Ranulph hanged him in my stead, and there he hangeth now, above the city gate, his face so marred that he might be me or any other."

"Ha, Robin--well?"

"This day, at sunset, came I unto the trysting-oak, and by blast of horn summoned me my outlaw company. They came apace and in great wonderment, for, seeing me, they fell to great awe and dread, thinking me dead, since many had seen my body a-dangle on the gallows; wherefore, seeing me manifestly alive, they took me for ghoulish ghost 'stead o' good flesh and blood, and fled from me amain. So, by reason of my dead body, that is no body o' mine, yet that n.o.body will believe is no body o' mine, they believe that this my body is yet no body, but a phantom; the which is out of reason; yet thus unreasonably do the rogues reason by reason of the body that hangeth in place of my body above the city gate. Wherefore I reason there is yet reason in their unreason, seeing this body was somebody, yet no body o' mine, but which n.o.body among them can swear to. Which, Witch, is a matter which none but wise witch may counsel me in. How say'st thou, Witch?"

But for a while the old Witch scowled on the fire, bony chin on bony knees, and dreamily cracked her finger-joints.

"Oho!" she cried suddenly. "Aha--a body that n.o.body's is, yet body that everybody knoweth for body o' thine--aha! So must n.o.body know that n.o.body's body is not thy body. Dost see my meaning, Robin-a-Green?"

"No whit, Witch! Thou growest involved, thy talk diffuse, abstruse and altogether beyond one so obtuse as simple Rob--"

"Then hark 'ee again, Addlepate! Everybodymust believe n.o.body's body thy body, so by dead body will I make thy live body of so great account to everybody that n.o.body henceforth shall doubt dead body made live body, by my witchcraft, and thou be feared, therefore, of everybody. Dost follow me now, numskull?"

"Aye, truly, mother! And truly 'tis a rare subtlety, a notable wile, and thou a right cunning witch and wise. But how wilt achieve this wonder?"

"Since dead thou art, I to life will bring thee. Oho, I will summon thee through fire and flame; aha, I will make thee more dreaded than heretofore; thy fame shall fill the wild-wood and beyond. Know'st thou the Haunted Wood, hard by Thraxby Waste?"

Now here Robin's merry smile languished, and he rubbed nose with dubious finger.

"Aye, I do," quoth he sombrely; "an ill place and--demon-rid, they say--"

"Come ye there to-morrow at midnight."

"Alone?" says Robin, starting.

"Alone!"